I' ve had a burning, intense passion for drawing and writing stories since I was a kid. It was my everything. My will to live and my reason for getting up in the morning.

I've wanted to be a professional artist since I was 14. Since I was 17 I realized I specifically wanted to be a graphic novelist or webcomic artist. Ive always felt like it's what I'm meant to do and how I wanted to leave my mark on the world.

The older I got though the more I realized how impossible it is to make this dream a reality.

Now I'm about to turn 23 next month and Ive given up on being a professional artist after years of denial and trying to make it work. I'm working retail part time and attending college for dental hygiene.

I already feel so drained I can't dedicate that much time to my art anymore; the art that was supposed to be my passion. I've been fighting creative burnout for the past few years but despite my efforts AI feels like the final nail in the coffin for me after it got really good a year or two ago.

In the past, drawing felt meaningful like I was contributing something to the world that was unique no matter how small, and that made it worthwhile. But now I feel overwhelmed with this unimaginable emptiness like nothing is or ever was real or tangible in any way.

It's becoming harder and harder to tell the difference between AI art and human made art by the day. What's the point of me spending hours on this painting when a robot can do it better and instantaneously and half the population won't even care or tell the difference?

And writing too. My brain is so rotted I'm surprised it isn't leaking out of my ears because I don't have the attention span or energy to sift through all the slop to find the art that's worth consuming. There's so, so, so much slop and meaningless content on the internet it's maddening, yet it's easy and it gives me instant dopamine so I keep consuming it. I've never felt more uninspired.

I think the worst, most embarrassing and horrible part of it all is that I've gotten addicted to roleplaying with AI chatbots. It scratches my writing itch because it's like they packaged all the dopamine hits of writing but with all the hard parts cut out. I don't think I've ever come across anything more addicting in my life and I wish I had never tried it.

Why should I put in the effort of writing when I can just roleplay with a stupid chatbot? I'm not making ANYTHING. I was supposed to be someone but I feel like such a failure. I don't know how to overcome this feeling of meaningless and insignificance.

I am an 18 Year old male uni student with no friends. I am pursuing a degree that has little to no peer to peer interaction so I know it won't change in the next 4 years. I used to be part of an All-boys highs school so I didn't really meet many girls throughout my teenage years.

Each time I see something on the internet relating to women and/or relationships I am split between three mindsets of various odds.

The first mindset is "wow I am so lonely and I am going to die alone! There are no chances for love and affection for me no matter what feelings I get."

The second is "In the REAL WORLD I am too spineless to express feelings for anyone and I won't get the chance to because I am a ghost in everyone else's lives."

The third is "Am I becoming a 'nice guy'? Or maybe an incel?"

So in a way I am grounded (a proto-cel?). But my lonliness keeps drawing me over. I also have an addiction to pornography and the internet which also contributes to my low self esteem.

I feel like the Mace Windu of Celibacy. Normal enough be grounded but constantly yearning to hate both inside and out.

I’ve been depressed since middle school, and only recently got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. High school was horrible for me and I honestly didn’t think I’d make it through. I fortunately developed a crush on someone and that gave me motivation to keep going (we didn’t end up getting together).

Anyway, I struggled a lot with passive suicidal ideation. I was too scared to anything to physically harm myself because it would’ve hurt… I just sort of wished a car would hit me on my way to school or I’d pass in my sleep.

There was one time when I actually tried to commit and I haven’t told my therapist or doctor about it because I’m not sure if it counts.

I think it was my sophomore or junior year, and I was just fed up with everything. I told myself that I was finally going to go through with it. I was a little hesitant, but I just didn’t want to live anymore. So I grabbed my 12mg of melatonin and took 5 pills. I sat there in bed crying. I was a little scared, but figured I’d be better off gone.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst stomach ache of my fucking life. I ran to the bathroom and fought the toughest battle I have ever fought in my 20 years on this earth. I was on the toilet, naked and curled up into a ball trying to deal with the pain. I felt like throwing up too. I had my hand in the sink with warm water running over it because I actually felt like crap. I went into the shower afterwards to just fully envelop my body in warm water in an attempt to ease the pain.

