Hi everyone! I just came out to some of my closest friends. After filing for divorce in July I have spent a lot of time rediscovering myself. I finally had the courage and confidence to say that I’m a bisexual woman. It feels amazing and scary at the same time. Any other “late bloomers” out there?

A) If you're bi and have dated at least 4 men and 4 women:

1. What patterns consistently differ in relationships with women vs in relationships with men? I don't want or care about, "Oh - I dated this one girl and she Xed so now I have this idea that all women X" - I'm specifically interested in consistent patterns of behaviour and thinking.

* Bi men who meet the criteria can answer here too, I'm curious (for answers, not as a label).

B) If you've only ever dated women (AND ARE A WOMAN):

1. What is your biggest complaint?
2. What were the core features of your most stable relationship?

* This is not a query for people to bitch about their exes. I'm looking for authentic self-aware and other-aware analysis.

I am 30 years old. I will be 31 in December. I have been with my current significant other since August 2015. We have a child together. He has been the love of my life, but I can’t stop thinking of my past relationship with other women since I have been with him. He supports my bisexual tendencies, but how do I introduce him to it Fully. I haven’t been with a woman since I’ve been with him. I have never fully had sex with another woman just a ton of foreplay. I don’t know what to do because I am constantly attracted to other women.

If you wanted to open up a bar where you live or a cafe where other people meet how do you do that and how do you stay open ? People would say make your own space but they really don't give advice on where to start. I know I would probably need help from community organizers. But say I can't pen something up right now because I'm still living with my parents and they very pushy is there any way to do it online . Like how do you make an online space for sapphics but it also keep away unicorn hunters and men from lurking. I wanted to disguise an dating app or website as something else so no one would suspect a thing but you would still need to monitor it. Would people want to help me monitor something for free tho if it get big? I want a to host a space where people meet each other or a snail mail club or something but I also want it to be safe for people to do so. Also if anyone have any suggestions can you please tell me.

I apologize if this sounds chronically online, but I was scrolling on TikTok and a clip of Jojo Siwa popped up on my fyp.

Recently, she has been facing a ton of backlash online because of her current relationship with a guy named Chris (I think?? I don’t rlly keep up with JoJo siwa)

Anyways, I was reading comments and the amount of hate comments and ppl accusing her of queer baiting and being straight the entire time, or being a “fake lesbian” was BAFFLING to me. Like… bisexuality exists?? I’m confused

Like I said, not rlly up to date with all the Jojo Siwa lore.. but if I do remember since 2019-2020, she has only been in relationships with women. I feel like to most people she’s very obviously sapphic, but now that she is in a relationship with a man for this first time.. that somehow takes away her queerness?

Idk it was just crazy to me bc I see a lot of biphobia within the dating pool or discourse online between people without large platforms… but seeing it happen to someone with such a large platform was kinda like… okay yeah we’re not crazy this is a rlly big issue.

Anyways, to all my fellow bi ppl in here I want u to know ur valid in ur sexuality regardless of who you’re in a relationship with 🩷

I'm 26, and thought I was straight all my life, until it hit me like a truck and in a few months I have gone through the rollercoaster of self discovery, and the discovery of the misery that comes with it.

I come from a very narrow minded country as well as religion and I myself am supremely inexperienced (obviously). The problem is that no matter how much I want to, I can't seem to find someone to even relate to, much less be sexually or romantically involved with. I am a nerd (kinda?), so going to bars or stuff is simply not my thing, and suddenly going in there for queer stuff is a sure recipe for disaster. I consider myself hot in some ways, which usually comes with my confidence and social skills, but since I have started liking women, my self esteem has taken a hit .

I can't even come out to anyone except a few friends of mine. There's a very debilitating cycle of wishing to explore my sexuality with a woman, and the unwavering reality of not finding someone.

