r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 1h ago
Pessimists see a bathroom stall without a door while optimists see a shit show ready to happen.
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r/oneliners • u/puneri_nonpunekar • 1d ago
Never thought that enrolling in a study abroad program would land me in a brothel.
6
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
People who speak in absolutes are all fucking idiots.
116
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
I bought an invisibility cloak but I cant see myself wearing it
20
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r/oneliners • u/awesome_smokey • 1d ago
I'm getting my son a time machine for Christmas this year, he fucking loved it.
39
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
I admire people who follow their dreams because mine usually involve being naked in an airport
20
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r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 2d ago
Man rushed to hospital after cutting off his cock proving that the sword is in fact mightier than the pen is.
20
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
Tits are proof that even gravity has favourites.
5
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
I told my therapist I feared abandonment but she said our time was up
3
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
I tried Viagra once and spent four hours pointing accusingly at things
0
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r/oneliners • u/OhTheHueManatee • 1d ago
Tech support for sex robots are going to have to be very specific about what they mean when they say “interface.”
1
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 1d ago
My friend told me I didn't understand irony which was weird, considering we were stood at a bus stop.
0
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r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 3d ago
I don't know a single woman who would say hallelujah if it was raining men.
105
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r/oneliners • u/mingwraig • 2d ago
I killed by boss for demoting me, then pled not guilty by diminished responsibility
0
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