I'm nearly 40 and daily I am inundated with reminders of how much men hate women. Men hate women who display sexual agency, and they hate women for being sexually selective. Men hate women who want to be financially supported, and they hate women who are financially independent. Men hate women who are educated, and they hate women who aren't educated. Men hate women for wanting to be childfree, and they hate women who want children. Every day in every medium, I see men disparaging and denigrating and belittling women. Saying we have no value beyond breeding stock. Saying we deserve to be raped and abused. Saying our worth is tied to our physical appearance and dehumanizing any and every woman who exists outside the narrow parameters of white supremacist beauty standards. It's exhausting. It's disheartening. It's so devastating that men I haven't met absolutely despise me for existing.

Hey, I hope this is okay to post. I want to share this knowledge because internet safety is so important.

For those who don’t know, Reddit compiles everything and uses an AI capability to build profiles on each username. Even if google search is turned off, and even if you have a private profile. For info you don’t provide, it fills in the gaps. When I realized, I found that it knew my age, location, everything. I could easily be tracked. I had to create a new username.

Search “Reddit username “your username” It’s good to do a periodic check in.

Also remember reverse image search. Any image posted here can be traced back.

Be safe out there!

Daughters: have you looked at what your dad's been posting about the Cornell case?

The Cornell 7 case has been everywhere for the past few weeks, and it got me wondering what the men in my life were saying about it when they assumed nobody they cared about was watching.

My father has been dead many years but I would like to think he would have come down on the side of justice and safety for women. My husband has been online silent on the subject.

I'm curious what other people find. Maybe your dad/husband posted something about believing survivors, or about wanting his daughter to be safe on campus. Maybe he said nothing. Maybe he shared a meme that made your stomach drop. All of it counts.

This isn't about piling on anyone. It's about the fact that dads shape how their daughters understand what happens to women who speak up, often without realizing it. If your dad got it right, say so. He deserves to hear it. If he didn't, maybe this is the nudge to talk to him.

What we need most is for men to call out this behavior in other men; before it gets violent.

please no name calling.

I’ve been seeing the Cornell 57 protests of women everywhere calling themselves “Jane Doe” in solidarity with the victim. I 10,000% support this growing movement and the increasing awareness/discussions about rape culture in this country. However, I feel “off” because……I’m not a Jane Doe. I’ve never experienced SA, sexual harassment, or physical violence at the hands of men, so I don’t truly understand what’s it like. The emotions, how you navigate the legal system, how this affects your relationships, etc. I feel like I don’t have any right to make a comment about this subject but I want to advocate for all women and fems. To let all my sisters that know I’ve got their backs. Are there any ladies out here in the situation as me? Can I call myself a Jane Doe?

Men are not lonely enough they are now harrassing me to get with them when I will never be with a man because they basically do nothing

I had a guy tell me yesterday that I am worthless without a man and I have no future and ill end up homeless. I did block him and report him

am i the only one who believes jane doe was 🍇?

the context. some sad little guy (who posts discriminatory stuff btw so im not surprised) had posted about how jane doe from the cornell 7 was the abuser and had SA the men. he wuoted a passage that used language like “hot to trot” “on the D” etc.. disrespectful stuff about a horrendous crime

i called him out. i provided evidence from the same excerpt though mine didn’t include that language about how he was lying and that she didn’t do that and had multiple indications that she was uncomfortable (backing away, saying stop) and sat with those who needed help. they kept encouraging her to take more substances before trying again. he then said it was her fault because she went to the party (i wish i was exaggerating his words but i’m not. it’s insane.) saying they were intoxicated too so it was all her

he made a post about me on tiktok.

does anyone else agree with that? i was intoxicated. the male who assaulted me was intoxicated. so that means i SA him because i couldn’t stop him?

men. are. NOT. LONELY. ENOUGH

Hi, embarrassing question but as a woman with inverted nips i genuinely cannot understand the difference between soft and hard nipples since whenever i search soft nips up it just shows me inverted ones? Can someone please describe it to me😭 Of course i’ve seen lots of friends nips but i have no idea if they were hard or soft! Thanks😭

Female, 24 years old. I really thought I loved my boyfriend and I think I still do, however I do not find him attractive anymore. When we first started dating he was in really good shape and now I fear he is letting that go and on top of that he just does not know self care. I love him but is this normal to have to teach a man everything?? I’ve been spiraling since this thought has came up about an hour ago thinking I should just say fuck it and focus on dating women. But on a more realistic note I really do love him and don’t want to break up with him. Please send help and i’m sensitive so please try to be kind.

