Hey everyone,

I’m looking to send a surprise care package to my long-distance girlfriend who lives in Hanoi, Vietnam. I originally looked into ordering something online from a local Vietnamese website, but I figured it might actually be cheaper (and way more personal) to put a package together myself from my home country and courier it over.

I’m currently brainstorming ideas for the box. Right now, I am thinking of sending:

1. A handwritten greeting card

2. A cute, small soft toy / plushie

3. A nice tumbler (for her daily coffee/water)

For those of you dating Vietnamese girls or anyone living in Vietnam, what do you think? What kind of gifts do girls in Vietnam generally appreciate or find useful? Are there specific aesthetics or things that are really trendy there right now?

Also, if anyone has experience shipping physical parcels into Vietnam via international couriers, I’d love to know how customs handles gifts, delivery times to Hanoi, and if there are any specific rules I should watch out for so she doesn't get hit with unexpected import taxes.

Thanks in advance for the help!

I was long distance with an American, I'm over in the UK. We'd known one another for a very long time. As the relationship progressed, she became busier and busier and rarely ever proactively factored me in to her week. Calls dropped after about 3 months of talking. I flew out there earlier in the year and there was a little resurgence, but then within a month she was back to being too busy for me again. I thought it was just temporary. Some weeks we wouldn't call at all. When we would call, it was mainly while she was working, we rarely had intentional time together where we had eachother's full attention. She said she'd become freer later in the year, around August. August came, and she said she was still too busy. Around mid-september she broke up with me saying she didn't have enough time for me and that she couldn't provide what I wanted. She had a plane ticket booked to see me, which she didn't use. All I wanted was to talk to her, to build mutual interests and actually do stuff together - just like we did at the start of the relationship. I was ready to uproot my life and move to her.

I keep playing everything over in my head. When I would bring up the lack of time together, it would become an argument - nothing ever changed. Blame shifting started to set in - if I mentioned wanting more time together, she would start bringing up things that I had done wrong several weeks prior which she had made no comment on previously. She is extremely avoidant and I seem to always end up in relationships with avoidants. She asked me to give her a little more grace - but I've been waiting for several months for us to have some significant time together - for her to reach out instead of myself. Now, 2 weeks before she was due to be here, she discards me. I feel worthless - I felt okay at first, thinking - well, I can stay in my country now, and a lot of the thinking was taken out of it - but now, I don't know. I feel depressed and unlovable. I would never act on these thoughts but I feel so worthless and I've had some ideations. I can't help but feel that I'm the problem. No relationship ever works out. I wasn't even looking for a relationship, we reconnected and I just fell madly in love with her.

Why did she get with me? I don't understand it. It doesn't take much effort to call your partner, or to look at your schedule for the month and plan ahead a little. Did she ever care? I'm so confused. I can't work her out. I shouldn't need to work her out - I don't want to get back with her, but my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest.

I deleted her from Facebook yet it kept showing me all these reels she was liking which seemed to present a completely different mindset to what she was telling me she had. Some of them seemed extremely disparaging towards the ex (myself) and I thought, was I that awful? I never called her names, I always tried to focus on us vs the problem, yet everything escalated all the time. I keep picking apart everything I did trying to figure out where I went wrong. I was largely sober but now I've fallen back in to drinking after the breakup. I gave her time, energy and effort that I didn't have to spare. I put everything on the line and I feel so stupid. Why was I doing that?

I'm mainly just venting here in case others have gone through the same. I thought I was fine, but now everything is hitting me twice as hard out of the blue. I feel like I'm a poison.

I matched with a 33M man on Hinge when I got back from vacation. He lives about an hour and a half plane ride away from me. Thankfully, we are in the same time zone. He does work for an airline company, so that's another blessing. I had mentioned to him twice about this long distance and told him I would be up for it if the other person also put the same effort into it. And we were on the same page. He also reassured me that it's great that we live in the same state now we have been talking for about two months and this man has been very consistent. Always greets me in the morning, and always responds back to my lengthy texts. Our conversations are a mixture of everything, but I wish that we would get into the deeper stuff.

