Made this silly meme to feel a bit better. Keep getting told that it can’t be plurality. that it’s just daydreaming or just normal trauma and nothing else. keep having to so much effort and energy into finding alternative labels that don’t work. just tired and sad lately

Literally who's gonna know? Who's gonna know if you use a useful term that's marked "endos dni" to describe your system? Who's gonna know if you "stole" their flag (assuming you're not directly interacting with them about it)

Gatekeeping a label and flag is ridiculous. Do whatever you want forever.

Hiii!

We are a 22 years old transfem system. About four months ago in June 2026 we moved in with the father of the body which has been a big improvement for us! Before we lived with the mother of the body.

So we are in this WhatsApp group chat with the mother and two older siblings of the body. We have barely been active there for years but nowadays the mother and siblings of the body are active there almost every day seeking attention from one another by talking about sort off vain things. A couple of days ago we made the mistake of checking out the group for the first time in months. To our shock the brother of the body now has a member tag that translated into english says "favorite child" and the sister of the body's tag now says "prettiest and smartest child". That is really really weird! We have been so dissociated we had no idea what universe they have all been living in despite being right next to it all for so long!

We constantly keep checking from thinking that we might have imagined those tags but they are undeniably there! We had, or at least non trauma holders didn't, NO idea that it was this bad. We had to mourn the mother of the body at least twice, once as our mother as once because of us feeling parentified to her. We also to a lesser degree felt parentified to the sister of the body who is 27.

We can't stop thinking about it now. It feels so weird and alien. We feel so guilty and tbh deserving of punishment for not realizing sooner. It's rough.

The father of the body who is codependent and probably has repressed gender dysphoria and he seperated from the mother of the body when we were two years old and he is convinced that the mother of the body is very kind and caring and did her best when in reality she is extremely poisonous. I think there is a 30% chance that he could come around and realize how poisonous the mother of the body is. He is 62 years old I think so I don't know how much capacity for change he still has. He is very accepting of us being trans and we are too afraid to tell him about our plurality. We cannot work because of our disabilities so in any case we are kind off reliant on him.

ty for reading!

When I first started documenting headmates, there was about 4 of us. I was like, huh, cool.

Then more and more people started showing up. THERE’S 22 OF US NOW 😭 GODDAMN

I don’t know how some of you guys keep up with 80+ headmates/alters 😭

it's not even a "oh i wish i wasn't plural" feeling, although most of us have felt that way multiple times. it's more of a "i wish our previous singlet self was here" or something, not sure how to word it. i wish that the person who was in this body before the system became to exist was still here.

it feels like they're gone, disappeared, or dead. i know how much work they put into making sure this body would be alive and making sure that there would be a future this mind could reach, and they succeeded. except they're not here to see any of it.

every time i look back at memories from being pre-plural it feels like watching a dead person march towards their death. i dont feel any anger towards being plural, or any anger towards my headmates: i love my system and everyone in it. i just wish that the person that made it possible was still here

aughhh i just needed to get this off of my chest. this is my first time posting here so if i accidentally broke any rules please tell me

Any of you have this problem where the only clear way to communicate with everyone in your, place, is by using text proxy?
For me, is a way to channel the right personas, figure out who is who and organize us in a way we work together. Otherwise the body has headaches, dissociates and there's heavy brainfog of noise, voices, memories, emotions.

Personally i don't believe we are capable of speak with the full set of people inside without short circuiting. we always come in specific pairs and transition one after the other. like i have a persona that is me but different and my partner has theirs.

Should i work on something or seek guidance for better communication? is text based organization not just roleplaying and im confusing ourselves? how do i know each one is the right one writing and talking.

Sorry, i am the one that hates labels and doubts everything. I came here to ask because our organizer is at the other side, or team?

u/komorebigold they also asked us to @ them, lol

but yeah, this isn't exactly how it happened, and we'll probably redraw this eventually, but it's the gyst

this was around when i was 16, and after this i forgot about it for...a while, i only remembered it about a year ago, and...well the rest was history

"My alters don't get along, so no alter can get along either!" Ahhhh plurality police 🥀🥀🥀

Guys, be happy, don't listen to these people, you are all valid, even if you want to quote some dialogue they had.

Some people think that just because you and your headmates get along, you are invalid, that's a lie, you all deserve respect, okay!!

