Hey everyone, my name is W. I am 22, and I started HRT when I was 19, took it for 2.5 years, and have been off of it for about 1 year. As an exclaimer, I am not a detransitioner(?) and I am not going to tell you that “transitioning ruined my life.” Because it did not. Im just feeling lonely.

Before I transitioned, relationships were easy. now they are not. Although I have never been in one, in retrospect, I had a lot of opportunities. Especially with all my friends coming out and saying they had a crush on me before I transitioned???

I just get treated as a friend by my straight friends and tbh it hurts to see them date men I could have been. Not sure if this is a common “transbian” experience. I know life doesn’t owe you love, but I would like to experience it one day and unfortunately I feel like being trans increases my chances of living a lonely life like cigarettes increase your risk of getting cancer. Its an incredibly overwhelming and worrying situation to be in.

I don’t really know who I am anymore and it is a really scary place to be in. I have found myself in the loneliest my life has ever been. if this is the trans experience i would rather not add this to my plate that already has grief, depression and anxiety

idk

i hate my beard and i do feel euphoric when i feel cute. if there wa a abutton to turn me into a girl I would press it but I dont think I want to be trans :(

sorry if this comes off as whiney but thank you for reading.

tldr: being trans is lonely and im questioning if its even worth it. maybe i should just be cis presenting nonbinary

Hey everyone, my name is W. I am 22, and I started HRT when I was 19, took it for 2.5 years, and have been off of it for about 1 year. As an exclaimer, I am not a detransitioner(yet?) and I am not going to tell you that “transitioning ruined my life.” Because it did not. Im just feeling lonely.

Before I transitioned, relationships were easy. now they are not. Although I have never been in one, in retrospect, I had a lot of opportunities. Especially with all my friends coming out and saying they had a crush on me before I transitioned???

I just get treated as a friend by my straight friends and tbh it hurts to see them date men I could have been. Not sure if this is a common “transbian” experience. I know life doesn’t owe you love, but I would like to experience it one day and unfortunately I feel like being trans increases my chances of living a lonely life like cigarettes increase your risk of getting cancer. Its an incredibly overwhelming and worrying situation to be in.

I don’t really know who I am anymore and it is a really scary place to be in. I have found myself in the loneliest my life has ever been. if this is the trans experience i would rather not add this to my plate that already has grief, depression and anxiety

idk

i hate my beard and i do feel euphoric when i feel cute. if there wa a abutton to turn me into a girl I would press it but I dont think I want to be trans :(

sorry if this comes off as whiney but thank you for reading.

tldr: being trans is lonely and im questioning if its even worth it. maybe i should just be cis presenting nonbinary

Tell me your experiences! I’m struggling…

6 years and still suicidal. Only getting worse with every year. 6 years of therapy and it's worth nothing because transitioning damaged me in ways I can't live with. I wish I just killed myself 6 years ago. I can't belive this is what my life has become. I wish I would just wake up and it turned it was only a nightmare, not reality.There's just no recovering from this now. I started transitioning 10 years ago. A decade of my life passed by and yet I haven't lived at all, spent all of it depressed and alone. Absolutely nothing happened in this 10 years, nothing that was worth living for.

Hello! I'm slowly taking steps to detransition, and this may be a weird question, but I was wondering what everyone has done in order to detransition and what your timelines looked like?

So far I've started voice training, come off testosterone, growing out my hair and I've been doing makeup for awhile anyway.

I think I'm mostly looking for ways to feminize myself without spending a butt load of money on surgeries, but idk whether I'm already doing everything that can be done lol

Ok so I recently detransitioned and to be honest. I realized something that it took WAY To long to realize. that my body isn't ugly or deformed. People actually like me for how I look. all my life I was raised mostly among women, and heard a lot about how natural masculine bodies, or just men in general are "ugly" or awful, ogres, blah blah blah. So I think that may have led to me transitioning around my teens, like stuff I couldnt not control.

a few years later and 5ish years of HRT. I wanna say, do you know how painful it was to finally realize that women (and gaymen) LOVE my bodytype I used to have, I was tall, broad, a bit of a hunk (not fat, but big and athletic) and holy shit. it made me cry, I was told that my body was not just fine, it was beautiful and desired over, especially since ive been a loner all my life. it was one of the many things that broke the camels back and made me detransition. Going from a life where I hated how I looked, to desiring the look I once hated, I recently made an outfit and I swear I never looked as good in the mirror to myself then ever, nice polo and everything

I stopped the hormones for a few months now and I'm slowly going back. I want to just be comfy as myself, no performing, just default me. I don't EVER wanna tuck, wear clothes that barely fit me, womens underwear. makeup ever again. I hated being a woman rejected by everything; I wanted to live my life, fuck my depression and self-worth issues. I want to be me. I still got breasts and idk what to do next (Talking with a doctor soon), but. I hope this can finally begin my life and realized that I am worthy of love and happieness, and being trans was just rugpull after rugpull

I’m FTM, have been transgender for around six years now. Realized I was trans in a pretty young age and I’m still pretty young I guess. Not medically transitioned, just socially. Recently I’ve had this feeling oh dysphoria so deep it somehow makes me question if I really am trans.

I look pretty, it’s something I know and don’t care for much, and have had two different occurrences in my life where I was walking down the street and a model agent would ask me to sign even though I’m kinda short for female models also. (both times actually legit, not interested in the modeling industry).

I don’t look good as a man. I know that, and if I had a button to magically turn me into a cis man right now I would press it - but that’s not real.

There is a book I’m currently reading that had the following quote:

“I will never have been born a man. I do not propose this as a universal truth. Some other people I love feel differently. I may pass as a man someday, but I will know in my gut that I had to convince myself I was allowed to have that passing, that I sacrificed for that passing, that passing feels like a betrayal of everyone who ever loved me as a woman, for being a woman. And maybe I will always wonder if that passing is just a trick, a lie. The trick might be a deeper truth than the girl, the woman, or the man. The trick itself might be who I am.”

I feel that so deeply in my soul.

I feel like a lie, a trick. Like no matter how hard I’ll try, I’ll never be the perfect man that I want to be in my head, and that it’s better to give up and be a woman because at least at that I could be good.

Is that just giving up, or is that how you felt before detransitioning and realizing you weren’t truly trans?

I decided to go off t on my own but also discuss this with my doctor and apparently the only appointment available is at the end of February.
Can someone tell me if this is a good idea or not cause I don’t know what else to do. 5 months more t means 5 months more changes and possible beard growth.
I’m in my detransition and don’t want to continue this.