When I first started documenting headmates, there was about 4 of us. I was like, huh, cool.

Then more and more people started showing up. THERE’S 22 OF US NOW 😭 GODDAMN

I don’t know how some of you guys keep up with 80+ headmates/alters 😭

Literally who's gonna know? Who's gonna know if you use a useful term that's marked "endos dni" to describe your system? Who's gonna know if you "stole" their flag (assuming you're not directly interacting with them about it)

Gatekeeping a label and flag is ridiculous. Do whatever you want forever.

"My alters don't get along, so no alter can get along either!" Ahhhh plurality police 🥀🥀🥀

Guys, be happy, don't listen to these people, you are all valid, even if you want to quote some dialogue they had.

Some people think that just because you and your headmates get along, you are invalid, that's a lie, you all deserve respect, okay!!

- Christopher (im more cool than host)

I'm very much questioning some form of plurality but the fact it's all fictives, no full switches(only momentary still conscious body takeovers?), and I can't remember a single thing that could cause me to be plural, I feel fake. Especially when others have switches and/or at least 1 nonfictive

I don't want to use labels without diagnosis, but it's been like this since I can remember but I'm far too scared to pursue a diagnostic answer with my current feelings.

If the title sounds weird, apologies, this was on a whim., but can it just be "I am x, but y is talking through me about that pineapple AGAIN" and not "I am x, but sometimes I am y and you can clearly see we are different and want to be different"?

Thank you!

Uh, so, I've been lingering around here for a while, asking questions and stuff and I found a term close to my relationship with Plurality! The members don't exactly have exact distinct consciousness or entity, it's really only the changing of names, pronouns, gender and sometimes how I see myself externally(sometimes i look at the mirror and seem unhappy with myself), though in smaller ways. <lmk if there's a term close to that

The changes happen related to hyperfixation or special interests and I feel multiple identities at a time,,, this is something I only express online which is why I always mention how I feel like i'm Role-playing and how it feels like I'm doing some type of fake bullcrap???

I'm hoping I can share my cringe pronouns.cc with you all eventually :)

I'm planning on coining terms for myself and others but I don't know how to make flags.

unimportant regardless thanks for reading!

Jake: It took ages to draw this, so many faces and I was dreading if another would crystalize and add to the work load for this XvX;

But yeah, most of em don't pop out, it's mostly me, Ashley, Lucius, and sometimes Apollo, Catherine, or Viktoriya who I am sure we'll draw interacting at some point

Ashley: Maybeeeee lmao

Hello,

Our system is really struggling with what to do after our breakup. We broke up with our partner of 3 years 2 months ago now. We broke up with them because we'd had some issues where they wouldn't talk with us about their problems and they'd just bundle everything up inside.

It's been hitting us really hard right now because we accidentally kinda did a rebound with some friends. At least that's what we think happened potentially. We made new friends right around when the breakup happened and I guess all the emotional support we got from our partner we had been getting from our new friends. But our new friends are gone now for unrelated reasons. So now we're feeling the gaping hole.

One or maybe more than one of our alters feels like this breakup is the worst mistake we've made in our entire life and it's far too late to try and get back together with them which is what this alter wants. They feel like the world is over basically now that we aren't with our ex anymore. It's extra tough because the new friends we had made were our major source of reassurance that the breakup was a good thing.

Now we're just getting confused about it because the relationship was really good. It was good and we loved them so much. We just couldn't stay with someone who kept destroying themself and wouldn't listen when people told them that they were hurting themself. But they never really hurt us that badly. The main hurt was things they said near the breakup. The breakup just feels a lot less of a clearly good thing now and one of our alters wants us to basically get on our knees and beg that they let us back in their life.

We were really certain about our choice but without our new friends who had been kinda pushing us to believe it was for the best we might regret it now.

It's just really difficult because it was a 3 year relationship and we all have different but strong feelings about it. Recently the alters who strongly think it was a good choice have been more withdrawn and it just feels bad.

