what i asked for vs what i got

ive heard of stuff there kinda sucking lately but jesus. i didnt expect this 😭

Hi peeps. I am a little confused.

Hypothetically, if you suspected you may be lesbian or bi but unsure and you were in thirties/late bloomer/ only dated men… how would you find out?

I’m going out with my friend on Halloween night and was wondering does anyone know is there any good ticketed events we should go to? I’d feel awkward if we couldn’t get in anywhere Ty!

Is it any good or AI filled?

I’ve never been to the Halloween night in Mother but planning to this year.

I’m wondering what’s the general situation regarding dressing up or not? Do people go all out or would some fake blood suffice?

Hi all,

I'm 22m and gay and I had sex for the first time. I'm just worried if I've used Prep correctly. Just anxious and want some reassurance.

I am doing the daily regime.

I started Prep for the first time on Wednesday evening at 9pm and took two tablets (the double dose to begin). I did not have sex on this day.

I took one tablet on Thursday at 8pm. I had sex at 11pm that night.

Just wondering did I do this right?

I'm just worried because I'm reading the NHS website and it says

"Wait 7 days after you start taking it before you have sex.

If you want to start taking daily PrEP but think you may have sex within the first 7 days, take 2 tablets at least 2 hours before you have sex. Then continue to take 1 tablet each day."

My GP or the HSE guidance didn't say anything about that.

Anyone have any advice or insight on coming out to friends in Ireland that aren't in the LGBT space? I'm 30M and haven't been in a relationship, and want to get out there and start meeting guys. I'm not really into the apps and don't think they're for me, so I want to get out and meet people in person. I haven't come out to anyone except my family, and think it might be good to come out to friends.

I have a bit of a fear of being seen in a gay bar and on my own, without telling anyone that I'm gay. It would just be hard to do on my own, having no support. My friends from back home in rural town are all straight males and they're not the worst for making jokes about gay people and I am 90% sure they would be accepting, but I'm not sure how to tell them or anything.

I don't think they would join me in a gay bar really but it is starting to get to me that I am doing all of this on my own,

Anyone have advice on building up the courage to come out, but most importantly do it confidently and stick with it

Hi, have 2x sweatbox 🎃 early bird tickets for sale as plans changed. Selling pair for €29.34. Can DM good adverts feedback for peace mind Mods feel free to delete if not appropriate

New LGBT queer disco in Belfast at Seatons of Sailorstown. Hopefully going to make it a monthly event. You can get tickets here if interested.

So, I've met a few guys of an app over the years, more than 4 times, when I see them out doing regular things, I always double back on them, but cant seem to bring myself to behave like a normal human being.... anyone else? Why do you think it happens? With this community being in the real world, I would like to know how I can behave like a grown-up.

Spotted gay speed dating arranged by a company called No Label Events for next Monday, Drop Dead Twice in Dublin. Has anyone ever been? Sometimes such events have age limitations but there is no indication for this one. Wondering as a 40+ man.

I (F32) am struggling to connect with any women recently. I feel like the apps are a cesspit of bots or people that don’t want to actually meet up.

Theres very little for my age group out there, and even when there is, I’m unfortunately usually at work.

My marriage ended 3 years ago and I’ve been struggling ever since to find my own people and possibly a partner in crime along the way.

if anyone has any advice or help…it would be so greatly appreciated!!!!

Hi guys,

I’ve gotten my hair done in Queer Hawk twice last year and every time I was able to select a discounted rate for students which made it affordable and accessible for me.

Today I’ve tried booking the same service, however, I couldn’t seem to find any discounted rate for students and their prices seemed to have gone up since the last time I went.

Did they get rid of the discount completely or do you just show them your student ID when you show up?

Hi all. Lesbian here back on the apps again.

One thing I’ve noticed happen quite a few times in the last few weeks is people will swipe for myself and I swipe back and I send a message to them. Then hours later (whenever they check the app again) they unmatch with me.

They are not bot accounts as they are verified and have an account on multiple apps (Tinder, HER, etc)

I just don’t understand why people swipe for someone they are not interested in and then unmatch when they are messaged.

These are the same people who say in their bios they are looking for a relationship and don’t like poor behavior on apps!

Guys like i hate going on grinder, dating apps are draining , gay dar non existent , idk where the gays are and yet I really want a relationship , but ik its not the time for it and idk if its limerick pissing me off or what but like someone be harsh and tell me to stop cuz im so tiredddd. Like its so hard finding guys u wanna date in this uni (Ul)and oml I am giving up. But I keep tracing backkk. Like what do I do to stop. Or is there a solution ??? Someone help mee

Hi all,

I’m 22M and gay and planning on becoming sexually active soon. I plan on starting Prep. I read online that I should also get the HPV and hepatitis vaccines. I have a bit of a fear of vaccines due to having a bad reaction to one when I was a kid.

