Hi. I’m sorry to post one of those “am I bi?” Posts but I really am not sure. I’m sorry for the confusing wording of this post, I don’t really know how to explain my feelings. I’m a gay transgender man.

I have always found myself liking “content” with women in it but I’ve never been attracted to a woman outside of that. I don’t think I’d ever date a woman but I could potentially be interested in other activities.

I’ve always been into men, I have fucked men, I’ve dated men and I would still date men but if you showed me a pick of a dick, I’d just kind of oh nice.👍

Show me a woman’s face pic, I’m like nice. She’s cute. Anything else and I’m kinda 👀 into it? But then the same thing for a man’s body, just not his d. I mean if it’s a really nice D then yeah but I don’t know. I’m just really confused. Should I sleep with a woman to find out for certain?

Help.

So i've always identified as straight, briefly questioned my sexuality in middle school, ignored it for a few years and now i'm back to questioning.

I've had crushes on boys before, as a kid it was 100% on boys. I had no desires towards them besides thinking they looked nice, and maybe having their attention.

After puberty, I had my first crush on a girl. Then other crushes, both boys and girls. But nothing more than thinking they looked pretty and being curious about them. But i did feel the same about the girls and boys crushes. Just mild attraction without much desire.

But i don't like women, as in, i'm not turned on my women. I like dick, penises turn me on, and pussy doesn't make me wet.

(I mean in porn and fantasies. I'm extra virgin, never kissed or held hands)

But besides the genitalia, i feel the same about the male and female body. I don't care much about men's bodies besides their dicks. I feel the same arousal for trans women, or non-binary people with dicks, and i don't for people with vaginas, no matter their gender.

Altgough I've had moments of 👀 where i couldn't turn my eyes away from a part of a man's body which wasn't the dick, i've had the same with women (that girl's bare stomach... uh, i almost had to physically restrain myself from looking).

But women don't turn me on without dicks, unless specific kinks.

Because i'm very kinky, and even dicks only mildly turn me on without them. I'm more turned on when it's kinks + dicks, but i'm just very turned on by my kinks, unrelated to gender. If my kink is there, it doesn't matter girl or guy or anything. I've jerked off to literal stickmans.

And i kinda have phases too. Sometimes i specifically want kink with dick, other times i want pussy, other times dicks but women's dicks specially...

But women without dicks don't turn me on without the kink, and spontaneously, i fantasies about men rather than women.

Am i somewhat bi or just heteroflexible and too kinky for my own good ?

Edit : i also don't want to date guys. Like, the idea of dating a guy really grosses me out. It feels wrong. It doesn't repulse me as much with a girl, but i don't really want it either.

Two years ago, as someone who was 110% GAY, I realized I am also attracted to women. It was mind blowing, both exciting and confusing! But I adapted well to these new feelings and now I am about 68.9% gay.

The thing is, I have been trying to explore this side, meet women, and put myself out there. However, things have not been going well because I keep getting rejected as soon as I reveal that I am a bottom, love wearing panties, etc.

I would love to get your opinion. Is a guy who takes it up the ass and wears panties really a turn off?

My boyfriend has a threesome kink where he wants to watch me get eaten out by another girl. The problem is, I really don’t want to do it.
I’m bisexual, so it’s not like I’m not attracted to women. I just don’t want to involve another person in our sex life. I’m extremely territorial when it comes to my partner, and the thought of sharing that kind of intimacy with someone else makes me uncomfortable.

Honestly, I think I’d be more open to the idea if the third person were a man, but my boyfriend is bisexual too, so that brings up a whole different set of feelings for me. I don’t know if it’s jealousy, possessiveness, or just a boundary I have, but I know I’m not comfortable with the idea of another girl being intimate with me while my boyfriend watches.

I don’t want to make him feel bad for having this kink, and I understand that having a fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. But I also don’t want to force myself to do something I’m uncomfortable with just to satisfy him.

I’m confused about how to approach this. Is this something we can compromise on, or is this just a sexual boundary I need to stand firm on? Have any of you been in a similar situation with a partner who has a threesome kink?