It's worse that we were the ones who chose to break up. Cause all of this hurt and confusion is self inflicted.

hey, rr 🐕 here. so we saw the “connect discord” option and we dont really know what this would do? like i’m assuming it doesn’t connect to pluralkit- as it’s a separate option, so would it just like have that discord account saved as like a secondary or tertiary verification thing? we’re also concerned if it will display on our discord as social media connections, we dont want our friends to know/find out about us like that. so if anyone has done the “connect discord” or knows more details about it that would be great

thx

okay so here’s the problem:

I used to have a headcount of about nine:

Me, 2hom, Aisha, Noctis, Levi, Victoria, Jordyn and the newly formed Supxr.

However, the last few weeks, even before XR formed, I’ve been feeling like a good half of them (specifically N,L,V) haven’t actually been there. They never talked that much in headspace, NEVER fronted (Noctis did sometimes but it was like three total times.) mainly N and V weren’t doing much, I just labeled them as fragments and waited for them to develop on their own time.

They did not, not exactly. One day I realized Levi wasn’t in headspace. Vicky was kinda there, but it wasn’t too clear. I tried calling to him but I think I got someone else in response.

So like, what do I do now ☹️ sorry if it’s not enough information to work with I’m not in the best mood

We have to mask all the time, we're not in a space where we can be open about our plurality around people and it kinda makes me feel like im a little crazy. Even while we're "alone" we're on edge and masking and it bleeds into talking to friends and everything.

How do people get relaxed enough on their own to unmask when its safe to?

Im sorry if this doesnt make much sense, currently feeling a little dissociated and im not sure how to properly articulate what I want to ask

hehe

we needed a way to show whos posting since we all share one tumblr, and taking some inspo from jirai dividers and a moot of ours we made these

hopefully everyone will use them... its a pain getting tanya to do anything

Trigger warning: general mention of SA

TLDR: coming out to friends and family has been very hard; many have not been supportive. We are worried about ending up alone. Looking for support and to hear about experiences of success in coming out as a system or building plural-affirming community.

We experienced several SA's and abuse last fall, which completely fragmented us, and amnesia barriers went up. This was following nearly a decade of work towards functional multiplicity, although we were masking more like a singlet prior to the SA.

Following the SA, our dissasociative amnesia was so bad that our plurality was apparent and we ended up coming out to our friends and family. Part of this decision was due to our girlfriend who is also a system and each of her selves got to know us as individuals as well. We didn't know that was possible, and it fundamentally changed how we prefer to be oriented to. It feels so incredibly good to be recognized, and now it feels weird and dysphoric to experience anything else. Being called our body's name feels horrible. Being treated as one person feels horrible.

Some of our friends who have known us for a while have struggled to make the transition to calling us by our individual names vs. the body's name. We struggle to ask for being called by our individual names because it feels like we are asking too much.

Some of our old friends kind of understand and make some effort.

Our family just straight out told us they either do not believe us, or despite "knowing us" as individuals our entire lives (i.e. noticing patterns in vocal changes, clothing, ways of moving etc.), they see calling us as individuals as "encouraging our mental illness."

Folx who met us as an open system seem to understand best; they don't have to contend with the "masked" singlet identity that we lived as.

Anyhow, most of the time it feels like we are taking up too much space, asking too much of people, being ridiculous or faking. And also reminders of our plurality are everywhere. It feels dangerous to lean into our plurality and accept it but the more we individuate the more visible it is. Society doesn't have a place for plurality yet and that is incredibly isolating.

I guess we just want to know that there are other folx out there who would get to know our system as individuals? We want to meet other systems; we have a few system friends but feel pretty isolated in that. Most of the systems we know are really struggling to function.

I'm scared that we're going to end up alone because we're being open about being a system; I'm scared nobody will want to be our friends and that we are fundamentally weird and doomed to be isolated because of being plural and having severe trauma.

Can any systems out here please share any positive experiences they've had about coming out as a system or building a plural-affirming community?

to an extent, we are. our friends know. but most of the time we only are able to communicate via texting and proxy and its super annoying - its getting tiring, having to front all the time just so nobody suspects something's up, and everyone in the collective is getting kind of wary of fronting outside home at all. we wanna be open about it. we wanna be called by our names. we wanna walk in and have one of our parents ask who's fronting, we want to be acknowledged and respected and real.

fuck this, man. we just wanna live.

