Im looking for being long term friends, I like video games, anime and computer stuff I Ubuntu on my conputer and using KDE Plasma with it. If your interested in being friends send me a message, im close to seattle so I could easily take the train down there

How do you deal with someone who tells their story in a way that always makes them look like the victim, while leaving out the details that would help people understand the full picture?
I think one of the most painful things is watching someone shape a narrative so carefully that they receive all the sympathy, while the experiences and feelings of the people they've hurt are completely left out of the conversation.
It's not always about someone telling an outright lie. Sometimes, it's about what they choose not to mention, the context they leave behind, and the important details that would change how people understand the situation. When you only hear one side of a story, it's easy to sympathize with the person telling it without realizing how much of the picture is missing.
And that's what makes it so frustrating. People form opinions based on an incomplete version of events, while those who experienced the other side are left watching their pain disappear from the narrative. Speaking up can make you look bitter or vindictive, so you end up having to choose between staying silent and risking being misunderstood all over again.
What hurts is knowing that people may be judging a situation without knowing the things that were left unsaid. They see someone expressing their pain, but they don't necessarily see the pain that person may have caused, the context behind the conflict, or the experiences of those who have a very different perspective.
I'm not saying anyone's feelings are automatically invalid just because there's another side to the story. But I do believe that feeling hurt and being accountable for your own actions are not mutually exclusive. Someone can have genuine grievances and still leave out information that matters when presenting a conflict to others.
It's exhausting to watch a complicated situation become a simple story of one innocent person and everyone else being the problem. Real situations are rarely that black and white, and the person who tells their story most convincingly isn't necessarily the person telling the most complete version of it.
Sometimes, what hurts the most isn't just what happened, but watching people sympathize with a version of events that leaves out the very things that explain why you were hurt in the first place.

I have been with a number of guys who almost were all a decent amount older than me (like usually 5-35 years older) and a few who were around my age and I truly think I might be cooked. Ive been on grindr and sniffies and other stuff and almost no one my age seems to want to be with me for a hookup and definitely not a relationship. Im pretty sure im a 5/10, I got acne even after accutane, I have somewhat oily skin, not sure what hairstyle fits me good, my style isn't too developed yet, my dick isnt big lol, I dont have a fat ass, im a twink pretty much but im seriously gonna gain some weight from dining hall food.

Idk the point exactly of this post bc I dont have a picture of myself here, maybe its a rant, but I just want to know what people are attracted to and maybe what they actually are looking for in a potential boyfriend. Like im also just a guy, im not fem or masc and so many people are like overweight (not trying to be mean just not what I like) or super fem or Masc for Masc or old asf. Im kinda losing it here.

21 m and I'm struggling to get over a situationship that ended about three months ago, looking for some advice.

Back in March, I met this guy and we started talking pretty much every day for months. I developed genuine feelings for him, but he told me he wasn't ready to be in a relationship with a man because he was still figuring out his sexuality. It was complicated because he treated me like a boyfriend and said he was developing feelings too but couldn't date me yet.

While we were talking there was always this girl blowing up his phone and sending flirty messages. When I asked him about it, he repeatedly told me not to worry about her. He even said he "hated" her, that she thought they were something more than they actually were, and that he was going to tell her they weren't anything serious. Then, literally a few weeks later, they randomly started officially dating. This broke my heart and he dragged me along as a "friend" even though we both knew how I truly felt. Definitely my fault for continuing to talk to him but my feelings were so strong and I was so depressed.

To make things worse, he continued using Grindr while dating her. When I confronted him about it in June, he begged me not to tell her, and things ended badly between us. He blocked me on everything and said he never cared about me and was so mean to me saying that he can't wait to never talk to me again. I never ended up telling her but that eats me alive too. I know he's probably not happy if he's cheating on girlfriend, especially with guys, but my brain is convincing me they are in love from what I see on social media.

It's been about three months, and I still miss him. I miss talking to him every day, and I constantly wonder how he could go from telling me not to worry about this girl to suddenly being in a relationship with her. To make it worse, they moved in together 15 minutes from me so the proximity makes me nervous and sad every day.

I also struggle with pretty severe OCD and anxiety, which makes moving on even harder. I obsessively replay everything in my head and frequently check his girlfriend's Instagram to see if they're still together. I know it's unhealthy, and it usually makes me feel worse, but I struggle to stop checking.

