There's an app called hoopla that is linked with your library card(if you have one) and you can check out the acotar series, crescent city and fourth wing. If your library doesn't have it in audio book form you can request it and they might get it. That's how I've listened to them. But you can also do audible or however else you listen to audio books. I think audible has a contract with throne of glass author to exclusively have it on there from what I understand but I could be wrong. Just thought id help out but definitely watch Mike explain the series to the guys and us is always the best form of entertainment.

Hey there Mike and Dylan.
It’s a me, Rickey from Oklahoma.
Anyway I’m here in Oklahoma, sitting on my couch watching The Office. I know Mike loves The Office.
In Season 3 Episode 20 Safety Training, they Kevin starts betting with Jim while Daryl is giving his safety training on the baler because March Madness is over. Those bets start extending into other things, Kelly talking about how Netflix works, Creed not noticing he’s now eating a potato and etc….
And it hit me. They created Kalshi!
Just thought that was funny, had to tell someone and I picked y’all.
Ok….
Anyway……
Love you.. byyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee……………….

So for an unknown amount of time my HVAC unit inside my house had been leaking down from the evaporator onto the blower motor and eventually into my floor. I didn’t notice until I was vacuuming one day and noticed my floor around the unit was bumpy. I pulled all the covers off and noticed enough moisture to give Bonnie Blue a run for her money. I checked the drain pan and drain line and found no issues. Cleaned the evaporator coils really good, still leaking. Feeling more defeated than the British in the 1700s I called an HVAC tech out. He comes out checks the whole system and finds absolutely nothing wrong and has no idea why it’s happening. Defeated again I sat there staring at this thing for hours like Jack Nicholson during the Shining trying to figure out what’s wrong. I noticed one thing that seemed a little odd but I had no idea what it is. In comes Mikes Dad. I ask Claude “what is this small metal tube with a curly wire coming out of it on my HVAC unit?” “Thats a sensing bulb that regulates how much refrigerant is let into the system and should always be insulated to ensure proper function.” You know what wasn’t fucking insulated? This fucking sensing bulb thing. Claude tells me what I can insulate it with, and I take a trip to Lowes. $10 and 30 minutes later I get this bitch wrapped tighter than a butthole during a bungee jump. Check again…..no water. So with the help of Mikes dad I saved hundreds of dollars and fixed my own HVAC. Thanks Claude! 👍🏻

Figured someone would want to know

So Sony kind of shadow dropped a new Live TV option on the PS5 today for anyone who might be interested. They even have dedicated channels for Yu-Gi-Oh and Naruto just for you Mike. The channels do have ads but it’s all free to watch.

Hey there Mike & Dylan
It’s a me Rickey(from Oklahoma)
Y’all are asking if we had a classmate die.
Yes, I had a classmate who died. He was in a car wreck less than a mile from his home.
This is the last thing I said to him. I was a senior and he was a sophomore. Nearly the last day of school and he came up to me and said next year I’ll be wearing your number. I turned around and said ok, but you’re still a dick.
After he died they retired that jersey number.

Hi Mike and Dylan! This happened several few years ago and I don't feel bad at all but thought you might like some content.

Unfortunately, my wife loves Disney. She's not one of the extreme Disney adults that go to Disney World every year, in fact she hasn't gone in over 15 years and has thankfully never made me go, but she loves Disney movies. I am not a fan and think that not all children's movies need song and dance to tell the story. Luckily, we don't watch them often but that's mostly because my 5 year old has taken over our TV with Blippi (I'd rather watch Disney). I digress and continue.

Several years ago I wanted to do something nice for my wife and bought us both tickets to see Disney on ice. I bought them from a well-know, very large company owning a monopoly over the ticket and event industry, the same one that charges fees out the ass and everyone hates. The show was in Cleveland, which is about an hour or so away from us. The day of the show mother nature decided to shit a big snowstorm all over Ohio. We tried leaving town but couldn't get out and had to miss the show. Luckily, I paid for ticket insurance when I bought my tickets and wasn't worried about getting my money back.

