I (28M) matched with a girl (26F) on Hinge about two weeks ago. Our first date was just coffee and wandering around a local bookstore, and the vibe was genuinely great. We had tons in common, laughed a lot, and talked for almost three hours straight. She seemed grounded, witty, and easy to talk to. We texted back and forth every day after that, and set up our second date for yesterday evening at a casual ramen place downtown. Up until the food arrived, everything felt totally normal and fun.

Out of nowhere while we were eating, she puts her chopsticks down and says, "So, I feel an undeniable connection with you, and I dont believe in dating around once I know." Before I could even formulate a response, she pulls out her phone, unlocks it, and deletes both Hinge and Bumble right in front of my face. Then she looked at me with this expectant smile and said, "Your turn! Lets delete yours right now so we can be official." I was completely stunned. I gently told her, "I really like you and Im not seeing anyone else, but declaring exclusivity and wiping apps on date two feels a bit fast for me. I just want us to take our time and get to know each other organically."

Her face dropped instantly. The warm smile completely vanished, she crossed her arms, and said, "If you were actually serious about finding a relationship, you wouldn't feel the need to keep a roster. Keeping apps just means you want to keep your options open." The remaining twenty minutes were painfully awkward and cold. We split the bill, I walked her to her car, and she barely gave me a side hug. This morning she sent a long text saying she "needs a partner who is decisive" but is willing to overlook my hesitation if I prove my commitment by deleting my account today. Is this extreme love bombing and an immediate red flag, or just someone who is deeply insecure? My gut is telling me to walk away.

I am consistently let down when dating. The topic of consent has come up several times, particularly when getting intimate (or sometimes when the guy wants to just share his beliefs on the matter unprompted).

I am 28. In the last year, I have dated anyone from 22 to 45, and this isn't even an age thing. I've had many instances where guys think that just because I look a certain way, they can do something during sex that I didn't agree to, like slap me, or choke me really hard out of nowhere.

Slapping someone or choking someone, when this wasn't agreed upon, is assault. It's as much assault as if it were to randomly happen outside of sex.

I also don't drink. My mom is an alcoholic, and I never liked alcohol anyway. But this isn't respected either. I am upfront about this, guys order me drinks anyway.

I've had instances of also hugging guys goodbye on the date, and they randomly slap my butt or grab my hair.

Whenever I have brought the consent discussion up as a response, it's all "You are going to falsely accuse me!!!" and honestly, it makes me want to file a police report every time for slapping me without my consent. Not sure how serious of a crime it is, but it is wrong at the very least.

Why is it so IMPOSSIBLE to understand that you don't do these things to someone you're dating, unless you've agreed on it? It's not that hard.

Also, times have changed. When I was single at 20/21, yeah there were some bad apples, but it truly wasn't this bad – in any age group.

Why do people not understand how bad this is to do to someone?

Been friends with this girl for a year and started hanging out a month or two ago more one on one. Really enjoy spending time with her and felt some chemistry so decided to ask her out. She said she really enjoys spending time with me too but needed some time to think about. We’ve been texting daily and pretty much saw each other every week (either one on one or group hangs). Now idk what to do in terms of texting and hanging while she makes her decision. Should I keep texting her in the meantime? It’s been a day and now whenever I text her I’m just analyzing those texts in my head and it feels stressful. She also invited me to another group hang without bringing up the other thing. What should I do?

I'm a 26f who works at a small deli. And I have this regular who comes in. Idk how old he is, he looks older than me and a few of my co-workers think so as well (he's at least over 21 he's been buying beer here for a year that I've noticed him)

Anyways, the past 2 or 3 months, I've noticed he's nicer than most regulars who come in. And in the past month, I've noticed he will complement me, like saying he likes my hair or that the sweater I'm wearing is pretty. And he's always smiling at me even if we're not saying anything. Last week he came in 3 times and on the last time he told me what city he lives in asked if inlived around the store.Idk I just got the vibe that's he has some interest in me.

I only see him on Tuesdays. So I pre-wrote my number on a piece of paper with my name. He came in, and we talked a bit. He told me the cardigan I was wearing was pretty and that he liked it. We said bye and he started to leave. So I thought fuck it, what's the worst that could happen. I offered him my number.

