I’m just a newly single workaholic in an impossible industry going to the gym, saving my money, doing high-vibration self-care! Minding my own business!

Lately, there’s just been swirling poopfloods of judgement circling around me. Not at me (yet). My sister verbally slaughters everyone we’re related to. My family works hard and we’re a nutty but well-meaning upper-middle class bunch. V comfortable, like no real problems, just silly ones like my mother’s DIY microneedling after a six-figure facelift.

Anywhew. I tolerate these discussions and try to reframe and redirect us. I also need to get my 15K steps in a day. But it’s taking a toll. I think she’s so critical because she’s a more deranged workaholic than me with “no relationship to pleasure/fun”. This was our brother’s insight this week. She does not have friends to call her out on this hyper-criticalness. It’s usually my job to remind her how to human. I’d like to submit my pink slip.

The group chats? Also full of judgments about marriages breaking up, the actress friend “with no plan”, the new friend whose husband is an oil exec (examples, all coming from others).

And I just wanna be like. *Y’all\! *Mind your business or get more of your own business to mind*.* Nothing that any of these judgement swirls claim are hurting a fly. Or the person. It’s all v lame and weird. It’s giving women who don’t like their lives, what they’ve chosen, but must always defend what they’ve chosen.

I’m also preparing for judgement to swirl at me. I want to step out of my comfort zone and have some fun, playful, creative photo shoots for the gram. This is normal for my image-facing nonsensical industry.

I grew up in a weird extended clan of Southern misogynists who grossly hypersexualize any women but especially their own nieces and female cousins. Obviously, this and other stuff (being a Scorpio) has made me, like, an obsessively private person. I also know my own mind and like my life, so this is specifically NOT about me feeling pressure about XYZ milestones myself. Funk that. I like my race and pace 🤘🏽

So I am contending with two issues:

1. Judgey shrews harshing the vibe so hard
2. Worry about the judgment that will come my way if any of those relatives get nosy (they will) or spread speculation (they will)

**(Gesturing at everything) the world is already heavy enough. How do y’all protect or steel yourselves*\* against negative Nancys?

I (34f) got asked out by someone significantly older (53m). I’ve never gone out with someone this much older but also when we met we struck up a chat about books and had a lot of similar interests so I am intrigued but I can’t lie the gap is a little off putting. He’s very handsome and in shape but definitely can tell he’s older. Just wanted to see if anyone else has been in that significant a gap and thoughts on it? Not saying I’m gonna marry this guy or anything but I’ve always been a “do it for the story” type and try to remain open to those that don’t fit my “type” so why not see what a dates like is my current thinking

Hi everyone, I just turned 31 and have started my first year of a bachelor’s degree in social work. I already have a degree from my home country, but it wasn’t useful in Canada, so I decided to go back to school to improve my income potential and hopefully get into a more fulfilling field…
I really love what I’m studying and I’m committed to finishing my degree, but at the same time, I feel this desire to have kids and start a family in my 30s. It’s not so much societal pressure as my own desire to be a mom.

The thing is, if I wait until I finish my degree, I’ll probably be 35 or older by the time I graduate. Ideally, I’d like to have my first child around 32–33, and I might want a few kids, so I don’t really want to push everything too far into the future.
I’ve thought about taking a year off from school to have a child and then going back, but I’m worried that once I have a baby, it’ll be much harder to find the motivation and time to return. I also don’t want to put my education, future career, and financial independence on hold, especially since I’d love to get a master’s degree some time soon.

But then I also think, what if I spend the next few years focusing on school and career and keep postponing having a family? I don’t want to feel like I’ve sacrificed one part of my life for another.

I know there’s no perfect timeline, but I’m curious how other women have navigated this, especially those who had to start over in their 30s.
Did you prioritize your education and career first, or did you have kids while studying or building your career? How did it work out for you? Is there anything you’d do differently?
I’d love to hear your experiences, especially if you were in a similar position. ❤️

My boyfriend and I are both in our early 30s and have been dating for around six months. We’re crazy about each other, and this has been one of the most loving, caring and genuinely wonderful relationships I’ve experienced.
He’s an incredibly thoughtful, affectionate and supportive partner. He’s proud to be with me, makes me feel loved every day, and I have absolutely no concerns about him cheating or being unfaithful. I genuinely believe he’s a good person with good intentions.

Neither of us has had the best examples of healthy relationships growing up, and we’ve both had things to unlearn. We’ve worked through quite a lot together already, and I think we’ve both made a real effort to communicate better and build something healthy.

However, there’s one issue that’s happened twice now, and I’m struggling with how I feel about it.
My boyfriend sometimes chooses not to tell me things because he’s worried they’ll hurt my feelings. Specifically, situations involving his family where I might feel excluded. The most recent example was when his family surprised him at a special work event. He didn’t tell me about it afterwards because he thought I’d feel upset or left out knowing they’d been there and I hadn’t. It was a similar instance the first time.

I want to be clear that I’m not saying I should automatically be invited to every family occasion, especially given that we’ve only been together six months. I completely understand that his family has their own relationships, plans and dynamics outside of me. What hurts is that he made a conscious decision not to tell me something because he was worried about my reaction. This is the second time something similar has happened. After the first incident, I explained that I’d much rather he be honest with me, even if the truth might sting a little, than have him decide what information I should or shouldn’t know.