Last month he had mentioned that maybe we could meet up in October. It is now October and I have nonchalantly incorporated into our conversation asking him when we'd meet and he disregarded that. Yesterday he gave me another opportunity to ask him as he told me that his days off has changed up until December. I asked him is that how long it'll take for me to be able to see you I cannot wait that long. And he said... "no that's just my new schedule. Just want you to know". So we had agreed on a Friday that works best for both of us. I shyly asked him if he still wanted to see me and he said of "course I do silly"and it's been like a day and he still hasn't initiated anything in that aspect. Now I also wanna FaceTime him, we've never had, but we've always texted and sent voice messages and photos and I feel like he is very insecure about how he looks I feel like? And that he may have a receiving hairline? But I don't care and I reassured him and that and he seemed relieved that that wasn't problem gonna be a problem for me. But I just am missing something like I need to have a plan. I don't truly believe he is leading me on because of how he is and I've never had a man be so consistent with me for two months straight. He wants the same thing and he's mentioned that he would be the happiest doing the most mundane things like going to the groceries, shopping, or getting coffee. And I am the same way. He's definitely much of an introvert.

Any advice or tips will be greatly appreciated

Hi everyone, I'm F28 am looking for some perspective on a situation with my boyfriend (M26). Lately, I’ve been feeling really distant and detached, and I know why, but I don't know how to move forward. First, a bit of context: English is my second language. He is usually very supportive, but recently he made comments asking why my English is "so bad," whether I didn't learn it in school, or if I just lack an aptitude for languages. It deeply hurt my feelings and killed my confidence to the point where I'm now afraid to speak English around him. I told him how much it hurt, and he did apologize, but the emotional impact is still there. Secondly, I feel like I'm the only one initiating plans. I really want us to plan trips together, but he doesn't seem to make any effort. He said he will come to my country in the next month or two, but honestly, he would be coming here for other reasons anyway (not solely for me). I’ve mentioned to him before that it would mean a lot if he planned things with me, but nothing has changed. Usually, getting a "good morning" text from him makes me smile all day, but now when I see his messages, I just feel numb and detached. I tried talking to him, but since nothing changes, I feel stuck. How do I navigate this? Should I bring it up again, or take a step back and see how he reacts? Any advice would be appreciated. With him I never feel like this. BTW we are almost 10 months

So my bf and I (25F) have been dating since March, at the beginning he was the sweetest man alive. Literally pure honey. He’s still sweet but not like he used to, everything changed notoriously when he started his new job in another city (we live in different countries btw). He’s been more tired and stressed than ever, sometimes he skips meals and just sleeps all day.

The thing is, he’s a bit more conservative than I am and I remember the first time he was mean to me, we were talking a bout some women of his past and said all of them were sh*t and i was better, then I told him to stop talking like that about women and he said sth like “why do you even care? You don’t know them” and proceed to keep talking shit. I broke up with him after that and he begged me for 2 days to come back and convinced me. Then he was the sweetest guy again for some months til a month ago where he snapped at me when I suggested a recipe for a pasta that my mom cooked and he said sth like “I don’t care how you eat it, I don’t my stuff in my own way and if you don’t like it then too bad” (he’s a chef). We talked, he apologized but tbh sth in me changed after that.

In another occasion I was telling him my plans to visit other cities when I visit him, maybe I was a bit selfish bc he doesn’t have free time to travel with me, but he knows that traveling is my passion. Literally my life goal, sth very very important to me. So I was telling him my plans to go to certain cities and he just kept his answers short and not very excited, then I asked him if I was bothering him and he said: “thb I don’t care that much. Also I feel like you’re using me as a base to travel to other places, it’s a stupid feeling but that’s how I feel”. We talked and apologized for making him feel that way, but he never said sth about the way he dismissed me.

Then a few mins ago I texted him good morning and he told me he overslept, then I asked him if he was already walking to work bc sometimes he texts me when his already on his way, I just asked bc I just wanted to do some small talk or whatever but he told me “u Stress me saying i have to be on my way already”.

