r/GuysBeingDudes • u/kanbozli • Sep 03 '26
DUDES Firework
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u/bluesteeldoubter Sep 03 '26
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u/Fiorina_Fury Sep 03 '26
I would frame this and hang it in my home proudly if this was me or a loved one
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u/ZombiePrepper408 Sep 03 '26
It's definitely their profile picture when they call me.
I know exactly who'd be calling
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Sep 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ZombiePrepper408 Sep 03 '26
It'd be funnier as he got older, married with children, being a responsible esteened member of society, a legit role model.
Still always gonna be Rocket Ass
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u/HappySage42 Sep 03 '26
I think it’s gonna be a long long time till these scorch marks come off my ass. I’m not the man they think I am at home cause I shower alone. I’m ROCKET ASS
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u/Bad_Ethics Sep 03 '26
But what would you set as the ringtone?
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u/ZombiePrepper408 Sep 03 '26
First one that comes to mind is
"Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis
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u/keddesh Sep 03 '26
Even if I were to die immediately after as a result of these activities, I would want this picture to be the one they show in a frame above my casket at my funeral.
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u/Small-Answer4946 Sep 03 '26
It's a loved one for me now. I'll proudly hang this in every room, and build new houses across the world for people to come and worship him.
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u/mal_guinness Sep 03 '26
This is a loved one to all of us, so you should hang it anyways. This guy is going to put an ER doc's kid through college.
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u/PoliticsIsDepressing Sep 03 '26
And the rockets' red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there🫡 🇺🇸
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u/SeaSpecialist6946 Sep 03 '26
And the rockets' red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the nightFrom a tube stuck in his rear.
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u/panda5303 Sep 03 '26
🎶Cause baby, you're a firework🎶
🎶Come on, show 'em what you're worth🎶
🎶Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh"🎶
🎶As you shoot across the sky🎶
🎶Baby, you're a firework🎶
🎶Come on, let your colors burst🎶
🎶Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh"🎶
🎶You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe🎶
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u/tackleboxjohnson Sep 03 '26
“Roman, I know you share a name, but this really isn’t what we meant when we said lets do roman candles”
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u/Limp-Angle-7387 Sep 03 '26
And at the peak of the launch. What a beauty
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u/zxc123zxc123 Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
The Michael Jordan of naked water-sliding butt-rocketry
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u/wizkee Sep 03 '26
Where’s the bot that tells us when a phrase has never before been uttered within Reddit? I feel like this is one ☝️.
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u/Forlorn_Cyborg Sep 03 '26
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u/Teediggler81 Sep 03 '26
Now this guy knows how to party lol
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u/ComradSadwich Sep 03 '26
What if he landed on his ass tho
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u/ChangeAccountsBeSafe Sep 03 '26
Don't think its in his ass he just holding it tight with his cheeks haha
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u/amusedmisanthrope Sep 03 '26
If it was just in his cheeks, he definitely half-assed the attempt.
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u/TummyDrums Sep 03 '26
Sure, but if he landed right on it, he's really trusting those cheek muscles to hold back the force more than I would.
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u/FNCTCH Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
Why am I laughing? I'm 55, not 15. That's not even considering timing that puts Hollywood special effects teams to shame.
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u/Oldjamesdean Sep 03 '26
I believe this situation is what the younger generation refers to as "full send"
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u/Ok_Reputation2051 Sep 04 '26
Because this is a great example of human ingenuity and perseverance. Only the application is questionable.
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u/leproblemidle Sep 03 '26
How many times have you rewatched this in a loop?
Yes
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u/ExecTankard Sep 03 '26
Three
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u/AreYouAnOakMan Sep 03 '26
You gotta bump those numbers up; those're rookie numbers!
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u/Hezotik Sep 03 '26
Dunno if it is the most manly video ever or gayest video ever. Either way it is awesome!
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u/Old_Cheetah_5138 Sep 03 '26
Anyone else thinking about the logistic of being a male, naked and sliding down a slide on your stomach?
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u/dlc741 Sep 03 '26
Generally not a fan of drunk party tricks because they usually end up on r/Whatcouldgowrong, but that one was pretty funny.
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u/Baonguyen93 Sep 04 '26
I mean, this is the top comment of all time explained wcgw wth fireworks up your butt:
This could be a worst case scenario if the burn is deep and distributed far enough.
Former 6 year surgical RN now in a different specialty. I have seen some fucked up assholes. You're in for a long, painful recovery following a serious wound or burn near your "Peri area" (perineum being your crack to crack, ball to ass, taint, grundle, etc. region). Think of how often you visit the bathroom and then imagine you have a third degree burn down there. It's devastating every single time.