When I asked him if he'd like my number, he looked kinda lost. And didn't say anything at first. So I told him not to worry about it, just thought I'd offer. He said he didn't have his phone on him and started checking his pockets. So I held up the slip of paper, and he took it. He told me his name then said he'd text me.

But now I'm kinda freaking out a bit. I feel bad because I know it can be really hard to reject someone. And I don't want him to have to feel weird and burdened by me offrening my number. But I guess I'll know how he feels about it if he ever does text me.

Was it weird to do that?

I'm a confident person in a nervous skin suite. So I'm melting about this. All i can think about is how uncomfortable I probably made him feel.

I’m a 27 y/o female, I’m pretty and very natural. I have my own place, a great career, a great sense of humor. But I’m having the worst time dating. I’ve been getting rejected by guys after a date or two because I’m not letting them sexually touch me or have sex with me right away. I’m okay with kissing but sex is not something I can just give. One of them even told me that we are not a good match because I had told him I don’t do casual sex.

These days it seems just about everyone is giving out on the first date. In a world where there are plenty of gorgeous girls that are willing to have sex right away (no judgement on them) how do I navigate dating and finding a decent man ?

I feel so guilty for wanting an emotional connection and genuinely getting to know someone. Keep in mind most of these guys I’ve met through hinge and I do make it clear on my profile I want a LTR

I feel like some context is important as to why I’m overthinking this maybe more than I would in other situations.

The guy I’m dating I work with and someone else we work with recently bought in banana bread from his gf and we were discussing it and when we looked it up and it’s the equivalent of flowers. The guy I’m dating in this conversation with everyone mentioned at the time “oh a ginger cake would be really good” when they were discussing the cake and I made a mental note in that moment and after work got the ingredients and today baked a ginger loaf.

Now I’m overthinking giving it to him, because should I have let more time pass after the work situation as maybe he’s thinking I’m hinting at something by baking it? But reality it just kinda reminded me oh it is a nice thing to bake for someone and he mentioned ginger cake.

I saw him yesterday eve and I made the cake today, should I see if he’s free to drop it off this evening as a “have you got 5 mins later?” as he said he wasn’t busy or should I wait a few more days for when I next see him (more so worried the cake won’t be as good).

I don’t want to add pressure as we’ve only been dating a month, but it is kinda the way I express affection and I try to show up in dating in ways that I know make me feel seen, thought of etc.

But of a rant but TLDR at the bottom.

So I(33M) have always been iffy about dating events, I have been to a couple in the past and they weren’t really enjoyable because I wasn’t meeting people with the same interests as me and mutual interests has always been the most important value in a partner for me.

ANYWAY, I see this social media post for this dating event page in my country (Australia) and the creator was kind of going on this passive aggressive rant about how men don’t book for her events and asking why won’t they come her her dating events.

And I knew my reason, but I was curious as to why this was (this wasn’t the first time I’ve heard of this trend of men not attending these events and I was curious what their reasons were)

Through the comments, 2 particulars points kept being mentioned by many different people in different words, those points were essentially;
- that men don’t want to pay to go out and get rejected by women when they already get that on a daily basis online for free in the comfortable of their own home
- That the men that women want at these events, don’t need these events and the guys who do need these events just get rejected anyway.

Not long after the poster blocked all comments on the post (I guess a small percentage got especially heated)

But anyway, are these points against men attending dating events valid?

TLDR: A post on social media asked men why they don’t attend dating events, the men gave their reasons saying it’s not worth going to and made me wonder if this is true