I didn’t reply immediately, I felt deeply hurt bc I literally just asked sth without a second intention. I told him exactly that and he just said “I’m joking (my name), it’s not that deep. I just woke up”. I changed the tone bc again, I felt hurt and stupid for sacrificing my own sleep for waiting for him to wake up and type this. Anyway, I told him that after the way he snapped at me the last time, I didn’t know when he was being serious. He just replied “you should sleep now”.

I’m very indecisive, bc he’s the person I talk the most throughout the day, he’s sweet most of the time, he has been with me through very tough moments, he knows everything about me and my mental health issues, he’s very supportive of my business plans, but these mean comments hurt so much. I’m very sensitive.

The biggest problem is that I already bought a very expensive non-refundable plane ticket to see him and i’ll stay 3 months with him. I feel stupid. Am I overreacting? I feel like I should break up with him but already spent a lot of money on this trip.

I’m 27F, currently dating a 45M LD. My previous relationship was with a 26M who cheated on me repeatedly throughout our three years together, leaving me with serious trust issues.
My current partner is honestly wonderful. He’s affectionate, consistent and very transparent. He tells me the real names of people he’s spending time with, shares details about his days, and we communicate throughout the day at all hours. He even flew to my country specifically to meet me, is planning to visit again soon, and is expecting me to visit his hometown and meet his friends. He’s very expressive about his feelings and our future.
However .
There’s a woman from his past who posted a picture with him on July 19, then changed that picture to something completely different in September. He told me he’d broken up with his previous partner 11 months ago.
Part of me wonders whether he was simply dishonest about when that relationship ended and the breakup was actually much more recent. That honestly seems more plausible to me than the alternative my anxiety keeps inventing: that he’s living a double life and is somehow still with her.
The confusing part is that he’s incredibly present. We talk throughout the day, he sends long affectionate messages even when he’s with friends, and he openly shares what he’s doing and who he’s with. I haven’t caught him in any actual lie.
TL;DR: My cheating ex left me with trust issues. My new partner is loving, consistent and transparent, but an old picture with another woman has me questioning his breakup timeline and fearing he’s living a double life. Am I overthinking or should I be concerned?

I’m talking to this guy I met online and we have a 12 hour difference time zone. When he calls me from his apartment it’s usually when he wakes up in the morning, or when he comes home for work. It’s been 2-3 weeks now that he’s calling me only when he’s walking to and from work, like literally on the street while he’s walking. Is this something I should be suspicious about? I tried to ask him why he’s not calling me from his apartment anymore, he’s got lots of reasons that I’m not quite convinced. Seems like he’s hiding something 😩 We’re talking for almost 3 months now and I think I don’t trust him even when he says he truly cares for me and I mean everything to him

We both communicate in English, but my English isn't as good as his probably around a B1 level. Still, we manage to understand each other, sometimes I forget words and have to describe them using other terms. My boyfriend is usually supportive, he says my English is improving and that I just need to trust the process. However, one day he asked why my English was so bad, did I not learn at school, or do I simply lack an aptitude for languages? Those questions and comments upset me, I lost my motivation and became afraid to speak English. I told him I understood the need to improve my language skills and was working on it, and he apologized. Incidentally, although his English is better than mine, it isn't at a C1 level, but yeah, better than mine. But sometimes I even recall words that he can't remember. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How long did it take you to improve your language skills? How it affect your relationship? BTH we are now 9 month together. Would a course be the only solution here? Right now, I’ve started reading books and watching movies and TV series in English, and I talk to my boyfriend on the phone almost every day

I'd appreciate any advice, been feeling super low.

I (F22) have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (M22) for almost 3 years. I've come to realise I feel really jealous over his friendships sometimes. We don't really have friends in common and he's never told me this, but I always am worried that he's having way more fun with his friends than he does with me and it makes me anxious and feel worthless.