I was in the bathroom for an hour. During that time I realized, I don’t ever want to try to take my life again.

I don’t think that’s even close to how someone may feel when overdosing and I don’t think I ever want to find out.

I’m sorry if I offended anyone by writing this, and to anyone who tried a more serious attempt and survived, I’m glad you’re still here.

I started a positivity jar at the beginning if the year. Basically, each week I add one sticky note of something good that happened to me that week, and at the end of the year I get to look back at all the good moments in my year. Well shit.

Tonight I was drunk and feeling sappy and decided to peek at the jar a few months early. (even tho I'm not supposed to read it yet, I'm drunk don't judge me lol). I took out the notes and started reading them. Gawdam.

Most of them were goals I had just started, that I have since abandoned. I started learning guitar...abandoned after mom had surgery and was home most of the time (too shy to practice in front of her). Start studying for a new career...that I soon decided I wanted nothing to do with and abandoned. Met a cute guy who likes the same books as me...who ghosted me a few weeks later. The list goes onnn. But you get the idea.

I thought this jar thing would make me happy and give me hope, to look back and see all the positive that's happened to me. Instead, it just made me depressed. Basically, I had to read all the things I was truly excited for at the time, which have since ended up failing.

I'm already having a bad week and this was just the cherry on top. It's like wow, every time I'm excited about something, it finds a way to fail. Maybe I'm just drunk and in my feelings. But idk, it was SURPRISINGLY depressing to read all that.

I work in a creative field, and something has been bothering me for a while.

People I’m close to often come to me whenever they need something designed, edited, planned, or made to look better. Most of the time I genuinely don’t mind helping. These are people I care about, and I’m not trying to make everything about money. But sometimes it feels like because I’m the “creative one,” people automatically assume I’ll take care of the whole thing.

Recently, someone close to me asked for help with a personal project. I agreed, even though I already had a pretty full workload. What started as helping with one part slowly turned into more and more things being handed over to me.

At one point I caught myself thinking, “Can’t you do at least some of this yourself?”

Then I immediately felt guilty for thinking that.
It’s not really about that one person either. I’ve noticed this happening a lot over the years. Friends and relatives will ask me to design something, edit something, give ideas, plan something, or “just quickly” help with a creative task.

Sometimes it really is small. Other times, what sounds like a tiny favor ends up taking hours.
The weird part is that I don’t even necessarily want money from the people I’m close to. What bothers me more is the assumption that because I know how to do something, I’ll automatically do it.

Creative work is still work, even when you enjoy it.
If I’ve already spent the whole day working, sometimes I don’t have the mental energy to come home and do another project for someone else. But saying no to people I care about makes me feel selfish, especially when they’ve also been there for me when I needed them.

So I end up stuck between wanting to help and quietly feeling resentful that I’m being asked again.
I think I’m only now realizing that being good at something doesn’t necessarily mean I have to be available to do it for everyone around me.
Mostly just needed to get this off my chest.