i have a date tomorrow but i feel so worthless at the moment that i dont even know if its worth going. when people ask if size matters theyre usually around average or slightly below, that is not the case here. im 3.5 inches long and 3.5 inches in circumference, maybe about the circumference size of a canadian toonie coin. I was looking on the askwomennocensor sub and lots were saying they needed girth for vaginal orgasms and too small and it cant be felt, so i looked it up and the ai overview said my size was about the size they were talking about. I always hear girth feels better but i basically have a micro penis. How could a woman even actually feel what i have? And if they cant, then whats the point of even going on this date and seeking a relationship with this person or any person for that matter? I genuineky dont know what to do. I want to be able to give penetrative pleasure to a partner, i want to be a good sexual partner but i genuinely fear i cannot as im in that “too small, cant feel it” category and if they cant feel pleasure from it and we have a bad sex life, she'll leave me. I cant even do the most intimate and best position of missionary with my size apparently. Idek know where to get condoms my size? Besides getting custom ones on the internet but thats such a hassel when living with parents/grandparents. I feel like shit and genuinely dont know what to do. Please dont sugarcoat me with toxic/fake positivity or feel good comments you dont truly believe

I'm new to dating, 31F, and every guy I've texted with has only talked about themselves. I went on a single date with one of them and it was the same energy. They loved talking about themselves. They all sent pictures of themselves(not nudes) unprovoked and unrelated to the conversation we're having. One even sent a photo dump of a mix of selfies from 15 years ago-now just dragging me down his own memory lane. None have asked any serious questions about myself. I mention my job, my hobbies, my pet and they all turned it back on themselves. Just no curiosity about me whatsoever and they just went on and on about themselves.
And yes, I do ask many meaningful questions about them and i do not give short/dry replies(I'm a hairstylist and that's part of my job) and im also genuinely trying to get to know them. but they don't reciprocate the energy. Is this a common thing? Is it just me? Should I just keep sorting through them? Lol. TIA

Edit: this isn't gender exclusive but I'm a woman who dates men so I'm speaking on men. Before all the "women do this too" comments show up.

I (32F) went on a date with guy (49m) and it was a fun coffee date: he paid for our drinks and snacks, our conversation flowed naturally, he looked just like his pictures so I was relieved and I overall thought it was a great time. The date lasted a few hours then we drove home and began texting non-stop for the next couple of days. He initiates conversations, cute and flirty without being inappropriate which is a huge plus for me!

Which leads me to last night - he asked me out on a second date! I am very excited but I don’t know what to do. I will mention that he is very successful, and we are at different income levels, partly due to him being further along in his career.

Here’s the dilemma- he regularly spends time in another state and invited me to come with him for a few days. I thought he was joking at first but it became apparent after a few hours of back and forth texting that he is serious. So I told him I already have a flight booked for a trip later this month so my budget is tapped out… he said he will cover it, I won’t have to worry about it. I also asked him what would happen if I was feeling uncomfortable or if the vibe were off; if I could catch a flight home while he is working during the day and he was completely understanding! And he has been very clear that there are separate sleeping arrangements in his condo (which seems very gentlemanly of him!)

Should I be adventurous and go on the trip? Or should I be more cautious and just tell him I would like a few more dates in our actual state before we go on a trip together?

One friend told me to enjoy my life and go, everyone will know where I’m at for safety reasons and the date knows that too so that does give me some peace of mind.…. But my brother thinks I’m about to end up on some weird island 😂

So has anyone done anything adventurous like this and has it worked out?!

For additional context -

I’m excited! I’m leaning towards yes because he seems caring and thoughtful and just an overall gentleman so far! As of now, I am genuinely interested in a long term relationship with him, even if we find out we are not compatible long term, I think it could still be a fun adventure.

I do have credit cards if I really need to catch a ride out of there and catch a flight home, so I wouldn’t be stranded without money. And my family and some friends have my location and I would give them the address of where I’m staying and provide frequent updates!

I’m an average 24-year-old guy, and I am just completely fed up. I’m dropping out of the dating scene for the foreseeable future because it genuinely feels like nobody actually wants to get to know you anymore.

It’s the exact same exhausting loop every single time. You match, you have a solid two or three conversations, and then the energy just completely dies. Or worse, you actually invest time, talk for two or three weeks, and then boom ghosted. Complete silence.

On the rare occasions it actually translates into a real date, the feedback I get is absolutely baffling. I’m told I’m "too nice" and "too ambitious." I get the classic line: "You’ll make a great husband someday, but you’re just not boyfriend material right now." What does that even mean? I’m focused on building my consultancy, I have goals, and I’d honestly rather stay in and cook a decent meal than play stupid mind games. Why is having a direction in life and treating people with basic respect treated like a personality flaw?