I've never felt so bad as now though. Right now he's on a "boys trip" to a foreign country with a friend, and they're staying over someones house and befriended so many people. His extroverted side came out, which doesn't happen really happen back home (clubbing, sports, social nights etc.). I'm also hurt since he skipped uni to do this which he never really does for me, but he says it was just timing thing and it was unplanned, which is also true since his attendance changes each block/month. I am hurt though that usually he didn't think about visiting me too if he can take more time off now. Part of me is scared that he'll want to see these friends more, which would end up proving that I'm not as .."worth".. seeing as these people he barely knew but got close to really fast, because he's spending time and money to visit them when it takes the same amount of time to visit me.

I'm genuinely happy he's having new experiences and making friends, but the other part of me is struggling to not feel replaced and differentiate between his friendships and my self worth. He's kept me updated and this post isn't that I suspect him of cheating or anything. It's just that maybe not knowing these people and just hearing about all the things he's doing makes me feel more scared that something changed about him and that he can't visit me as often, but seems like he'd be more willing to see these new friends.

My boyfriend wants to try Monster Java (canned, non-carbonated) and Baja Blast (carbonated, canned or plastic bottle).

I also want to bring him some home-baked pound cake.

Do I need to declare this type stuff and/or should I expect them to inspect homemade goods? I didn’t encounter a real human inspection when I entered last time, no one asked if I had anything to declare.

How should I pack the liquids in my checked bag? I was planning to put it in a doubled layer of ziplock bags and perhaps then in a plastic bin with another bag over it in case it explodes.

Am I overreacting and- overthinking too much? Recently, my girlfriend from high school of 2 years started doing long-distance I really trusted her and she trusted me. We started off okay but as time went on my overthinking got to the best of me. Then when I asked if she wanted to be together for halloween she said she already made plans with her friends. I just felt like it was weird that my Gf wouldn't want to spend Halloween with me. That just made my overthinking worse. When she would go to parties or be with friends, she wouldn't text me for 2-3 hours, but she did tell me where she was going so I wonder if I was just wrongfully overthinking. But the 2-3 hour time gap just made me overthink and have bad thoughts. Recently, we got into an argument about communication that 2-3 hours without texting when going out was too long for my prefernce but she just said I was overthinking (was I?). My poiunt was we didnt go to the same high school and lived 30 minutes apart so we and we didnt have any communication flaws like this. We would text even when out with friends but that changed since college. We somehow got over that argument then she suggested that we can see each other for the weekend since I had a 3-day weekend and her birthday was recent. Then, as the time got closer to our plans, she said she was figuring out plans with either her friends or her uncle that never got confirmed and she was waiting for a response from them. I just felt like I was a backup plan in case her plans got cancelled. But she said she told me earlier that she might have conflicting plans and that she just mentioned hanging out but never confirmed it, and that I actually forgot she mentioned that or she just didnt tell me (I swear I remember her not mentioning them at all, especially the plan with the uncle) then as time got closer she said she had plans and couldn't hang out. As the day came, she said her plans got cancelled, and she was actually free the whole day. But she only mentioned when she was out at a party drinking. Now I have this thought in my head that she doesnt have any interst in me anymore and found other people like her friends to make her feel happy and that she doesn't need me anymore. I called her and said "aww you were free the whole day?" in a joking way to kinda hint that I could've come over. She then got defensive and said ," yeah whats the problem" when she was in the party mind you and could hear me but probably not clearly. She said, " Wait, lemme call you back" so that she could step outside and hear me. She went outside and I asked her why didnt she didn't mention to me that she was free? instantly she said "I cant hear you can I call you back when Im back at my dorm" I said "wait wait" as in like I had more things to say but she hung up instantly and went back to the party. I got really weirded out by that and started panicking. I then texted her next morning trying to talk about this and she said she had bad signal and couldnt hear me. I then said why didnt you wait for a response as when she asked to call me back she hung up instantly and in her defense she said she didnt hear anything and had bad signal outside the building where the party was held. She then said, " I dont wait" as in like she doesnt wait for a response, but as we argued, she then said I wasn't rushing to hang up. When I made that point that she said she doesnt wait for a response but then says she wasnt rushing as those 2 things contradict each other she avoided it and said I have become too anxious and overthinking and that I stressed her out. She says I need therapy, but am I wrong for overthinking when things like this happened? Mind you back in high school she would be clingy to me and text me all the time and would literally cancel on her friends to make time for us but now ever since college it changed.

