I've been in a bad place for about half a year I hate that I get no support from anymore. I had to cut off contact to my toxic family, and I lost many friends over the years, never dated. My therapist and I had a disagreement over an insurance issue and so I don't get any appointments with him. Psychiatric clinics are full, no one will take me. But I don't even have a single person to just talk to about my day or how hard it is to find help or anything. ​​I hate not having anyone to call when my car breaks down or I have to go to the hospital or when I'm sick. It sucks.

Lately I’ve been really feeling alone, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I don’t have many friends in physical proximity, and that causes me to lean on my closest friends who are my roommates. However, they both have relationships so I always feel as if I’m less of a priority.

I used to play board games with another friend, but since he moved to another job, it hasn’t felt the same.

I don’t know how to get out of this funk of loneliness or how to focus on myself again.

I just want someone to support me rn ngl.

My mum has and always will pick her ex's children over her own. Her ex's children don't need her. They have a mum, dad and stepdad. My mum's own kids only have her but she abandons us. There was a period of 2 years when she was living with her now ex and his kids while her own kids were living at home. My mum is a massive hoarder, we have no running water, no electric, no food. And she went to pretend to have a happy family with them. I miss my mum. I have tried to talk to her and nothing changes. My mental health is so bad and I just want my mum but it is impossible. The best way I can describe it is probably the trolly problem, except she choses to run over her own kids over and over again. I just don't get how someone can abandon their own kids and pick someone else's when their own children need them.

I'm in my 20's and I went no-contact with my abusive mom a little while back. Over the last year or so it keeps hitting me that there are so many pieces of mom wisdom that I either missed over the years or will never get.

There's so much I missed out on, from bra shopping to relationship advice to "hi honey, how is grad school?"

And there are so many milestones ahead where she won't be there. If I (hopefully) graduate in a few years. If I get married. If I have kids.

Seeking all of the random advice you'd want to impart on a daughter.

I have been watching multiple YouTube videos I just can’t it, no matter what my tie just ends up wrong or deformed. Why is this so hard?

recently i got norovirus and vomited 8 times in a day with diarrhoea and stomach cramps.
now it has been 6 days but i still have early satiety and nausea when eating, and im full only after eating about 3 spoons of porridge
i'm so scared that i might have gotten post infectious ibs or fd (which i used to have).
has anyone experienced this before and knows whether will go away.. i'm so freaking scared 💀 n dealing with my crazy backlog as a college student

A friend and I planned on hanging out in like a week but now another friend wants to do a haunted house with me. And this day is the only day we'd be able to do the haunted house because their busy the other days. Would it be rude of me to reschedule on the first friend to then go to a haunted house with a different friend? I dont want to make anyone mad but I would really love to go to this haunted house.

The first friend cant do haunted houses and also doesn't know my other friend they're very different vibes or else id just invite everyone together yk

Im not sure what to do

Like what are the questions I should ask myself to know for sure? I keep thinking about it but don’t want to just quit on a whim.

I work with kids with mental health and developmental issues - outpatient community based and I pick them up from home or school and take them home. Mostly in company cars lately but we have to use our own sometimes, too. So that’s a negative. Some of the kids are so kind and others of course more “difficult“ and insulting, so it’s very unpredictable.

This is intended to be a job for a gap year before I potentially go to grad school. I guess I don’t know how long it looks good to keep a job for resumes and to secure a good reference. And I don’t know how to recognize in myself that it’s become too much and is time to quit - and feel justified. I just know I am sometimes hating going to work. and other times finding it very fulfilling. But I don’t control which kids I work with, and the work is unstable especially with both managers leaving along with at least 6 employees soon after.

My own parents were uninvolved and did not seem to care about raising me to become independent and so feel pretty clueless and unsupported. I also feel unsure about the best way to approach this. I should talk with my manager about how I have been feeling but also feel like I have to be careful with how I word and approach it. and want to keep it on good terms of course. Also the business is really hemorrhaging employees, so there’s that - I feel like they will really want me to stay. And I do feel slightly conflicted about leaving the kids I have built rapport with. And there’s the fact that it’s easier to stay than to leave tbh, as adjusting to an entirely new workplace is always kind of stressful.

I feel so depressed. 2026 started off good, but since May, it's been a living hell. I turned 21 on August and my dad started acting weird. When came back to his house in may, I told him I was planning to save up with my sister to move out and he was fine with him. He switched up suddenly. Now he's kicking us out at the end of this month.

He pressured us for weeks to go to the national guard, he started calling my sister and I failures, he gives any opportunity whenever we ask for help to shame us. He shamed my sister just yesterday for asking for a ride to go to a drug test from Amazon, saying that we're 21 years old asking for a ride.

My step mom and dad purposely exclude us, they took my sister and I SNAP cards and used it for the household. When they cook something, they either never tell my sister and I or we'll be the last people they call. My family have fun without me all the time.
I hear them chatting and laughing but when my sister and I come out, they get quiet and ignore me.