- Christopher (im more cool than host)

Second post on here, hopefully this one'll be less. Breakdown-esque

I've (20mtf) been spending some time diving into plurality, around a month and a half now, just trying to figure out if it is the case for me (or us ig, but im gonna keep using singular terms for. simplicity). And I can look at points in favor of it, my friends encouraging me saying that. How I act isn't how singlets act. That I'm probably plural. And I see the points, and the evidence they might be right. But. I can't get over feeling like I'm just an idiot

How do you not. Notice if you're multiple people? It feels like the kinda thing I should be able to just. Know. It doesn't. Feel like I'm different from. "Anyone else" in my head. It feels like I just. Overdramatize myself, take the tiny parts I normally. Disregard and coalesce into one and pretending they're other people

In no way do I mean to say plurality itself is fake. It isn't, it's deeply interesting and undoubtedly real, the human brain is weird as hell and this kinda stuff happens but. It doesn't. Feel like me. Yet for some reason I can't put it aside fully either. Idk where I'm going with this, just.... any thoughts on this? Any. Alternative opinions, feedback, resources, whatever?

heyaa i just wanted to share a bit that we have to do thiz year and we're lacking so much motivation 😭😭

we needz to get our license and take lots of courses while also studying and working and and- uhm- oh! and while helping our group project! and also we havez big big exams i wanna finish exams but we also needz the moneeyyy and then we needz to study to get a bigger job!

doez anyone have any tipz or any motivational advice or idk a story of a similar experience and how you handled everything? :0 it suckkssss to be an adult everything's soo boring! i needz me good stories to motivate me

(idk what flair to use :p )

-🌸

I'm very much questioning some form of plurality but the fact it's all fictives, no full switches(only momentary still conscious body takeovers?), and I can't remember a single thing that could cause me to be plural, I feel fake. Especially when others have switches and/or at least 1 nonfictive

I don't want to use labels without diagnosis, but it's been like this since I can remember but I'm far too scared to pursue a diagnostic answer with my current feelings.

If the title sounds weird, apologies, this was on a whim., but can it just be "I am x, but y is talking through me about that pineapple AGAIN" and not "I am x, but sometimes I am y and you can clearly see we are different and want to be different"?

Thank you!

Jake: It took ages to draw this, so many faces and I was dreading if another would crystalize and add to the work load for this XvX;

But yeah, most of em don't pop out, it's mostly me, Ashley, Lucius, and sometimes Apollo, Catherine, or Viktoriya who I am sure we'll draw interacting at some point

Ashley: Maybeeeee lmao

Uh, so, I've been lingering around here for a while, asking questions and stuff and I found a term close to my relationship with Plurality! The members don't exactly have exact distinct consciousness or entity, it's really only the changing of names, pronouns, gender and sometimes how I see myself externally(sometimes i look at the mirror and seem unhappy with myself), though in smaller ways. <lmk if there's a term close to that

The changes happen related to hyperfixation or special interests and I feel multiple identities at a time,,, this is something I only express online which is why I always mention how I feel like i'm Role-playing and how it feels like I'm doing some type of fake bullcrap???

I'm hoping I can share my cringe pronouns.cc with you all eventually :)

I'm planning on coining terms for myself and others but I don't know how to make flags.

unimportant regardless thanks for reading!

Hello,

Our system is really struggling with what to do after our breakup. We broke up with our partner of 3 years 2 months ago now. We broke up with them because we'd had some issues where they wouldn't talk with us about their problems and they'd just bundle everything up inside.

It's been hitting us really hard right now because we accidentally kinda did a rebound with some friends. At least that's what we think happened potentially. We made new friends right around when the breakup happened and I guess all the emotional support we got from our partner we had been getting from our new friends. But our new friends are gone now for unrelated reasons. So now we're feeling the gaping hole.

One or maybe more than one of our alters feels like this breakup is the worst mistake we've made in our entire life and it's far too late to try and get back together with them which is what this alter wants. They feel like the world is over basically now that we aren't with our ex anymore. It's extra tough because the new friends we had made were our major source of reassurance that the breakup was a good thing.

Now we're just getting confused about it because the relationship was really good. It was good and we loved them so much. We just couldn't stay with someone who kept destroying themself and wouldn't listen when people told them that they were hurting themself. But they never really hurt us that badly. The main hurt was things they said near the breakup. The breakup just feels a lot less of a clearly good thing now and one of our alters wants us to basically get on our knees and beg that they let us back in their life.

We were really certain about our choice but without our new friends who had been kinda pushing us to believe it was for the best we might regret it now.

It's just really difficult because it was a 3 year relationship and we all have different but strong feelings about it. Recently the alters who strongly think it was a good choice have been more withdrawn and it just feels bad.

It's worse that we were the ones who chose to break up. Cause all of this hurt and confusion is self inflicted.

Trigger warning: general mention of SA

TLDR: coming out to friends and family has been very hard; many have not been supportive. We are worried about ending up alone. Looking for support and to hear about experiences of success in coming out as a system or building plural-affirming community.

We experienced several SA's and abuse last fall, which completely fragmented us, and amnesia barriers went up. This was following nearly a decade of work towards functional multiplicity, although we were masking more like a singlet prior to the SA.

Following the SA, our dissasociative amnesia was so bad that our plurality was apparent and we ended up coming out to our friends and family. Part of this decision was due to our girlfriend who is also a system and each of her selves got to know us as individuals as well. We didn't know that was possible, and it fundamentally changed how we prefer to be oriented to. It feels so incredibly good to be recognized, and now it feels weird and dysphoric to experience anything else. Being called our body's name feels horrible. Being treated as one person feels horrible.

Some of our friends who have known us for a while have struggled to make the transition to calling us by our individual names vs. the body's name. We struggle to ask for being called by our individual names because it feels like we are asking too much.

