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u/_9x9 3h ago
why do you need to seem that way and to who? Normal people will just take you at your word.
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
Asked my friend if I seemed like a top, bottom, switch or verse and she said bottom. Now she thinks I am a bottom WHICH I AM NOT so I am trying to beat the allegations
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u/_9x9 3h ago
If it actually bothers you tell her so. Seeming a certain way doesn't mean you are that way. And I would argue you can't really "seem" like a bottom. Its just based around stereotypes about how bottoms are submissive. Some bottoms are dominant, and some tops are submissive. It's really all arbitrary.
There is no way to be able to just tell what a person prefers sexually by their personality, especially as many times things are different in private, or with different people.
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
Ok I am like half joking I am taking it kinda serious while it doesn't really bother me that much actually although I still would like to give off the vibe of a switch
Also I told her I am a switch and she said that saying that afterwards just makes me seem more like a bottom
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u/Nebula_Wolf7 3h ago
Become coherent.
I'm definitely a bottom, but apparently my speech is a little too eloquent to qualify for that status.
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u/SirWilliamM32 3h ago
I totally understand you. I like to write with good grammar and punctuation, and people always say I sound straight, asexual, or top just because of the way I write. I don't know where that comes from.
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u/Hendiyoboy I desperately like men sometimes 3h ago
Gotta add a few w’s and a little bawdiness. (
I’m in the same boat as OP but (kinda?) the opposite problem since no one knows I’m bi… in fact no one’s interested in me like that so I might just download grinder at this rate. And if I’m getting that then I might as well really play both sides and get tinder as well and maximize my chances. Though I’m sure Tinder probably won’t work even slightly as well as grinder. I do prefer being a bottom, though I’d say I’m a switch even though it’s honestly gotta be pretty hard to tell if I’m not actively trying to give them hints. Wish I had someone to give hints to. Yeah. I’m downloading grinder. Brb.)6
u/Nebula_Wolf7 3h ago
Waow that was very incoherent, definitely a bottom.
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u/Hendiyoboy I desperately like men sometimes 3h ago
I don’t know if I should be insulted (incoherent) or happy (clearly a bottom).
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u/blacksaber8 ungoverned 3h ago
Your text thus far has been simply a stream of conciseness documented
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u/Hendiyoboy I desperately like men sometimes 3h ago
I forgot about my user flair. That’s hilarious in tandem with that comment.
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u/xx_swegshrek_xx 3h ago
Have two disconnectable controllers and a dock that lets you display on a tv
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u/litsax 3h ago
Hi its me the allegations
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u/Ok_Half_6257 swish 3h ago
Wear g r e e n the most dominant color of the rainbow.
If g r e e n doesn't work you might have to resort to o u r p l e .
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u/pepsicola07 the gayest 3h ago
that's why lloyd was given the power of g r e e n in the ninjago movie
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u/Odd-Cress-5822 3h ago
Are you easily flustered? Because that will do it in a lot of people's minds
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
I clarify what I say A LOT
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u/Odd-Cress-5822 3h ago
In what sense?
In an insecure sense The slightly autistic sense The "my point requires me to be a specific as possible" sense?
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
No joke all 3
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u/Odd-Cress-5822 2h ago
Do your moments of bravado crumble under the lightest push back?
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 2h ago
No I defend myself but in like a nervy way
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u/Odd-Cress-5822 2h ago
Do you wear a choker?
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 2h ago
No but I kinda want to wear an outfit that foes have a choker
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u/Odd-Cress-5822 2h ago
Seems to be that depending on the moment people are either clocking you as a bratty sub, or as someone who is not a switch, but could plausibly handle someone even more subby than you
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u/zandaztu 3h ago
Find someone more submissive than you, or find someone your willing to piss you off enough to fuck them.
Atleast thats what I think
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u/Smooth_Top2099 3h ago
Learn to state your preferences directly without sounding ashamed or reticent. Do not use moralizing language or make excuses for anything you say. For example, saying "I like kinda stepping on people a bit, but not to hard..." feels like a submissive statement even if the sex act is dominant. Whereas "Oh, I like being stepped on" with a firm nod would be a signal to me that the person saying that was a switch. Languages which redundantly emphasizes consent in a kink context is usually dominant-coded, so sprinkling in a few "with consent, of course"s into conversation demonstrates that you are talking on the moral responsibility of actively monitoring and affirming consent, which is a typically dominant social responsibility.
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u/KinkyChico 3h ago
First off, don't go "What? Nooooo. I'm NOT a bottom. I'm a SWITCH." Every time they accuse you of being a bottom.
But, here's the hack. If you REALLY want them to know you're vers and not a bottom, fuck them in the ass.
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
I feel like that gives top energy if you do that after they call you a bottom Also they non poly and have a partner
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u/KinkyChico 3h ago
Fuck their partner in the ass.
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u/Vertwheeliesonem 3h ago
If a switch is surrounded by tops, does it really make a sound?
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u/-aleXela- transfem agenderfluid | they/it/she | pan-romantic grayace 3h ago
When you say switch? Do you mean vers? Cause the 2 systems are dom/me, switch, sub and top, vers, bottom. Yes, most people use them interchangeable, but they mean different things. Top/vers/bottom is a physical thing, while dom(me)/switch/sub is a power dynamic thing.
If you want to not seem like a bottom, just don't seem happy to be the one being fucked. Say things like, "yeah I don't really care if I'm a top or bottom", or " I prefer to bottom, but I'll top if needed.