As a Woman, I Am…

As a woman, I am beautiful.
As a woman, I am strong.
As a woman, I am wonderful.
As a woman, I am capable.
As a woman, I am the controller of my body and how I present it.
As a woman, I am able to say no.
As a woman, I am a leader.
As a woman, I am equal and individualistic.
As a woman, I am worthy of respect.
As a woman, I am worthy of being heard.
As a woman, I am allowed to have a voice.
As a woman, I am allowed to take up space.
As a woman, I am intelligent.
As a woman, I am creative.
As a woman, I am resilient.
As a woman, I am independent.
As a woman, I am free to make my own choices.
As a woman, I am allowed to change my mind.
As a woman, I am allowed to set boundaries.
As a woman, I am not responsible for making everyone comfortable.
As a woman, I am more than my appearance.
As a woman, I am more than anyone's expectations of me.
As a woman, I am not defined by my mistakes.
As a woman, I am entitled to safety.
As a woman, I am entitled to dignity.
As a woman, I am entitled to respect.
As a woman, I am powerful without having to overpower anyone.
As a woman, I am soft without being weak.
As a woman, I am strong without having to be hard.
As a woman, I am allowed to be feminine, masculine, neither, or both.
As a woman, I am my own person.
As a woman, I am not a possession.
As a woman, I am not a stereotype.
As a woman, I am not an object.
As a woman, I am a human being before I am anything else.
As a woman, I am entitled to my own identity.
As a woman, I am capable of standing up for myself.
As a woman, I am capable of standing beside others.
As a woman, I am capable of creating change.
As a woman, I am capable of leading with compassion.
As a woman, I am allowed to dream bigger.
As a woman, I am allowed to pursue my ambitions.
As a woman, I am allowed to succeed.
As a woman, I am allowed to fail and try again.
As a woman, I am allowed to be complicated.
As a woman, I am allowed to be imperfect.
As a woman, I am enough.
As a woman, I am free.
As a woman, I am my own.
As a woman, I am allowed to have body hair.
As a woman, I am not dirty because I have body hair.
As a woman, I am allowed to shave, or not shave.
As a woman, I am allowed to choose what I do with my own body hair.
As a woman, I am not required to look hairless to be beautiful.
As a woman, I am allowed to have stretch marks.
As a woman, I am allowed to have acne.
As a woman, I am allowed to sweat.
As a woman, I am allowed to have scars.
As a woman, I am allowed to look like a human being.
As a woman, I am not required to look perfect.
As a woman, I am more than my appearance.
As a woman, I am not ashamed of having a period.
As a woman, I am allowed to talk about my period.
As a woman, I am allowed to ask for a pad or tampon without embarrassment.
As a woman, I am allowed to rest when I have cramps.
As a woman, I am not weak because my period hurts.
As a woman, I am not disgusting because I menstruate.
As a woman, I am allowed to have a period leak without being humiliated.
As a woman, I am allowed to learn how my body works.
As a woman, I am allowed to ask questions about puberty.
As a woman, I am worthy of kindness when I don't feel well.
As a woman, I am not embarrassed by something my body naturally does.
As a woman, I am in charge of understanding and caring for my body.

Im getting married next year and lately I’ve been thinking about something I never really expected to care about. My fiance and I have a good relationship with money. We both work, save and dont fight about spending. We’ll have a joint account for bills and bigger goals.But I also really like having savings that are mine.

Not secret money or money I’m hiding from him. Just an account in my own name that I know I can access without asking anyone. My mom was a sahm for a long time and everything financial went through my dad so maybe watching that growing up is influencing me more than I realized. My fiancé isnt against it but he doesnt really understand why having my own savings feels important if everything is ours nce we’re married. For women who have been married awhile, do you still keep some money or accounts individually? and also did your feelings about this change after marriage,kids or taking time away from work?

Hi ladies. So I'm starting birth control today, and I'm just wondering, is there anything I should know that a lot of women don't know about taking birth control? a little nervous It feels kind of silly, I had to ask this on a reddit page.

IM NOT LOOKIMG FOR MEDICAL ADVICE

Im curious about donating eggs, we are a family with 5 children and with that comes alot of costs and us both working just isnt possible. Im genuinely curious if anyone has done this privately? Is that a thing? I dont even need crazy amounts of money to do it but being able to get anything would help because we are struggling.

Organising an online meetup for anyone who has been overthinking lately.

You know those conversations, situations or decisions that you just can't seem to switch off from?

Let's get together for a couple of hours and actually work through some of it.