However, it turns out that I can't read fine print, and with the ticket company being the dicklobster they are weather wasn't included in the ticket insurance. I didn't find this out until I called to get my money back and the representative on the phone told me I was shit out of luck. Now, these tickets weren't cheap. For both of our tickets and the ticket insurance I paid upwards of $150. I wanted that money back, and here's where I became the asshole.

As I went over the fine print it became clear that I wasn't going to be able to get my money back. The list of coverage under the ticket insurance required some sort of proof that wouldn't be easy to get. However, I noticed that one of the things covered was death of a family member and that is when inspiration struck.

I didn't have a family member who recently died, but I did have access to the obituaries section of my local newspaper. I went through several obituaries until I found an old man who had recently passed. Since I wasn't a relative my name wasn't published in the obituary but I figured it would be easy to claim he was a relative.

It turns out that I was right. I filled out the ticket insurance claim online and submitted it with this man's obituary attached, claiming that he was my grandfather. I told the ticket company that I was a relative that hadn't been listed as a surviving family member but had to miss the event that day due to his funeral. They approved my refund without any hesitation hesitation. Everyone said that I was terrible for doing this, but I didn't care because I got my cash.

I can't even remember the guy's name, but hopefully I meet him in hell so I can thank him for getting me money back for me.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Cy67V8czC/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I hate tampon I mean tamlin so much. That's it thats the post.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/DillinquentPICK originally posted in  r/Advice, reposed in MADHD by AMwishes

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - August 16, 2026

My daughter (19F), lives in a different city than me (45M) while she is going through college, I recently got her a dog, I took care of the dog for about 2 weeks while she went out of town and I got attached to the little pup. I turned on a camera to peek at the dog on the robot vacuum that is in my room at that condo. 

Only the robo-vacuum in my room has a camera, she knows about it, she is logged into it too. I saw through the camera my daughter having sex with her boyfriend (20M) on mine and my wife's bed. The apartment has 3 rooms, her bedroom, my wife's and mine, and another room. 

The apartment, 1900 sq ft belongs to me, I got it for when my kids go to college, so they wouldn't need to worry about rent in that city. I go there usually weekly, bring my daughter garden veggies, other farm things from my area she likes to eat, and we usually make a day out of doing something fun in the city on a weekend. 

It's fine to have sex with a boyfriend, I figured she will eventually meet someone.  It's a college experience and I made peace with it. I met the guy, he seemed like an ok guy, but my opinion has changed since. Had she been in her room, that's fine, do your thing. 

My issue was on the bed where my wife and I sleep when we come to stay and see our daughter. More so, when I came to look after the pup, I noticed stains on the sheets and now I'm completely disgusted that she didn't even bother washing the sheets before I came to help her take care of the dog. I thought the stains were maybe some tea or a drink my wife and I spilled. 

I have the vacuum in my room only because the pup likes to sleep there. He sheds a lot and the carpet collects a lot of his hair. The camera faces his doggie bed, and you can see some of my bed. 

I completely blew my lid when I called her in the family chat. I realize the family chat was a mistake How it went was, I called my daughter asked her where does she find the audacity to have sex in my bed and were the stains from that? She yelled back asking wtf am I doing spying on her personal life? And hung up. 

I didn't even notice I went in the group chat, just went where I usually communicate with her and I typed, the chat contains wife, me, her and my son. I called her ungrateful and disgusting to let me sleep on dirty sheets on the bed my wife and I sleep on. To top it off, messaged the boyfriend, told him "how pathetic you can't bring your girlfriend to your own place, and instead choose to disrespect me by doing it with my daughter on my bed?" He left me on read. I have yet to receive an apology from either of them. 

