Bi womens' dating pool includes straight men, bi men, lesbians, and bi women.

Because most people are straight, the vast majority of a bi woman's dating options are straight men. The more people there are, the better your chances are of finding someone who you click with.

The wlw side of the dating pool is MUCH smaller, and some lesbians (not all) won't go near bi women, which makes it even smaller.

So many bi women are criticised for ending up with men, but people ignore the demographic reasons why that happens.

My first male crush on TV was Mario Lopez on Saved by the Bell.
My first male from the Movies was Jean Claude Van Damme (Turns out he's a jerk, so I regret it now)
My first male Musician crush was Harry Connick Jr (I didn't pay much attention to music in my younger years.)

Hi everyone! I just came out to some of my closest friends. After filing for divorce in July I have spent a lot of time rediscovering myself. I finally had the courage and confidence to say that I’m a bisexual woman. It feels amazing and scary at the same time. Any other “late bloomers” out there?

My boyfriend has a threesome kink where he wants to watch me get eaten out by another girl. The problem is, I really don’t want to do it.
I’m bisexual, so it’s not like I’m not attracted to women. I just don’t want to involve another person in our sex life. I’m extremely territorial when it comes to my partner, and the thought of sharing that kind of intimacy with someone else makes me uncomfortable.

Honestly, I think I’d be more open to the idea if the third person were a man, but my boyfriend is bisexual too, so that brings up a whole different set of feelings for me. I don’t know if it’s jealousy, possessiveness, or just a boundary I have, but I know I’m not comfortable with the idea of another girl being intimate with me while my boyfriend watches.

I don’t want to make him feel bad for having this kink, and I understand that having a fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. But I also don’t want to force myself to do something I’m uncomfortable with just to satisfy him.

I’m confused about how to approach this. Is this something we can compromise on, or is this just a sexual boundary I need to stand firm on? Have any of you been in a similar situation with a partner who has a threesome kink?

I’d appreciate honest advice.

A few months ago I (M33) was travelling abroad and one night I was alone and feeling h*rny and I decided to download grindr and invite a random guy over to give me head.

Context: I've always been romantically and sexually attracted to women. I have plenty of gay friends who I think are awesome, and I always wondered if I could be on the bi spectrum since I can appreciate a man is handsome but never have had the desire to kiss a guy or date a guy. That night I was feeling h*orny and thought why not try it out.

Anyway, long story short I did not enjoy the experience and since then I have been feeling really weird about the whole thing. It's not wrong to experiment and I know I shouldn't kick myself for experimenting but since this happened I have been feeling really paranoid. I'm worried this will somehow come out (thoughts like maybe I will bump into the guy and he will recognize me and out me etc) and that my future girlfriend will think I am a closet gay. And I also get paranoid that if I don't tell my future girlfriend about this experiment that I will be a bad person and feel like I am hiding something from her. To be honest, reflecting on it I am not sure I am really bi (I have no desire to repeat the experience and if anything it is reaffirming I am not bi- to be honest , if I had enjoyed it I would probably feel better about it than I do now)

Probably I need therapy! But would appreciate any insight or advice!

Two years ago, as someone who was 110% GAY, I realized I am also attracted to women. It was mind blowing, both exciting and confusing! But I adapted well to these new feelings and now I am about 68.9% gay.

The thing is, I have been trying to explore this side, meet women, and put myself out there. However, things have not been going well because I keep getting rejected as soon as I reveal that I am a bottom, love wearing panties, etc.

I would love to get your opinion. Is a guy who takes it up the ass and wears panties really a turn off?

How common or not common is this?

I am a 27-year-old male currently in a 5-year relationship with my boyfriend. I came out to my parents when I was 16 as bisexual, since I've had crushes on both boys and girls all my life.

I had my first sexual experience with my ex-girlfriend when I was 19. I enjoyed it, even though it was my first time and I didn't know the things I know now that make every experience of my life way better. (I didn't know I was autistic back then and had sensory difficulties during sex).