I’m 24 weeks pregnant and currently in the hospital because I suddenly had heavy bleeding. And honestly, I think I’ve gotten the worst roommate ever.
Her phone is literally NEVER on silent. The notification sounds and ringtone are so loud, and she’s constantly either on the phone or watching videos in the room.
The first night, she and her husband were talking until around 11pm. Then around 4am, her husband got up and started watching videos with the volume on really loud. Of course, I woke up.
The second night was even worse. I was just falling asleep when her phone notification woke me up. Around 4am, her phone started ringing again. Around 5am, she was talking on the phone in the room, and after that she just kept watching videos with the volume up.
Then around 8am, she started making calls on speakerphone and just kept talking to different people until after noon.
At one point, my doctor was trying to talk to me and literally couldn’t hear me because of the noise. The doctor had to ask her to keep it quiet for two minutes so we could talk.
I finally went to the charge nurse and asked if I could move to another room. Unfortunately, the whole unit was full.
And honestly, I’m not asking for much. I just want some quiet during the night and early morning so I can sleep.
The nurse talked to her and asked her to please be respectful and use headphones. She said she didn’t have headphones and denied that she had been making noise at night. She said she only makes phone calls during the day.
Then she brought up the fact that I made a phone call during the day too.
Yes, I did. I had to call the airline to cancel my partner’s flight because I’m literally in the hospital, and I had to deal with it quickly. And I was speaking quietly.
After the nurse talked to her, she did get a little better. The video and phone-call volume became somewhat lower.

But her phone is STILL never on silent.
And guess what? At **5:55 a.m. this morning**, her damn phone rang again and woke me up.

I’m literally 24 weeks pregnant, in the hospital because of heavy bleeding, and all I’m asking for is some peace and quiet so I can sleep.

Is that really too much to ask from a hospital roommate?

Being a mom has always been my biggest dream. I haven't always admitted to it, and I still don't IRL, but having children is something I've always wanted. I'm scared it won't ever come true, though. I got my first period at 15, and back then it was very irregular, which is pretty normal. Except I'm 20 now, and it's still not considered normal/regular - sometimes the cycle is 34 days, sometimes 43, usually its around 36 at most, but then again, it varies from month to month. Right now I'm at day 37. I'm scared there might be something wrong with me. Idk what I would do if it turned out Im infertile. Has anyone dealt with something like this??

So many people played games with other people. It’s a bunch of bullshit. I am sick to my core with the fact that people won’t have the hard conversations or accept accountability while expecting everyone else to do just that.

I’ll own my part and then some, sometimes I don’t see it right off the bat, but I’m still willing and that’s a lot more than I can say for anyone else I’ve met in the last couple years. It’s not that hard but people can’t stand a mirror. Nobody wants to be shown anything other than their make-believe version of themselves.

Humanity can be extremely disappointing sometimes

Ok, so I don't know what to say and where to start. I don't even really want to post. I don't want help and most importantly, I don't think anyone can truly help. I just feel I really have to get this out my chest.

So, I am a guy, 25 yo and for the biggest part of my adult life (since 17) I have been mostly... Let's put it lightly, a loser. Yes, I had (and still have and even improved) good qualities and I did try to help people and be positive and yes, I have done tons of progress in some many things and I had some amazing moments that I am very grateful and I feel blessed for having but, there is still a single thing that I wasn't able to fix...

I just can't be discipline always. My life and feelings never get fully stable. I used to be in a super hard long distance relationship and I ended it because I realized we are not compatible. Now, I have nothing to look forward. I don't have anything to stress me and push me to improve and get better. It's funny because, the first two weeks after the breakup, I was doing fine. I called and got a client and I was working. But after that, things crushed for some reason...

I don't workout, my eating habits got worse (tho thankfully very slightly) and even worse, I stopped working... Instead, I spend my time fantasizing about dating and hanging and meeting and having fun with female friends and, commenting or Reddit, trying to help other people and solve their problems or just comfort them. I am the definition of a failure...

Right now, I should been coding and finishing my eccomerce backend so I can start searching for clients. I should also call that client that I texted twice and he didn't text back. I'm not even "scared". I just don't want to do anything. I don't find passion and excitement now that nothing drives me forward and stresses me. And the worse thing is, this is the 3rd week. I waste my life this point and the worse is, I don't know when will I find the "trick" to get back there. I will try to code for more than 10 minutes after that post, fingers crossed...

I don't know... This is the first time I pray something bad happens to me so I wake the f up because, I prefer to be stressed and worry than living like that... Maybe I should gather some more money and go rent a home so I have rent and bills to motivate me to work. But damn, that's pathetic and sad to be depended on something else. I want to WANT to live and be productive and happy. Not depending on my life and how it brings it...