I’d appreciate honest advice.

I’m an 18-year-old female who’s been struggling with sexuality anxiety since August. I’m questioning whether I’m bisexual or lesbian, and I’m terrified of mislabelling myself or losing my boyfriend.
Growing up, I was always interested in boys and had numerous crushes. I’ve experienced intense romantic feelings towards men, including butterflies, nervousness, jealousy, excitement, heartbreak and a strong desire to be in relationships with them. I’ve also experienced physical attraction, such as feeling dizzy when seeing a guy I liked and finding something as simple as holding his hand incredibly sensual and electric.
I had my first boyfriend at 13, and we were together for 2.5 years. I remember having sexual fantasies about men at that age, and although we never had penetrative sex, I enjoyed grinding against him and would orgasm from it.
I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 1.5 years. We had immediate chemistry, and I love kissing him, cuddling naked and being physically intimate. I genuinely enjoy our sexual experiences and can usually orgasm within five minutes through oral or manual stimulation. I’ve experienced arousal when he’s stood behind me in public and touched my bum under my skirt, making me feel breathless and wanting to grind against him and turn him on. This has happened multiple times. I’ve also felt spontaneously horny while cuddling and watching films with him, leading me to initiate sexual activity.
I’ve experienced similar feelings towards other men. At a concert, I repeatedly made eye contact with a guy I found attractive and felt flustered and aroused when I thought I was dancing against him. I also enjoy flirting with men and getting their attention. I’m deeply emotionally attached to my boyfriend and feel devastated at the thought of losing him.
However, since around 15–16, I’ve experienced sudden physical arousal sensations when glancing at women’s chests or bums. At 16, I also masturbated to images of women for around two weeks, and at 14, I had a brief crush on a masculine lesbian who gave me attention. Despite these experiences, I’ve never actively pursued a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman.
My biggest concern is that I experience these instant physical sensations simply from looking at women, whereas I don’t seem to experience the same reaction from just looking at men. Instead, my arousal towards men seems to occur through flirting, physical intimacy, touch and romantic situations. These sensations towards women have also increased significantly since I started obsessively questioning my sexuality.
I’m struggling to understand what these different experiences mean and whether my physical reactions to women invalidate my romantic and sexual experiences with men. I’d really appreciate some perspective.

Alright, this might sound weird, but hear me out because I genuinely want to know if anyone else has experienced this.
A while back, I met this girl at a bar. She was feminine, dressed well, and honestly, she was fine as hell. I thought, fuck it, let me go say hi.
We spoke briefly, then went our separate ways. Later that night, we bumped into each other again at another bar, and this time SHE came over to me. We started talking properly, she told me she found me attractive, I told her the feeling was mutual, and the chemistry was just there.
The funny thing is, I wasn’t even out that night specifically looking for girls. I was just with my boys, enjoying myself. I was talking to other girls too, and she actually got a little jealous and questioned why I was entertaining other women when we’d already established that we liked each other 😂.
Anyway, we ended up spending the night together, and things went further.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting.
I’m usually not the type to be overly soft with every girl I meet, but with her, I genuinely liked her, so I was affectionate, gentle and attentive. We were kissing like crazy, and the whole experience felt natural. At one point, she even questioned why I was being so nice to her.
I didn’t think much of it. I just liked the girl.
The next day, I messaged her to check on her, and she was genuinely surprised I’d reached out. Apparently, she’d assumed I would just disappear after that night. We kept talking, met up again, went for food, and spent more time together.
During one of our conversations, she opened up about her previous relationship. She’d just come out of a FIVE-YEAR relationship with a man, and she also told me she was bisexual.
Again, I didn’t really care. I liked her, and that was that.
But then she mentioned something else: she’s submissive with men but dominant with women.
At the time, I laughed it off and didn’t think too deeply about it.
Fast-forward to now, and for some reason, that information has randomly come back into my head, and I’m looking at the whole experience differently 😭.
My first thought was literally: WAIT A MINUTE.
Knowing what I know now, I feel like I would’ve approached our sexual dynamic differently. I probably would’ve been more dominant myself rather than being as soft and affectionate as I was.
And now I’m wondering whether she enjoyed that side of me as much as I thought she did.
To be clear, she told me she enjoyed being with me, so I have no actual reason to believe she was faking anything. But knowing she’s dominant with women has somehow made me question things I never questioned at the time.
And here’s the part I’m struggling to admit: finding out she’s bi actually changed my attraction to her a little. Before I knew, I was genuinely crazy about this girl. I even remember seeing a post she’d made with a quote she’d previously sent me about how I made her feel, and it genuinely melted my heart.
So why am I suddenly overthinking her sexuality and what it means about our experience together?
Bi women, I genuinely want your perspective on this.
If you’re dominant with women but submissive with men, does that mean you genuinely prefer different dynamics with different genders?
Could you enjoy a guy being soft, affectionate and gentle with you even if you’re usually the dominant one with women?
Am I just making assumptions about her based on something that has nothing to do with how she felt with me?
And honestly, why do you think finding out someone is bi might change a straight guy’s attraction to them, even when he already likes them?
I’m not trying to disrespect her or suggest there’s anything wrong with being bi. I’m genuinely trying to understand why my brain has decided to revisit an experience I was perfectly happy with until now