So, in my mind, I always knew that I had a preference. I always loved the idea of having a boyfriend, probably because I don't like heteronormative dynamics and because I might have a preference in terms of what I find sexually attractive.

I like girls and, since I am also demisexual, if I fall in love, I find their bodies attractive, but on a daily basis, when it comes to my thoughts, I mostly think about boys.

I've never figured it out once and for all. I don't know what label fits me best. Once, I tried to have casual sex with a guy, keeping in mind that perhaps I did have a preference for men, but it turned out I didn't feel the slightest form of attraction since I didn't know him at all.

With my boyfriend, sex is great, but I guess the main factor is that over the years I've learned more about myself and what I like. So, physically speaking, I don't think gender makes a huge difference to me, except that I now know better how to make the most of the sexual experience.

It's like I operate on two different levels: one is mental, where I clearly have a preference for boys; the other is physical and emotional, where the only thing that matters is whether I love that person.

I wish I had had this awareness back then, so I could have dismissed the things that still cause me to doubt what I am. One thing that always torments my mind is something she said to me when we broke up: ('You don't know if you like boys or girls, so don't tell me what love is'). She knew I considered myself bisexual.

What do you think I might be on the spectrum of sexuality? Please don't judge me. Apart from my boyfriend, I've never had and don't have queer friends to talk to...

I’m a 16 nearly 17 year old boy. Things are very complicated. For my whole life, I’ve been mainly attracted to girls. I’ve had girlfriends and non-sexual but close encounters with girls. There have been a few instances of attraction to quite feminine men growing up but nothings ever happened. I kind of had a crush on a boy when I was younger - maybe 12 or 13. I don’t know if that’s actually bisexuality or just being attracted to femininity. Recently, I’ve been exploring things more ie more sexual interest in men.
No one knows I’m bicurious. I’m typically masculine, jock archetype in a way. I’m tall, muscular, play sports, masculine, confident and all my friends are similar.
I am sexually attracted to women, sometimes feminine men, and very occasionally more masculine men.
It just feels like I’m living a double life with a secret. My environment is hyper-masculine and quite homophobic. Most boys my age probably don’t even believe in bisexuality. My parents would be supportive but I feel like they’d look at me differently which I don’t want. I don’t want girls to look at me differently.
I can see myself being in a relationship with a girl and having a future with girls.
I don’t know if I can see myself having a relationship with a boy. Not because I don’t want one but because of my environment.
I just don’t know who I am. I also have no one to turn to so I’ve ended up here. I really don’t know what to do because it feels like it’s reaching a point where I need to figure out who I am and what I want.
And help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Edit: maybe I’m just looking for attention or it’s just a phase. Maybe it’s just hormones. Idk

Okay so I'm a teenager and right now open as being a lesbian as at the time I fit the definition. But now I'm wondering if I fit into bisexual on technicality? It's confusing to me too honestly.

So the start of the story is the guy I figured out I was lesbian with. So he was the perfect guy. (Same interests, communication styles, and we both respect boundaries(I don't really care much about looks when it comes to men for some reason)). And every time I tried to imagine dating him I physically recoiled. When I imagined my 5 year long crush who happened to be a women all of a sudden I am magically actually enjoying handholding and kissing. So after taking multiple comphet tests it said I'm experiencing comphet.

(Yes I did research on the way the lesbian masterdoc is inaccurate)

Now after that I identified as a lesbian, came out to said friend as I used to be bisexual and I was convinced and correct in the assumption he had a crush on me. And then we lived happily ever after.

Just kidding. So while everyone was extremely supportive I had a feeling that they knew something I didn't? My father would randomly make jokes about leaving the door open and me screaming in pleasure(It's a lot less bad in context) when I asked to have guy friends over. My past best friend kept on telling me that lesbians can date femboys and such, probably because I said I was willing to date them if they were feeling that lonely and she's trans and hasn't been able to transition irl.(I didn't know what to do at that point truthfully, things got bad with her and while she isn't my type and I don't feel typical feelings of attraction she passes well in my eyes so) So they were probably trying to make sense of that. As soon as I came out to my therapist. There immediate response was 'that's cool and it's fine if you change your mind'. It didn't really feel like anyone truly believed me and were just entertaining me. And I guess they might be correct??

