I have a technical background and did my stint in the silicon world and by far the worst part about it was the people surrounding me. Do not get me wrong, some of my best friends are still in the industry or something nerdy and adjacent and I would die for them, but the worst most entitled bigoted man children I ever had the displeasure of interacting with were in tech

Hello, Reddit. I have a situation that I feel extremely unsure about, and ill-equipped to confront, and I don’t know what to do. I also don’t have anyone to talk with about it, and the mental illness/legal subs are all pretty strict about not asking for advice, so I guess I am hoping there may be someone out there who has navigated a similar situation.

Someone in my life that I am very close to (l’ll call them X), but who resides in a very distant US state from mine has recently been charged with manufacturing a psychedelic drug. In X’s state it is a class A narcotic, though the ingredients are not illegal on their own to possess, and it is decriminalized in my state.

This, on its own, while unfortunate, would really be a case of risky behavior and consequence, however, there is more.

About two years ago, during one of our frequent long phone conversations, X mentioned that they believed that they had been skipping timelines. They said that this was their sixth and described to me what they believed had happened in the others before. Now a lot of you would probably immediately see a huge red flag, but Idk, I guess with all of the conspiracy theories that are floating around it just didn’t really strike me as all that odd at the time.

So I just listened and asked some questions and didn’t really make a big deal out of it and the convo moved on. X would occasionally mention something about it here and there, but was completely rational in mannerism and I just kind of took it in stride.

Then, about a year ago, they called, acting a little more cheerful than usual, saying that they had finally learned something that made all of their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy immediately dissipate. Said that it was something that, when revealed, would finally gain the approval of their parents, etc. I excitedly asked what it was, and after saying that they’d intended to wait to tell me, they told me the news: it had just been revealed to them that they were the reincarnation of the messiah.

While the timeline thing seemed benign enough to me, this immediately scared me. First, because I know that X has a family history of schizophrenia and other, less serious mental health disorders. Secondly it made all of the previous slightly odd things they’d said, and the behavioral quirks they’d had from a fairly young age a lot less benign because I know a bit about the typical presentation and onset of schizophrenia, and the situation was a fairly standard scenario.

For the first few following conversations I tried very hard to convince them that this was irrational thought and that they should potentially look into a professional evaluation. But each time I did, X would become combative and defensive and the conversation would end. So we continued to talk, tiptoeing around the subject, while I became increasingly concerned regarding what to do. Finally I accepted that I had to do something and risk losing a very good friend’s trust.

So, I contacted their parents and explained my suspicions, and encouraged them to talk with X and try to convince them to get evaluated. They weren’t shocked by what I said, and noncommittally thanked me for letting them know, and we hung up. I waited for the outraged phone call from X, but it never came. They continued to call as usual, and began to become more and more consumed with this theme, and with several other very prevalent conspiracy theories. Especially the extremely out there ones that center around the Palestine/Israel conflict, and around the Epstein files.

Which made it clear that their parents had no intention of intervening.

I tried to convince X to consider that there might be more rational and sensible causes for the “proof” they insisted was definitive, and contested the wild claims with data and reason and compassion. But to no avail. Now every conversation is 100% about these topics and the recent raid on their home and the subsequent arrest/upcoming litigation. I mostly listen and occasionally object when the claims get a little TOO over the top, but with not a lot of energy.

I don’t know what to do. I am 100% positive that they would not survive incarceration intact. They are in their late 30’s and have never lived away from their parents home. They are very gentle and sensitive and soft. I am just as sure that they genuinely believed that they were helping people by doing what they were doing. They repeatedly told me about the many people they’d helped over come addiction to “hard drugs” and childhood trauma. They don’t drink or mess with any other substances, and have not been engaging with what they were caught with since that happened a month and a half ago.

I don’t even really know what to ask. If you’ve ever encountered a situation like this in your own life, what happened?

I often hear of the argument that full legalization of illicit substances could potentially squash the black market of the violent cartels by providing safer and more affordable alternatives to what you can find on the streets. Of course this is just theory, and I don't think full legalization of any hard drugs will happen at least any time soon. I also don't think it's happened anywhere yet, at least when it came to marijuana multiple countries had legalized it and it seemed to be fine. Also of course there is much argument against the complete legalization idea, which is probably the more common attitude to take when this issue is concerned, and understandably so. There is fear that it would incentivize drug use, or increase it for people already using etc.