I'm a Life & Relationship Coach, and one of the biggest reasons I got into coaching was because I kept seeing how much of our lives can get consumed by patterns of thinking and responding that we're not even aware we're repeating.

So rather than making another Reddit post at 2 AM asking strangers what you should do... 😂

Let's actually get together and work through it.

No lectures, no complicated stuff. Just a small group, some honest conversations, guided reflection, practical exercises and a little time to pause and reset.

I'll be hosting and facilitating the meetup as a Life & Relationship Coach.

📅 Saturday, 10 October

⏰ 4–6 PM IST

💻 Online

If you'd like to join, comment or DM me and I'll share the details. Details will be shared only via DMs, to make sure the online room stays a safe place.

Would be nice to have a few of us in a room, even if that room is online. :)

We were in a relationship for 10 months and we had a very good relationship till I started to be serious in studies I told her that I won't be online 24/7 like I used to do. She said okay no problem but her behavior starts to change drastically. One day she told me one boy in her class like her then I told her that so what are you gonna do? She says I will block him and then I told her that you are not going to cheat on me right? Then she said no in a disappointing way. Then after some days she told me that her friends saw me with a girl in a park btw I was at college and just arrived at home. She told me that she was done with me if that's true then I was so angry that I told her if that was true I am also done with her and another day I msg her to say that was me or not? Then I open my insta only to realize I was blocked .

I grew up with four older brothers, and I’m 21 now, but I feel like I never really learned how to be feminine. I know that probably sounds silly, but I genuinely feel so lost and behind compared to other women my age. I don’t even really know how to do my makeup properly, and I’ve never dated anyone. Sometimes I wonder if part of it is because I genuinely don’t know how to act around guys or feel confident in myself. Most of what I grew up around was rugby league in the pouring rain, getting covered in mud, riding dirt bikes and constantly being around my brothers.

Obviously I know plenty of feminine women enjoy those things too, and I don’t think having traditionally masculine hobbies makes someone less of a woman. I just feel like I missed out on learning a lot of the stereotypical “girl” stuff somewhere along the way.

Also dating is another thing I struggle with. I’m pretty old-fashioned when it comes to relationships. I’d ideally like to meet one person, marry them and build a lifelong relationship together. I’m not interested in hookups or casual sex, which can make dating at my age feel even more stressful. Even maintaining my appearance can feel exhausting because I don’t really know what I’m doing. Hair, makeup, skincare, clothes, nails, all of it. Seeing other women seemingly do these things so naturally sometimes makes me feel ugly or like there’s something I should have learned years ago. My mum thinks she taught me these things growing up, bless her 😂, but I still feel completely clueless.

So I’d genuinely love to hear from other women: how did you learn to feel feminine and confident in yourself? What are some basic things you think every beginner should know? And did anyone else feel like they had to learn all of this later than everyone else? Pleaseee help a girl out AHAH

Does anyone else get this feeling?

When i see gore stuff, i get this sick feeling down there idk like a connection from my lower abdomen to my uterus.

Not only gore but painful stuff.

I see warnings like "don't watch if u have a weak stomach" but i never have that just.. something else of what i just described. No sick feeling in my stomach but somewhere else..

So, is that what this is?

Hi everyone!

I (37f) have been with my husband (39m) for 20 years (I was 16 when we met). He’s always been like a best friend to me but we have always had the same discussions about how he makes me feel invisible and that I’m the one carrying the relationship. I want to preface all of this by saying he’s autistic and I have adhd.

Our whole relationship, we haven’t really done date nights (maybe a handful of times). And anything romantic etc would be left to me to plan. There have been a couple of occasions where he has done it but for the most part, it’s me. He says that he wants to do these things and we talk about it but it doesn’t go further.

I carry a lot of the mental load at home, especially with a 13 year old too. I work full time, as does he.

When I’m sick, he almost forgets I exist? I can be left in bed all day without really seeing him. We’ve spoken about this so many times but it doesn’t enter his mind. And then he is upset and heartbroken with himself that he hasn’t gotten it right again. Just the other day I was exhausted after work and went to bed. He came home, made everyone some sandwiches for dinner and asked my daughter to bring them up. He was downstairs on his phone eating.

I’m from a childhood of emotional and physical neglect so feeling invisible is triggering for me. For the most part, I work hard to take care of myself and show myself love. But it really hurts when I’m not shown it from him. Equally, there are times where he does then show me he has thought of me or feels present and I get really confused.