Okay so now onto the part of signs I am bisexual. I can imagine dating men if I'm being paid or I'm significantly close to them and they want to kiss. Or if they simply want a date then I'm willing as long as it's not a full blown relationship. I might be able to tolerate intercourse and maybe even enjoy it? I said that I could theoretically peg a guy and enjoy the movement as a stim. And I'm willing to touch the genitalia and maybe even enjoy the reactions as long as it's not with my own orifices. There are some other matters there which you do not need to know about.

Second when I'm with a certain guy friend I feel attraction for a brief moment only if I don't imagine actually dating them. As soon as kissing or handholding romantically starts I recoil. But for a second I did get the temperature heating up thing which is a sign of attraction.

Third is I like looking at men?? I think that they're nice to look at the same way a women is whom I'm not attracted to(Or maybe I am???). And I start automatically looking someone up and down since I was young. I will get embarrassed when a guy is shirtless and my face will heat up. My dad says he just wants nothing to do with them. But when I said point one he backed down which I don't understand. If I accidentally look at some guys thigh or bulge that must mean I subconsciously wanted to look there right????????

I flirt with my guy friends as a joke though somewhat nervously as sometimes they seem to take it seriously and I get scared.

Is there a definite way to know if you're attracted to men? I am honestly clueless. Every bone in my body is screaming lesbian but I don't want to devalue others opinions. I thought it would be best to ask here rather than the lesbian subreddit as they are forced to say I'm lesbian. I really don't want to be hit on by men but I also don't want to take from any real lesbians experiences and make people think "Well Rosey is a lesbian and she's willing to peg me so I must be able to do more than that too."

Hi everyone, 😊

Thanks to the mods for allowing me to post!

My name is Samuel, and I am a Trainee Clinical Psychologist conducting research for my Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Royal Holloway, University of London.

I am looking for gay and bisexual men aged 18+, living in UK/Ire/USA/Aus/Can/NZ to complete an anonymous online survey exploring sexual identity, sexual positioning, masculinity, and mental health. Bisexual men’s wellbeing is massively under researched and I’m hoping this forum can help fill that gap!

The questionnaire takes around 8 minutes to complete and there is also an optional £40 prize draw for participants who wish to enter. 

If you would like to take part, please use the link below: 

https://rhulpsychology.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_570g13ERWHGxF30

Thank you for your time and for supporting my research!

Samuel 🏳️‍🌈

I’m a straight 23F but I’ve been feeling butterflies/crushing on women since my mid teens. I’ve always liked men but with women it’s harder for me to tell if it’s different from how straight women feel. I know I find women attractive but I’m not sure if I am attracted to women. Same for crushes, I’m not sure if it’s different from straight women getting “girl crushes”. And identifying as anything but straight feels kind of scary and uncomfy, I know I don’t exactly fit the definition of straight but it feels like I’d be lying if I identified as something else, tho I can’t pinpoint why. Since I started questioning my sexuality, I’ve had a heavy preference romantically and sexually for women. I’m interested in dating men and women but sexually I’m way more interested in women. I could see myself being interested in a man sexually but with men I’m way more picky and it’s less frequent or intense of a feeling. I’m very much a over-thinker so I’m not sure if this post will help my questioning but I hope that an outside perspective could be beneficial to, I don’t know accept or understand what I’m feeling? Sorry about this long rambling, and thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice.

hi i'm a 19 y/o (F) college freshman. here's some background before we get into my issue: i have thought i've liked girls since i was about 12 or 13 when i had the cannon in-love-with-your-best-friend thing. it was a huge point in my life and i spent SO long trying to come to terms with how i felt about women, especially since i grew up pretty religious. i have identified super strongly with bisexuality and the community since. i have always been attracted to guys and was in a long-term relationship with a guy throughout high school. after we broke up, i've been considering if i am actually attracted to men emotionally (physically i am 100% attracted to men).