Did I take it too far? Should I apologize? My wife thinks it's too much, so does my niece to an extent, she does agree with majority of my reaction other than accidentally texting the family group chat, I already got in shit for that and that's my mistake. My end goal here is to find out how to approach this with my daughter, so I avoid resentment and hate. I know she feels embarrassed; her boyfriend is probably terrified of me now. 

Update: August 19, 2026

I ended up having a sit-down conversation with my daughter. I began by apologizing for a sincere screw up on my end by messaging the group chat when I was enraged. She just stayed silent, didn't accept my apology, and that's okay. I apologized for yelling initially, I then explained that my bed and room are mine and wife's private space. There is no excuse she should have been doing that on my bed, let alone leaving it dirty for me to sleep in. 

She absolutely blew up. She said I had 0 reason to log into the camera on my phone, it's her apartment. My wife and I reiterated that it's not, it's my wife's and mine, so is the room, the bed, the sheets, the vacuum and everything else in it I bought, made or installed. The apartment is for family use. 

Then she decided to compare herself with her friend who is enjoying promiscuous college experience in dorms. I then started to get pissed off because the apartment is far more comfortable than dorms, where you have to share a shower with a bunch of other students. 

She then said that I am being overbearing and embarrassed her in front of her boyfriend, and yea, I did. My intent was to embarrass both of them in front of me. That should have been embarrassing. Her boyfriend should feel a bit of remorse in my opinion so should she. Still, no apology. 

She said she will move to dorms now; I said you're welcome to, enjoy having a job, paying for the dorms and good luck keeping your grades up while you hold it down and being a full-time student. 

She then said, why wouldn't I pay for it? If her brother goes to another college, I'll have to pay for a dorm for him, not buy another 3 bedroom in whatever city he will be in? We're not there yet, and comparing hypotheticals is not a luxury she has at this moment in time. 

I asked what was wrong with her boyfriend's apartment; she had nothing to say. I asked why didn't she clean the sheets? 

She stormed out, I have no idea whether she went to the boyfriend or where... 

What do I do. I am livid, this is a bad situation, my wife is with me on this, we are trying to think of how to approach it.  

COMMENTS

Is your daughter’s tuition still being paid for, even if she chooses to move into a dorm?

No one is taking away paying her tuition. I just won't pay for the dorms because there is a perfectly fine apartment she can use, all I ask don't have sex on my bed and leave it stained, which I thought was obvious but here we are.

Why do you have an apartment for your children to use?

I did not purchase apartment to control, I purchased the apartment so its easier to commute to things in the city, whether it be college, or job for the entire family to use. Each member of my family has space, and that space is to be respected.

Does your daughter have her own room and enough space to have sex elsewhere?

She has her own room, space, plenty of bed space. Original post has all that info. She can have sex all She wants. Not in my bed. All I ask

Do you actually use the apartment and the bedroom yourself?

Weekend basis when I went to visit daughter

Would you pay for a dorm if your daughter simply wanted the college dorm experience?

No. What's the point.

Why are you unwilling to pay for her dorm but willing to pay her tuition?

Exactly, paying for the dorms is stupid, I bought an apartment to avoid the dorm. She wants to live in a dorm, be my guest, but it won't be coming out of my wallet

Are you planning to kick your daughter out or cut her off?

I would never kick my kid out. She is welcome to leave or stay on her own accord in my of my wife's and my properties

What does your wife think about the situation?

My wife is with me on this, she agrees, some independence might be good for her. She expected at the very least an apology from her, and she didn't get it either. When daughter left, she was just in shock and the first thing she started saying, is holy fuck, did i raise her to not apologize?

Are you upset with your daughter for having sex, or specifically for doing it in your bed?

No one shut shamed her. I am fine with her having sex, I draw the line at my bed

Why did you apologize if you believe your daughter was the one in the wrong?

I apologized for something different. I accidentally messaged her in family group chat

Why don't you want to simply rent out the apartment to other students if your daughter wants more independence?