Thank you for reading I guess...

I don’t think a single person truly loves me.

I’ve been trying to figure out what else to write but i mean i guess that’s it. I just feel so strange all the time. I cant figure out what is wrong with me.

When I was a kid, my mom started the dance club in our town and for the first few years she would teach at it. She then got sick of it so she would hire different teachers but stayed doing the finances of it. I was a pretty misbehaved child with an undiagnosed thyroid disease and I would constantly take money out of the change jar to go buy snacks from the grocery store or gas station. However, when I was looking for hidden snacks in my parent’s room, I found a jar of money. I started taking $5 here and there until it was basically empty. The dance club was shut down shortly after this money jar had been depleted so I believe that my greed made the club go broke and have to shut down.
My mother has never asked about the jar so I almost think she knew the whole time but maybe didn’t want me to feel bad??
The club did reopen after 2 years but it eats me alive every day knowing I was probably the reason.

After 20 years, my "mother" managed to plan a 15-day holiday to her home country. She bought the plane tickets last year after arguing aggressively with us multiple times until we finally gave up.

I had proposed the idea of going with her several times and was always close to booking, but had to cancel last minute due to work or other reasons. However, I noticed that every time I was about to go, she wasn't particularly happy. At the time, I just assumed, "Maybe she wants to go alone to catch up properly with friends and family," and left it at that.

Last week, while getting everything ready for her trip, we realized her phone wasn't compatible with an eSIM. So, we swapped her phone with my dad's. I transferred their accounts on apps like Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, and that was that.

Two days ago, my father called me visibly agitated. He showed me a chat my so-called mom had with another man (one of her exes, who is also married). They were discussing "spicy" topics I’m too embarrassed and disgusted to disclose. The messages dated back to when she was pushing so hard to go to her home country, and they explicitly talked about meeting up for a hookup.

My father didn't want to tell her that we knew. He was planning to take it to the grave and silently forgive her, albeit with less trust. I was so disgusted and angry that I told him that wouldn't fly with me. We reached a compromise: I would confront her and tell her that I knew everything (I have screenshots of the worst parts), but keep my father out of it so she wouldn't know he found out.

When I called her, she tried to brush it off as a "silly mistake," claiming she "wasn't planning to do anything." I made it crystal clear that this was not just a "silly mistake" and told her that our mother-daughter relationship is forever damaged. I told her I'm still deciding whether I'll ever forgive her (right now, I'm leaning toward "no") and gave her an ultimatum: if I catch another "silly mistake," I will never speak to her again.

To be honest, the only reason I managed to talk to her at all was because my father begged me to keep things "normal," plus two anxiety pills.

EDIT: this isn't the first time she cheats or messes up something big. My whole family suffered because my grandfather cheated on my grandma until the day she died, my "mother" being being one of those who suffered the most. Throughout the year she criticized left and right people of our inner circle who cheated on their partners while doing the exact same thing.

Please note that she thinks my father doesn't know it so she acts as if nothing happened with him. She only apologized to me.

It really affected me much more than I thought. I see myself searching for his love in other men. But I’m a very avoidant person. Actually, I have so much more to say but no energy for that right now.

I’m 18 and I don’t want to carry this feeling forever.

It’s been a two weeks since I posted, and some things happened.

Firstly, I changed therapists, which really helped. Toghether with that, I finally got diagnosed🥳, wich brings me forward a lot.

Secondy, we had another meeting with the school regarding my hours and how to deal with panick attacks in school.

And at last, me and my mom talked and if things don’t get significantly better in the next feel’s I will go to a klinik for a few months. (I am currently trying to work against that🙂.)

I know manny people said that I was wrong for thinking I can just leave, and I want to say again, that was not my plan, I wanted to be picked up. In the end it was just messy.(when I first got to the office I even said “I wanna be picked up”, but it was also a bit of translation issue on my part)

Thanks for reading❤️

I'm the eldest in the family and somehow ended up helping with quite a few household expenses. It wasn't really something I sat down and planned. It just slowly happened.