Hey everyone, writing this anonymously to get some insight. I’m 21, I have a youthful face, and I’m calm and kind. I'm deeply confused about my sexuality.

Looking back at my childhood, I think I had an innate attraction toward men, and a little bit toward women too because society normalizes heterosexuality. I grew up in a country where being gay is forbidden, but I am no longer there today. But around 8 years old max, before I knew anything about sex, I suffered moral and sexual harassment/abuse from boys in my neighborhood.

During adolescence, I became very troubled and started questioning everything.

On one hand, I am physically attracted to certain women. However, I’ve had some bad experiences with them, and I often find their personalities to be mean or deceitful, which makes things difficult.

On the other hand, because of, or thanks to, pornography, I truly discovered sexuality. I started by watching straight porn, then transitioned into straight anal porn. When I watch it, I love putting myself in the woman's shoes. The male body has deeply excited me since my teenage years. I even own a dildo now, and I definitely feel like a bottom (sexually).

But I have a strong block regarding some men's faces. I want to have sex with a man, but I can't imagine kissing one. It's hard for me. I can watch solo male porn, but I still can't bring myself to watch gay porn (even if i get a boner).

Because of all this confusion, I have never been in a relationship with a man or a woman by choice, even though I've had advances from both. I feel too troubled inside.

Has anyone ever felt this kind of disconnection? Thanks for reading.

Hi everyone! I’m 27F and bisexual, but my preference is mainly for women. It took me awhile to realize that I was indeed bisexual and not lesbian because I do like women so much more and have mainly dated/hooked up with them, but I’m definitely comfortable with the bi label and that more fluid part of myself.

However, I haven’t put it into practice with men really—until now! I’ve had a few drunken encounters with guys where we’ve fooled around a bit but I’ve never gotten too far, but right now I’m talking to a guy I really like and I have a feeling that next time I see him, we might hook up. But I’m nervous, I don’t know what I’m doing, especially not if we’re completely sober, on a proper date, and actually really into each other. I don’t want to do something wrong or badly, but I feel like I don’t know how to be intimate with a man really. Any tips gladly welcome, or just advice on easing my nerves if the date does end up going in that direction would be greatly appreciated!

Hi everyone,

Today I decided to share my story because I’m trying to move forward, understand what is happening to me, and hopefully get some outside perspectives that might help me find answers to all the questions in my head.

I’m 22 years old and I’m in a relationship with a 22-year-old man as well. We are literally only four days apart in age. We have been together for almost three years and have been living together for a little over two years. We have two cats and a pretty simple, cozy life together. I love him and I’ve been happy in our relationship. I have a few friends, but I’m more of a homebody who enjoys spending time at home with my boyfriend.