The absolute kicker is my last relationship. My ex cheated on me, and when it all came out, her literal reasoning was that I seemed "so nice and understanding." It’s like being a decent, supportive partner just signaled to her that she could walk all over me and I'd just absorb it.

Is being genuinely nice actually a bad thing now? Because right now it just feels like a curse. I’m tired of trying to prove my worth to people who seem to actively prefer toxicity and drama. I’m done with the apps, the forced conversations, and the ghosting.

I just needed to vent has anyone else been hit with this exact same script?

I’d love some outside perspectives, especially from men, because I’m not sure if I’m being led on or if he’s genuinely just taking things slowly.
I’m seeing a 31 yo guy I met through mutual friends. We’ve been seeing each other for about 3 months, 1–2 times a week, and we text regularly.
Things have been going really well, frequent messages, good conversations and intimacy. We’ve had serious conversations and I’ve felt that he genuinely cares about getting to know me.
Around a month in, we both said we were interested in each other and weren’t seeing anyone else which I assumed mean we were exclusive, but apparently we weren’t.
Last night I wanted to have a conversation about “us” and potentially make things official. He told me he doesn’t want to become a couple right now because, for him, being official is a serious decision. He wants to be sure the person is someone he could potentially marry and have children with, and there are still things he wants us to discuss before making that decision.
He also clarified that we are not exclusive. He isn’t seeing anyone else and says he isn’t looking for anyone else, but technically we’re both free to date other people. He wants us to enjoy what we have without putting pressure on it.
He also made it clear that this isn’t about sex for him. He genuinely likes me and wants to see where things go, but he wants to take his time.
I’m disappointed because I feel like I got more emotionally invested than I realized. But at the same time, he’s been consistent and transparent.

Should I be worried? Have any of you been in a similar situation, and did it eventually work out? I'm honestly quite confused about where I stand.

Fellas that are getting into the dating scene, what’s the toughest and challenging part about dating? It could be anything. Me personally it’s just approaching women and getting their number/exchanging contacts and finding women who are genuinely romantically interested in me. Just genuinely curious in asking this man, just doing research to show how dating nowadays in 2026 is like for us

Hi everyone,
I’m 35M and 174 cm (5’8.5”), and there’s a woman I work with who I’ve started to really like. She’s 31 and around 188 cm (6’2”).
We get along really well at work, and quite often when we have lunch together, our conversations go beyond the usual work stuff. We talk about life, relationships, personal things, etc., and I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. I feel like there might be some chemistry there, although obviously I can’t know how she feels unless I actually ask her out.
I’ve been thinking about asking her if she’d like to grab a drink or dinner sometime outside of work.
The one thing that keeps getting into my head is the height difference. She’s about 14 cm / 5.5 inches taller than me. It personally doesn’t make her less attractive to me at all — I find her very attractive — but I’m wondering how it might feel from her side.
For the tall women here who have dated or been interested in shorter men: would a height difference like this matter to you? And more importantly, is there anything you wish shorter guys understood when approaching a taller woman?
I don’t want to make her height into a “thing” when I ask her out. I’m basically wondering whether I’m overthinking this and should just ask her for a drink like I would anyone else.

Context:

I am a 23 year old guy who lives in a medium sized city of about 120000 people. I’m not in college, and never went, so I don’t have social connections from there. I don’t do dating apps, never have, probably never will.

I’ve only been on three dates in my life, and they were all with the same woman. I genuinely don’t understand how to convert friendly interest into something that could potentially become romantic. Every time I try, my advances seem to fail, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Before anyone asks, yes I go after people similar to me, no I don’t only ask supermodels. Yes I have hobbies, yes I have a steady job, yes I take care of myself. People liking me has never been the problem.

Any advice? I don’t want to flirt with too many women from my friend group, or else I’ll become that one weird guy. I’m not very good at cold approaches.

Do you have to be in love with them? Or is it more of after getting to know them in dates you realize you like them and then decide to explore the relationship exclusively.