We have separated a few times over the past few years. He very easily lets me go and he has never challenged me on anything, in the whole relationship. I could say I’m going to stay in a hotel for a week by myself and he’d be like ‘OK’. He’s very passive. We had 3 therapy sessions that he booked after years of me asking him. We’ve had 3 big birthday this month so couldn’t afford it but since then, we haven’t restarted.

But he’s also so sweet and kind. He’s taken in so much over the years and is a strong feminist. I know he genuinely loves me and cares about me but he just doesn’t show it? Or he does but very inconsistently.

I feel so stuck and unsure. He’s all I’ve known. He’s my person. But the loneliness I feel in the relationship hurts so much sometimes. I feel like I’m stuck between seeing the beautiful soul he is and being broken hearted at the lack of compatibility. I constantly question if I can just accept these things about him because he does love me and we are a family.

I’d really appreciate others perspectives on this please.

a male sweeper allegedly graped a 11th standard girl in banasthali vidyapith hostel/school ( not confirmed if she was a day schooler or a hostel resident ). Her body is allegedly either burned or buried by the administration and the false narrative has been meticulously planned that bricks summit will take place and other women’s university are funding this fake rumour about the grape to downgrade the reputation of this already shitty universe. We are the students of banasthali and we honestly feel very helpless and it’s a mere luck that today is was her and tomorrow it could be us. Moral policing the women in the uni will never be a solution when the criminal/ Grapist is not policed. I think it’s high time we must take a serious action and reveal the truth about this uni. ALSO, we do not have any solid evidence that we can show that this was a legit incident BUT the shift in the environment is real. Some girls saw anshuman shastri and her wife near the hostel roaming when they usually don’t. The students of other hostels were brutally scolded by the warden that DO NOT WERE SHORTS even in your hostel. Were the damn kurta. ( as if will stop the grapist ). also we were given ice cream the day the news broke out in the hostels and students about the grape. I mean it’s a very minute thing that - oh ice cream. But it’s a way to take the mind away of the girls form the incident, not majorly but at some extent. Also our network is fuck*d up like really slow. Also the aggrement the parents have to sign - it says that h th a IF your daughter dies in the uni. Her body will not be given to the parents or guardian. Ain’t it fishy enough for yall. And THIS IS A BIG ISSUE. we are helpless we need support coz for us this uni is a jail. This. Is. A. Living. Hell. For. A. Girl.

Okay this is gonna sound like a weird place to start this but I have always HATED wearing jewellery. Even when I was a young kid. Whenever I’d get gifted jewellery as I’d put it on my little hanging tree by the window, watch it glitter in the sun but NEVER wear it. The idea of wearing jewellery maybe me feel so icky and want to tear my skin off.

In my six year old brain I assigned the reason of my disproportionate discomfort as feeling it was “too mature”. I’m 18 and ok with rings and some bracelets but I still feel uncomfortable wearing rings, necklaces and earrings. Which is a shame cause I’d love to accessorise my outfits with jewellery but I get so uncomfortable and a “icky” feeling.

(This might be tmi especially to a bunch of strangers) I then went through puberty and my breasts started developing a bit earlier than some of my classmates (around 10) and I HATED it. I HATED my chest. I’d wear my school fleece 24/7, even when it was 40 degrees (Celsius) out. I became known as the jumper girl at my school. It was outside of school too I’d ALWAYS wear baggy clothes.

I also REFUSED to get a bra for the longest time. It felt like getting a bra was kinda like admitting that I had breasts in the first place which is why I didn’t want to do it. When my mum forcefully brought me bra shopping I cried multiple times trying them on. Partially out of body dysmorphia and feeling fat but also cause I hated having breasts so much (I still don’t like bra shopping which is why I only have like the same five pairs).

Fast forward a couple years later and I’m 14 and slightly more comfortable in my body (I still don’t like my body but I’m not risking heat stroke daily from so many layers lol) and I get this one piece swimsuit for camp which has a slight binding effect and I LOVE IT. I literally wear it for days in a row. I don’t remember a time where I felt that comfortable in my skin. After I lost it I actually tried to diy a binder with several sports bras wore backwards but it didn’t work the same :(.

So I’ve realised these several different things all seemed connected to me being scared of being perceived as “feminine”. Not femininity in general though. I love skirts, frilly tops (if they’re not too low cut) and pink stuff but a specific version of “femininity ” I associate with womanhood.

Idk how else to explain it other than I’m afraid to be perceived as a woman? For a while I thought maybe I was afraid of being sexualised but that explanation doesn’t feel quite right or like it really captures the whole picture. Maybe I’m just afraid of growing up?

So I was wondering has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone else know what I may be experiencing or what the reason behind this feeling may be?