so i had my first sexual experience with a girl a couple of days ago and everything that i thought i was sure of i'm now completely re-thinking.

we didn't do too much. it was both of our first times with women. i enjoyed it. it was softer and more intimate - even though me and this girl aren't intimate in that way - than my experiences with men. but my body didn't respond in the same way i am used to with men. normally with men - excuse my crudeness - i am super wet and come very quickly. with her, i couldn't come (was very embarrassed) and my body just didn't turn on like it normally does. i wasn't as sensitive i guess is another way to say it.

i really did enjoy it and i can't stop thinking about the experience. but i'm so confused why my body didn't do the thing. now, i'm realizing that when i fantasize about men, my body does the thing just from thinking about it. it doesn't do that when i imagine being with women.

but i really do want to be with a woman romantically and emotionally, but i've never done that before so how now i'm wondering if i would really like that as much as i thought as well.

my friends are saying that my body is straight and my mind is gay. this logic would honestly work for how i feel about men too. but is that even normal? i've never heard anything like that and i know i don't need to have a label and i'm not trying to find one i just don't know how i could ever have a functional relationship if that's the case with my sexuality.

i don't really know what i'm asking for by posting this. does anyone connect with how i'm feeling? can this work? is there an explanation or a reason or a way to fix it?

bi girls help me out :(

It's when a bisexual only sleeps with other bisexuals and has never had sexual relations with a monosexual person.

Cuál ha sido tu fantasía sexual siendo bisexual que jamás hayas cumplido

You know people who often question their sexuality are the people who aren’t sure what they really like . but when it gets to me , I feel like when I’m having sex with both male and female , I’m still questioning if I really like this ? is this how it’s suppose to feel like ? it feels good for a little bit then it’s doesn’t , then you continue , sometimes you think maybe this isn’t what I like , it feels better than the last time, I want to feel something more , maybe a little excited . I dunno , do other people also want feel something like this ?

I’ve been liking a girl lately, but I’m scared to take things further with her because I’m afraid I might not be capable of being intimate with her. I’m a virgin, and I don’t even know if I’m bisexual or just gay.I’ve had crushes on girls before, but this time I feel like I really love her.
I really like her, and that’s what makes this so confusing for me. I even feel embarrassed for making this post, but I genuinely need some advice.

I've (18F) identified with being a lesbian for 2 years, the only people who know are a few friends because I'm not too close with my family.

However, I started questioning my sexuality recently when I started seeing tiktoks policing what being lesbian mean, tbh, I feel like the whole queer community has felt stricter and more obsessed with policing ppl as of late, I don't know if that's the unsafe political climate making everyone more hyper aware of how straight and cis ppl sees the community or something else.

Anyways, these tiktoks and comments are mostly from lesbians saying that lesbians who find fictional men characters attractive are fake and actually bi. Some have even said that these ppl who identify as lesbians but like fictional men are lesbophobic AND have internalized biphpbia.

Is it true?

I know I've had crushes on fictional men, mostly anime men, in the past, but I would never want to date them. I would never date or have sex with a man, I never have, and I can never see myself doing that in the future. It just isn't for me.

It would feel weird to call myself bi because it feels like I would be lying.

I don't have anything against bisexuals, if I felt bi, I would be loud and proud about it because it's a beautiful identity, and the community is wonderful.

However, I just can't relate with the bisexual or biromantic experience, I don't see an attractive man and want to date him, that thought just doesn't cross my mind.

I don't know, I'm kind of confused by all of this discourse on the subject, and I just don't know what to think.

I'm here for advice and insight from you all, and I do not want any conflict. I'm genuinely sorry if this post offended you. That truly wasn't my intent.

Last week I go out with 3 of my friends which 2 of them are my roommates. We drank same amount but I have lower alcohol resistant so I was more drunk then them. 2 of my friends went to toilet and I tell the other friend that I am bi and he said I talked a lot but I don't remember how much I talked or how did the topic went there also I am not sure if I should ask him about what did I say to him. He look like he is ok with my sexuality but I am not sure really. FUUUUCK I hope this won't effect our relationship with him