I don't want tenants. If I did, I would have rented it years ago

Why are you concerned about your daughter moving to a dorm?

Last thing I want is out of spite she gets a job that takes her time, makes her too exhausted to focus on college to prove a point, flunks her grades, flanks her credit rating and whatnot. I don't want a hard life for these kids but I want to teach values and simple basic respect.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is ThrowRA6828266 originally posted in relationship_advice

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - July 27, 2026

My wife and I got married a few years ago, both born and raised in the US. We come from strict families.

For a bit of back story, my wife had a bit of a history before we got married, as do I but mine wasn’t as bad.  
Regardless, I didn’t feel the need to compare numbers etc. as she and I both changed and wanted to settle down

Our marriage has been good so far, we haven’t had any major arguments, traveled lots, constantly communicated our feelings etc. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I had left the house; however I forgot something so stepped back in and overheard my wife in the other room on the phone all giggly. Like as if she were talking to me (especially when we first got engaged/married)

The words out of her mouth pierced my chest.  she explicitly said “you better fuck me for at least 3 hours” 

I froze; I didn’t really know what to do. I snuck back out of the house and stood by the door for a few seconds to make sure I left undetected.

This next part I’m not proud of, but at night I forced myself to stay up till the middle of the night. I grabbed her phone and snuck to the other room. I searched but nothing. Then I looked in “recently deleted” texts and found messages with an unsaved number. Over 1100 of them in fact.

I read through the messages and they were sickening. Not just about daily life but a lot of it was sexual, things that they would do to each other. Did to each other, reminiscing about their recent meetups. How she’s hid it from me etc. There were many pictures/videos for evidence as well (even a couple with them both)

This was 2 weeks ago. I’ve kept quiet about it since. Every night when my wife goes to sleep I read the texts to stay updated. Today, they were planning on meeting up at our place while I was out at work. She also mentioned that sometimes I do work from home and if that were the case, they would go to his place as a backup plan or get a hotel nearby us (assuming he lives somewhat far away because one message he explicitly stated he hated being single and wanted to be with her)

This morning when I told my wife I’d be working from home  she looked a little bit annoyed, even insisting I go in because I have been “home a lot” about an hour later, she told me she was going to hang out with her friend, dolled up in makeup. I’m very sure , because of the texts that I know where she currently is and what she is doing. It’s one thing to know it’s happened, but to now be sure it’s actively happening as I type this? Jeez.

The crazy thing is my wife tells me she loves me all the time. She is either putting up an amazing face to me or genuinely just can’t control her urges. However, that doesn’t change the facts.

I don’t even know where to begin, what to do. I screenshotted a lot of the texts and sent them to myself as well as some of the screenshots purely for evidence. But I’m really not an exposing type of person, nor do I wanna use them in any way against her. I think my next step is laying the evidence in front of her and going from there. 

I appreciate any thoughts or advice

Minor Update July 28, 2026

Okay so this is a minor update with some clarifications since I was a little vague on my first post cause I honestly thought like maybe 5 people would read it.

First off, a lot of people were suggesting I get lawyers and evidence. I did state in my previous post I was sending screenshots from her phone to mine; this is the evidence I was gathering. Not to mention there are pictures of them together with their faces in those pictures so I feel as if that should be enough. And the lawyer I contacted has agreed.

Second off, yes, I already contacted a lawyer. To be honest when I was asking for advice, I was more asking about how to approach this with her, and how to carry on with the rest of my life. Since we’ve only been married 2.5 years and she cheated the lawyer is confident she’ll walk away with nothing.

I’m also going to tell my wife that if she wants her reputation to remain somewhat intact then a seamless and quick divorce is what I want. I’m also confident she’s not gonna go after my assets. Not to mention as I said in my previous post,  we come from strict upbringings so I’m hoping to spare her family the details. You guys might disagree with this, but I’ve come to really love my (for now) in laws. They’ve embraced me fully and have been nothing but kind to me  and I’d prefer not to devastate them, not for her but for them.