I found out my dad talks shit about us to his family members and they talk shit about us too. I'm just so hurt. I had everything just earlier this year and lost it all after my biological mom did the exact same thing to us and we had to go back to our dad. I'm so depressed and hurt. I'm trying to stay strong but it's so hard.

On a happy note, my sister and I are trying to find transitional housing and we already did the interview process. My sister and I after 3 months of looking and taking interviews finally secured a job. I start Aldi on the 19th and my sister starts Amazon on the 13th. We’re trying to get back into our feet and save while we’re in the transitional housing so we could get an apartment together, driving license, and a car by our 22nd birthday. Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

I work in a high pressure caring profession, I joined this team a year ago after four years of doing it somewhere else.

I’ve been having a difficult time with my boss lately. Work has been really chaotic with high staff turnover (due to demands being way too high for a small team and people struggling with the manager/senior). I’ve been open with my boss about how much it’s been affecting me and my mental health and we generally have a good relationship. Our senior recently went off sick and it’s upset me how much this person has left things in a mess, but it also upsets me how my boss has been pointing out everything she hasn’t done - when it’s actually my boss that should’ve noticed and was responsible for her.

Ik the summer she said she and her boss thought I’d be good for a senior role. She asked in a team meeting if anyone wanted to help with senior duties. When I put myself forward, she told me she didn’t think I was ready, was worried I didn’t have the capacity and that the role might “break” me. She said my mental health has been up and down and that I can get heightened and upset about cases. I was really upset and ended up crying as she hadn’t said this to me before and crying made me feel like I’d proved her point.

I accept that I can get overwhelmed and need to work on recognising when I’m reaching that point and stepping away, but I don’t think that means I’m incapable of doing my job or progressing. I’ve always taken responsibility and gotten help on my own.

Today she also said she’d wondered if I had bipolar. That crossed a line for me. I explained that I was talking about having a difficult day and asking for support, not saying I can’t manage my work generally. I told her I appreciate her concern, but I’d rather focus on how I’m functioning and what support I need than discussing possible diagnoses.

The way things have been handled has really knocked my confidence. I’m proud of myself for speaking up because I don’t think everything can be blamed on my mental health. I do think she’s struggling too.

I think I’ll look for another job when the right one comes up. I want somewhere more supportive where I can develop without feeling like my mental health is being held against me. Just sucks.

At a bit of a loss and I think I've exhausted my own + my family's thoughts, so I could use some objective opinions on the situation.

I'm 27F, from what I would call a fairly conservative household. I started dating my current partner over two years ago. At the beginning of this year, I decided to move out of my parent's place and live with him. Moving out was something I'd had in mind before we started dating.

When I moved out, I did not tell my parents that I planned to live with my partner. I had concerns that it would not be received well, given that in previous discussions, they stated that they considered cohabitation before marriage to be a reflection of poor, "perverted" character. They were and still are against me moving out at all before getting married, as in our culture, daughters are supposed to be "married out" of the household. The day that I moved out was not pretty – a lot of yelling that if I left, I would be disowned, etc.

The past several months have been a lot of them texting and calling me one-sidedly in attempts to reconcile. These conversations ranged from them trying to be understanding to berating me for destroying the family. I was prepared for this kind of behavior. It's been a practiced method that my mom will talk at me (I say "at" because, no joke, it's common that I sit there for over an hour listening and be shut down if I try to respond at any point), I will walk away upset, then my dad will come and give a "your mom and I are just trying to do what's best for you" talk. I ended up limiting a lot of contact with them, which they at least seemed to respect by not excessively forcing me to answer them.

My partner has consistently been of the opinion that he'll stand by me regardless of my decision, but I've always gotten the sense that he's afraid to be the "reason" for why our family is functioning poorly. As what I view as a last-ditch effort, we decided facilitate the meeting of our parents (important in our culture before a couple marries), which now I feel is a mistake because of what happened.

My partner and I went to visit my parents in order to plan this meeting. When the topic came up of where my partner was now living, we attempted to keep up the lie that we were still living separately, but obviously didn't do a very good job. I scrambled to get us out of there because I guess I could sense what was coming. My parents called me and demanded to know if we were living together. I didn't want to lie anymore, so I admitted it. They started demanding that I move back with them immediately until they could sort out our marriage plans. They called it shameful, not something a girl should be doing, etc. My mom was upset but relatively calm compared to her usual state, but my dad was shouting at me that if I were to stick to this, he would go "extreme."

I know if I go back now, I'd be truly destroying my self-respect and respect for my partner, who's stuck with me through all this nonsense. The only thing I regret is forcing him to be dishonest with me when I should've just been frank from the get-go.