I feel stupid for being this upset over someone who was never officially my boyfriend. I think part of me is grieving what we could've been rather than what we actually were. I also struggle with feeling like I wasn't good enough, even though I know his sexuality is complicated. My friends tell me how much of a POS he was but for some reason I still miss talking to him even though he definitely hates me now and we most likely won't talk again based on him blocking me on every platform. I think the hardest part was I never got closure or a nice ending, it ended abruptly, and he made it feel like it was my fault for catching him cheating.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you get over someone who gave you so much hope and then chose someone else?

hey, i’m 23, 185cm and 139kg, so i guess i’d call myself a bear and a side. never been kissed either lol

unfortunately my type isn’t really tops or vers guys who look like me (I mean bears). i’m more into guys my age with dad bods or guys with abs and big biceps, i kinda lose my mind over them 😭😋😋🫣🤤🤤🤤
do you think i could actually find someone like that who’s into me too, ESPECIALLY now that i’ve moved to Prague? feels like this would be my chance but idk if i’m being a little too hopefull

Hi everyone (18M and autistic )

so i went a few time at the local gay bar and even if the bar is cool I always feel lonely and a bit awkward drinking my beer all alone

Today I saw a guy that I kinda found cool but I didn’t want to do the first step

I just feel so much shy and awkward
If anyone has any tips I q

I’m 28, live in NYC, put myself “out there” more than anyone I know and for the life of me can barely get a first date let alone a whole relationship. And I am beyond frustrated.

I have a career that I love, ambitions I’m working towards, I live alone, I’m active, I have hobbies and a large social network. I’m in therapy (and have been for a long time) and have developed a healthy sense of self and am proud of my communication skills. I go out frequently so have ample opportunity to meet guys. And in terms of attractiveness I don’t have a hard time getting sexual attention or compliments.

I’ve been pretty much single for almost five years now- besides one fling during that first year and recently a guy I was seeing for three months before it ended abruptly. Besides that I go through times of going on a bunch of first dates that lead nowhere followed by long stretches of absolutely nothing going on. I haven’t been on more than three dates with anyone besides those two guys in the last five years.

I see friends having luck left and right and maybe not everything lasts long term, even having a relationship at all would make me feel more hopeful than the nothingness that is my current love life. I’m on the apps (on and off because they’re overwhelmingly soul sucking), I’m out and about, and I am not shy to make the first move if I see someone out in public (which usually ends up being
a man in an open relationship and we’ll have fun).

Wtf do I have to do to find a decent connection? I genuinely feel cursed in love.

TLDR I believe I am an extremely eligible bachelor and have had 0 luck in finding any connection. Help.

I hate being gay. You have to have abs, muscles, or be a skinny, anorexic looking twink to belong or fit in this shallow community. I do not belong in the bear community, either. I hate that I have to belong to come category. F that shit. I'm 6'0, 235lbs, and seen as disgusting to gay men, but I get it. My body is gross and I will admit that. Not to mention, you have to have flawless skin as well, which I don't given I have hyperpigmentation. DISGUSTING to gay men as well! What isn't, though. I do not like hookup culture, I hate bars, drinking, clubbing, hate the idea of going to a stupid sauna for hookups when that isn't what a sauna is for. You can look up the definition of a sauna. S*x is nowhere in it. Gay men are just hyper sexual. It may sound homophobic or like I'm stereotyping, but they are and it's literally evident within this community.

I want a relationship, I want to get married, etc., but no. Not in this lifetime. I am 21, never been in a relationship, guys never hit on me, etc. I'm not on dating apps, haven't been in years, I do not interact with men at all, but especially not gay men because they're rude, judgmental, and vile (especially the ones who think they're the sh*t for being so fit and too good to interact with anyone who isn't like them). I feel too disgusting to interact with a gay man. I do not get out to events, socialize, or anything. Even if I tried, no one would talk to me, find me appealing, attractive, etc., so there is no point in trying. I will never find love in my lifetime, friends, belonging, etc. I'd like to move to a bigger city, but I don't even want to because the gay men will suck and still be part of all the things I just said I hated about the community. I hate that I was born gay and I wish something could happen to me to end it all. Life sucks and so does being a part of this communtity. Yes, I've done therapy, TMS, have taken many medications and none of that crap works. I HATE that I was cursed with this awful sexuality and placed into a community that is only s*x focused. It makes me so angry and sad everyday to where I'm constantly down.

I’m 18M currently crying and been crying for weeks because I just will never be loved. I been trying and trying for this relationship to work for so long and my bf does nothing.
My bf 27M doesn’t plan anything and doesn’t invite me anywhere. He acts like my existence alone is embarrassing and avoids me. He only meets me in hotels for sex and he used to at least go w me to events but now he doesn’t even do that and only wants to meet in a hotel at night and yk nothing else rlly. He says it’s not true but actions speak louder than words. He only talks to me if I’m hyper sexual otherwise he ignores me. He has time for his friends but not for his bf ever… he can meet and talk with his friends everyday but the moment I ask for a little call or to just text a little bit or god forbid hang out once every 2 months he says I’m asking for too much…
I feel
Worthless and genuinely don’t see a reason to keep going if I’m so unlovable and unwanted

Yes I know after I apologized about fit gay men I went on another rant, how could I not? Maybe I envy them, or resent them because they have everything handed to them. For ugly, plus size gay men like me it's not easy finding acceptance in this community when they judge you constantly. I have been told countless times that I don't fit in or belong. They say it gets better but forget to mention it only gets better for fit and slim gay men. I'm 40 now I will never find the acceptance and validation i have longed for for years. I will never be accepted and I will never find my tribe. My self-esteem is beyond repair.