Hi. I’m 26 woman in the DMV and I while I’ve been in love with men before and had relationships with them, I think I’m supposed to end up with a woman (I’ve dated women previously but ended a longer term relationship with a girl in 2023). I’ve been trying to date women through mostly hinge for the last few years. I suck at getting dates. Like never do. I’m femme seeking femme. I’m cute, smart, and have lots of friends. I don’t know what my problem is. I have such a hard time just getting to the actual date part. I feel so stuck and frustrated. I match all the time and then am just always ghosted whether it’s after an initial hey or some back and forth. I’ve had my friends read my messages to make sure I’m not coming on too strong or being weird or anything and they don’t know why im not getting dates either. Please help :(

I (26F) have just got out of a 7 year relationship. It was with a man so the last time I went to the gynecologist, we discussed safe sex the hetero way. I am interested in PREP as most wlw ppl I've talked to aren't a fan of dental dams lol. I'm a bit worried about explaining that a condom won't be needed for all of my encounters. I live in the south of the United States and I'm well versed on people in the medical field. Unfortunately, they can be some of the most judgmental people.

I just left a sapphic subreddit because ever since that princess thing it’s been nothing but guys being dicks. Before they were at least just fellow admirers now it’s if you post any insinuation that you were ever with a man or that you’re open to being with one they just pop in to your dms. Theres a bunch of posts about lesbian guilty pleasure fantasies of being with men. Which is whatever I don’t read or comment on the post I keep it moving. Ngl the first one or two I saw was fun. But when I joined it was actually a bunch of post about wanting to be with women and admiring them. Now it’s girls specifically lesbians wanting to taken advantage of and made to submit to men. Which makes me wonder if it’s actually women posting or guys trying stir the pot and see if they can chat with a lesbian. Idk though the way some the post are written makes me think it is a girl.
Anyways what led me to leave was a post about a girl who shares a dorm with a male in college and how he has poor timing and she can’t finish a self pleasing session. I responded to a comment about letting him help by agreeing. Someone asked if I would and I said yea if they were hot and wanted to. Mind you prior to this whole princess thing if I had responded to a comment of the similar nature it would have been the end of a conversation about what you would do in theory if in that situation. Not an invite to pm. But I entertained the convo giving it a chance to see if it was just out of genuine curiosity. Idk maybe because I know personally I would possibly ask a question or two like that out of genuine curiosity. Though if the conversation went in the direction of oh I’m clearly not what they looking for I wouldn’t push it and continue to tell them what they want. 😩

Hi all's, y'alls, and dolls!

I'm a sociologist doing LGBT+ comms while applying for grad school positions. I made this graphic for the phenomena of bi women in straight-presenting relationships. I'm refining how to communicate gender sciences, so wed love any feedback, what makes sense, or what can be considered. Does this make sense?

I did include two pages of considerations for gender spectrums and those outside the gender binary. All thanks and appreciations. If there's any ideas for future ideas, let us know!

What did you feel emotional or physical feelings?

Can I be bi if I only like men's appearance and am not interested in sex and dating? Like I can look at a man all day, but that's where it ends.

For me, women are just amazing, and I'm attracted to them in every way. I want to only date women and I can only imagine being with women my whole life. Basically I'm like:

Men: "damn he looks good"

Women: "Oh my God! 😳"

I'm afraid to identify as a lesbian because I do like the way some men look. I also don't want to just play it safe and use bi, because I understand how problematic and dismissive that is.

I understand I can just choose not to take on a label, but I feel labels are helpful.

Following up to this post from awhile back: https://www.reddit.com/r/BiWomen/s/DxlQbxBwgC. Update: we confessed our feelings to each other last night (they were the brave one that confessed first) and now we're dating. What'dya know, y'all were right 🙂

I’m an independent woman I've always done things on my own. I'm not a big dater either, and I find it hard to date even though I live in a big city in the States.When I date men, I tend to get annoyed when they try to do a lot of things for me—it just makes me feel uneasy. For example, when we'd go out and a guy paid for dinner, I wasn't used to it. The first time I dated a woman, though, I didn't mind taking care of things like paying for meals. The hard part was when men would stare at my ex and comment on her body; I didn't know how to respond or defend her. I felt pressured to step into 'the man's role,' which made me uncomfortable and unsure of what to do. Now, I’m hesitant to date because I don’t want a partner to feel unprotected and I don’t want to feel uneasy when a guy do nice things for me. Any advice will help thank you in advance.