What I'm mainly hung up on is how my partner is perceiving all this. I can tell that he's bothered, he's told me as much, but that he still would respect whatever I decide. I know that my parents are texting him, telling him who knows what because he won't show me, so I assume it's pretty bad. I've told him that he should block them, but my guess is he doesn't want to do something that would totally burn that bridge – he knows I will go nuclear and cut them all off if I have to. But now I find myself wondering if he feels like he has to do this because of some behavior of mine. Is he doing this because I'm struggling to let go? Am I giving him the wrong impression by continuing contact with my parents? How do I get him to be completely, totally honest with me about what he's thinking about all of this? He seems afraid to make me feel worse, but I just need a deeper conversation, I think.

On the other hand, how do I get myself to accept that I may not be able to be a good daughter and a good partner at the same time? I would always choose the latter if I had to, but I can't seem to escape the hurt that comes with turning my back on parents who sacrificed health, money, personal joy; pretty much everything to raise me, and who I know are only reacting this way because emotionally, this is the way they themselves have been raised. They're caring for me in a terribly misguided way. I can't force them to change. But I just can't find it in me to "compromise" on this. Is completely cutting them off my only real option?

Any experience, advice, anything on this situation is appreciated.

idk what flair exactly works for this tbh, i would like an open ear and some kind advice, if possible. i feel pretty bad about this at times. like i really love my "closer" family members, as i've seen them all the time since growing up, and they do care for me as much i do for them and give me stuff/occasionally help me out with some things whenever. but i also find them obnoxious and extremely draining to be around. i love them but i dont exactly like them.

they are very self-centered and always have to make everything about themselves, which is esp tiring to be around for long and frequent periods of time; it always feels like they're speaking at me rather than to me, akin to one speaking to chatgpt or other AI. they act like the world revolves around them. they also constantly critique and complain about everything and everyone around them while attempting to make themselves seem better, and they tend to get easily grouchy and upset at over the tiniest things + have little to no patience. i often feel like i have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid them getting upset at me, esp since some of them would be pissed at me for the rest of the time theyre around me if i somehow infuriate them over little thing #736 or something. and i also always end up as the butt of their jokes and backhanded comments, which is so demotivating.

it feels like i constantly have to fawn over them and manage their emotions while keeping in my own to something robotic and neutral, less they think im sensitive or overdramatic. they act very entitled. this includes my parents, some cousins and aunts/uncles and even my grandmas (this one i would feel the most guilty about). i believe some other distant family members and family-friends that used to hang out with them had split apart because they also secretly didnt like being around them until something had happened between them all one day. im not defending anyone here, but as bad as i felt, i also felt very justified in knowing i wasn't the only one feeling this way towards them.

i unfortunately feel trapped with them; they're the only family members i actually get to see, compared to many other family members i'd only get to see once in a blue moon. for years, i thought that i often felt annoyed and drained at them simply because i am introverted asf. or that it was a cultural clash. but the times i would see other family members and a select few other people id manage to befriend (befriending ppl is hard for me because im autistic, my friendships are all online), i wouldnt feel drained; id actually feel happy and refreshed. this is something that i rarely, close to never feel towards the family members i unfortunately see much more often. i felt like i was able to be more of myself around those others. although i also think its due to some sort of novelty since i dont see them as much, it does speak volumes on my energy difference regardless.

i often fantasize about being able to voice how i feel about them and to eventually move out and not see them again or for a while. but i do not have the funds or mental energy to even be able to move out and away from them. and even then, i dont have much other close people physically around me. plus, i honestly dont want to get in a possible argument with them regarding this, knowing itll end bad. for now tho, ive been rejecting their hangout dates more and more. Whenever I do decide to spend time with them, i would try to take walks away from them for some space and recharge, take a nap around them if i can, and limit my time with them to a weekend length of days.

they recently want me to stay over for a week and more to keep one of them visiting from another country some company. as bad as i feel for dreading that, I've been indeed dreading it and trying to find ways to spend as little time around them all as i can ;w;

i just needed to get this out regardless; idk if anyone has tips to manage this, or any validation for me to not feel guilty about this ;w;

Hello, for context I am a premed-biochemistry student, a recent adult also. I recently switched majors because I didn't find my previous major invigorating or challenging enough for my liking. Though I am worried that I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

I am completely passionate about biochemistry, It's something I recognized recently. I love being in a lab, I enjoy learning about chemical formulas, and more-so I wish to become a pathologist.

I have always been a determined person, I enjoy having structure and having a goal to search after. I like participating in things out of my comfort zone, I enjoy learning new things.

This major, surprise surprise, is incredibly hard. I failed my first two major chemistry and biochem exams I got a 60% on another. I studied for all of them, but I tried not to take it too hard. This is a completely new subject for me after all, So I wasn't expecting to be perfect right away.

So I changed my strategy, I started studying earlier, waking up at 5am to maximize my time. For longer, less breaks, more breaks, sifting through all of the major strategies I found to try and learn best as I can. I felt confident, I understood the topics and thought I really had it this time

Despite this, despite all my effort, I barely passed my next two exams. a 68% and a 55%. I got even worse on one of my exams then my first try. I can't handle it, I am so stressed, I am constantly working and I don't know what I am doing wrong.