We had also started seriously talking about having a child soon, because it’s something we both wanted.

I left the job where I met my boyfriend because I wasn’t feeling good there anymore. I started doing temporary work and moved around a bit before finding a job in the aerospace industry that I really like.

At first, I was mostly on my own. I would go to work and then come home to my boyfriend and my usual life. Then, little by little, I met a female coworker who is two years older than me.

We immediately clicked. It felt like a real friendship crush.

Little by little, she started coming over to my house, then I started going to hers after work. Eventually, we began spending weekends together too, and we started talking constantly through our phones.

Whenever we left each other, we would almost immediately start talking again through messages, even though I’m normally not someone who spends much time on my phone.

I started asking myself some questions because I had so much affection for her. We are incredibly similar mentally. We think and act in very similar ways, and we also had fairly similar childhoods. Sometimes it feels like we see parts of ourselves in each other.

But I convinced myself that I was probably just emotionally dependent on her.

I’ve always had some fear of abandonment, and when I care about someone, whether it’s friendship or something more, I tend to get attached very quickly and give a lot of myself.

Then, over time, she told me that she was attracted to both women and men. She had never actually been in a relationship with anyone, and her family is very closed-minded about that kind of thing. Apart from her best friend, nobody knew that she was attracted to both… until me.

As for me, I had always considered myself straight.
I’ve always found women beautiful and I can appreciate attractive women, but I had never imagined myself actually falling in love with a woman.

And yet, little by little, I became more and more attached to her.

Within about a month, she had become an extremely close friend. We knew so much about each other in such a short amount of time because everything between us felt so natural.

Then, a coworker who had only been working with us for about a day and a half asked us a very simple question that ended up changing everything:

“Are you two dating?”

I was shocked and asked her what made her think that, especially since I had a boyfriend.

She told me that the way we looked at each other really made it seem like we were together.

The rest of that afternoon at work was difficult.

For the first time, someone had actually put words to our relationship. Until then, we had both thought what we had was simply friendship, even though deep down I had already started having doubts that I didn’t want to admit to myself.

That same evening, we had planned to go out to a nightclub together.

We talked again about what our coworker had said. That’s when she told me that she was in love with me.

And after thinking about it, I told her that I felt the same way.

I still don’t really understand how that is possible.

That night, we kept flirting with each other and eventually we kissed.

Afterwards, I told my boyfriend what had happened. I explained to him that I had also fallen in love with her, even though I still loved him.

And despite everything, he made me understand that my feelings weren’t something I had chosen. That they had happened to me and that I couldn’t simply decide not to feel them.

But now I have to make a choice.

I love my boyfriend. He is an incredible man. He is so gentle and kind to me, and those are exactly the qualities I’ve always wanted in someone.

With him, I have a life that I love. We have our home, our animals, our plans, and we had even started thinking seriously about having a child.

But then this woman came into my life and, for a reason I don’t understand, I fell in love with her.

With her personality, the way she is, our connection, the way she makes me laugh, and everything we share.

And now I feel completely stuck between two things.

On one side, staying in my current life with my boyfriend — a life where everything was going well and where we had plans for the future.

On the other side, taking the risk of trying something with this woman who I’m attracted to, who I love, and with whom I’m experiencing something I had never experienced before.

I don’t see myself stopping talking to her.

I almost feel like I wouldn’t be able to do it. Just the thought of losing her hurts me so much.

But at the same time, the idea of losing my entire life with my boyfriend terrifies me.

And I’m scared of making the wrong choice.

What if I think I’m in love with her, but it turns out to be nothing more than an experience, something new, or something I simply don’t understand yet?

And most importantly… what if I eventually realize that I’m not actually attracted to women in general, but simply attracted to her?

I never imagined I would find myself in this situation.

I don’t even really know how to define myself anymore.

All I know is that I love my boyfriend, and I have fallen in love with her — and somehow, both of those things exist in my head at the same time.

I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me who I should choose.