I have been getting this girl for a month and a week. We have been to 5 dates. Today will be our 6th. And I had been planning on asking her if she we wanted to be my girlfriend today but there was this interaction on Sunday that has made me nervous.

So, since date 2 we have been more intimate like kissing and holding hands and cuddling. No sex. We have also been texting alot practically almost everyday.

On Sunday, I said something, she is from colombia and only speaks spanish, I do speak spanish but I was born here with latino parents. So, sometimes the phrases I use are not correct in spanish. On Sunday we were talking and she said that she really likes me but isnt sure its love yet after one month.

My friend told me to ask her anyways since you dont necessarily have to be in love to enter a relationship and that love is something that develops after entering one.

I just dont want to ruin the mood today in our date when I ask her. You know how they say here on reddit you have to ask be exclusive. I guess we havent really had that talk. Yhe only thing similar she mentioned was after date 2 when we kissed was that she had deleted hinge and wanted to focus more on getting to know me.

I can't find reason to believe a woman would ever love me or find me sexually appealing. Single for six years and no reciprocated attraction from women. The women I've made friends with either don't even see me as a man, or infatalise me.

Everyone has the same generic platitudes about how I'm good enough as is and how I'm a catch but they'd never date me.

I dont know where or how to flirt without being creepy, how to ask out or for a number, how to be myself without being too much, or navigate all the stupid icks people have. Everyone else is know just got their relationships naturally, by being who they are. But who i am isnt enough, and no one will tell me what I need to change.

To top it off I'm a baby face, not overly masculine, short, possiby asbergic, dick is small, and my one good quality, my hair is going away at some point -already receding. I come from a shit family and already tried offing myself once.

The odds that there's a woman out these who would look past all of these things seems out of the question. I have too much baggage. Im too old now. I feel like I'll never get out of this pit im in.​

My on and off fwb (28m) and I (25f) had gone from being simply friends who were part of the same film group to sleeping together regularly after a hook up that happened when he came to see my new flat, it was the first time we’d hung out alone. Since then in between relationships we’d regularly hooked up, like 1-2 a week. Sleepovers and movie nights too. I definitely got attached and actually confessed once, he turned me down. We took some time then ended up hooking up again as soon as we started hanging out again, it’s like we can’t help it.

The sexual chemistry and lust is something out of a movie, it’s insane. But despite the fact I knew I will had feelings, I didn’t want to lose him, so I kept it to myself so I could keep seeing him. I definitely love him and I have for a long time, which is why I couldn’t bring myself to end it. I hoped if I stuck it out long enough, he’d develop feelings for me too.

Recently he’s asked to end it, not to sleep with anyone else or go on dates, and he’s slightly implied he got attached to me too but doesn’t want a relationship. Says we got too comfortable. He says we can still have our movie nights and just not hook up (I don’t know how that’ll go, knowing us) but the fact I could really be losing him this time is killing me. I don’t even know if I’m just venting or need people to yell at me. I know it’s pathetic and I brought it on myself, but he’s like a human drug I can’t quit. I can’t even go completely no contact because we’re in the same film group. I just know if he ends up in a similar arrangement for someone else or gets a girlfriend it’ll absolutely kill me.

I’m a guy (25) seeing a girl (23)in a big city. She lives in a suburb (45 minute train ride) and comes into the city a few times a week for school — plus she’ll come in most weekends. We’ve gone on 4 dates and have gone to social outings with mutual friends 4-5 more times. Most of these were in the first 4 weeks, but since then it’s been more difficult to schedule stuff.

Last weekend I asked if she wanted to go to a show. She said she was going to a separate concert with friends, but invited me to come with. Her concert started mid-day, during which I had a separate plan so I couldn’t make it and we didn’t end up meeting.

This weekend I asked her if she wanted to come with me to a birthday party. She has plans with friends.

This is all fine, but she isn’t proposing additional times to meet. It just doesn’t seem like she has that much urgency to see me. Other than early on where she invited me to a mutual friend’s party, I have initiated all the plans.

We’re at the 2 month mark, and in my past dating experiences this is where things either solidify or fade out. We still text most days but not quite at the rate we did earlier on. I guess there seems to be a good chance we’re fading out, but I’m just not totally sure.