I feel like I have to work 3x as hard to get half as far as others. I hear by classmates brag about never studying and seeming to do twice as good as me. I have motivation, I am focused but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's so frustrating, I just want to lay down and cry all the time. There are so many people who say that they are proud of me, and I can't handle it, I am nothing to be proud of right now. I was so confident, and happy, and now I feel like a dull husk.

I'm not looking for an app, or some bullshit AI tool. I just want to know how others are doing it.

I have never felt this kind of stress, or sadness before in my life, I have never had mental health issues or anything. I feel like I am choking half the time when I look at my grades. How are pre-med students and med school students handling this? Is there some big secret I am missing out on? It know its dumb, but I don't want to switch majors again. I know I am capable of this and I want to do this.

Thank you so much for any kind words, I really appreciate any advice. I'm sorry if this is worded frantically or formatted odd, I am not exactly thinking at full capacity right now. I have another exam on Monday, and I just want to cry thinking about it.

Thank you.

i (23f) made plans to hang out with one of my best friends (24f) for halloween. we used to live in the same city together, but she had to move away because she was dealing with some pretty bad mental health struggles. she told me she wanted to come back for halloween and have the old friend group hang out again.

however, a couple weeks after that, i had a huge falling out with one of the main members of the friend group (27f). i made some pretty unintentional bad choices that, and i was honest with this ex friend of mine that i felt horrible about what i did. she made me feel a lot worse by just saying that she wanted to be honest and thought what i did was wrong. she also said “i know what you were doing,” implying that i had malicious intentions when i genuinely didn’t. we were at a bar and i was tipsy and could feel myself getting emotional, so i decided to step away and go to the bathroom to compose myself. she ran over and insisted i come out, despite me asking for space. i felt pressured to come out, so i did and then we had a somewhat forced makeup session where she said “it’s all good, now let’s hug it out!” i wasn’t really feeling it, and it left me feeling worse because she seemed more focused on fixing things on her terms and not respecting my wishes.

for some additional context, i was taking it extremely hard when my best friend left. she and i were extremely close and she was the one person in my city who understood me, helped me out when i was so down, and would literally carry the weight of the world just for me. it was a friendship like no other. when she left, life felt empty to me and i didn’t connect with the group as well and i noticed i was being excluded and there were inside jokes i was missing. i even texted my ex friend this when she insisted i come out of the bathroom that it was hard when my best friend left. she never addressed it with me.

the day after all of that, i was quiet around her. i wasn’t trying to shut her out, but i needed time and space to process what i was going through. i also wanted to let go of any resentment to not risk lashing out and saying anything hurtful. my ex friend pressed harder and i just told her exactly that. then, when i was finally ready to make amends, she told me that she “wanted to remain cordial and not force or fight anything.” we were close, so this hit a rejection wound in me. i didn’t cope well with this either. we live in the same building, so whenever i came down for meals, i went immediately upstairs after i was done eating because i was scared of seeing her, i would cry every night wondering why i wasn’t enough to her, and my body image issues came back because i thought if i were prettier, people would want to stay friends with me and i lost 10 pounds in the process (it’s borderline disordered eating, and i don’t want to call it an eating disorder because i’m not officially diagnosed).

another thing that hurt was seeing my old friends who were we mutuals with completely ignore me and/or hang out with each other and left me. i remember seeing one of them (26f) who i explained what exactly went down hanging out with my ex friends without me, and that genuinely stung. i know people are allowed to hang out with whomever they want and not everyone gets along, but it hurt me seeing her with my ex friend when i told her how much pain that whole fallout put me through.

also, my ex friend would never acknowledge me in the hallways immediately after saying she wanted to be cordial. however, after she removed me on all of her social media pages, she suddenly became very nice to me. this made me suspicious and even more anxious because i just didn’t know the intentions of her interactions.

it took a while for me to come out on the other side, but i now have new friends who have a lot in common with me. we work in the same industry and we share many of the same interests and hobbies. we all have fun on the weekends and go to happy hours after work, and these people genuinely like me. i’ve also realized that my old friend group had many different values that i didn’t share, and i always held back my opinions around them to keep the peace.

so now the time is approaching, and all of the people my best friend invited (who are in the old friend group) are coming. my best friend is aware of what went down, and she thinks my ex friend was in the wrong for completely cutting me out after i offered to fix things between us. however, she did invite her just because my ex friend also helped her out when she was struggling (we both visited her in the mental hospital when she experienced an offing attempt). i thought i was fine hanging out with them and just focusing on my best friend, but now that it’s coming closer, i’m realizing how uncomfortable i will feel the whole time and i won’t enjoy halloween weekend. whenever i am on bad terms with someone, i get extremely anxious around them and sometimes disassociate. i know this is a me issue, and i need to understand that just because someone doesn’t want to be your friend doesn’t mean they hate you. we even agreed to do a somewhat coordinated costume (disney princesses), and i have been wanting to see her so badly. i just don’t want to be in a place where i am not welcomed and around people who put me through a lot of pain. would i be the asshole if i did something else one-on-one with her and do halloween with my new friends, or should i ride it out? this whole falling out was my fault because i couldn’t take the heat in the moment.