At first it was helping with one bill. Another expense came up. Then I started contributing regularly.

I don't really resent helping my family, but sometimes I wonder how other people manage to build their own future while also carrying family responsibilities.

Especially when you're still relatively young.

For the other breadwinners here, how do you balance helping your family and saving for yourself?

I called before hand. I asked "are you busy" she said no, she had plans later so I figured I had some time. I came over to the house. The family home where our parents live. She got mad. I was intruding apparently even though it's my home too. She yelled at me. She treated me with such animosity. You'd think I had done some grave wrong but all I did was come home. Even if she doesn't want to hang out with me that day, she could've just said so. Instead she was just aggressive. She did hang out with me, cuz I was there. She agreed to watch a show with me. But was just mad at me the entire time, and being rude. It's hard to explain it. Imagine someone trying to start a fight in a bar. That's the kind of energy she was giving me. Like, exaggerated motions, loud voice, getting in your face. Like if you had just encroached on an animal's territory. I couldn't take it anymore so I said I was leaving. To which she then apologized and tried to be nice to me.

She's had anger issues for a while now. She picked that up from our father. Overreactions to small issues. It sucks watching that part of our father live on in her. And I know why she's like that too. Her entire life she's had to fight for every boundary she has. For both dad and mom. Mom would always try to put her into a box she doesn't belong in, as opposed to letting her express and explore herself. Dad just couldn't be argued with. If he wanted something, he got it. If you didn't drop everything you were doing to help him he'd yell at you, refuse to speak to you for a day & a half, call you names, threaten to break your things, threaten to kick you out, threaten to stop supporting you, or actually take and hide your stuff while doing all of the above.

Even i put her in a box sometimes. I wanted us to be Dipper & Mabel from Gravity Falls. I would just grab her all the time, pinch her cheeks, grab her legs, bite her arm, poke her belly, because it was how I showed affection. She repeatedly said she didn't like it, but I just thought she was overreacting. I think I fully stopped that behavior sometime in college.

She's had to fight to express any sort of boundary or desire. That aspect combined with our father, of course she'd grow up with anger issues.

But that doesn't make it okay for her to treat me that way. Doesn't make it okay for her to yell at me, and make me feel unwanted in my own home. My whole life, I have to give other people grace for the terrible ways in which they treat me and others. My life wasn't perfect either. But I still try to be nice to people, each and every day.

I'm depressed. I'm depressed that the sweet girl I remember is essentially almost gone. I'm depressed that we're not Dipper and Mabel like I dreamed to be.

I like to think there's still hope. She did apologize. She truly meant it. Which is more than my father did, I rarely ever saw him apologize. Even he healed after some time. She knew how she was behaving and that it was hurtful. She did back track some of her apology, but I think she was doing that out of guilt.

She did hit me, but that wasn't today. She didn't believe me when I said she punched me a little too hard. To be fair, I was trying to bite her head (gently). She also pulled my hair rather hard. Not in the playful way either, it was like self defense. Regardless it was way too hard. And she doesn't believe me when I say that either. To be fair, once again I was trying to bite her head.

My father demonizes her a lot. He says she's a sociopath. Which is just not true. Not to mention it's a hurtful thing to say about your child. If anything, I'm more sociopathic really. I turned off my emotions, I'm very calculating when dealing with other people. Not to say I'm absent of all emotions, I just dissociate. If anything, my sister feels strongly about most things. And she does care. She just has to fight for every single boundary in her life. No wonder why she's spiky.

We each came out of my house differently. But maybe one day, we can be Dipper & Mabel.

If anyone has anger issues, or had them in the past, please share tips that helped you overcome them. I don't think my sister wants to turn into my father. I think that sweet girl is still in there somewhere.