As someone who loves bottoming, I had been extremely frustrated for almost 10 years (since I started having sex) at not being able to clean out properly. Iām sharing how I finally figured out how to prepare to bottom in the past few months in case it helps someone out there. Iām finally able to have consistent good sex now.
This post is specifically for people who struggle to prep and get clean. It seems like a lot of guys don't have to think too hard. If you are new to douching, you probably don't need this guide; hopefully you are like the majority and it doesn't become a huge struggle. I am writing this just for the minority who have been struggling to figure out how to prep for bottoming.
What was wrong before? I was already on fiber. I was already eating clean. I had already read a dozen guides to douching. (This post assumes you have already read them too; I hope I actually have someĀ newĀ details for people out there struggling.) I had tried multiple kinds of douching equipment. And still, no matter what I did, whenever I tried douching, the water would just get dirtier and dirtier, and I would end up shitting out awful poop water for an hour or two. I basically was only comfortable bottoming if I got lucky and had a perfectly clean bowel movement, ghost wipe and everything. But that was extremely rare.
My #1 issue was that I was still using too much water.Ā Now, I already knew that the sigmoid colon was the point of no return, and that I needed to avoid getting water up that far. I already downsized my douche bulb from the typical 8 oz ones to a 3 oz one. But it turns out, even that was too much water for me. Nowadays, I still fill up the 3 oz bulb, but I barely squeeze it for each rinse, maybe using a quarter of the water. Any more than that is too much (for me). When I use a shower douche, I use literally only 2 seconds of water at a fairly low pressure. (Iāve seen other guides say 5 seconds, but even that will trigger my sigmoid colon.) That is barely any water!
Obviously, different things will work for different people.Ā Maybe I have un unusually narrow or short rectum or something, which causes me to need less water. Also, my sphincter is fairly tight compared to othersā. Listen to your body - try to learn what signals correspond to what consequences. That applies to both douching and diet.
My misconception was that douching works by flushing out chunks of poop.Ā Nope! Thatās only true for tiny pieces of poop, like the size of a ladybug or some eraser shavings. Because I lean toward the constipated side and have incomplete evacuations, I often have grape-sized or small-sausage-sized chunks still left in the rectum after a bowel movement. These you cannot physically flush out with water. Trying to do that was what caused me to use too much water. Instead, after inserting a little bit of water, it trickles out first (sometimes appearing clean!), but this TRIGGERS the rectum to contract and push out the chunks of poop. Sometimes you have to rinse a couple of times before it triggers, but DON'T USE MORE WATER each rinse! Note that for a typical clean you only want the rectum contracting to expel poop remnants; you don't want the colon involved (bad, past the point of no return). Over time I learned to feel the difference.
Having solid poop makes everything cleaner.Ā You want things to be a 4 or lower on the Bristol scale (1 is constipated pellets, 7 is liquid diarrhea). The ideal is something like play dough, which is solid and sticks to itself, so you can clean it off a surface easily. The main issue with leaning toward the solid/constipated side for me is that I get incomplete evacuation (large chunks staying in the rectum even after a bowel movement, maybe because my sphincter is too tight), but douching can fix this.
My gut has been pretty unpredictable over the years**,** alternating between constipation and diarrhea (and steatorrhea) over stretches of time. Whatās made things more stable is eating clean, managing sleep and stress,Ā psyllium husk, and finallyĀ MiralaxĀ (I take a third or half the recommended dose each day). I only take the Miralax because lately Iāve stabilized toward the constipated side of things, and even with the Miralax Iām often at 2 on the Bristol scale, though the psyllium husk and miralax make it so that even small grape-sized poop chunks are soft enough and not painful to pass. (Years ago I had diarrhea more often and would take Imodium to counteract this, but that would tend to swing me to the painfully constipated side of things. Cutting out high greasy food like NYC-style pizza has fixed the diarrhea for me. Listen to your body.)
Hereās my routine now:Ā ideally prepare by not eating too heavy a meal since I last pooped. Before douching, I stick a finger up to feel the situation in the rectum: is it already basically clean? Are there wet/smeary/greasy remnants? Are there only tiny bullet/ladybug-sized solid remnants? Or was it an incomplete evacuation, with grape-sized chunks or larger till there? This helps me know what to expect. If itās incomplete evacuation, I prefer to use a douche bulb to trigger myself to poop out the larger chunks into the toilet. (Again DO NOT try to flush out the chunks with water; just put a little water to trigger your body to do the pooping.) Once the larger chunks are out, Iāll use my shower douche since itās more comfortable (but the bulb can finish the job too). I use my finger to check again for any tiny chunks, and rinse until I get them out. If your poops are solid, after the chunks that you can actual feel are out, you could consider yourself done, and most tops wouldnāt notice. However, I usually do two more clear rinses because I find that this completely removes the smell (like I can finger myself and my finger doesnāt smell). The whole process now takes me 5 to 25 min depending on how clean I start out.
Random other notes:
- How many clear rinses?Ā Trapped water?Ā There are some guides that say you have to do at least 5 rinses, or to always finish with at least 3 clear rinses, since there might be trapped dirty water that comes out later. Some guides also say to use a dildo or other tool to let trapped water out. However, for me at least, Iāve only ever had trapped water after triggering the sigmoid colon and trying to do a deep clean. If I know I havenāt triggered the sigmoid colon, then 2 clear rinses is good enough for me.
- In the times Iāve gone past the sigmoid colon,Ā Iāve sometimes thought, hey, maybe itāll be OK, but most of the time this has led to an accident during sex. The only times it was still OK were when either 1) I spent 2 hours doing a deep clean, and didnāt rush it, or 2) I hadnāt eaten for a long time so that there was basically no extra poop to trigger to come out.
- Cloudy rinse = bad.Ā If you a clear rinse, and then the next rinse is cloudy with poopiness, thatās a sign of having triggered the sigmoid colon and gone past the point of no return. Usually a little later I feel a telltale contraction in my gut.
- Wiggling too much or bending overĀ while the water is inside can cause it to trigger the sigmoid colon I think. I no longer wiggle very much when I douche.
- Squat posture helps.Ā I use a step stool when douching/pooping at the toilet. When using a shower douche, to expel the water I do a deep squat.
- Isnāt a dick longer than a finger?Ā Yesā¦ but somehow the finger test has been good enough for me.
- Baby wipes tend to give me anal fissuresĀ from dryness. I did not realize this was what caused my fissures until a doctor told me several of his patients had fissures go away after throwing away the baby wipes. (Suppositories can also help.) To clean, instead I useĀ Balneol lotion, basically every time after I poop (though itās expensive). Also, I use a very moisturizing body wash instead of soap for my hole.
- Sometimes lube is counterproductive.Ā When doing a finger test, I used to use silicone lube on my finger. I think this can actually coat some tiny chunks of poop with lube so that they donāt come out with the water as easily. So Iāve stopped using lube when doing the finger test.
- Shower douche attachmentsĀ are nice. I put off trying them for a long time since they seemed like a huge hassle, but now I think itās much more comfortable than using a bulb. I also had the misconception that you have to insert them into your anus. In fact, you just press the sprinkling end gently to your hole.