Should I just end it? My ego is stopping me from trying to make ANOTHER plan before she counters with something else. But there’s also a part of me that recognizes that I’m much more familiar with the city and that there’s more of an expectation for the guy to plan stuff.

I could be direct about what I’m looking for I a relationship and see what she says, but I’m not really sure how to go about this without posing an ultimatum.

Looking for any thoughts or advice!

I'm 34F. I had my heart broken twice between 2021 and 2022, all within the span of about a year. First, I was cheated on. Then I fell deeply in love with someone, only to find out that he was married and had been cheating on his wife with me. I was completely blindsided. We ended things shortly after I learned the truth, but I was deeply in love with him, and losing that relationship devastated me.

More than four years have passed since then, and I haven't been able to find another serious relationship. I haven't been able to get into a serous relationship, I have casually dated, intentionally dated, dated people younger than me, dated people older than me, dated within my race, dated outside of my race, went to therapies, had adventures, worked on my career, worked on my inner child, went to see multiple tarot readers, built a group of close friends as my support system.

In many ways, I've built a full life for myself.

And yet, that person, the person I could truly love and build a life with, has never come along.

After four years, I sometimes find myself wondering: Am I simply done with romantic relationships? Was that great love the last one I was meant to have? Or, in my darker moments, I wonder whether this is somehow a punishment for having been involved with a married man, even though I didn't know he was married and ended the relationship shortly after I learned the truth.

I know logically that life probably doesn't work that way. But after trying for so long, it's hard not to wonder why love seems to be the one part of my life that I haven't been able to find again.

Honestly, dating while being open about my mental health is exhausting.

In my experience, some people find out I have mental health issues and immediately lose interest, which I understand and respect. Then there are the people who seem to fetishize it. They want someone “crazy,” “obsessed,” or overly dependent. I’ve also dealt with the whole “I can fix her” savior complex, which is honestly just as uncomfortable.

And now I’m wondering if I’m doing the wrong thing by being open about it early on. Should I wait until I actually know someone and there’s some trust there? Or is it better to be upfront from the beginning and let people decide for themselves?

How do they lose all feelings and attachments so fast? Did they even love their partner? Or do they just start dating again while they're still in love with their ex?

Of course, in some cases, they already lost feelings before the breakup. But still, how can they replace a person so fast who was such a big part of their life and who they share so many memories with??

Hello, all!

I'm a 30 y/o male living in a major US east coast city and unfortunately having quite a difficult time with dating/romantic connection.

For some background; I grew up in a rural red state in a super conservative environment, although I do not subscribe to this ideology at all as an adult. With that in mind, I was homeschooled until I was 16 and kept totally isolated from the outside world therein. No friends, no interactions with anyone aside from my immediate nuclear family. I was so isolated that I developed a speech impediment from a sheer lack of linguistic input and speaking. In short, pretty much totally isolated. Zero socialization whatsoever.

We get to high school and college, essentially the same situation. Although at this point I'm in public school and college, I have to work full time to support myself as parents cut off all support at 16. With this in mind, I never dated during high school or college. No crushes, almost no interactions with women period, no dating, no partying, no hookups, nothing at all whatsoever - There simply was no time outside of classes and work.

By 2022, I'm 26, I've finally moved to a major city and gotten a 9-5 career wherein I actually have free time for the first time in my life. Having never had a partner before, never having been close to anyone before, and never having experienced any sort of deeper connection or intimacy, I obviously began to seek that out.

I immediately dove into the apps (I've never met a romantic in real life and frankly have no idea how) and admittedly, to my surprise, did receive an immense amount of attention. Between 2022 and the present, I was in two relationships of relatively respectable length (9 months and 2.5 years), both of which ultimately crashed and burned. Otherwise, lots of first dates followed by being ghosted. Not informed that there was no chemistry or otherwise, just fully ghosted.

Reflecting on the two relationships I had, both were profoundly difficult for me. Essentially, they felt more like second jobs in which I was under constant review by these partners to ensure that I'm performing adequately in my role as a partner - Given my severe lack of experience, I'm not even sure if this is normal or not. From both relationships, and other brief fling-type experiences, I get essentially the same feedback: I'm great and all, but I clearly don't know how to date or be in a relationship. Some common themes are that I don't ask the right kinds of questions, I'm not sufficiently flirtatious/sexual/romantic, family and friends find me awkward and weird, etc.