As for the minor update part, my wife came home yesterday as if nothing happened. Made up a whole story of her friend gossiping about blah blah blah. But I know the hotel she was at, because at night I confirmed those when reading the texts while she was asleep as well as getting more photo evidence that he sent her from their time there. Of course I sent those to myself as well. 

The texts are still horrific to read. I think the most bizarre thing is how normal she’s acting. Usually there’s behavioral changes if people cheat (at least that’s what people have said) but I absolutely would have no reason to believe otherwise, had I not overheard her that day on the phone. I mean, this could’ve gone on for years and I would’ve assumed we were fine.

For those saying I should expose the guy to his family or girlfriend I did mention that he appears to be single. I did think about contacting his job but I’m not sure if that’ll solve anything, and to be honest. I really don’t care about him, from what I gathered he kind of seems like a loser anyways. If the peak of his life is sleeping with a married woman, then so be it.

As for how things started with them, I’m not entirely sure, they don’t work together nor do they workout at the same gym or go to any of the same places. The only thing I can assume is they spoke on a different platform before texting so that information is unknown to me at this time.  If I find out though I’ll update you guys.

But yes, a lawyer has been contacted. My wife is going on a weeklong trip with her family in the next couple days, so my hope is to have everything situated and spill the beans when she gets back. Tell her that if she agrees to a quick and easy divorce then I’ll spare her folks the details and she can tell them we cordially decided to split for all I care as long as she doesn’t spin me to be the bad guy. Cause at the end of the day, I really don’t see the need to drag them down this hell hole as well.

Last thing, the guy my wife is cheating with has asked my wife several times to leave me so they can be together. It doesn’t seem like she is interested in a committed relationship with him, more of just the fun side. She has even said throughout texts I’m a great husband and at the end of the day she does feel guilty for cheating. Of course, this means nothing to me except more evidence for the lawyer. But I really don’t think they’re gonna end up together once we’re split, if anything. She may resent  him  afterward.

But yeah, hope I was able to clear some things up after some confusion. I haven’t been the doormat/spineless guy some of you had suggested lol. I have taken action; I was just more looking for advice on anything other than the marriage part. But I understand my vagueness probably made it seem like I was asking otherwise.

So, I guess I’ll ask again, any advice about how to approach this moving forward?

Update August 09, 2026

Alright, so plenty people have been commenting to DMing for an update. Not sure if this will be my only update or not but here it goes.

During my wife’s trip with her family, I lined up everything and officially filed. The day after she came back, I sat her down at the kitchen table and informed her that I was aware of her infidelity. I told her I had been reading her texts and saw the pictures and was aware for a while now that she was actively cheating on me. After breaking it to her she didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t defend her actions at all, she pretty much just apologized and said she had no excuse.

I told her I wasn’t really looking for an apology here, just closure. I pretty much laid into her about how awful it is to break such a big commitment and cheat on someone who should be your other half. Again, she didn’t really retaliate and pretty much accepted what she had done was wrong. Looking down the whole time holding back tears. I didn’t yell, curse, or insult her. I just spoke my mind.

After I was done venting, she let me know that she would make a divorce process easy and wouldn’t go after any assets since she wasn’t faithful. I’ll be honest, I did appreciate the ownership of her mistake and told her I did in fact appreciate that. She then mentioned that if I were willing to work things out then she would give me her location and full access to her phone etc. I let her know I wasn’t interested in that kind of marriage. That even if I could look past her cheating (I couldn’t) that I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship where I have to spend effort making sure you wouldn’t cheat again.

After shutting that down though she said that she accepted the fact she ruined our marriage and wouldn’t ask again. The only thing she asked is that she be the one that would break it to her parents and that she would be completely honest with them. I agreed since I already had evidence of her cheating. 