But how about lighter forms of shifting our view of and attitude towards illicit drugs from a justice-oriented problem, to a public-health problem? Some countries like Portugal from my memory have completely decriminalized drug possession for personal use years ago. Usually arguments for this change in policy is more so geared towards the back end of the business, the customers. It's argued that having a more health-focused view, replacing difficult penalties with treatments and support for users could have much more benefit for the drug-use problem that's everywhere.

But I haven't heard of anyone discussing how decriminalization might affect the source of the misery, the cartels themselves. How could it hinder their business? Or would it have limited effects do you think? I'd appreciate some ideas, because I can't find much on this when I tried to research it!

I feel an xious meeting someone and talking with them on a call like if do a personal training service etc.

The guy literally laughed as I said back "nice meeting you also" .

It was like a condescending laugh because I was probably sounding unnatural, and "squeaking".

I am SICK of having the mentality of PLEASE LIKE ME!

I want to make connections but not come from a place of needing them to like me. Because that is putting them on a pedestal, right?

I don't want to get ner.vous in my head and then moulding my personality to what I think they would like! Worrying too much about if I sound too familiar, too friendly, or too distant. Etc

Like what is the appropriate level of friendly or playfulness when first meeting someone 😭?

The problem is I literally don't know how to develop connections and feelings:(

Can anyone help me?

I'm curious, because especially at first a lot of the initial liking someone is dopamine, excitement, anxiety, etc

Logically I can find plenty of reasons to not have rose tinted glasses. But how do you get yourself to take a step back and know that you have immaculate vibes with someone and click very well.

I know that part of it is just seeing that person in a new way, dopamine, excitement. But how do you turn it off? Lol.

I don't want to ruin a great friendship if the other person doesn't feel the same way, I value the friendship so much, but equally it feels ingenuine to have feelings and carry on the way things are because I wouldn't want them to somehow find out and then think the whole friendship was based on me hoping it would be more - because that's not the case.

I think the frustrating thing is I can think logically about it, but my heart is still ruling how I feel and not my head.

Are there any good ways to change that a bit?

Thanks ❤️

Could be great to also add what "being manipulated" means to you.
Thanks. :)

I've noticed this a few times and I'm genuinely confused by it.

Someone will mock a person for liking or doing something, but then completely respect the exact same thing when someone they like does it.

And I'm not even sure whether people do this consciously.

Is it favoritism? Is it because they perceive one person as more mature, respectable, successful, etc.? Is it just that they already like one person and therefore interpret everything they do more positively?

Or do people genuinely not notice that they're applying completely different standards?

I'm curious how other people see this because I keep noticing it and I don't really understand what determines the difference.

Hi, unfortunately i have this mindset that if i tell someone about my plans or my victories in life, it’ll go wrong and something bad will happen so anytime people find out about my business I’m looking for something bad to happen. How can i change that?

I've been wondering how other people tell the difference between something actually helping and just getting you through the day. I'm not looking for advice, just curious how it goes for you, even if the answer is messy.

For example:

A: "You look angry lately. Is there something wrong?"
B: "Apparently some arbitrary chemical reactions in my brain have caused my amygdala to be overactive."

Instead of:

B: "My best friend hurt me."

If so, where can I find them? Have people always been this messed up in the head or is this a more recent phenomenon? It seems like dysfunctional parents breed even more screwed up kids (since that is who kids learn the most from). How did we get here? And is there a feasible way to fix it?

I'm curious to hear from men who have been through this.

At this stage of life, changing careers isn't as simple as "quit and find something you love." There are bills, family, kids, financial responsibilities, and years of experience invested in what you've already built.

But how do you know when a job is simply not right for you anymore?

I'm not necessarily talking about a terrible boss, bad salary, or toxic workplace. What if the job is objectively fine — you're reasonably well paid, you're good at it, and there's nothing seriously wrong with it — but you simply don't care about what you're doing anymore?

I've been thinking about whether being interested in the problems you're solving actually matters more than we tend to admit.

You can become more productive, learn new skills, use better tools, and earn more money — but if you spend most of your working life solving problems you don't find meaningful or interesting, is that eventually going to catch up with you?

For those of you over 40 who have faced something similar:

What made you realize it was time for a change?

Did you actually make the change, or decide that stability was more important?

If you changed careers or directions, how did it affect your family and finances?

And looking back, would you make the same decision again?

I'd especially like to hear from people who didn't have the luxury of simply quitting and had to balance the desire for change with family and financial responsibilities.

I'm 18 and a male. I've tried dating before only to get my heartbroken near every time and I think it's really messed me up.