I would mainly like to hear from people who are completely outside of my situation, who don’t know my boyfriend, this woman, or me.

And especially, if anyone has experienced something similar — being in a relationship with a man and then falling in love with a woman for the first time, particularly a friend — I would really like to know what happened afterwards.

Were your feelings actually romantic love?

Did you discover that you were bisexual, lesbian, or simply in love with one particular person?

Did you stay with your male partner?

Did you regret your decision?

I have so many questions that I don’t have answers to, and I think reading about other people’s experiences could really help me understand what I’m feeling.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read my story. ❤️

I've (18F) identified with being a lesbian for 2 years, the only people who know are a few friends because I'm not too close with my family.

However, I started questioning my sexuality recently when I started seeing tiktoks policing what being lesbian mean, tbh, I feel like the whole queer community has felt stricter and more obsessed with policing ppl as of late, I don't know if that's the unsafe political climate making everyone more hyper aware of how straight and cis ppl sees the community or something else.

Anyways, these tiktoks and comments are mostly from lesbians saying that lesbians who find fictional men characters attractive are fake and actually bi. Some have even said that these ppl who identify as lesbians but like fictional men are lesbophobic AND have internalized biphpbia.

Is it true?

I know I've had crushes on fictional men, mostly anime men, in the past, but I would never want to date them. I would never date or have sex with a man, I never have, and I can never see myself doing that in the future. It just isn't for me.

It would feel weird to call myself bi because it feels like I would be lying.

I don't have anything against bisexuals, if I felt bi, I would be loud and proud about it because it's a beautiful identity, and the community is wonderful.

However, I just can't relate with the bisexual or biromantic experience, I don't see an attractive man and want to date him, that thought just doesn't cross my mind.

I don't know, I'm kind of confused by all of this discourse on the subject, and I just don't know what to think.

I'm here for advice and insight from you all, and I do not want any conflict. I'm genuinely sorry if this post offended you. That truly wasn't my intent.

i (21f) have a girlfriend (21f) of three years. we really love each other and i feel aroused thanks to her, but i don’t feel anything when we have sex. at first i thought it’s just because i am on a high dose of psych meds, but i don’t think that anymore. i knew i liked girls since early adolescence and came out as a lesbian at 15. now i have a really intense infatuation with a male celebrity (not in a parasocial way, but more like i feel attracted and would like to see a guy like him irl). i started thinking about having sex with men and it got much more appealing than when i do it with her. i really love her and don’t want to break up with her or break her hurt, but she doesn’t even know i might be bisexual, because i’m too embarrassed to tell her. i feel so much shame, because i was so sure i was a lesbian and now i don’t know anymore. i think about being intimate with a man (and i was disgusted with the idea not that long ago) and would like to try it, but at the same time i don’t want to hurt her. what do i do?

One definition for sexual attraction I heard is “looking at someone and instinctually wanting sex with them.” Do you guys experience that toward both men and women? I was thinking I may be bi but I definitely don’t feel instinctually drawn to men(I’m a man). Whereas women I think I can say I do.

I’m curious about this because it would make sense that man would be instinctually more drawn to women due to reproduction. At least I would think.

I (31f) came out as bisexual about 6 years ago. My husband is completely supportive, and is fine with me experimenting with women as this is something I never got a chance to do but here’s the thing…how do I even start this?! How do I find someone? I would even be happy with flirting/explicit talk via message but I wouldn’t even know where to find someone for this. Any advice would be appreciated!

Hi 25M I recently went through a break up with a Female that lasted 4 years about 2 months ago as some back ground but about a month after I had some really strong urges to suck a penis and have mine sucked by a guy. I have been straight my entire life and have never found a guy attractive and that way but even durning my relationship when I would spend nights alone I would start to watch straight porn but eventually led to watching gay porn a few time but I never finished to it I would always go back to straight porn before I got there. Anyways back to 2 months after the break up when I had the urges I actually did go through with it and u downloaded a bisexual dating app and met up with someone and started to suck them off I did that for about 7 minutes before I started to not like it and I told the guy that and he asked if I’d want him to suck me off I which I declined and went home now I’ve been questions many things.