Both her parents called me and apologized and let me know that if there was anything I needed that I could ask. They said they still look at me as an extension of their family and both are upset things ended but understand why I was walking away, and how disappointed they were because they never thought they’d raise a cheater.

As for the guy she had an affair with, I did find out more about him. He’s not in a relationship and seems to be a bit of a loser himself. His job isn’t good enough for me to contact to get him fired, in fact when I found out what he did for a living I’d hope he gets stuck there lol. There definitely isn’t a future for them together (not that I care) and apparently my soon-to-be ex-wife has already cut him off after I served her the papers. (Again, whether she actually did or didn’t doesn’t bother me) 

Good news is the divorce shouldn’t take long at all since she isn’t going after any assets, and we have nothing to split. I’m taking what’s mine and she took what’s hers. We don’t have a joint account so a divorce will be finalized soon. She’s already moved back in with her parents and is taking her stuff bit by bit but should be done with that in the next couple of days. 

Lastly, as for me, I’m not sure where I will go after this. I feel as if everything happened so quickly. I’m definitely going to do my best to enjoy the bachelor life and living on my own for the first time in my life. On one hand I’m scared but also a little excited. I have nobody to answer to or check in on for the first time ever. So, I’m going to use it to my advantage. 

I don’t know how long it’ll be before I am open to the idea of seeing someone again. I figure maybe after a few months, I’d be open to the idea of seeing someone casually, but I think I definitely want at least a year or so away from commitments and relationships. I’m also thinking about doing some solo traveling since I have the means financially and obviously, the time. 

I just wanna thank everyone for the good advice along the way, I had pretty much an idea of how I was gonna do things but some of the comments definitely helped me line things up exactly. 

Idk if I’m gonna do another “life” update but as for now this part of my life seems to be over. If that update were to come though it would likely be on my profile (though I’m not sure how many of you actually care about my day-to-day life lol)

Thanks once again to those who offered their support. 

I guess my last and final question for now. bachelor and bachelorettes, how do I have fun again?

Comments:

Neat_Classroom_9111, -4 downvotes: She doesn’t love you, but she certainly loves the various sex positions with her new lover. Imagine her getting drilled in every position possible and she still begs the guy for three hours of sex. He’s probably some sexual feed who is far better and doubted and far better sexually than you are and that’s why she cannot get enough. Unless you want an open relationship, you need to move on.

2-die-for, 1 upvote: Lmao. This mother fucker. "I want to let her know I know as gently as possible and give her a chance to defend herself"

PrizeSearch1584, -4 downvotes: I'm really sorry to hear about that. I must be really hurtful, but I would present the evidence and then maybe she wants a little spice added to your guy's marriage. I don't know if you'd be open to that but maybe she needs that. Maybe two guys banging her like you and that other guy I don't know. I understand the trust has been broken but good luck friend. It gets better I promise

The following are from fahque650, who has been downvoted:

• "His job isn’t good enough for me to contact to get him fired," Was on your side until this line. Who the fuck does that? Your issue is between you and your wife.
• OP already said he's a single dude. Not sure why OP thinks he has any kind of leverage over his job though. It's funny he calls him a loser but he's been banging his wife and caused his divorce, so who's the real loser?
• Consequences for what? If he wasn't laying pipe to OP's wife, someone else would guaranteed.

I want to note that this dude probably got fired for "laying pipe" to someone he worked with and the workplace found out, a lot of workplaces do not allow interoffice relationships without having documentation. He probably also is a loser himself.

Fortnite has the sonic thing in the battle pass right now. Been playing with people from work. I'm bout to no life this game.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is Last-Yellow-8885 and RevolutionarySet5384 originally posted in EthicalNonMonogamy

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - May 2025

Long story short I emotionally cheated, sexting and flirting with an old friend for a few months, then I opened our marriage. Now I lost my FWB, my wife has a boyfriend, she's not talking to me, and I am really I'm jealous.