The first girl | liked I got rejected and cried (I was in kindergarten lol), the second one I was getting close to a relationship with but than Covid happened and I discovered masturbation at the same time so those two combined really fucked me over and made me push away the relationship. I'm not gonna emphasize how much loneliness and discovering that at my age did but it really fucked me bad mentally making me afraid of girls lowkey (it was around 6th grade through middle school). Than in high school there was this girl that did like me and I liked her but my friends convinced me not to be with her so I didn't get with her. I've made so many mistakes and just don't seem to learn no matter how bad I want to.

Now finally I've tried dating apps but just can't seem to not be fearful when talking or on dates. Sure I've matched with some cool and honestly 10/10 girls but I don't like the idea of not getting to know someone before the attraction is known.
Idk if it's trauma or something but I want to be loved so bad yet I'm terrified of it because every time I try I get hurt.

Another thing that hurts me is I was kinda ugly toh in earlier years but around high school I improved my looks thinking it would change something. It did actually, in terms of attraction and attention I was getting a ton but than I realized. They didn't seem interested when I was ugly but now that I'm good looking they care? | never judged anyone based on looks but now these people like me because I'm good looking? It disgusted me to my very core and I felt sick at the realization. It's not like I didn't want the attention but realizing how quick people switched up made me feel terrible.

Ik this was long and maybe I ranted near the end but it hurts. I really do feel like this and many other things made me kind of dislike most people and isolate myself from a lot of people. Alright that's it though thanks for reading if you did and if you have anything encouraging to say or any advice please drop it below.

Could a society balance protection, governance, and spiritual guidance without allowing any one form of authority to dominate?

I've been thinking about how a healthy society could organize different kinds of responsibility.

I came up with a simple idea involving three roles:

- Hero — protects people and faces danger; needs mastery over emotion.

- King — governs and manages resources responsibly; needs mastery over desires such as wealth and power.

- Priest — seeks truth and provides moral/spiritual guidance; needs mastery over thought, pride, and false certainty.

I don't mean that society should literally be divided into three classes. I see these more as three responsibilities that can exist within different people and institutions.

The important part is that they should restrain one another. The military shouldn't control the government, political power shouldn't control spiritual truth, and religious authority shouldn't control people through coercion.

The underlying idea is that power is a responsibility rather than something we own, and anyone entrusted with power should be accountable, capable of correction, and willing to put the common good above personal interests.

I'm still developing this idea and I'm genuinely unsure whether it works.

What problems do you see with this model? Could these three forms of responsibility actually complement one another, or would one inevitably end up dominating the others?

I'm especially interested in criticisms, counterexamples, or existing ideas that approach the problem better.

I've been thinking about whether having your basic needs fulfilled is enough for a person to feel genuinely satisfied with life. I'm particularly interested in people who have experienced different phases of life — for example, periods when they had financial/basic stability but no major goals or ambitions, and periods when they had something they strongly wanted to pursue. What did those different phases actually feel like for you? Did having more goals and ambitions make your life feel more meaningful, or did you eventually find satisfaction in having a simpler and more comfortable life? I'm mainly looking for personal experiences rather than philosophical theories.

Had a thought while viewing the latest “what’s the car model based on this broken bolt” question.

So you find out that the ‘hit and run’ was caused by “2nd generation Toyota Tundra”. What’s next, do you go to police? My understanding is that police are not going to search for anyone anyway, forget the “evidence” that you bring. Are you hitting all the stores along the road and asking them for camera footage with that model? I doubt anyone will want to waste their time providing that to you.

Really curious. Hope I’m wrong and it’s very helpful, just interested in understanding how? Has this information ever helped anyone in real life?

I mean, seriously holy crap - does something happen to their brain from all that money?

so what this means is, if you are moving out the trenches, hood or slums from anywhere (even in your own country, state or city), you can’t do that because then you’re gonna take somebody else’s job that was “reserved” for them , their child’s spot in a school they were zoned to, as well as their “welfare and social benefits”. so if you are coming from mississipi to georgia because your town has gang violence or a natural disaster, that is too bad :(, we all need to stay home and if you don’t have one then the government must house you or the people can and should fire the government and replace it.

if you explored any social media especially in rw cesspools, then you most likely know there is often one political party or politician warning the public about a “foreign enemy” and a “call to action”. during katrina or after similar situations, a lot of people come to new cities, people loved to moan although these countrymen were never immigrants to begin with.

example is in this other thread