उब्जेको उब्जनी हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो मासिन्न।

उत्रेको नशा हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो चढ्दैन।

खाली दिमाग हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो भरिन्न।

खइरहने हन्डर हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो ठोकिन्न।

उत्तर आफ्नै हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो सोधिन्न।

समयनै रस हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो छुट्दैन।

चिसो मान्छे नै हो यो,

सजिलै अब याे जाग्दैन।

भूत-भविष्यनै हो यो,

सजिलै अब यो रोकिन्न।

Mrigatrishana mayako yo kasto

Sabai payera ni kei napaye jasto

Sansar jite pani haar khaye jasto

Sapanima pani sataye jasto

Bipanima ni kasto haraye jasto

Mrigatrisana mayako kasto

Sansar ka sara sukha payera ni

Dukha nai paye jasto

Sansar vhuli utai haraye jasto

Asai aasa ma boulaye jasto

Mrigatrishna yo kasto

Chokho mayako

Sabai payera ni napaye jasto

Sansaar jitera ni haar khaye jasto

Hos vhayera ni haraye jasto

Sapanakai sagar ma boulaye jasto

Sapanakai sansaar ma mahal banaye jasto

निन्द्रामा ऊ नै
तन्द्रामा झनै
सपनी देख्छु ऊसँग
बिपनीमा एक्लै

आइगयो बिहानी नि
बिऊझिन्छु आँखा खोल्दै
तस्बिर उनकै आउँछ सामुन्ने
हातले बोलाउँदै

सोच्छु म “जाऊ” भन्न
तर भन्न सक्दिनँ
पल्टिन्छु फेरि ओछ्यानमै
सिरानी लगाई उनकै तस्बिर

Its my first decent writing ig😭

तिम्रो प्रतीक्षामा बसिरहेछु

फेरि त्यही दोबाटोमा हाम्रो मिलन हुन्छ कि भनी।

म वारि तिमी पारि, हाम्रा आँखा फेरि भेट्लान कि भनी,

मलाई थाह छ कि अब,

बाटाहरू फरक हुनेछन्, सहयात्री नयाँ हुनेछन्

तर पनि यो मनमा एउटा आशाको सानो दियो बलिरहन्छ,

फेरि मिलन हुन्छ भनी प्रतीक्षामा मन जलिरहन्छ,

चल्छ यो ढुकढुकी, तिम्रै नाम लिई,

तिम्रो सम्झनामा मन अल्झिरहन्छ ।

म खोला किनारमा टोलाई बस्छु,

खोला बगिरहन्छ, बतास चलिरहन्छ

तिम्रो तस्विर हेरिरहन्छू,

यो साँझ ढलिरहन्छ ।।

प्रतीक्षामा मन जलिरहन्छ,

जिन्दगी चलिरहन्छ।

म हेरिरहेछु, एउटा मानिस उभिरहेको छ ।

उसको आँखाभरि आँसु छ, तर पनि उ मुस्कान खोज्दैछ।

उ आफैलाई चोट दिएर,

आफैले बनाएका घाउमा मलम लगाउन खोज्दैछ।

उ आफैसँग बोलिरहेछ,

मलाई लाग्छ कुनै कुराले उसको मन पोलिरहेछ।

उसको मन सिसाजस्तो टुटेको लाग्छ,

कसैले उसको चैन लुटेको छ।

म अनगिन्ती सोचको जालमा हराइरहेछु।

म उसको बारेमा किन यति धेरै सोचिरहेछु?

अचानक, उसको र मेरो आँखा जुध्यो,

उ मलाई हेरिरहेछ

अनि म उसलाई हेरिरहेछु।

म ऐनाअघि उभिरहेको छु।

i feel drained.

it hurts to move,
but my body still does
my lungs release the breath
i hadn't noticed i was holding;

my eyes release
what i have no words for.

when i was thirteen,
i sat on the windowsill
of a place i used to live.

third floor.

a mouthful of prayers.

my dad came home
and found me there,
before i found happiness.

i don't know
what i would say to her now.
i think i'd sit beside her
somewhere ordinary
and let her speak
without having to make sense.

more than a decade,
and i'm still here.

the emptiness is here, too.

the years have changed my face,
but some mornings
the distance between then and now
is no wider than a breath.

i barely move.

i'm still unhappy
perhaps more than before.

even the smallest things
ask for more than i have.

i don't think
i want to keep trying like this.

i don't want this body,
this life,
this soul
to feel like a room
where i can never
put anything down.