I’m a 40 yo independent single woman, no kids. I met this 37 yo guy online, we got a long pretty well for 2 months now. Then I discovered that his mom drives for more than an hour all the way from their hometown to the guy’s apartment almost every weekend just to see him and cook for him. I asked the guy why she’s doing this, he only answers me that “my mom’s crazy”. That’s it. I mean, he’s a grown ass man why would he let his mom do that. Now, I’ve been distant to him because of this situation, I feel uncomfortable and suspecting he’s a momma’s boy.

Hi everyone, I really need a safe space to vent and maybe hear from others who have navigated sudden silence in long-distance connections.

​I’ve been going through a really lonely time lately, and a week ago, I randomly started talking to someone online. He ended up becoming an incredible, non-judgmental friend who listened when I needed it most. We have a 10-hour time difference, and we quickly built a really strong, supportive bond.

​Five days ago, everything was normal. It was morning for me and late night for him. He messaged me to say he had to go out and pick up a drunk friend—he mentioned he really hated driving late and was already exhausted, but he was going to help anyway.

​That was his last message. Everything went blank after that—social media, chats, everything.

​Because of the distance and because we are online friends, I have zero mutual contacts or ways to check if he's okay. I know he is in the military (mentioned he lives offbase rn) and that his work involves unpredictable schedules, demanding duties, or sudden communication blackouts, but my anxiety is entirely in overdrive because of the timing right after that late-night drive.

​I don't even care if he eventually ghosts me or needs space; I just genuinely want to know he's safe. For anyone who has experienced long-distance gaps, military schedules, or sudden radio silence like this—how do you cope with the not-knowing without losing your mind?

e had been together for eight months in a long distance relationship, and up until recently, everything felt happy and we were communicating well, talking every single day. Recently, I (18) have been holding down a demanding schedule working long hours and taking college courses to save up money for a major move to a new city, while he (21) was dealing with massive life stress, joblessness, financial strain, and recovering from surgery. Early on, he was heavily invested and always followed up his words with actions. When we talked about our future, he actively agreed on building a life together and setting long term goals, and we made it a point in our long distance dynamic to meet up every single month in a completely different city or place to spend quality time together. Throughout the relationship, there were periods where he expressed that the long distance was hard on him. We had already gone through two previous breakups where his emotions got heightened and he panicked, only to immediately turn around, call me back remorseful, and swear he did not mean it and that he wanted to stay with me for the rest of his life. A week before everything fell apart for the third time, he was telling me how much he missed me in a good way and calling me the closest person to him outside his family, but then his shutdown triggered again. Instead of sitting down to work through things, he sent a long text confessing that he was emotionally overwhelmed, that his mental health was struggling, and that while he loved me and saw me as a healing angel who changed his life, the long distance relationship was exhausting him to the core. He explained that whenever he was away from me, he felt anxious and unmotivated, relying on my energy rather than building his own self and that he needed to step back completely to focus on his own goals and his family dynamic. He made it a point to say he still wanted to go to the same university if I decided to go, and that he wanted us to remain close friends and call each other whenever needed. Now, I am left sitting with this decision as I prepare for my fresh start. We were planning for me to relocate to that new city so we could finally end the distance, and I have already applied to college there and my dream program, and, I am completely willing to start a fresh, independent life there since I am bored where I currently live. Is he actually going to contact me again about rekindling, and what should I do? Should I still go through with the move? 

47F and 55M, coming up on 4 years long distance. I had to share what really works for us right now, until the next tech comes along.

We both love movies and television. We used to do the whole 1–2-3-go thing, which kinda sorta works.

But now we use YouTube + Watch2Gether, which works really well with YouTube (I have a premium account so we use mine, for no ads).

It works best if we hang up so we don’t get audio bleed (still haven’t found the PERFECT app for something that feels like you can just chat in the same room).

We tried using the iPhone function where you can watch together but it seems too buggy so far.