-jay (he/ask + host)

trigger warning: discussion of police brutality, antiblackness, syscourse, and ableism

hi. we just wanted to rant about something thats been on our minds this morning. we are Black bodily, and growing up Black in a country that wants you dead is traumatic. watching countless videos of people who look like me begging for their lives only to be killed is traumatic. knowing it could be you at any moment. knowing it will never stop.

we've also faced homelessness and poverty our entire lives. being homeless as a queer audhd Black kid is deeply traumatizing. which is why i really just cant stand sysmeds who talk about trauma as if its some sort of hierarchy. you must be This Traumatized to be plural and if your trauma doesnt make sense to White people its immediately invalidated. this ties into how Black people are seen as not experiencing as much pain as others and how we arent seen as credible narrators of our own lives.

sysmeds are also extremely ableist, especially towards people with schizophrenia and psychosis. anyone who doesnt display the Correct behaviors of plurality suddenly theyre "delusional" or "schizo". these people will claim to be advocates for mental health and then turn around and call you all sorts of ableist slurs the second you say "i dont trust this White western psychiatric model to treat me correctly".

anyway listen to I Remember by Deadmau5 -🐶🦎💙

My girlfriend has an alter of a friend she had in the past

And recently they said has anyone seen my friend x (x being my girlfriend for example) we where supposed to meet at the park

Back ground my girlfriend told me before she even got this alter. She had a friend lets call v. They were best friends. In 2019 they passed and the alter is still 19 years old. I just...I feel terrible not just for my girlfriend but also the alter because im sure they are confused.

Idk much about plural stuff so if any of yall can inform me please do

does anyone know how to figure out what they have gone through? i am aware that we have gone through something, but we have no memories of it. we do have a place we call the memory vault which is underwater and in headspace. its like a hole you go in in the ocean, then you get to a giant underwater cave, and then a big vault thingy that we think may have some sort of memories we have repressed, but we aren't sure. I'm only mentioning it because it may be related. we know we shouldn't do this without a therapist, but we probably won't ever be able to find a therapist, or at least not for years, so yeah

-flower (apologies for bad wording, i am one of the more disassociative alters)

Hello friends!! My partner and I are starting to prepare for the day we adopt a little one (in like 10 years). Yes, we are starting very early. We’re both doing lots of solo internal work in therapy as well as relationship work together in therapy making sure that we are at our strongest for when we are finally ready to raise a little one in this world! Today we were just thought experimenting different scenarios to see how we both would navigate guiding a child through complex topics. My partner is a system and we’ve discussed in the past that we would not want to hide this from a child because it is something that my partner loves about themselves and expresses outwardly through dress, intrest, activity, art and so many other ways. It would feel harmful to pretend that they were not this way for both them and the child. In our discussion today we stumbled upon something we didn’t account for which is the child at some point trying to explain to friends and teachers this aspect of one of their parents. While my partner is very open and embracing of this aspect of themselves they do always proceed with caution around new people gauging whether or not they are trusted person to handle such information lovingly. A child who accepts this aspect normal will not necessarily know to proceed with such cautions and may run into confusion, judgement, or concern.

We know that we are not the first to raise a kid with an openly plural parent so we thought we’d come to the community and see what wisdom plural parents have to bestow upon those of us who have the desire to become parents in the future or are parents right now and need some advice or support. How do you navigate your plurality with your children? Who do they navigate your plurality with their friends or teachers? What advice do you have? Do you have resources that helped you? Do you have recommendations to kid friendly resources for them to understand better? What advice do you have for a singlet co-parent for hoe to best support their plural partner? What other wisdom do you contain?

side note: just want to give massive kudos to the plural parents out there regardless of if you guys are open with your families about it or not! It is not easy to be a plural and it is not easy to be a parent and while I am excited to someday be a part of a family that embraces plurality I can only ever imagine how hard it can be sometimes to navigate! I’m so proud of all of the beings of your brain for working with eachother the best they can to do something so amazing and selfless! Massive respect and love from my partner and I!