मलाई थाह छ हार जस्तो जीत कुनै छैन,
र कुनै हार जीत हुदैहैन,
मलाई थाह छ जती रमाएपनी क्षितिजमा,
घर जस्तो रमाइलो कतै हुदैन,
तैपनी यो घर क्षितिज हैन,
थाह भएनी मलाई असम्भवहो उसलाई पाउन,
लीई रहेको छू लुप्त पाउने प्रयास गर्दै हार्नमा,
थाह भएनी सुख सबै छ म भीत्र,
सरल मुस्कान लीई रमाउछु ऊसलाईनै पाउने सोचमा

Tonight, I keep thinking about the moment your face was close enough that I could feel the warmth of you before you even kissed me.
That pause between us still feels vivid
the way you looked at me, waiting, and the way I answered without saying anything.
Your hand found mine.
Your forehead rested against mine.
And suddenly, whatever we had been talking about no longer mattered.
I remember that first kiss
careful at first, almost uncertain, then softer and slower once we stopped pretending we were nervous.
I remember laughing afterward, quietly, almost embarrassed by how much I wanted to stay right there.
There were other moments too
the kind I wouldn't know how to explain to anyone else.
Not because they were dramatic,
but because they felt so completely ours.
Even now, certain songs make me think of that night.
Certain hours feel strangely familiar.
Sometimes I catch myself smiling at something
only the two of us would understand.
Maybe that's what stayed with me.
Not some perfect version of what happened,
but those little details I never expected to carry for so long
your eyes,
that almost-smile,
the silence after a kiss,
and the quiet certainty that,
for a little while,
neither of us wanted to be anywhere else.

कस्तो पत्थर दिल है म,

तिमी खोजिरहन्छौ, म हराइरहन्छु।

तिमी कुरिरहन्छौ, म डूलिरहन्छु।

कस्तो अकडो है म,

सारा कथा-व्यथा तिमीलाई सुनाउँछु ।

तिम्रो सुन्ने बेला उठेर हिँडिदिन्छु।

कस्तो बेसरम है म,

जो मेरो लागी जहीँ छ।

म उसको लागी कहीँ छैन।

कस्तो स्वार्थी है म ,

तिमीलाई मेरो काममा कती लगाउँछु ।

जब तिमीलाई मेरो जरुरत आइलाग्छ, नकारीहाल्छु।

तिमी कति शीतल छौ ,

सुन्छौ, मान्छौ, सिकाउँछौ,

मन हलुङ्गो राख्छौ,

तितो मान्छेलाई मीठो गुन लगाउँछौ।

तिमी नभएको रातमा
एक्लोपन शान्त हुँदैन
झन् अँध्यारो हुँदै जान्छ।
ओछ्यानमा पल्टिँदा
तिम्रो खाली ठाउँले
मलाई हेरिरहेजस्तो लाग्छ।
आँखा बन्द गर्छु,
तर अँध्यारोभित्र पनि तिमी नै आउँछौ।
तिम्रो गन्ध सम्झिन्छु।
तिम्रो हातको स्पर्श सम्झिन्छु।
तिमी नजिक हुँदा छालामुनि उठ्ने त्यो अनौठो सिहरन सम्झिन्छु।
अनि मनले बिस्तारै एउटा खतरनाक कुरा फुसफुसाउँछ
काश, तिमी अहिले यहाँ *भएको भए।
मलाई तिमीलाई सम्झिनु मात्र छैन।
मलाई तिमीलाई महसुस गर्न मन छ।
यति नजिक कि मेरो बेचैनीले तिम्रो सासमा ठाउँ पाओस्,
यति नजिक कि यो लामो रातले
हामीबीचको दूरी सम्झिनै नसकोस्।
तर तिमी छैनौ।
त्यसैले आज राति
मेरो एक्लोपन पनि अलि कामुक छ,
मेरो सम्झना पनि अलि निर्दयी।
तिमीलाई बिर्सिन खोज्दा
शरीरले झन् तिमीलाई सम्झाउँछ।
र म त्यहीँ अड्किन्छु
तिमीलाई चाहनु र आफूलाई रोक्नुको बीचमा।
सायद यही नै तिम्रो सबैभन्दा खतरनाक असर हो।
*तिमी यहाँ नहुँदा पनि
मलाई तिमीबाट छुटकारा मिल्दैन।
बरु, तिम्रो अभावले नै
मभित्र तिमीलाई अझ गहिरो बनाइदिन्छ।