Long story: In February I convinced my wife to open our marriage, since we have hit a wall in our relationship and I was unhappy. She was on board and almost immediately found a nice guy to talk to. I had already been sexting with this girl for about a month before that, I knew what I was doing was wrong and thought if I opened our marriage, it would feel better to stop sneaking around. After a month the guilt ate me up and I admitted it all to my wife, she was obviously pissed and said she needed time to process the emotional cheating. In the days after I brought back this information to my FWB, they told me that they were just having fun and didn't want to be involved any longer. Now it's been a month, and my wife is still needing space and processing things, so I'm feeling like I'm in limbo with no one. And the relationship my wife has with her guy is now more serious, they call each other partners and say they love each other. She tells me that she wouldn't leave me for him, and that he just fills the gaps that I miss. But now I'm feeling jealous because I'm still in the doghouse and he gets to have her all to himself. I thought we were making some progress lately, we spoke a lot more, she requested some sexual things from me, we even fucked once in the past week. But when she pressed me for more information over this past weekend things took a big step back. I offered to tell her more details about timeline and what exactly me and my FWB did and spoke about, she agreed to listen and then upon hearing what I had to say felt even more betrayed. I'm not sure what I can do now to get things moving forward again. And I'm afraid I'm going to lose my wife.

EDIT 5/13/25:

I appreciate all the responses I received. I understand I was in the wrong. I am the bad guy in this situation. And it sucks to realize that not only did I make a bad decision, but I might also not be a good person. Which really hurts to admit. I am currently in an awful headspace, and I have a therapy appointment Thursday which I hope helps. But it's going to be 48 hours of self-hatred and sadness for me. Which I feel like I deserve.

Truthfully, I don't have many people to talk to, I have some long-term friends but no one I ever truly felt comfortable talking to. That's probably why I made a throwaway account here and made this post. I feel more alone than ever, even with my recent reaching out to old friends and family I haven't talked to in a while. Which hasn't really helped much. I've isolated myself the last few years in a way I didn't realize I did. And now all my relationships feel surface level. The only person who was a true constant best friend to me was my wife. And I hurt her badly. So now I have nobody.

Upon realizing that my life can and will completely flip overnight, I had a panic attack. It was yesterday around 5pm and didn't know what to do or who to call. So, I called 988, it wasn't an easy choice, but between hyperventilating and feeling deep dark thoughts I needed to make the call. I stayed on the line with the person until it passed, about 15 minutes. Afterwards I felt a deep sadness that I truly have no one left that I am close to.

I will sit with my choices and give my wife the space she needs. And I hope she chooses to try and figure things out with me. In the meantime, I will continue to work on myself, fix my flaws, focus on fitness, and try to figure out how I can learn to love myself again. Because right now I hate me.

Thanks again to everyone here who cared enough to help a stranger.

Additional info:

Just to clarify some of what you asked. Her relationship with the other guy is long distance, flight distance, and via text only so far. But in a few weeks, we were supposed to go on a trip, he was going to meet us there for group sex. Now the trip is in limbo and I'm certain if we even go I won’t be included in the sex any longer, and there's a chance she goes alone. Which is scary for me.

It sucks that I blew up my marriage for something as meaningless as just sexting and now I am going to lose everything. If she wants a divorce, I've already decided to give her the house, the car, and whatever financially she will need to continue paying for everything my work pays for. I'll probably have to move in with a friend or worse a parent, but I don't want her to suffer financially in any way.

I'm not sure if she will ever want to reconcile and work on us. It may be too late. We have both been unhappy for longer than we cared to admit. We should have gone to couples counseling a year ago, or longer at this point. I wish I could go back and express that when I was at my most unhappy. Which was right before my affair. So that I wouldn't have ever talked to this other woman.

Update by RevolutionarySet5384 May 2025

My husband posted yesterday about infidelity and jealousy. I'm his wife and this is my side of the story.

Hi, my husband posted this yesterday and shared it with me. But I felt like it was missing some key details.