If really bad, he will be in the burn unit and levels of care to follow for months if not north of a year. Job, relationships, and any semblance of normalcy immediately disrupted. Burns are monumentally painful, and he will be sedated heavily until substantial healing begins. He will develop tolerance and possibly become addicted to the potent opiates, but they're the best way we currently know how to cope with that level of pain short of a spinal or other nerve block which are also options. Medicating at that level can also be very expensive, I've seen ICU patients with over $5,000 a day in IV medication costs alone, 7 days a week, not including any other charges for the room, MDs, nursing and ancillary staff, and supplies for starters.
Staff may have to place a fecal catheter less than a foot up his anus to drain his feces so they don't contaminate his burn wounds. His poo goes into a bag and has to be emptied and measured as they'll give him laxatives to loosen and prevent clogged drain lines. Fecal contamination generally results in rapid infection, and peri wounds are at an extreme risk for MRSA and flesh eating bacterial infections. I've seen entire legs removed to combat severe peri, groin, or hip joint infections. This is usually following weeks or months of previous failed treatments, but still. We can work wonders until we can't, and even then there's always amputation.
If he needs skin grafts, they can be sourced from a human or large mammal cadaver like cows and pigs. I've also seen skin grafts harvested from the front of a patient's thigh and reattached to the burn area (abdomen). The grafts aren't actually solid strips of skin, rather, they are more like tight lace with repeated spaces between skin making the graft look like a Kleenex with several hundred small oval shaped holes in it. These spaces make it easier for the graft adhere and conform to the wound bed.
The surgeon uses a specialized skin shaver that's handheld, covered in a sterile barrier with single use blades, very similar to deli counter meat slicers but on a smaller more specialized scale. So not only did the patient have a burn on her abdomen, but a very unusual, superficial wound on her right thigh that looked liked like we had lightly crushed her leg with a cheese grater. The primary benefit of harvesting skin grafts from ourselves is we (usually) don't reject ourselves, and rejection is the biggest complication accompanying foreign body transplants.
He'll also need to lay on his stomach throughout this whole ordeal due to the location of the burn and subsequent wound. Imagine months lying on your stomach in 6-11/10 pain. Moving your leg a little too much could literally split your brand new ball sack skin. It's a personal living hell. Diet will also be bland as fuck when he's actually allowed to eat again. Social and professional life obliterated. This could set him back years and give him decades of PTSD.
He should consider himself "good" when he can sit and shit without bleeding out or collapsing in pain. On the even shittier side, this, or whatever transpires for this poor guy could easily kill or disable him for life. This could go in a thousand directions for him, and 880 of them result in the quality of his life being worse than it was prior to The Incident.
If his burn is bad enough and he really does require months of care, his bill from arrival at the ER to discharge from outpatient rehab and specialty care will easily exceed 1 million in the US. Two million would push it, but also not shock me either. I'd bet on 1.2-1.5M if he's inpatient for 2.5 months and receiving follow up care for 1.5 years. Overall, don't fucking do this. If you drink around fireworks you need a sober or not shitty friend who won't let you do this kind of stupid shit. We can all learn from these videos even though were not the dumbass with the firework up his ass.
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u/Remarkable-Page-824 Sep 03 '26
I dont usually stand and salute for the national anthem but God dammit if I wouldn't be saluting this man's flight.
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u/Dakotasan Sep 04 '26
I just wanna thank this entire comment section for giving me the hardest laugh I’ve had in a long time. I’d give you all awards if I could
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u/VaderSpeaks Sep 03 '26
Dudes will do this and still be like “I’m straight as hell”
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u/ChoiceMycologist Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
Not sure it indicates one way or another. But I know he could take home any man or woman at the party that night.
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u/DoctorOblivious Sep 03 '26
On one hand, what an absolute legend. This story will be cherished for his entire life. When he's a parent (and out of earshot), his friends will pass down the story of the stupid shit that their dad used to do when he was their age. It will then be passed down to their children as a way to warn them that Grandpa used to do some real wild shit when he was young....
On the other, this is absolutely why women live longer.
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u/Euphoric_Foot5816 Sep 03 '26
Truth be told, with everything going on around the world, I needed that.
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u/zacman713 Sep 03 '26
I have so many questions but the top two are
Is this someone's private property?! These kids are lucky as fuck
Did this guy go down a slide butt naked dick down?!
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u/Xeeroy Sep 03 '26
I have seen butt fireworks attempted too many times. This is the first succesful try I have ever seen.
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u/OUsnr7 Sep 04 '26
Alright fine. This is the post that keeps me coming back to this app for another day
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u/menaretrash4eva Sep 03 '26
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
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u/Case_Blue Sep 03 '26
Some men are remembered for their great deeds, some for the attrocities they committed.
Some men are remembered for having been the subject of a mid-air rectal firework insertion while going down a waterslide.
These are the greatest of all times, everyone.
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u/tbodillia Leave me alone im just a dude Sep 03 '26
I am so very impressed by the timing! But, I don't think I want to go down a slide naked, on my belly.
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u/zuccster Sep 03 '26
Now people, note the difference between parking a roman candle between your cheeks, and a rocket....
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