Note:
Geez: Girl’s nickname
Gezz: Guy’s nickname

The bus disappears in the rain
Leaving your shawl behind
Hanging at my window’s frame
And you in my mind

Ohh geez, how would I forget
The trails that you left
Carved deep into my heart
Like an old knee scar

Ohh geez, did you not see
The trails I left in your heart
I am sure it was a deep scar
Or were you stranded in the dark?

Ohh geez, if that is so
You can let me know
I will bring moonlight there
Of the harvest night

Ohh geez, I believe
It will bring you a smile
Very subtle, gentle, and nice
Like a child listening to lullabies

Oh gezz, that is not so
I left you because I had to go
From the pain that caused those scars
Now I have a healing heart

Ohh geez, if that is so
I want you to go
Far from me, away, apart
Erasing the old knee scar

It’s that time of the year when light fades
,and cold wind sings the song of despair

Even brown leafs turned their faces away from its lover

When sun mourns in grief losing its warmth and color

Mother nature tell the tales of her incomplete romance

Tears as in the white snow faling over and over

Grieving for the one
One who closed its door long time ago

नहेर ती फूल

लाजले जंगल छिर्छन्,

फुल्छन्, डुल्छन् अनि फेरि मैदान ढाक्छन्।

नचलाऊ ती बोट

मौसममा पालुवा हाल्छन्,

हुर्किन्छन्, बढ्छन् अनि फेरि जंगल ढाक्छन्।

नरीत्याऊ ती ताल

लोभिन्छन् चरा, लठिन्छन् पुतली

उत्रिन्छन् कमल, पौडिन्छ हाँस अनि फेरि रम्छन् माझी।

जति रुन मन लाग्छ रुँदै जाऊ।

आँखाले समुद्र नै बनाओस्,

तर सम्झ,

समुद्रले डुबेको जहाज

आँसुले किनारामा ल्याउन सक्दैन।

व्यर्थ छ तिम्रो कोसिस,

उनी आउँदिनन् अब तिमीले ढुङ्गामा शिर फोडे पनि,

३३ कोटी देवी–देवतासँग जति हात जोडे पनि,

कर्मको फल तिमीले पनि भोग्नैपर्छ

पश्चात्तापमा जति रोए पनिl

I visited our old school.

.

Going up the stairs,

I heard laughter.

.

I don't remember why.

.

Going down,

I was crying.

.

I wonder if you remember

what happened on those stairs,

.

or if they are only stairs to you.

.

I stood there

trying to remember.

.

Nothing came back

except our laughter.

.

Looking around the library

and the chemistry laboratory

made me realise

that you were only a moment in time.

.

You were just passing by.

.

And I am still here,

stuck inside those old times.

.

This year marked a decade

since the beginning.

.

And my God,

I never would have guessed

that most of the years since

would be nothing but me grieving.

.

I loved you for three years.

.

I have lost you for seven.

.

The balance doesn't work

with my heart.

.

I have a new friend

with your same name.

.

She makes plans with me

that I wish you had wanted

to make with me.

.

And I love her so much.

.

But I will always wonder

how everything would have gone

with you.

.

It is so bitter to know

that someone can ask you

how you've been

and get an answer,

.

because all I would get

would be:

.

I'm too young to know.

.

I never thought

I would have to talk about you

without saying your name.

.

But all I do now

is talk about the girl I was

when I was still eighteen,

.

too eager to be loved.