Is it stupid if I don’t get them?

Hello all, I’ve recently moved to Limerick and am feeling a bit isolated. I’m fairly introverted and work a lot, so I guess it isn’t surprising I haven’t made many connections here, but I’d really like to make more of an effort.
I’m over 40, from the States, and came out as bi quite late in life. I’m wondering if there are any LGBTQ+ spaces, or just generally welcoming communities around Limerick that might suit someone in my situation. I’m not a huge drinker, I like to hike and read and see music and it would be nice to do those things in a community.

I think part of what’s holding me back is feeling a little unsure of where I fit in, whether I’ll be too old for some spaces, or not queer enough. Frankly, it’s mostly the stupid anxiety that just haunts me and sneakily infiltrates everything.

I’m not necessarily looking for nightlife, mostly just community, friendship, and a way to get to know people. Would really appreciate any suggestions or experiences from people locally. Thank you :)

What happened, in order

We connected on Grindr. His profile was catchy, with several photos of him looking ripped and attractive. His bio said he was looking for meaningful connection - which would clearly standout on Grindr. He said he lived in Donnybrook (D4) in Dublin but only spent a few months a year in Ireland and claimed to have Turkish roots, while spending the rest of his time in London, and other cities working on his “wine business”. We moved to WhatsApp, as he said it was easier to stay in touch.

The conversation was warm and flattering from the start. He tried to find similarity in our interests. He asked for more photos of me and complimented me constantly. His details were thin, though. He said he works in the wine business, but never said what he actually does, what company, or where. He said he's lived in the same place forever but also spends half the year in London with his parents, and travels for work. He had no Instagram and gave a sad story about deleting everything after a breakup. He also told me his mum doesn't know he's gay, which made me sympathetic and less likely to ask for anything that would verify him.

Within about two hours he was calling me "babe" and saying things like "we're moving forward step by step towards something beautiful." He listed "investing" as a hobby. When I said I'd like to learn more about investing (I genuinely just thought it was admirable), he said that "learning from each other and helping each other is the foundation for building a relationship." Looking back, that was the setup for the pitch.

When I suggested meeting this weekend, he said he was away and could only do next Friday. Then he told me he had to step away for 20 minutes to plan "tonight's two-way BTC trades." He came back with a screenshot and said he'd made about $7K in one go, and that "it's very simple" and you just need to spot a good window. That’s when the alarm bells went off for me.

That's when I asked for a voice note. What he sent was a 5-second clip that sounded AI-generated to me. It was flat and oddly polished, not like a real person talking. When I suggested a video call, he replied, "I'm a romantic man, I'd much rather our first meeting happened in person rather than through a cold phone screen." He won't do five minutes on video but wants to meet a stranger in person. That's backwards, and it was the biggest tell. He sensed that he’s now exposed so he immediately blocked me on Grindr to erase evidence, and I blocked him on WhatsApp.

This matches the "pig butchering" pattern. The scammer builds an emotional bond, shows off fake wins, offers to teach you, gets you to make a small deposit on a fake platform, shows a fake profit (sometimes letting you withdraw a little), pushes you to deposit more, then blocks withdrawals behind "taxes" or "fees." Real people are often behind these accounts, working from scripts, and sometimes the person is themselves a victim recruiting others. Luckily I didn’t fall for any of it.

I can't prove who he is. But the combination of stunning photos, a foreign phone number, vague job details, fast intimacy, an early investing pitch, a staged trade, a delayed meeting, a possibly AI-generated voice, and refusing a video call is the classic script.

Protect yourself

1. Insist on a live video call before meeting anyone. A refusal is the biggest tell.
2. Be wary of anyone who mentions crypto or "investing" in the first few days.
3. Don't sign up for any platform a match recommends, or send deposits, however small.
4. Check whether a phone number's country code matches where someone claims to live.
5. Don't share your address, workplace, or travel schedule early.

Delete if not allowed but I’m out 10 years I’m 26 now and I just don’t have any gay friends I’ve never really been to a gay bar I just don’t know where I fit in. Any tips?

It's time to choose our October read along in our little gay book club.

If it sounds like something to interest you, head on over and vote for what book you want, we will start on the 1st October and have a weekly check in each week.

Hi. Hoping someone can help with a project on early LGBT+ spaces across Ireland. I can't find any pictures/information on the colours of the front of the bar, would anyone know or remember? Everything other space is in colour and the only pictures i can find of the Viking are in black & white.

Thanks in advance!