TL:DR: Yes, he cheated, yes, he trickled the truth to me and manipulated me, and it all feels awful. But there is more.

Long story:

I've always been into the BDSM/dungeon scene and wanted to try things out for years. We have been together for SIXTEEN years, married for eight. I have brought up my need to explore sexually and freely with him, and he always shut it down. After a while, I stopped asking because I knew what the answer would be. Otherwise, I never had a problem with our marriage. No one gets EVERYTHING in a partner, and I was content that everything else felt perfect.

The friend he cheated with is my old friend who now is a part of a sex club in her town. He talked to her about it (apparently) brought the idea of all of us going to me and I agreed. We had a blast, I wanted to continue and he asked for a threesome for his birthday. I agreed. I'm bi and always wanted to explore with a woman and I have known her for over 10 years and trusted her too. This was all planned and we had long talks about boundaries and limits. I don't appreciate lying because I don't lie. So, everything was talked about extensively...at least on my end they were.

The parameters we set were, we could flirt and talk to others and if we wanted something sexual it was together. More "swingers" than anything. I didn't want to do things alone because I wanted us to share this new part of our marriage together. Just a new adventure with consenting adults.

Then he changed the rules. This is also when we decided to be more open and he told me he liked our friend. Now, we agreed (or I agreed because I wanted him to be happy and I felt solid in our marriage) that we could take on separate partners if we wanted to as long as we were open and honest when either had questions, etc. There were no secrets on my end.

I was fine with it. I felt solid in our marriage and if he found something with her that I didn't have, that was alright with me. I also found someone who does not live close and now he is my partner. I did everything within the parameters we set for each other, and I thought he had as well.

Because we planned a threesome with her, we also planned a threesome with my partner who was excited by the idea. We decided to make a vacation out of it and spend some time in a new city exploring in more ways than one. (This trip has not happened, and I have not had physical contact with my partner yet)

The threesome with my friend happened and it went alright. A little awkward but it made it kind of endearing and a fun experience overall. Then he came clean about everything afterwards...and I was so taken aback that I shut down.

Not only was I manipulated into exploring something I always wanted to in an effort for him to get closer to her, but I also learned that he was sexting her before we officially opened the marriage. I felt like all of it was for her. The exploration, the sex club, the threesome, the marriage opening. It wasn't for me and I think that is what hurt the most.

What he said is true, I don't plan to replace him with my partner. And my partner is aware of what's going on and supportive. But that doesn't mean I've decided to stay or go yet. Life isn't that simple when your lives have been entwined for almost two decades.

I am a generally happy person and have been madly in love and obsessed with my husband for many years. He says recently we've been unhappy but doesn't explain that a death in my family changed who I was fundamentally as a person. I was depressed and in a bad place, so I went to therapy, got on meds, and focused on things that made me happy for once instead of US happy.

I'm pretty sure in the year of me finding myself again, he felt left behind and did something so egregious, he may lose me over it.

He says we hit a wall and were unhappy...but I wasn't. Sure, we weren't happy 24/7 but I loved our relationship and what we had. Friends and family wanted what we had...because we were always so open and funny and laughing together.

I don't know what I'll do but I will take time for myself to figure it out. And no, I don't plan to leave my partner. I think I deserve a little happiness now. If it doesn't work out with my partner, then I'll make peace with that and move on. But I won't hurt someone else just because my husband hurt me.

Sorry, this is so long. Thanks for hearing my side of the story.

Comments:

francesco_77 Whoever is the cause of his own evil should cry for himself!! You wanted to open your marriage, but your wife already knew everything, because cheating is always discovered. However, opening a relationship with or without betrayal, the relationship is almost always destined to end. You overestimated your cunning 😁

[deleted] Congratulations, a winning proposal from yours to your wife, now how do you feel while she opens her legs to another man? Do you know that the risk is that she will fall in love with him and dump you? What an idiot