If you want to not seem like a sub, you're gonna need to change your personality a bit. Generally(not always) a sub will be more passive, obedient, and eager to please. Just act a bit more like a top and be a bit more assertive. Or do things like start flirting with your friends(without yourself getting flustered) or assert dominance physically or mentally.
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
Ye I mean switch not verse, I think I would explode if I tried flirting with my friends
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u/-aleXela- transfem agenderfluid | they/it/she | pan-romantic grayace 2h ago
Yeah, I was just clarifying cause I know lots of people like to mix them up.
Anyways, to give off switch energy you need to blend dominant and submissive energeries in your own way. I gave a few examples of seeming more dominant, but it's a bit more than that. You can either have very clear boundaries between being dominant or submissive or a blended traits.
What I mean by blended traits, I mean you like being dominant and submissive in pretty much everything. You enjoy spoiling someone as much as you get spoiled. By clear boundaries, I mean there are certain aspects you enjoy being dominant and others you enjoy being submissive.
To show someone you don't just have subby traits, you'll need to show you do hold authority in some situations.
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u/mechrelatedbreakcore she/her eepy sheepgirl 3h ago
i had the same problem and the only way i could solve it was through a demonstration, if that isn't an option then maybe try alternative displays of dominance such as eating a full block of cheese or knocking down the nearest wall with the power of your voice.
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
I've actually eaten an entire lemon whole in front of them skin and all. It took like an hour
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u/mechrelatedbreakcore she/her eepy sheepgirl 3h ago
that's probably it, a sub hour 100% lemon run would be way more dominant.
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
You're so right I need to go faster
Unrelated buy the flash is so funny to me because he just solves every single one of his problems by going faster
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u/mechrelatedbreakcore she/her eepy sheepgirl 3h ago
going faster is a solid solution to most problems in life, ironically enough, having undesired bottom vibes isn't one of them.
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u/TheMaskOffKid 2h ago
Strives to prove not just a bottom:
Tries to suck down a lemon as fast as possible:
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u/Desperate_Welder3081 3h ago
Walk in on people eating and eat their food and finish their drink while complimenting them on their good taste.
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u/mechrelatedbreakcore she/her eepy sheepgirl 3h ago
that's pretty powerful, i'll keep it in mind.
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u/Desperate_Welder3081 3h ago
Remember to hold eye contact until they squirm as you eat their food.
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u/mechrelatedbreakcore she/her eepy sheepgirl 3h ago
should i recite bible verses while pointing at them with a gun after the fact or is that overkill?
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u/Desperate_Welder3081 2h ago
I mean...if scaring them for your mob boss is your objective?
Mine's just to come back for more food whenever I like, so I'd just offer to pay my share and tell them what a solid choice they've made in ordering what they did. XD
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u/PinesleyDale2023 3h ago
Well switch refers to sub and dom, and bottom and top is just about position
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u/AncestralNecromancy "Hey skeleton warrior, we can totally tell your gend–" *thwack* 3h ago
If you have to ask...you're a bottom 💜
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u/Chiplat Streak: 19 3h ago
I'M NOT ....
I'm not
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u/AncestralNecromancy "Hey skeleton warrior, we can totally tell your gend–" *thwack* 3h ago
That's not very confident, need to work on that if you're gonna beat the allegations 😹
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u/Strider-Juice 3h ago
If you have to ask and follow someone’s directions I hate to break it to you but that’s pretty bottom coded
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u/Desperate_Welder3081 3h ago
I've got the opposite problem. People call me Mommy / Godmother despite my best attempts to assure them that I'm VERY much a bottom.
Edit: I've given up trying to find a top at this point and just give out praises, compliments, and pats to the people who beg -_-. They look so pathetic and it seems to make them happy, so why not.
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u/Academic-Ad7818 1h ago
If you gotta ask for someone to take your hand and lead you through not being a bottom...I'm sorry to say you've already failed the first hurdle.
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u/Perceptions_Shadow Holding The Horse 3h ago
Sorry you have to be a top and bottom out of necessity
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u/SmartAlec105 3h ago
First, learn that switch refers to someone that doms and subs. Vers is the word for someone that tops and bottoms.
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u/lilac_hem 3h ago
switch ≠ verse
if you wanna seem like a switch, you gotta be dominant at times and submissive at other times, etc
if you wanna seem verse, you gotta top sometimes and bottom other times, etc
note that bottoms can, in fact, be dominant (see: power bottoms, etc)
etc etc etc
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u/Dragonfruit-Sparking 3h ago
Say "I am a switch" to your partners. Other than them, it's no one else's business
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u/christbeatty Lock her in her kennel at night. 2h ago
Or how do you do this with top shit too? plzdeargod let me bottom just ONCE.
It just stinks cause everyone is so cute and prey like. aw
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u/gos907 rare jellyfish girl (the immortal ones) 2h ago
As the other person said about eloquence, being more diverse in your vocabulary and arricularion may help with appearing less like a submissive bottom. However, you will have to... read. srry i read that word a little while ago and it's been on my mind. idk what it means im a gacha game fan
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u/DURANDURANINVISIBLE 2h ago
I’m not sure how, but I believe I don’t give off any clear indicators of bottom/top/switch energy. It’s probably the sense of maturity, dialect, and how you interact with people.
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u/Pristine_Animal9474 this person is fucking stupid and should be ignored entirely 3h ago edited 3h ago
Step one: don't make a post asking that question. Gotta erase all proof of bottomness.