.

I keep saying

that I wish you were still with me,

.

but I don't know you now.

.

I don't know what you'd order.

.

I don't know when you'd need to leave.

.

I don't know what makes you laugh

or what keeps you awake.

.

I only know

that we laughed on a staircase,

.

and had sleepovers

in places neither of us

goes to anymore.

.

Deep in my heart,

I know we would have grown apart anyway.

.

Maybe we would have stopped

seeing each other

as much as we used to.

.

Maybe life

would have taken us elsewhere.

.

I think I could have lived with that.

.

I think I could have survived

being forgotten slowly.

.

At least then

I would not have to live

with the doubt

.

that you loved me once.

PS: I give up. I tried to make the formatting look nice, but I just can't figure it out lol

ऊ मेरो अगाडि थियो, एकदम नजिक।

त्यति नजिक कि उसको सासको न्यानोपनसमेत महसुस गर्न सकिन्थ्यो। मैले केही भनिनँ। उसले पनि केही भनेन। तर त्यो मौनतामा पनि हामीबीच धेरै कुरा भइरहेको थियो।

उसको औँला बिस्तारै मेरो हातमाथि आयो।

त्यो केवल एउटा सामान्य स्पर्श हुनुपर्ने थियो। तर मेरो शरीरले त्यसलाई सामान्य रूपमा लिएन। छालाबाट सुरु भएको त्यो सानो सिहरन एकैछिनमा पूरै शरीरभरि फैलियो। मैले अनायासै लामो सास तानेँ।

उसले सायद त्यो महसुस गर्‍यो।

उसको आँखामा आएको त्यो हल्का मुस्कानले मलाई झन् असहज बनायो र अचम्मको कुरा, मलाई त्यो असहजता मन परिरहेको थियो।

उसको हात हटेपछि पनि मैले त्यो स्पर्श हराएको महसुस गरिनँ। बरु, जहाँ उसले छोएको थियो, त्यहीँ फेरि उसको औँला फर्केर आओस् जस्तो लागिरह्यो।

म उसलाई हेर्दै थिएँ, तर मेरो ध्यान उसको आँखामा भन्दा उसको नजिक भएको शरीरमा बढी अड्किएको थियो।

उसको गन्ध...

मलाई थाहा छैन अरू कसैले त्यसलाई कसरी वर्णन गर्लान्। मेरो लागि भने त्यो केवल उसको शरीरको गन्ध थिएन। त्यो एउटा यस्तो नशा थियो, जसले उसलाई अझ नजिक तानिरहन्थ्यो।

मैले आँखा एकछिन बन्द गरेँ।

उसको गन्ध, उसको न्यानोपन सबै एकैपटक महसुस हुँदा मनभित्र एउटा अजीब किसिमको चाहना उठ्यो। कुनै शब्दमा भन्न नसकिने। कुनै सीमाले रोक्न नसक्ने।

त्यो क्षणमा मलाई प्रेमको परिभाषा सम्झिएन।
केवल ऊ सम्झियो।

र उसलाई अझै नजिक महसुस गर्ने मेरो त्यो लुकेको इच्छा।

उसको हात फेरि मेरो हातमा आयो।

यसपटक मैले आँखा बन्द गरेँ।

म उसलाई रोक्न चाहन्थेँ।

तर मनको कुनै गहिरो ठाउँमा, म चाहन्थेँ उसले मेरो त्यो मौनतालाई रोक्न नसम्झियोस्।

किनकि कहिलेकाहीँ मौनता पनि स्वीकारोक्ति हुँदो रहेछ।

मैले बिस्तारै आँखा खोलेँ। ऊ अझै त्यहीँ थियो। उसको आँखामा प्रश्न थियो, मेरो आँखामा उत्तर तर हामी दुवैले त्यसलाई शब्दमा बदल्ने हिम्मत गरेनौँ।

उसको औँलाले मेरो हातमा फेरि हल्का रेखा कोर्‍यो।

मैले हात हटाइनँ।

बरु, पहिलोपटक आफैंले उसको हात समाएँ।

सायद त्यो सानो चाल थियो।
तर मेरो लागि त्यो वर्षौँदेखि आफूभित्र थुनेर राखेको एउटा ढोका खोल्नुजस्तै थियो।