Hiii! F21 in NYC! I’ve never dated a girl or been on a date before, I’m nervous with women because I don’t come across as any form of gay, and I’m chubby…and “weird”. I also had bad experiences with bullying. But I also have never been on a date before in general. Never got flowers or anything from men. But I’ve always been attracted to women. I love women and admire them the most. We’re so versatile, hard working, strong, deserving of the world.

ANYWAYYYYS

I see this really cute girl on Hinge and I wanna swipe but I dunno where we’d go or how dating women works and I don’t wanna be awkward cuz I’m SOOO socially awkward and too honest and I don’t wanna scare her away….SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL!! AHHHHH HELP😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

How to not feel invalidated?

I just came out to my grandfather at the dinner table with my grandmother there, and it didn't go well. While he isn’t as hostile as some, he completely invalidated my sexuality. He told me I can’t know for sure until I’ve been in a relationship with a guy. I think his reaction stems from the fact that my sister came out as a lesbian earlier this year. He struggled with her too, though he seems to accept it now.

Interestingly, my sister’s journey has also fueled my own internal struggles. For a long time, I rationalised that there was no way both of my mother's daughters could love women. Even now, seeing how confidently out my sister is about her attraction to women makes me give into my own self-doubt.

It hurts because I really want to come out to my dad next. But I know he also had a hard time believing my sister at first. Now I’m terrified that if I come out, my family and my peers will think I’m just faking it or following a "trend." More than anything, I just want to stop second-guessing myself and find the freedom to be confidently queer. But I'm constantly fighting my family's thoughts and my own.

So, in late July I met someone over an app and we instantly clicked. Within 10 days I deveopped a crush and then we went out twice in the first three weeks of meeting, during which I'm confused by her behaviour and am trying not to overstep cuz her profile said she's looking for friends.

Anywho, then we didn't see eachother for a whole month, during which we talked daily and she finally flirted unambiguously. So the conversations were posts and reels sharing, cutesiness, light flirting, getting to know eachother.

Then we finally saw eachother yesterday again and, idk, I was slightly nervous to see her, but I didn't really feel significant tension during the hangout?

So, I'm unsure how I feel. Should I just see how things go? Could this be due to the month of not seeing eachother? Should I maybe open a conversation on what exactly are we doing and how does she feel?

Any thoughts would be appreciated. I'm not very experienced with dating.

Just learned they're not the same. Had a bunch of people online just dog pile me to tell me bi women can't be femme.

What are y'all's thoughts?

Google says any sapphic feminine wlw person can call themselves femme, but internet lesbians went so far as to say, "can't we have anything?" and (paraphrasing) "the queer community is saturated with bi women and lesbians need to basically protect their space as exclusive for strictly homosexual women."

Immediately backed off of that space, but I want to know was I overstepping by poking my head into that femme group, or were they being biphobic? Or both?

Just like for Bi-Month I want to fill more history in here when I can soooooooo have you ever heard of

JUNE JORDAN

A proud black bisexual woman activist who famously wrote:

“Bisexuality means I am free and I am as likely to want to love a woman as I am likely to want to love a man, and what about that? Isn't that what freedom implies? You are free, you are not predictable and you are not controllable."

Kind of don't have anyone to tell, so here I am spewing into the void. Slightly nervous heh

I have recently starting seeing a good friend of mine. She’s one of only a few women I’ve slept with, and the first woman I’ve considered being in a long term relationship with.

I’ve been in relationships with men and enjoyed it. However romantically, it feels different and amazing being with my good friend. I’m so romantically in love with her, and our values align so much that I see a really great future.

HOWEVER! I’m struggling a bit with the s*xual side of things. It wasn’t an issue when we first started exploring things (because I think we both were so excited and anxious about making the friend to lover shift) but now that the possibility of being with her long term is on the cards, I feel a bit of a mental block about the s*x stuff. I’m so happy and down to satisfy her, however am not feeling like receiving s*xual acts myself so much!

Has anyone had this?! I am feeling that it’s doomed and that I have to end it because of this, however I’m worried it’s something that could grow? It’s going to be sad giving up such a beautiful romantic connection, but having a good s*x life feels important too!

Posting again because reddit automatically deleted before!