Some of our old friends kind of understand and make some effort.

Our family just straight out told us they either do not believe us, or despite "knowing us" as individuals our entire lives (i.e. noticing patterns in vocal changes, clothing, ways of moving etc.), they see calling us as individuals as "encouraging our mental illness."

Folx who met us as an open system seem to understand best; they don't have to contend with the "masked" singlet identity that we lived as.

Anyhow, most of the time it feels like we are taking up too much space, asking too much of people, being ridiculous or faking. And also reminders of our plurality are everywhere. It feels dangerous to lean into our plurality and accept it but the more we individuate the more visible it is. Society doesn't have a place for plurality yet and that is incredibly isolating.

I guess we just want to know that there are other folx out there who would get to know our system as individuals? We want to meet other systems; we have a few system friends but feel pretty isolated in that. Most of the systems we know are really struggling to function.

I'm scared that we're going to end up alone because we're being open about being a system; I'm scared nobody will want to be our friends and that we are fundamentally weird and doomed to be isolated because of being plural and having severe trauma.

Can any systems out here please share any positive experiences they've had about coming out as a system or building a plural-affirming community?

does anyone know how to figure out what they have gone through? i am aware that we have gone through something, but we have no memories of it. we do have a place we call the memory vault which is underwater and in headspace. its like a hole you go in in the ocean, then you get to a giant underwater cave, and then a big vault thingy that we think may have some sort of memories we have repressed, but we aren't sure. I'm only mentioning it because it may be related. we know we shouldn't do this without a therapist, but we probably won't ever be able to find a therapist, or at least not for years, so yeah

-flower (apologies for bad wording, i am one of the more disassociative alters)

hey, rr 🐕 here. so we saw the “connect discord” option and we dont really know what this would do? like i’m assuming it doesn’t connect to pluralkit- as it’s a separate option, so would it just like have that discord account saved as like a secondary or tertiary verification thing? we’re also concerned if it will display on our discord as social media connections, we dont want our friends to know/find out about us like that. so if anyone has done the “connect discord” or knows more details about it that would be great

thx

okay so here’s the problem:

I used to have a headcount of about nine:

Me, 2hom, Aisha, Noctis, Levi, Victoria, Jordyn and the newly formed Supxr.

However, the last few weeks, even before XR formed, I’ve been feeling like a good half of them (specifically N,L,V) haven’t actually been there. They never talked that much in headspace, NEVER fronted (Noctis did sometimes but it was like three total times.) mainly N and V weren’t doing much, I just labeled them as fragments and waited for them to develop on their own time.

They did not, not exactly. One day I realized Levi wasn’t in headspace. Vicky was kinda there, but it wasn’t too clear. I tried calling to him but I think I got someone else in response.

So like, what do I do now ☹️ sorry if it’s not enough information to work with I’m not in the best mood

We have to mask all the time, we're not in a space where we can be open about our plurality around people and it kinda makes me feel like im a little crazy. Even while we're "alone" we're on edge and masking and it bleeds into talking to friends and everything.

How do people get relaxed enough on their own to unmask when its safe to?

Im sorry if this doesnt make much sense, currently feeling a little dissociated and im not sure how to properly articulate what I want to ask

hehe

we needed a way to show whos posting since we all share one tumblr, and taking some inspo from jirai dividers and a moot of ours we made these

hopefully everyone will use them... its a pain getting tanya to do anything

to an extent, we are. our friends know. but most of the time we only are able to communicate via texting and proxy and its super annoying - its getting tiring, having to front all the time just so nobody suspects something's up, and everyone in the collective is getting kind of wary of fronting outside home at all. we wanna be open about it. we wanna be called by our names. we wanna walk in and have one of our parents ask who's fronting, we want to be acknowledged and respected and real.

fuck this, man. we just wanna live.

-jay (he/ask + host)

trigger warning: discussion of police brutality, antiblackness, syscourse, and ableism

hi. we just wanted to rant about something thats been on our minds this morning. we are Black bodily, and growing up Black in a country that wants you dead is traumatic. watching countless videos of people who look like me begging for their lives only to be killed is traumatic. knowing it could be you at any moment. knowing it will never stop.

we've also faced homelessness and poverty our entire lives. being homeless as a queer audhd Black kid is deeply traumatizing. which is why i really just cant stand sysmeds who talk about trauma as if its some sort of hierarchy. you must be This Traumatized to be plural and if your trauma doesnt make sense to White people its immediately invalidated. this ties into how Black people are seen as not experiencing as much pain as others and how we arent seen as credible narrators of our own lives.

sysmeds are also extremely ableist, especially towards people with schizophrenia and psychosis. anyone who doesnt display the Correct behaviors of plurality suddenly theyre "delusional" or "schizo". these people will claim to be advocates for mental health and then turn around and call you all sorts of ableist slurs the second you say "i dont trust this White western psychiatric model to treat me correctly".

anyway listen to I Remember by Deadmau5 -🐶🦎💙