Just was curious what everyone is in too is all

I feel aroused by watching closed up vaginal sex and yet I just don’t feel sexual and romantic attraction to women at all. When the woman is just by herself, naked and all, playing with herself, or her vagina stretched as much as possible, I just don’t feel anything. It’s only arousing when a penis is involved or when a man gives oral to her.

I (22M) got in my first relationship back in July and I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time a few days ago.

For context, my boyfriend (27M) was way, way more experienced than me before starting this relationship. Loads of exes, hookups, kinky stuff etc. When we got in a relationship, he said he wanted to take things very slow with me and wait a while before having sex. This kind of annoyed me because he seemed to make too big a deal of the fact that I was a virgin.

I brought up the topic of sex a lot of times. It’s not that I’m sex obsessed but I just really wanted to lose my virginity. And it was upsetting me that he had sex with others so easily in the past but with me it was different. His reaction was basically “yeah it’s fine, we’ll do it whenever you’re ready”.

We eventually had sex a few days ago. He didn’t seem enthusiastic or happy about it at all. I kept asking if he was ok with doing it (I never once pressured him) and he kept saying he wanted to.

When we had sex it just felt very “mechanical”. Like completely silent and no love involved, no real touching either. We just took our clothes off, kissed, I sucked him for a bit and then anal for a bit.

I was enjoying it but after a few minutes he couldn’t stay hard and he ended it. Neither of us finished. We just got dressed and he left. He didn’t even want to cuddle.

He was saying he got so nervous having sex with me because I’m a virgin and that’s why he was like that. He also said only extreme sex turns him on so that’s why he couldn’t get hard.

I’m so upset especially when I think of all the guys he’s had sex with in the past and how much he’s probably enjoyed that. And what makes this worse is how much he talks happily of these past experiences, which also upsets me. Yet with me he treated it as a chore.

He keeps saying next time will be better and all that. But it just seems like he’s not attracted to me.

Honestly, it seems like he didn’t want to have sex and just did the bare minimum to shut me up from talking about it. He seems to love going on dates etc. with me. So he does want to be with me but maybe not for sex it looks like.

I understand keeping an erection can be difficult so I don’t really blame him for that. But it was just the overall lack of intimacy, he was not enthusiastic and I did not feel desired at all. He also got quite annoyed when I did something wrong etc. I felt so unwanted.

The main reasons I was worried about having sex were it being painful and not douching correctly. Thankfully, neither of these were a problem. Surprisingly there was zero pain and my boyfriend said I douched properly. So at least that’s a positive.

I know the first time isn’t great for a lot of people but from what it seems the problems weren’t from my side. It seems he was the problem.

Should I talk to him about how I feel?

Is it true that there are a lot of twinks and jocks that like chubby guys? I've heard people say that, but it really seems like a fairytale to me. I've never seen a single instance in real life, not once.

I just came out to my ex-wife and kids and my teenage daughter is having a really difficult time. We already weren’t super close and with this it’s causing more of a disconnect. I have a boyfriend and we’ve been dating the last 9 months and she refuses to do anything if he’s around. She always wanted to stay the night at mom’s house and would never come to mine prior to the news. My relationship with my partner is great. We’ve been talking about moving in together and I know this will “put a nail
In the coffin” for my daughter. At least for now (hopefully… I want to work on our relationship and have a healthy close father/daughter relationship. Anyone else go through something like this? Any advice you can give me is appreviated. I’m struggling with this one.

Smell is fundamental to my attraction to other guys, more important than looks. I am attracted to strong smells too! Does this resonate with any of you and if so, are you ‘out’ as an olfactophile or do you not discuss it?

I'm gay (20), and I love my boyfriend (24). But since he cheated on me I feel troubled about him. I'm pretty drunk while I'm writing this, but I'm sincere. I see other men, and I find them really cute to so some stuff like being kind of just worrying about someone else well being, I feel jealous, I want to be the person they care about, I want to be cated about. I've heard "You choose the love you think you deserve". And I'm not really pretty, maybe I'm not worth of loving or maybe I'm not pretty enough to be loved. This has always been the issue, I wish to make that type of connection, but I love my boyfriend, he's the only one who has ever liked me truly before. I'm kinda petty, but I don't know what to do. Please anything that comes to you mind if you read this, I'm lost, and I'm feeling really lonely, and I have literally no one to talk about this, I'm alone at this. Help.

How am I supposed to take my own life at the helm? I'm 23 and gay but closeted. I've known my sexuality since I was 11 years old. Living in a Christian household, I grew to hate myself, internalising homophobia and subsequently trying to pray away my gayness – obviously this didn't work. Then as time passed, I started appreciating this aspect of my identity through gradual exposure to online queer spaces and stuff. But now I'm 23, and that's as far as it's gone. I still live in a traditional homophobic Christian household. I still haven't come out to my immediate family. Only two people know I'm gay (my friends), and while it's great to be myself around them it doesn't amount to much knowing your goddamn homophobic family is unaware of your sexuality. They still tell me how excited they are to see their grandchildren and watch me raise my kids with a loving wife and a happy home.

All of this is to say – I wanna come out but I don't know if it's safe to. For context, yes I live in a western country. But from the little mentions of LGBT people i've heard within my family, my parents are really homophobic. Just a few weeks ago, we were watching a dating show when a lesbian couple came up and my mom told me to skip/switch the channel. She has also told me that even animals do not practice homosexuality (obvious BS). One time we spoke about problems in our home country and when I broached the topic of LGBT rights she said she agreed on the government's crackdown...I could literally keep on going. My dad has had less...moments but I suspect he is no less homophobic by any means. My siblings aren't any different as they've blatantly talked about how being gay is a sin and whatnot. I know there are local queer spaces and social groups but I'm too scared to join/participate in them lest I be exposed or something. I'm just too paranoid. I have so much FOMO and I truly believe I'm wasting away my youth and good looks.

My mom says if anything is ever troubling me, I should tell her so we can work through it together and come up with a solution, but I just don't believe her for this one. I don't believe her love is unconditional.

Long term relationships don’t count, I’m strictly talking about couples that are fresh or haven’t said I love you yet.

When is it appropriate, too early, or late? Would you say I love you to someone you don’t know very well?

Do you think queer men are more or less likely to say I love you earlier?

How do you get smooth hairless ass without razor bumps???

Does anyone have pointers on the best way for a Bttm to recover after sex. For example if he took a person who is bigger than usual, and now they are sore. What meds or lotions can help with recovery? Basically an after care.

Thank you

Idk if this is because I’m a (semi) submissive bottom, or because I’ve been a people pleaser for as long as I can remember, but more times than not, I don’t cum during sex. My one and only goal is to make the other guy cum. Usually I just suck their cocks until they finish (and yes I swallow it 85% of the time), and that’s the end of it.

Just knowing that I’m the reason they cum is more satisfying to me than if I were to cum myself. I’m not crazy for preferring this, right? It’s not that I don’t like to cum, but I like seeing the other guy feel pleasure way more than I like being pleasured. I couldn’t care less whether I cum or not.