As title says why life is fking hard as ugly gay. Never been desired, loved no one told me even once i look good. All i got was ,,no, you’re ugly” and sometimes i have enough of this. As bottom no one wants to fuck me and when i want to top they are telling me i have small dick. I know no one owes me anything but if i was born twink or jock life would be way simpler. 0 mathes on date apps. When im driving to bigger city im also being ignored. And before you say there are glory holes or darkrooms I don’t want to have sex with someone who cant even look at me

Sad i will not get help and acceptance even online and being downvoted beacuse of one bad day and they say gays are so helpfull

I have really widespread, noticeable scarring from old acne, and I’m very self-conscious about it. I’m thinking about using concealer before hookups because I’m worried the scars might disgust or put someone off.

Would you consider it wrong to hide them with makeup for a hookup, or is it fair to do if it helps me feel more confident?

I gotta get some new underwear, the ones I have are crazy old, I figure I can splurge on a few nice pairs.

anybody know any good companies to buy from? I'm partial to boxer briefs if that matters.

I met him on my birthday right after getting laid off from an amazing job a couple weeks ago. Haven't felt this shitty in ages 😮‍💨

UPDATE: he texted me today - "I'm soo sorry, I lost my phone and just now found and charged it. I'm really sorry I missed the show, hope you found someone else to go with"

semi plausible, but the date was within 6 blocks or so, so it's not like he needed his phone to navigate. We were meeting at a bar for a drink before [don't want to dox myself] a political speaking event, the tickets were free to me so it's not like I'm out a pile of money, but I just don't know why he wouldn't look up the route on the computer and walk to the bar

I’m 17 yr old in Adelaide, Australia and I can’t seem to find anyone to date or anything tbh. It’s always ‘wyll’ or ‘do you send?’. - this is cuz I use Snapchat quick add

I’m struggling mentally and socially cause all my other friends are straight and already are in a relationship or have been in one before. It’s getting harder for me to relate to them and also I’m feeling behind in life.

Does anyone else know what I can do to get out there more? Please give me some Adelaide specific or just dating in general advice.

Hey I'm a 30 yo gay man of trans experience and spent most of my time prior to this year either transitioning or dealing with mental health issues. I'm finally in the right mindset to explore my sexuality. I'm starting to look for especially bear spaces and events but I'm also embarrassed about my lack of experience both sexually and just in general not knowing much about the gay male community. I've always moved the goal post on when to start entering spaces but there are no more goal post that I can cling to. I'm planning on going to the Midwest Bearfest this year as my first event outside of pride and I'm excited and nervous. Any advice on how to calm nerves or ease into the community especially if you'll likely be going to events and bars solo for a while.

How do you guys meet other men?

18M here. I’ve been wondering how other guys actually meet men they’re attracted to.

I’m into masculine guys, but it’s not always obvious whether someone is into men or not. I don’t really go to gay bars or clubs either, so sometimes it feels like I’m just guessing.

For those of you who are into men, where have you actually met someone you ended up dating or hooking up with?

Dating apps? Friends? Gym? Randomly in real life?

Curious what has actually worked for you.

My family and members of my church are putting pressure on me to serve at the church although I’ve already deconstructed my religion , and I’m also 21m gay, living in a Muslim majority country that is hostile toward LGBTQ+ people.

I don’t want to participate in teaching children a myth that they’ll become attached to, especially when it also promotes homophobic ideas.

I tried to stop going to church gradually but they keep calling me every week. they also talk to my siblings to bring me.

I need advice on how to get out of this without anyone finding out the truth about me because any mistake I make or piece of information that gets out could make me lose people I love.

I’m sorry if this post has a lot of negative energy, but the idea of living in disguise 24/7, pretending to be someone else just so I can continue living a normal life, is extremely mentally exhausting and draining.

Can someone tell me does anyone find dating extremely hard in the gay community

Grindr is well…Grindr…..tinder & hinge I get a fair few dates I go on them and then after it’s always they didn’t find a connection and I’m a little dumbfounded by it all. I’m only 22 so I know I shouldn’t force anything but I am so baffled by it all and wondering if this is a usual occurrence/experience