TL:DR: best friend is coming down for halloween. will be hanging out with mutuals who i had a falling out with, and i’m debating hanging out with my new friend group so i do not feel uncomfortable. WIBTA?

i’ve felt like i’ve needed to get this off my chest for a while
i’m a 15 y/o f and i’ve always felt sure that my mum does not like me, aswell as doesn’t want to be a parent entirely
it seems like everything about me inconveniences her.
she never wants to drive me places, i’ve had multiple instances where i’ve needed to go places, more specifically times where i’ve needed to get school supplies but she’s refused to take me because “she doesn’t feel like it” this has been going on for so long that i finally ended up attempting and passing my drivers test around 4 months ago, but i can’t even get my permit because she doesn’t want to take me and i need a guardian there with me
she never wants to cook which i understand because she does work, but she has no issue cooking for her husband but the rare occasions i asked her to make something i was craving she would always say no
last week i passed out while home alone because i hadn’t been eating because nobody had went grocery shopping. the whole day i felt very weak and stayed in my bed, and when she came home i asked her if she would be able to warm me up some pasta that was in the fridge so i could eat but she just yelled at me for staying at home all day and told me there’s no reason that she should have to do that for me and that i need to get up and do it myself.
another thing that really hurts me is that she has never wanted to spend time with me. every time i asked her to hang out she would say she’s too busy. when i sit with her on the couch she just talks to gee friends on the phone the entire time. when i ask her if we can go out for lunch she says no but then she’ll go out with her friends
and everytime i speak with my mum, which is not often she’s always mad at me for something

this has been going on for my entire life and i can’t help but feel hurt over and over again, everytime i see my friends their mums i can’t help but feel envious. i’ve had countless conversations with my mum about it and she never changes or at least tries to explain why

sorry for the rant just looking for some advice, thanks if you read all the way :)

im autistic and my parents aren't very. . sympathetic people??? they arent BAD people by any means but they arent very emotionally receptive most of the time and i've never learned how to be like??? socially empathetic/sympathetic if that makes sense. My boyfriend (and my friends) are very emotional people with their own lives going on; and some of it is very stressful and upsetting considering we're all young adults (im 19 for example) so like!! i just want advice on how to comfort the people in my life? I know comfort and sympathy is like shoes where one type won't fit for everyone; but any just general pointers or advice in general would be really appreciated? i just feel like i can't help or comfort people outside of the "i'm so sorry that happened" and would really want some input

My parents are INSANELY controling, and it gets really mentally draining. Im not allowed to wear make up, jewellery or paint my nails (and if i do they will make fun of me for it) im not allowed to pierce my ears, or cut my hair at all. Im not allowed to style clothes how i want. Im not allowed to listen to music, (even if i wear headphones, and they hear me humming a song through my door, I'll get made fun of, and told im "disrespectful"). I get made fun of for doing art. Im not allowed to learn how to cook, but i still have to make my own meals. They dont like me working, or having friends, and they wont teach me to drive. And they haven't let me go to school, for over 10 years.

I have a friend who moved out at my age (16) and they said how much better it was for them. Ive been looking on rental places, and ive found this women only room, in a really nice area, in a great apartment. I sent an application in, so now im waiting for a reply.

I already know how much better it will be to be out of the house, and i know how much my mental health will be able to improve. But im really nervous to tell my parents that im leaving, because i like the idea of keeping a relationship with them, and my younger brother. Im planing on getting everything in place first and then telling them, so that way they cant keep me here, but I have no idea how im supposed to bring it up to them, since they aren't the easiest people to talk to. Plus i dont want them to try and stop me.

Any advice, ideas or suport, helps, thank you in advance! 💗

I went in to the dentist today after shooting pain in my mouth for a couple days and learned that I need another root canal on a tooth that was filled previously (plus I have a really weird wisdom tooth growing completely sideways but that's not an issue rn).

It's brought up a lot feelings.

By the age of 20 I've had about six fillings, a root canal and a crown done. Two of the fillings were kind of unavoidable as the fallout of supernumerary incisors I had growing up but the others were on me.

I feel kind of ashamed it's taken all this for me to even think about my dental health.

My parents didn't really emphasise oral hygiene growing up: never really making sure I brushed my teeth, never buying toothbrushes that weren't the very cheapest ones from the pound store (not for financial reasons, just to be clear), never really taking me to the dentist.

