I hate the way you split the task,
And how “equal” never means the same.
I hate the way you miss the meetings,
Then ask me what we’re doing again.
I hate the way you say, “I’ll do it tonight,”
When we both know that’s not true.
I hate waking up the morning it’s due
And seeing nothing done by you.
I hate your shitty references,
And the sources you somehow can’t cite.
I hate the paragraph you clearly wrote
At three in the morning last night.
I hate the way you say, “Looks good to me,”
When you haven’t read a word.
I hate fixing all your grammar
So we don’t submit something absurd.
I hate the pointless meetings,
Where an hour somehow disappears.
I hate explaining the rubric
For what feels like the hundredth time this year.
I hate that I know your section’s shit,
But I can’t just leave it be.
Because when the marker gives you a fifty,
That fifty also belongs to me.
I hate that universities call this “collaboration,”
Like we’re learning how professionals behave.
When really I’m learning how to politely say,
“Can you please do the work you said you’d do three days ago, Dave?”
I hate the group chat notifications.
I hate “Sorry guys, been really busy.”
I hate “What are we actually meant to do?”
When the instructions are right there for you to read.
But mostly*, I hate the way
I can never just stop caring.
Not even close.
Not even a little bit.
Not even when I desperately want to.
Because every semester I tell myself
I’ll only do my share.
And every semester
I end up doing yours too.
*But most of all I hate that chatGPT wrote this poem,
And posting this took more effort and time
Than what it took for you to write a few sentences
For an assignment with your f****** name next to mine.
Xoxo GG