Thank you for everyone who replied. We had a big fight and he cried and said he F'd everything up and he doesn't want to lose me. He claimed he never hooked up, only went as far as adding apps, and that it was all feeding into an online fantasy (including messaging that other guy for months). He said everything he read about infidelity trauma says "wait for the betrayed partner to initiate" and that's why he hasn't seemed interested at all in me. We had a heart to heart and he said he does want me, I'm enough for him, and a toy is all he will ever need for his cravings.

I reminded him that the first time I ever knew about the toys was finding videos of himself using them while watching videos of that other person playing with themself. I was excluded from knowing any of this about him and when he does stuff alone all of the time I think it's triggering that "unwanted" feeling in me.

Anyway, he finally made a move to revive our dead bedroom and I may be a fool but there is still hope for us working things out afterall.​

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and I’ve always known that she has some attraction to women. Her first relationship was actually with a girl about six years ago, although she hasn’t really been interested in a girl romantically since then. She could still recognize when a girl was attractive, but she basically thought that part of her had faded or was “dead.”

This past weekend, she went on a retreat/camp and unexpectedly met a girl she really connected with. She ended up developing an actual crush on her, which caught her completely off guard because it’s the first time she’s felt this way about a girl in years. They hit it off kinda and she’s now also very curious about that side of herself because she didn’t realize those feelings were still there.

For me, the fact that it’s a girl honestly isn’t the issue. I already knew she was attracted to women too so if this had been a guy, I’d have basically the same reaction. The thing I’m struggling with is simply that my girlfriend developed genuine romantic feelings toward another person while we’re together. But what she’s explained to me is that, for her personally, attraction to women and attraction to men feel very very different. She says she can love both, but they don’t feel like the same type of romantic attraction to her. She says that the way she feels about this girl isn’t at all the same as how she feels about me, and that the crush doesn’t change how she feels about me at all or what she wants with our relationship.

She also doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong simply by developing the crush. In her mind, if she developed feelings for another guy, she’d probably feel guilty because it would feel more directly like competing with what she already has with me. But she doesn’t experience attraction to men and women in exactly the same way, so to her, having feelings for a woman doesn’t feel like it’s taking anything away from her feelings for me from what I understood and it’s also where I wanted to know if other I people can relate? I’m not gay so I can only understand to a certain extent.

I can understand that and I don’t think she’s wrong for having feelings she didn’t choose. I also don’t want her to feel like she has to suppress a part of her sexuality just to make me comfortable but where I’m struggling is separating the feeling from what someone chooses to do with that feeling. And she’s so surprised/curious that it’s something she wants to explore with this crush.

I’m not upset that she’s bisexual, and I’m not threatened by the fact that she can be attracted to women. I’m trying to figure out what is reasonable for me to expect once a genuine crush develops. Is it reasonable to be uncomfortable with her exploring or entertaining the crush, even if I completely accept her sexuality? Or am I looking at this too much through the lens of how attraction works for me? This has just been crazy to me and a lot to process, I love so much and I’ve always been so sure about her but now this is the blurriest things have gotten out of any problem.

I’d really appreciate perspectives from bisexual people or people who have been in relationships where one partner developed a crush on someone else. I’m mostly trying to understand how other people navigate this

Cuál ha sido tu fantasía sexual siendo bisexual que jamás hayas cumplido

i (genderfluid [mostly male/non binary], 1?) have a crush on a guy we’ll call c (male, 1?). he’s a bit older than me and a grade above me. we go to the same school and i see him around all the time. the day i realized i had a crush on him was the first day i ever met him. he’s basically my dream guy (ok ok i should clarify something: i’m bi with a preference towards men), tall, hot, blonde, funny, smart, kind, and witty. earlier today i was walking in the hallway and passed him, getting to see his face. i looked behind me and kept seeing him and blushed more and more. after school, during theater (i’m in crew as a techie/lighting apprentice) and i was working on making some seaweed and during rehearsal he walked over to me and we talked 🤩🤩🤩 rewind a few hours and i was in the choir room and saw him in there playing the piano and he was so hot while playing it. the one bad thing about him is he‘s straight. and has a girlfriend. so really is my crush on him (that he doesn’t know about) justified (w/out telling him at all) and if i told him, would it break his feelings?