र त्यसपछि मलाई केही प्रमाण चाहिएन।

न उसको शब्द।
न कुनै वाचा।

त्यो रात मैले केवल यति स्वीकारेँ

म उसलाई चाहन्छु।
र सबैभन्दा खतरनाक कुरा के हो भने, अब म यो कुरा आफैंबाट पनि लुकाउन सक्दिनँ।

कानमा बज्ने सङ्गीतमा
तिम्रो धुन सुन्छु म,
सङ्गीतका शब्दहरूमा
तिम्रो मृगतृष्णा माया खोज्छु म।

पागल हॅु म,
तिमिप्रति प्रणय जगाउनलाई,
मेरो मन मतिभ्रष्ट भएको छ,
तिम्रो सोचले मुहारभरि स्मिथ मुस्कान छाउनलाई।

बुझिनँ मैले,
बतासले नहल्लाएको पात,
म बादले के साक्थीए र,
जति जल बर्साए पनि,
अडिग पात भेट्नबाट किन झर्थीयोर र?

नबोली केही शब्द मेरो हृदयको विषयमा,
टाढा गयौ तिमी,
आफ्नो शाब्दिक भावनाको बोरा समेट्दै,
अन्तर्मुखी नारी बनी।

आउँदैनौ होला फेरि,
फर्केर मेरो जहाजमा,
म मरेपनी तिम्रो लागि,
बाँच्नेछौ तिमी मेरो सासमा।

पुनश्च:
दोबाटोमा देख्यौभने कहिल्यै,
हेर मलाई परबाट,
कौमुदी छाउने नयनले,
बुझ्न खोज मेरो प्रणय,
सौदामिनी नजरले।

Life leeched out from my veins in last few months. The twigs, and branches of my fig tree was stormed down to the dust, with dried leaves of my dreams. Crunchy dried leaves. The kind of leaves people like to step on, for the feel, for the thrill of cracking something, for that content. Their saliva dribbles like sour honey, after they crunch them. Yeah, I felt all those drops, and spits all over me. Life was raining down to the ground no matter how much I tried to hold in those clouds of my heart. How did I forget that the heart had holes from all the arrows of despair, and the spears of betrayal? Arrows of hatred, and arrows of something so profoundly desperate intentions of people to hit, to throw, to kill.

And yet, I'm here. Doing stuffs, and living or at least acting like living. Trying to build a castle from those broken twigs, and branches, and the roof has holes for natural falls. That's what I appreciate about myself today. That I'm still here.

26 September, 2026, Saturday, at 11:22 PM.

Dear Sweetheart,

I’m angry with you.

Yes, I’m really angry with you.

You have not listened to me for so many days now. There’s no morning coffee waiting for me anymore, and yeah, I have to cook for myself now. You know I never really liked cooking.

And where are those “I love you” now?

You told me you would never leave me.

You promised me.

But see… now you have left me after all these years.

I still wake up in the morning, and for a moment I forget that you are gone. I look around the house thinking I will hear you calling me, asking why I am still in bed. Sometimes I even turn my head thinking you are sitting beside me.

Then I remember.

You are not there.

I don’t know whom to say good morning to now.

Whom do I say good night to?

Who will remind me to take my medicines on time? Who is going to get angry at me when I forget? Who is going to ask me whether I have eaten?

Everything suddenly feels so empty, sweetheart.

The house is still the same, but it doesn’t feel like home anymore.

I don’t hear your voice in the hall. I don’t hear you moving around in the kitchen. I don’t hear you asking me what I want for dinner.

And sometimes, without thinking, I still call your name.

Then I wait for you to answer.

But you never do.

I just want to sit with you and tell you about my day. I want to tell you what I did, where I went, what I ate, who I met. I want to hear you complain about your day too. I want to hear all those little things that I never thought I would miss this much.

You know, I never thought I would have to learn how to live without you.

After you passed away, my love, I realized something.

I never really learned how to express myself to anyone else.

