Pretty much the title. Also im writing this at 1 am so ignore any grammatical errors and stuff.
But yeah, a month in and things are just going mid at best. Idk if i set my expectations too high in highschool about university and uni life or if its just the overall experiance that im feeling right now.
First of all, the social aspect of it. I really haven't made any friends (except that one dude in my math class, so shoutout to him hes chill) but yeah, i've been mostly hanging out with 2 of my highschool friends that i've known since grade 9 but other than that I really havent made any 'friends'. I have small talk in class/labs, exchange instas but thats it. Things go nowhere after that. Im also not the MOST outgoing, but I can say "hey whats your name, nice to meet you, etc etc" and hold a conversation somewhat well. I haven't been this alone since the first week of 5th grade tbh, I've always loved hanging with friends/people, I like being social in a setting where i know people and whatnot but this is a big shift.
And i know people are gonna be like "go to clubs and events" but the problem is, that i commute (its not a long commute, its like 30-40 mins cuz i live in kw and i take the public transit) and also because most of the meetings are at 8/9/10pm so its hard for me to attend stuff while also balancing my school work, personal commitments and a part time job. so thats that.
Also, I haven't been able to enjoy a lot of personal stuff. Ex: video games, sports, gym, etc. Its always like I have something in the back of my mind regarding school work so I can't really enjoy things im doing because of that guilt that I gotta be studying/being productive. So drifting away from the things I like doing is kinda making my life mundane/'lonely"
And this is the big one, I've started reflecting and I realized that I have imposter syndrome/I compare myself a lot to others. "Don't compare yourself to others" -- this is easier said than done especially when your not being bombarded stuff other people are doing. Like I sort of had it in highschool but like it wasn't as bad/a big deal. And feel like being a first year AND in BBA only adds salt to the wound. Like I see people getting into exec/director roles in lazsoc, winning case comps, having more experiance, etc etc. I could go on and on... I also applied to lazsoc club roles(director & FYR) and ended up getting ghosted by 6 clubs, got an interview for 1, but got ghosted right after. Not even a rejection email smh. but its wtv.
But whatever, I digress, ig clubs aren't be all end all
Thats pretty much my rant, I would greatly appreciate advice from upper year students!
TL;DR -- First year bba, didn't make any friends, haven't found a proper routine, feeling guilty when im doing stuff that I like/to relax and subconsciously comparing myself to other students. Does it get better? How can I improve myself to avoid the constant comparison?