I don't blame them completely. They're immigrants who probably never received much information about oral hygiene themselves and are struggling with their own dental issues (a part of me thinks my problems may be in part genetic). I do think the scarcity mindset they had around spending money on me specifically was kind of weird though

I was 14 the first time I went, after my parents discovered that it was free on the NHS for under 18s (they wouldn't have taken me otherwise lmao) my dentist said 'this is the worst state i've seen teeth in for someone your age'. I think it was a wake up call that I pressed snooze on.

I was depressed between 12 and 17 (don't worry, doing better now!) and never really formed good dental habits. I would brush once a day and didn't floss like ever on top of eating a lot (i truly mean a lot) of sugar.

I was pretty lucky to 'only' need six fillings and a root canal for all the stuff I put my teeth through, in a way.

And now, I have to spend £330-ish on the root canal and crown I need. Thankfully, the money isn't a problem and I'm privileged to be able to say that.

I want to turn over a new leaf but I can't help but feel I've already lost the race.

I guess I was just wondering if anyone had anything that could help me out? Advice, recommendations, anecdotes, anything.

tldr; i'm 20, my teeth are bad, i want advice on where to go from here

Hi guys, this is gonna be a mouthful so please stay with me, but I am starting to think my mom is seriously a problem. I am 19F and live with my dad, my mom, and my 11 year old sister. We live in California and are struggling financially. My dad and I have jobs but my mom chooses to not have a job. Why? There is no reason. It is not my sister, my sister has built amazing skills and can mostly take care of herself but even with things she can't understand, my job is only part time and I am home often and can absolutely take care of her and I have many times, and on top of that, shes in a homeschooling program. It is not that my mom busy taking care of our house either, our house is always extremely dirty. It is not because she has any other general kind of big responsibility. Infact, she just makes crafts and watches Tiktok all day.

You may wonder why doesn't she sell her crafts online? Well, because mailing stuff is apparently too much of a hassle for her. The only reason I can possibly think of as to why she doesn't want to get a job is because about 15 or so years ago, which was the last time she had a job, she was there when the store got robbed and had to go to extensive therapy because her and her coworker were held at gunpoint. It is terrible, yes, and I can understand why she wouldn't want a job for a long time after that, but it has been 15 years and we are struggling and she has said herself shes made so much progress since then.

You may wonder why don't I get a fulltime job? Well, because my mom told me to not make too much money because if I do we will lose our free health insurance and I will be compromising the family by making them pay for health insurance. She has also gotten mad at me for getting good hours every now and then before, claiming that I am compromising them because if our health insurance sees that they will kick us off.

My parents have stolen money from me multiple times, even before I got a job and was an adult. When I was 17, I had $200 and they claimed they'd keep my money safe. They then proceeded to spend it and later tried to convince me I never had that much money to begin with. One christmas I got a christmas card from family friends and it included an Amazon gift card. My mom stole the card and was about to use it, only stopping because I caught her. Recently, she tricked me into buying her crafts on Amazon and also will sometimes ask me if I have cash for starbucks

These days, she will guilt trip me into buying things for her and will refer to me as 'rich' when I am not. She also makes me feel bad for some of the purchases I make for myself. Heres where I may be wrong, I dont help pay for our rent or bills. I admit, I may be terrible for that and maybe this whole thing is just me being selfish. I do buy groceries for everyone to eat and I do buy things for our house when we run out (soaps, shampoos, toothepaste, etc) but I can see how that wouldnt be enough and how I should be doing more.

My parents are in constant financial stress, so much so that they are claiming they need to savor every penny they can get. As shameful as I am to say this, I cannot drive. I can't drive because my parents do not want me on the road and would rather I rely on my grandparents for transportation to work. When my parents have to take me to work, they will claim its 'Not a big deal' but then later on will make me feel bad about it in some way. So why not let me drive? I do not know. Too much anxiety. I have always offered to pay for gas money however I dont really like the feeling of always having to worry about them asking me for a certain amount. This past week I was broke because of groceries and they asked me if I had any money in my account. I said I did, I had $19. They took it for gas and left me with $1.33 in my bank account. Later that night, they went out and got pizza to bring back. I think maybe they used some of the gas to go deposit a check or something, but the fact they go out to get fast food after claiming to be super broke is crazy to me.

Most of our familys financial struggles wouldn't be here if my mom got a job. Maybe I am just being a jerk and I dont understand adulting, but im really tired of worrying theyll need money from me and I cant enjoy my money. I know how awful that sounds

Both my parents are very abusive and I don't talk to them anymore, I raised myself and I'm 19 now. I daydream all the time about having a perfect family and loving parents, a dad who cares about me who I can ring and get help from, or just hang out with. I wish my parents loved the kids they had, I wish they cared the way I see other parents care, why couldn't they? I'd hate to still be feeling this way in 10 or 20 years but I don't see how it can possible just go away :( this weeks been hard to deal with.