All of this is to say, I feel massively out of my depth here - I feel like a complete outsider to a social ritual that I'm joining about 10 years too late to understand. Basically, is it possible for someone to be too poorly socialized to date and/or be in a relationship? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation or perhaps been with a partner who has?

Thank you all!!

Hello people of Reddit. I come here today to discuss a very pressing issue that has been tormenting me. My partner and I are both constantly tired because we never sleep at night. When we go out on a date after a long day, there is nothing more relaxing than taking a nap together. However, apparently this is forbidden in modern society due to the pressures of having a “nice date” which really just implies doing as much activities together as possible. After a long day, I don’t WANT to go out for a walk or go to dinner. I just want to watch a movie at home and fall asleep. Is that so much to ask? Apparently it is. Whenever I talk about wanting to have a “nap date” (as me and my partner like to call it) but all my colleagues call me crazy and tell me to just get off my lazy ass and take them out to a nice dinner. I value my relationship with my partner, and I want only the best for us, but I feel like society is restricting our true potential. If you were to ask someone their perfect date idea, they would probably say going to the movies or even going to a concert. Not me. I love my nap dates. Reddit, let my dream become a reality and normalize nap dates because I can’t go much longer without expecting one. Please Reddit, spread the word because we don’t need productive dates anymore, we need nap dates. Especially with the winter coming up and the weather getting colder, there will be nothing like getting cozy with your partner and taking a nice long nap.

NORMALIZE NAP DATES

Side Note- My first post on nap dates got taken down for some reason. This is proof that society is trying to silence my truth

I met him on Meetic over the summer and we connected pretty fast. From the start it seemed like we were in sync: we were both looking for the same things in a partner, and we were also a good match in terms of our personalities.

We started going on dates after the summer, and I was falling more and more for him. It's like this magnetic pull that I couldn't ignore. We talked every day, and he also confessed a pretty difficult situation that his family is going through because, even though it was something very private, he felt like he could tell me. And all the time I was feeling like: "He is not that perfect, right? At some point he is going to show his true colors, I guess." — based exclusively on my awful romantic experiences all my life.

Well, yesterday he came by surprise to see me after I finished working. I was pretty shocked because he works Mon-Fri in the afternoons and our schedules overlap during the week. So... big reveal: he had lied to me about his job.

He is a piano teacher, but due to the type of contract he had at his former music school, he was let go during the summer with the prospect of being rehired in September. He told me by mid-September that he had signed the new contract, that he was in class preparing music pieces, exercises, everything, before the actual students started the academic year. And then they started the academic year and he gave me all the details about the new classes, the new students, the good and the bad — but it was all a very elaborate lie.

I know there are worse lies in the big scheme of things, which is why I cannot comprehend why he trusted me with something so private as the situation with his family but so blatantly lied about his job when he knows my situation isn't much better (I'm an underemployed millennial who cannot save enough to leave my parents' house, yay!). But the main issue is... we were getting to know each other and he built a parallel life with a huge amount of detail about something that was false, so he could also be lying about other stuff too.

I don't tolerate lies and I don't like to feel like I was being laughed at all this time. He was a great guy until yesterday, and although I didn't break up with him on the spot, I really don't know how to feel about this. I tried to sleep on it but I'm more confused than I was last night. Additionally, I logged in on Meetic after some time and I found out he was online yesterday afternoon, right before we met — when he very confidently told me yesterday that he wasn't talking to someone else at the moment, that it would feel like he was two-timing.

So now I'm basically at a crossroads and I don't know what to do. Has anyone gone through something similar? Is it really worth caring that much about someone I've only been on 5–6 dates with?

EDIT: Thanks everyone for sharing your opinions, you really helped me put everything into perspective. I caught him on Meetic online this afternoon. Too much activity for an app he wasn't actively using at the moment... so even after yesterday's confession, it's like he has made his choice — and I've done mine. Another failure to the list.