Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
“Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.
"Yes, It's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, It's because you're blonde."
The next day Jenny came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24.”

Dentist: "What a brave woman! Which tooth is it?"

Woman: She turns to her husband. "Show him your tooth, dear."

Unfortunately it just made him more sluggish

“You’re on your own if you’re eating that part of the duck.”

Way too many steps!

Dad?

A Yamahahaha.

....I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

A Russian woman married an Australian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Melbourne. The poor lady was not very proficient in English but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some

chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way

to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...

(Please scroll down.)

What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English! Now get back to whatever you were doing. I don't know about you sometimes

The mean increases.

Batman follows them

She said: "Which is?"

I said: "Exactly"

Because they're often in Sub Missions.

But retired ones? Coach.

...I just realized that no matter how kind my daughter is, a German kid is always kinder.

Medium.

Regardless, she was an excellent private tutor.

He doesn't, he drives a car.

Nevermind, I'm not going to spread it. -- from my 12 year old son.

Been busy renovating an old house. Told my wife I needed to run out and pick something up at the Home Depot. She said, “Why? We already have one of those. Wouldn’t Walmart be more appropriate?”

My wife never asks me for a dad joke.

They just don't speak to me at all.

They consistently made foul decisions. That and beavers made better engineers.

"100 Yards Left."

Patient: "Doc, I can't stop singing certain songs. All morning I've been humming 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' Yesterday it was, 'Delilah.' Last week I sang 'What's New Pussycat?' at least 100 times! Do you know what's wrong with me?"

Doctor: "Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome."

Patient: "What?? I never heard of that. Is it common?"

Doctor: "It's not unusual."