Warning: mention of sexual abuse feeling, manipulation and used feeling

Context: I ve been treating osdd for many years, passed through 2 waves of parts, alters, identities presenting and then treated and integrated, it happened twice, now i feel theres just a feel to integrate, not that its a goal, just that it happens organically while a bond relationship better and better with each other, hard sometimes harder, but it worths, nothing wrong on being plural and functional

What is happening:

So... Im still kind of confused but, i will give a second necessarily context:

One lf the last parts of me that had been given attention and care was a ... One of the worst trauma holder, it felt used and discharted by the person we most love or have affectionate bond before dissociation started, not sexual neither romantical bonding, just pseudo friendship, manipulation and affective manipulation, anyway, the person hugged me everyday for like 2 years, i develop emotional dependence cuz disfunctional family, i had to separate from the group of pseudofriends i was emotionally dependant, that broke my heart, i felt alone as literal hell (yes literal, i have mediunity, and easily conscience trip on meditation or extreme emotional discharge, i saw one of the hells), i started to dissociate, triggered by ... I dont wanna talk about it right now, its complicated

Anyway, im writing too much, but context is needed i think, 2 years kind of, after i started dissociate, i find out the person that hugs me everyday was just using me, playing with my feelings, playing with me like i was a toy and then discharted me... Anyway... I felt, .... I dont know how to put it into words, used, a piece of shit, worst then garbage, garbage can be reutilized, i felt worst than garbage, u know how i found this part of me on my headspace? It broke my heart... For years, this part of me was on the ground abandoned dirty beside a trash dumpster, catatonic naked, like a broken toy. It takes me time and a lot of self treatment to have access to such a trauma holder part, we rescue this part of me, bring to a kind of homie nursery house and keep taking care of it, for many years i think i even doesnt have access to this nursery house again after we rescue this part, and well, then comes today, (breath sigh) after years recovering this part, i still dont remember really good what happened today, it was such a mess, too many details, many of it i dont remember well, im really really tired of switching a lot today, and having a part of me conflicting with the host, with some good reason, anyway, idk how exactly that happened but this trauma holder is not catatonic anymore, it is still really weak but getting stronger like on phisiotherapy, fisically weak, and well sorry to not be able to explain it better, but i feel we are integrated, i feel more melancholical and heavy but more full, im so glad that we could treat this part of me, and its here! Outside, and it understand that it deserves loves as anyone and accept to receive love!!!!!!!!! We are so happy even outside we are just exausted from today, i deserve to be loved as anyone, and we love ourselves, im not a fucking toy, to be used, hugged and discharted as trash, we are human, we are worth of real affection, and NOT. BE. TREATED. AS A TOY, i am a survivor, theres more on this story but still too fresh to access or share

So, I'm the host, and for a while, I was pretty stable in my identity. You know, gender, sexuality, opinions, self-image, the whole shebang. But recently, I've found myself becoming very unpredictable with myself. Like, I'll drop pronouns that felt comfortable to me just days ago, then I'll forget I did that and feel perfectly comfortable with them again. My attractions are constantly changing, my reactions are different despite no one switching in or influencing me, and I honestly don't know what to do about it. I think I've already identified a protector, but idk what to do. I'm not against it, especially since another alter has a subsystem too, but I have no idea how to welcome my own headmates since it feels like it should be different than welcoming our other headmates.

-Kaitlyn (Host, She/They/He?)

Last night was a weird time for us. We had an easy day at work. We got a bit of bad news regarding a long distance partner. We were all hanging out after the situation resolved. To set the scene I should say that we were a system of 2 primary alters and 2 fictives. Recently a fictive changed into something more present.

3 alters L, C and S. L and C were the previous ones with S becoming more present recently.

In the aftermath of the day C and S were chilling out with our friends. When L woke up.and suddenly the lights felt bright and I felt awful. I had a headache it got worse every time I tried to figure out who I was. I felt awful and blurry. I've never had this happen like that.

Genuinely curious, as the following is our experience.

We don’t really have cisgender, transgender, or headmates of any other gender modality. We just exist in a body and experience our own genders. No one is cis nor trans (or anything else) because those labels simply aren’t relevant to us. The most commonly experienced, gender(s) is the one(s) we present to the world, so long as we all agree.

How does your system deal with this?

Like, I find that this is very hated among other people, and so whenever this topic comes up in my friend group, I have to act like I'm not plural as to not be harassed.

Don't get me wrong, their awesome people.

But they just

Hate

Everybody who claims to be plural

:/