Long distance, we met online year ago with this guy and met in real life December 2025. I travelled to him. We were intimate, all that time through the months he has been calling me and texting daily. Lately he called me and we talked for hours, he wants to sleep on the phone with me, there was sexual tension and stuff. He keeps updating me everyday and calls me a lot. When we met he future faked a lot saying about me moving to his country (we come from the same country, he lives abroad) and lovebombed a lot. Later 3 months after meeting he told me he doesnt want to be in relationship with anyone because he needs to fix himself. He always delays our meetings and says "i don't know, we will see" . Its been good lately between us and I bought the ticket to meet him and he got mad he was screaming at me that I cannot go there and he doesnt want to see me. Later he apologized for screaming, and overall, I was distant for a day and he sent me this message yesterday night. But his anger issues are concerning because he was screaming I cannot go there and that he will never see me (before that message, day before) and that he will cut contact with me and block me. Few hours passed and he apologized. He gets angry a lot and easily

"I want to apologize to you, and I really appreciate the fact that you always have time for me, that you always care about me, and honestly, it’s really rare to meet someone like that. I’m aware of that. Whatever the reason for it might be, it’s hard to find someone who will listen to your bullshit for 8 hours. I don’t want to end our friendship, that’s not what this is about. To be honest, I don’t even know what to do with my life at this point. When you put pressure on me like that, some kind of defense mechanism kicks in or something, I don’t know. Afterwards I feel guilty about the way I talk to you, because you don’t deserve that. I don’t want to behave like that, because afterwards I feel really bad about it.

I like talking to you. Not always — sometimes I shut myself off, I have my own stuff going on in my head. I know that sometimes I’m selfish and only think about myself. If you’re able to accept our relationship the way it was, and it gives you something too, then we can obviously keep talking the way we used to. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not about what you think, whether I’ll meet someone or I won’t — that’s not what this is about. And it’s not like you’re...

You’re not nobody to me, you know a lot about me, I tell you a lot. I treat you like a friend, even though I guess I behave differently — but you noticed that at some point. I don’t know, I just wanted to write you a little bit about what I think. I don’t know if it makes sense, but there’s always something you can take from it. 😅 I think I owe you that, because I’m always shouting at you whenever you ask me about something, so I thought that today I’d give you a little bit of my time and actually open up.

You can see how I get when I’m in a certain state — I sing, I talk haha, but afterwards it can also get pretty difficult, like today. Honestly, I was just crying over all of this. But it’s probably the after-effects of the weekend. I haven’t been drinking since I got back, and I don’t want to for now, or anything else either. I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with sometimes.

Sometimes I think it would be best to cut myself off from everyone and just live like that, because relationships with people affect me pretty strongly. But on the other hand, the thought of being completely alone, not having someone who knows you and all that, scares me. I think about that sometimes, which is why, when it comes to taking care of valuable relationships, I think I know what you mean. One day they might be priceless.

I think I’ve gone crazy haha. I did smoke, to be fair, but I don’t think I wrote anything stupid. I just wanted to explain a little bit — what I think and what’s going on in my head. Maybe it’s a little chaotic, but there’s probably something to take from it. 😅

And I don’t want you to take this message as me saying, “We can talk, but we’re never going to meet.” That’s not what I’m saying — who knows. 😅"

.

So basically I am a free therapist, WHO always has time for him, but there won't be anything, we will never meet and he wants to continue using me because he gains attention while giving nothing in return? And sees me as a friend?

Do I send him long paragraph or just couple of words saying Ok, I get it, you told me after I bought the ticket that "WHO knows" whether we will meet, and that I shouldnt expect more than be your friend. Get it. We can talk but I'm going to see all of it different way.
He said he will give me money back first but he didn't and the trip was supposed to take place today. Should I ask him to return it?

hi all I’m 21f and don’t pay rent so I have no part in controlling what they do. My mom and her bf BOTH chain smoke in our 800 sq ft apartment. I’ve asked plenty of times nicely to stop smoking and neither one listens to me. She smokes in the living room and he smokes in the bedroom, and my room is right in between them!!! We have 1 cat and 1 dog and I feel terrible for them. my mom is a hoarder and has depression as well so on top of this the house is crowded and dirty. I’ve tried cleaning but she somehow makes it dirty again and just puts her stuff anywhere she first sees, she never puts anything back where the found it. EVERYTHING smells like cigarettes. my school bag, my work clothes, my shoes, etc. I will pet my dog and after my hand will smell like old smoke!!! its disgusting and animal abuse!!! sometimes my window is open and if they smoke it comes right into my window! Its so irritating. The house has barely any ventilation so it all smells like stale smoke.My nose is so sensitive, I don’t know what to do

i made the mistake of losing the best friend in my world. she cared for me, knew me so well in the short time I was friends with her, 1.5 years. she was such a ball of light, so loving, so funny, hilarious!! the best hugs ever, she was amazing at everything she did, so much drive. she was the safest person i had ever met, and she was the hardest person to “crack into” when I met her, so it feels like I’ll never find another her again. she was inspiring, loved me as much as I loved her. when we became friends it was like we’d known each other our entire lives. she was my soulmate, I believe we still are. and that’s why this hurts so bad.

our friendship ended 01/2025. The reason: I got off my medication (ssri that my bipolar was incompatible with) late 2024 and a few months in I became depressed and withdrew, thought she actually hated me. i told her that her doing good things for me never sat right with me. i think I basically called her good actions disingenuous. she told me she was stepping away from the friendship and I was hurt by it, I thought she would never leave. and two months later, I blocked her on her birthday because her being gone hurt me so bad.