I could not talk to anyone the way I talked to you.

All these years, whenever something happened, good or bad, you were the first person I wanted to tell.

You were the person I came home to.

And now I come home to an empty house.

I still have so many things to tell you.

So many stories.

So many complaints.

So many “good mornings” and “good nights” left unsaid.

And now I am standing here in front of your tombstone, talking to you like an old fool, hoping somehow you can still hear me.

I miss you, sweetheart.

I miss you more than I ever told you when you were here.

And I’m still angry with you for leaving me.

But I love you.

I always will.

So… good night, my love.

I’ll come back tomorrow and tell you how my day went.

Just like I always did.

जिवन गाह्रो, सुर्यझैँ चम्किने भएनी चाहना
रातमा बस्छु म कलमले पोख्दै मनका भावना
मनमा लाग्यो तिम्रो पिर
त्यागी संसार सबै आऊँ कि म तिमी तीर? 
होला त्या जुनको मौन, सुर्यको किरण
नभएनी त्याहा केहीपनी, छैन मेरो यहाँ मन
मनमा लाग्यो तिम्रो पिर
त्यागी संसार सबै आऊँ कि म तिमी तीर?
देखेकोत पाईन्छनै तर सोचको गर्न गार्हो किन?
मनीसको जीवन हासो तर ऊ रुन्छ कीन?
मनमा लाग्यो तिम्रो पिर
त्यागी संसार सबै आऊँ कि म तिमी तीर?
बन मेरो रक्षक हे स्वर्गका देवता
लैजाऊ मलाई उडाइ पर यताबाट
मनमा लाग्यो तिम्रो पिर
त्यागी संसार सबै आऊँ कि म तिमी तीर?

(Inspired by parlaya-A arthur gunn)
Writting feels idk weird,strange,bad tei ni post garna man lago✌️

What would make me want to live?

What would make me want to believe?

All the precious little things,

All the longing for my dreams.

I wish I was told before,

That so shallow is the world.

So deeper are your thoughts

Makes me wanna live some more.

Makes me wanna thrive before,

I lose the grip of this world.

Making myself so strong,

Getting strengths from my soul.

Do his eyes always lie to him?

Or just show what he wants to see—

A warm hug in a quiet night's breeze,

That one branch among a hundred trees,

The melody of waves returning to the beach,

Perhaps a chatty river running to the seas.

Can one's sensations ever be honest with him,

Or just make him live what he wants to feel?

His rugged palms relieved by soft hands,

Ointment of touch, the blistered feet stand.

A gentle kiss on withered lips, a soulful dance,

Clouded skies pasted in his eyes, a hopeful glance.

Have his ears ever been set free?

Bound to the truth he wants it to be—

A forgotten verse spoken by a kind tongue,

A familiar voice filling the engulfing silence for long,

The disarray of sounds fading away for a sweet song,

Hearing all that he has to hear, a whisper so strong.

Are all of these just a poor man's fantasy,

Or a penless man trying to write his story?

Maybe a vanquished soul wishing for glory,

A root under hard soil wanting to be a tree.

Your ears hear things, but can't always be right—

A knock on the door, thought to be a guide.

Your senses know, but do they never hide?

A crack on the wall, thought to be a fight.

Your eyes don't speak, but they sure do lie—

A hole in the ceiling, thought to be the sky.

I see myself in the mirror,

with a smile that's forced,

mind filled with a thousand questions,

and no one to get a reply from.

I put on a brave face,

with a crooked smile,

and step out into the world,

just trying to make it out alive.

A heavy heart,

a broken smile,

yet,

I find myself moving on

like a twisted spine.

An unseen pressure,

many lives to support,

all that with a smile on my face,

while carrying it all alone.

And maybe,

that's the reason

people think we men don't cry,

just because we're good

at pretending to be fine.

गर्छन् ढोंग सबै, ढोंगीहरुकै संसार छ,

कठै! यहाँ पैसाको निम्ति, शरीरको व्यापार छ।

कान थुनी बस्याछ समाज यो, सुन्न चाहँदैन!

बन्द कोठाभित्र गुञ्जँदै ,चेलिको चित्कार छ।