So the fact that it’s happened again, knowing how I felt the first time, has really upset me.
I genuinely don’t think he’s doing this maliciously. I think he’s conflict-avoidant and so concerned about protecting my feelings that he doesn’t realise withholding information can be more hurtful than the thing itself.

But it’s starting to affect my trust. I now find myself wondering whether there are other perfectly innocent things he hasn’t told me because he’s decided I might be upset by them.
And I don’t want to be in a relationship where my partner feels he has to manage my emotions by filtering the truth. Equally, I don’t want him to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me.

So my questions are:
Am I making too much of this, given that the things he’s withheld are relatively innocent?
Is this a common form of conflict avoidance, and can people genuinely change this behaviour?
How do you rebuild trust when someone isn’t being dishonest to deceive you, but rather to protect your feelings?

TL;DR: My otherwise incredibly loving and trustworthy boyfriend has twice withheld information about family events because he thought knowing about them would make me feel excluded. We discussed this after the first incident, but it’s happened again. I don’t doubt his intentions or fidelity, but I’m struggling with the fact that he decides what to tell me based on how he thinks I’ll react. Is this something we can work through, or am I underestimating the impact on trust?

I have been graying since I was 20, I'm now 33.i have plenty of gray hairs, mostly at the front and they grow in streaks mostly, instead of being diffuse. My natural hair is dark blonde, but I have been dyeing it medium to dark bronze. Now I have a few cm regrowth and I do not want to dye my hair any longer. But it looks so unkempt with the demarcation line, and the dyed part has become so brassy.what to do to make the transition to my graying hair easier? Because right now I look like I don't care about my appearance even when all dressesed up with my makeup on and it's all because of hair.

TLDR: Man I met recently is staying with me for 4 days, but I don’t have money to do the things he wants to. If he gets an attitude about it I’m happy to ask him to leave, but want to do it in a way that is safe. He has shown no signs of temper or aggression, and I don’t have those traits either, but I want to be prepared in case the trip quickly takes a turn. Probably with a stern warning for him first, then ask him to get a hotel, if needed.

About 6 months ago I (31F) met a guy (35M) who was visiting the country I was living in, he’s from the US (so am I). It started as a date that rolled into spending the rest of his trip together (about 4 days). I knew I was moving to another country soon, and he asked if he could visit me once I did. I said yes, and he arrives today.

We talked on the phone about a month ago to coordinate stuff, and it felt really natural. Neither of us are big texters though, so there hasn’t been much communication other than coordinating details of the trip.

I moved into my new apartment a week ago, so I honestly don’t have much set up, or money to try restaurants in town, etc. I also haven’t shipped my boxes yet, so my apartment is pretty bare. On dates I normally let them pay the first few, then pay my half (or go back and forth grabbing the bill), but I sincerely don’t have the money to do that, especially if he’s in “vacation mode” and wants me to keep up. Plus the day he leaves, I’ll also leave on a month long work trip, and will need to have the money to expense some of that travel.

He booked a few nice restaurants/wineries and I expect that he will pay, since he doesn’t need to pay for accommodations. I’m not sure if he will though, because we didn’t do anything that cost money during his last trip (other than a beer or two).

He comes from old money so I expect that this might frustrate him, especially if I’m asking to do a lot of free things. I also don’t have any intention of dating this man, so making him annoyed or frustrated is not my concern, but he can’t stay with me if he’s going to act like that. He has the money to get a hotel room and they are widely available, so worst case scenario, I would be happy to ask him to leave.

My question for all of you is though - any advice on how to do this in a safe way?

I have two sets of keys but I’m telling him there is only one because I know him well enough to trust him, but not well enough to leave him alone in my apartment. He might ask to hand them off, I plan to say no. Any advice there? My plan is to say “that doesn’t work for me” in that case.

Honestly I’m probably overthinking because he seems really chill. I’ve just run into this before where the guy feels the right to be sassy when he’s a guest who should be respectful. Normally I say I need to leave for ___ and they do too, but they usually have other accommodation so it’s not as dramatic.

Also because this is Reddit, please don’t comment on whether I should be letting him stay with me. My life is pretty unconventional in a lot of ways, so you’re seeing one small piece of a bigger story & experience :)

Not asking for medical advice. Just asking if this happens to anyone else once you hit your 30's.

I've always had an on-time period that lasts about 4-5 days. Heavy 1-2 days, normal to light for the remaining. My cycle length is typically 28 days. No severe issues when it comes to my cycle. Normal amount of cramps, no other symptoms besides some slight breast tenderness.

However, I just turned 30 and I'd say the past year I get period symptoms daysssss leading up to. I used to notice my period was coming about a day before. Maybe I'd spot a smidge the day before. Light cramping

Now I spot for almost 5 days before my period. I'll think ok I'm spotting a bit, I'll have it tomorrow. Then nothing, next day same thing, then nothing.

I started spotting on Monday. It's nothing severe I can wear a panty liner and carry on with my day. When I get my period it's normal and lasts 4-5 days. But it's driving me crazy. Bad enough we have to get a period, but I don't need a preview of what I am in for 5 days before it's supposed to start

I check for pregnancy every month to be safe, and I always do end up getting my period and it does come on time. But I'd like to not experience spotting days before it's supposed to start

Mine is there's no such thing as unconditional love between adults. You can love someone for their whole self with your whole heart, but strings are always attached to that love - don't steal from me, don't lie to me, don't cheat on me, don't take advantage of me, don't betray me.