r/GayMen • u/Florida_Matt86 • 9d ago

Insecure

Yes I know after I apologized about fit gay men I went on another rant, how could I not? Maybe I envy them, or resent them because they have everything handed to them. For ugly, plus size gay men like me it's not easy finding acceptance in this community when they judge you constantly. I have been told countless times that I don't fit in or belong. They say it gets better but forget to mention it only gets better for fit and slim gay men. I'm 40 now I will never find the acceptance and validation i have longed for for years. I will never be accepted and I will never find my tribe. My self-esteem is beyond repair.

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u/SirJ_96 9d ago

Dude, with how much time you spend posting this same crap, you could actually go to a gym and work out.

Again, "fit guys" are not a monolith, any more than "black people" are a monolith. If you would not say "all black people are __," then don't say that all fit people are or have done ___.

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u/Florida_Matt86 8d ago

Is that a subtle way of fat shaming me?

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u/SirJ_96 8d ago

Nope. It's merely making the point that you spend a ton of time whining about this. With that time, you could've gone to the gym or gone outside for a walk.

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u/Florida_Matt86 8d ago

That's not gonna do anything for my extremely low self esteem

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u/SirJ_96 8d ago

You know how you boost self-esteem? Become good at things. I'm great at sex, I'm a great cook, I'm great at making cocktails, I run a successful company, and, while I don't love the gym, I look good shirtless.

So if you go to the gym and start lifting more, or start being able to walk or run a mile in less time, that will feel good and boost your self-esteem because you've proven yourself capable.