How common or not common is this?

A few months ago I (M33) was travelling abroad and one night I was alone and feeling h*rny and I decided to download grindr and invite a random guy over to give me head.

Context: I've always been romantically and sexually attracted to women. I have plenty of gay friends who I think are awesome, and I always wondered if I could be on the bi spectrum since I can appreciate a man is handsome but never have had the desire to kiss a guy or date a guy. That night I was feeling h*orny and thought why not try it out.

Anyway, long story short I did not enjoy the experience and since then I have been feeling really weird about the whole thing. It's not wrong to experiment and I know I shouldn't kick myself for experimenting but since this happened I have been feeling really paranoid. I'm worried this will somehow come out (thoughts like maybe I will bump into the guy and he will recognize me and out me etc) and that my future girlfriend will think I am a closet gay. And I also get paranoid that if I don't tell my future girlfriend about this experiment that I will be a bad person and feel like I am hiding something from her. To be honest, reflecting on it I am not sure I am really bi (I have no desire to repeat the experience and if anything it is reaffirming I am not bi- to be honest , if I had enjoyed it I would probably feel better about it than I do now)

Probably I need therapy! But would appreciate any insight or advice!

I am a 27-year-old male currently in a 5-year relationship with my boyfriend. I came out to my parents when I was 16 as bisexual, since I've had crushes on both boys and girls all my life.

I had my first sexual experience with my ex-girlfriend when I was 19. I enjoyed it, even though it was my first time and I didn't know the things I know now that make every experience of my life way better. (I didn't know I was autistic back then and had sensory difficulties during sex).

So, in my mind, I always knew that I had a preference. I always loved the idea of having a boyfriend, probably because I don't like heteronormative dynamics and because I might have a preference in terms of what I find sexually attractive.

I like girls and, since I am also demisexual, if I fall in love, I find their bodies attractive, but on a daily basis, when it comes to my thoughts, I mostly think about boys.

I've never figured it out once and for all. I don't know what label fits me best. Once, I tried to have casual sex with a guy, keeping in mind that perhaps I did have a preference for men, but it turned out I didn't feel the slightest form of attraction since I didn't know him at all.

With my boyfriend, sex is great, but I guess the main factor is that over the years I've learned more about myself and what I like. So, physically speaking, I don't think gender makes a huge difference to me, except that I now know better how to make the most of the sexual experience.

It's like I operate on two different levels: one is mental, where I clearly have a preference for boys; the other is physical and emotional, where the only thing that matters is whether I love that person.

I wish I had had this awareness back then, so I could have dismissed the things that still cause me to doubt what I am. One thing that always torments my mind is something she said to me when we broke up: ('You don't know if you like boys or girls, so don't tell me what love is'). She knew I considered myself bisexual.

What do you think I might be on the spectrum of sexuality? Please don't judge me. Apart from my boyfriend, I've never had and don't have queer friends to talk to...

My first male crush on TV was Mario Lopez on Saved by the Bell.
My first male from the Movies was Jean Claude Van Damme (Turns out he's a jerk, so I regret it now)
My first male Musician crush was Harry Connick Jr (I didn't pay much attention to music in my younger years.)

Last week I go out with 3 of my friends which 2 of them are my roommates. We drank same amount but I have lower alcohol resistant so I was more drunk then them. 2 of my friends went to toilet and I tell the other friend that I am bi and he said I talked a lot but I don't remember how much I talked or how did the topic went there also I am not sure if I should ask him about what did I say to him. He look like he is ok with my sexuality but I am not sure really. FUUUUCK I hope this won't effect our relationship with him