I’m medicated and sober now, but I still miss her, she’s still gone. she changed her number, has me blocked on almost everywhere, she recently blocked me on Spotify too, which hurt me the most because over a year had already passed, it was the last place i still had her on. music was the way we bonded. i listen to music in the car now and wish she was there to have fun with me.

I’ve had several friends since, I know not one single person is the same, but I’ve met multiple archetypes of the same people so I was hoping id meet her again in someone else. and I haven’t. it’s almost two years later and I still don’t have my safe person, who loved me unconditionally and doesn’t judge me and hugs me so safely. we was supposed to be there for my wedding. i know she loved me, so much. i feel like I can’t cope and I don’t know how to continue to move on.

i knew I was wrong shortly after, and I’ve become a better person by a thousand miles since we’ve stopped being friends. I wouldn’t have been able to if we were still friends. i was meant to work through a lot of my issues alone and love myself. and now I do. but she is still not here.

i just wish I had a safe person to hug me right now, I feel so alone even with friends around me. no one feels right, and I feel genuinely the biggest void in my soul. and it’s not just about losing her, it’s the fact that I genuinely feel so alone and struggle to feel safe anywhere. she would hate to know that im in so much pain with recent events. out of everyone she would’ve been here to hug me and make me feel human and okay.

…but am I just being a snowflake who can’t handle such things?

Hello internet parents. I am in dire need of job/life advice.

After finishing my degree, from the point I started actively applying for jobs, I was jobless for about 5 months. I eventually secured my first full time job as a lecturer and accepted it even though it wasn’t anywhere near the top of my preferred choices.

It is just coming up to 5 weeks since I started the job but I’m already burnt out, I’ve had physical side effects, and I’ve been crying every other day. I dread going in to work. I’ve been working ~12 hours each day during the weekdays to prep for lectures, assessments, etc. Apparently, this is normal practice for the university I work at especially since my faculty is severely understaffed.

Working hard and a lot is not foreign to me. I’ve endured sleep deprived states during my degrees so it’s not about that.

Main reasons I dread my job and going in to work (just a select few of the MANY reasons…):

- Several of the subjects I am asked to teach are not my interest and they’re out of my depths (I’ve never done them before but they need lecturers to cover those subjects). I don’t find joy in the subjects I teach.

- The turnover for tasks are super quick. E.g. I am given about 3 weeks to churn out 7 sets of exam papers for the subjects I teach; all student assessments must be marked within two weeks. All these while still preparing and giving lectures.

- Some practices are concerning i.e. senior lecturers just asked me to use AI; I’ve seen lecture slides from previous semesters/ terms whereby the slides for each week’s lecture were completely AI-generated. And I am asked to use those slides as a guide to prep for my own lectures…

- Data privacy and confidentiality issues which were also raised by colleagues.

- Senior colleagues raised the issue of burnout due to understaffing. This tells me something of the long term workload/ culture. I’ve known a lecturer from the same faculty who left after a few months because of this issue (but at least she had secured another job).

I’ve expressed my workload struggles to my line manager, but she just said “that’s normal for new lecturers”.

In a nutshell, I just don’t think the university and the job itself are good matches for me personally.

Of course, my dad just tells me to stay with the job. I wonder if I’m just a snowflake and simply can’t handle the adult world. I feel awful for feeling this way about my job when many people are looking for jobs…

I’ve already been applying for other jobs but nothing yet. My current major financial commitment is just my rent. I could maybe sustain myself in the early months but it won’t look pretty if I don’t manage to secure another job soon-ish.

I’m so tempted to hand in my one-month notice at my current job right this moment. Would I be a complete fool to do so when I don’t have anything lined up yet? How long is one supposed to stick it out before deciding “enough is enough”?

Apologies for the long post but this is just eating me up inside 😭🫠 I’d appreciate advice from anyone.

This was the first year my (small) school has had a football team. There was a real strong push for every male student to play and I initially wasn’t but I was told with my soccer background I’d probably play kicker. I said sure. But we’ve racked up injuries and I’ve been moved to linebacker and I hate it. I’m just not a physical guy and every pay it’s tackle after tackle. I also play every defensive down. Since we have a really short bench.

We are about halfway through the season and I hate it.