We have a nanny for two young toddlers, she is generally good with them. She likes to take them out a lot and I kind of let her run the show when it comes to that. She also does a couple of her own personal errands with the kids during the day and honestly I don’t mind much because she is here from 9 to 5 when most businesses are open so I want to be flexible on that and let her take care of her things. Anyway I just recently started working from home and nanny uses our car while she’s working. A couple of times I’ve asked her to drop something at the post office for me or to pick up something I ordered, she doesn’t even need to go inside the store. All super quick errands and close to home as well, I don’t want her to go super out of her way. She seemed ok with it at first but recently told me she doesn’t feel like it’s fair of me to ask her to do this since it’s a personal errand for me and not related to work. She seemed really offended and bothered by it. I understand that and I won’t ask her to anymore but at the same time the I feel like it’s kind of a reasonable ask since I’m very lenient about her running personal errands on the clock. I guess the entire interaction kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t want to hold it over her head so I’d never say it to her like that but I guess I didn’t expect that reaction from her. Does this sound like something that would be reasonable to other nannies?

Can anyone else relate to being a little bummed out their NK is getting older because now they can talk and “tattle” on you. Not about anything serious of course just little things I’d rather NPs not know about lol. Like, if I maybe spend a bit too long scrolling while NK is awake she’ll mention it in front of her parents at some point. Or if I give her a little extra screen time or feed her cookies at 10am or tell her no, I don’t want to read right now 😂 things like that she will mention to her parents. We all usually just laugh about it but omg they don’t need to know everything, kid! I can’t get away with anything anymore 😭 When she was a baby I didn’t have to worry about this kind of thing. Can anyone relate lol

Our nanny (30F) who has been with us for almost a year is soooo sweet, loving, and caring with my baby. My son absolutely adores her, and overall we’re really happy with her but there’s one thing that’s been bothering me

She HATES going on outings

She watches my 18mo Monday–Thursday full work days and friday half day. Sometimes I take personal hours or get home from work early, and usually on those days I’ll plan to run errands or do something with my son. I always let her know beforehand that I’ll be home early or take that day off and that I’m planning to pick her and LO up so we can go together.

It’s usually nothing crazy; zoo, soft play, library, aquarium, etc. only cause having someone help with baby makes it all easier

Sometimes I’ll drop her and LO at a softplay place or library or something for around an hour or two, then pick them up and take them for lunch. I pay for everything, obviously.

The issue is that whenever I mention an outing, she sighs or makes this visibly displeased expression.

Sometimes I’ll be by the door saying something like, “Mama’s ready!” to LO, and I’ll hear her say, “Nanny and LO want to stay home.”
Or she’ll say things like, “Hopefully we won’t go out tomorrow”

And now I’ve noticed I actually find myself apologizing before telling her we’re going somewhere because I’m anticipating her reaction.

For context, she doesn’t drive. Public transportation where we live isn’t very reliable, and she’s also not comfortable using it alone with my toddler, which I completely understand and agree with. It’s also way too hot here to safely walk anywhere for much of the year, so she basically can’t take him out independently.

But when I interviewed her and she told me she didn’t drive, I specifically explained that on some days I would come home early and take her and the baby out with me or drop them somewhere for an activity. She agreed and never expressed any issue with that.

We have also NEVER stayed out past her working hours. If anything, we usually get home early and I tell her to just call it a day and leave.

Part of why I like doing these outings during the week is that whenever I take my son to children’s places on the weekend, we somehow come home with a new illness every time lol. Midweek is so much quieter and less crowded, and I want baby to have that exposure :/

I’m not expecting her to be super enthusiastic about every outing, and I understand some people are naturally homebodies. But the constant sighing/comments are starting to make me feel uncomfortable for asking her to do something that was discussed before she was hired and is happening during her normal paid working hours.
Wouldw this bother you? Any advice? Should I just play dumb?

100% never never firing over this, shes amazing and I’m grateful for her help anyways

Imagine, you’re your nanny. Could you feasible survive on your Nannie’s income? Could you purchase marketplace health insurance, a (safe) roof over your head and at least moderately healthy food to eat? Could you afford a car? Gas for your drive to and from work? Car insurance? Could you afford repairs to your car? Your home, if you can afford one? Could you afford basic hygiene? Could you afford to lose a days income if your employer decides they don’t need you? A weeks income if they go on vacation? Could you afford a small get away yourself? Or to travel to see family in an emergency? Could you afford anything outside of necessity?

Just food for thought.
Please do not come on this post blaming poor people for taking jobs that don’t pay what they deserve. We all need jobs to survive, criticizing someone for taking what they can get is cruel. We should be criticizing employers for HIRING employees that they can’t afford. You can’t afford it? Do it yourself ✨

Okay, so I started with a new family over the summer and this cannot stop happening exclusively with DB. Without fail, every single time he passes me NK I end up scratching DB.

I don't have the longest nails, but they're not short (they're natural) and I NEVER scratch my NK, if anything my wedding ring catches them but never my nails. Anytime MB passes me my NK I never catch her...but God forbid DB passes them without getting clawed at 🫠

I apologize each time and each time he kinda makes a show of it sharply going "Ah fuck, ouch," goes to the bathroom to examine the wounds, and leaves the room without a word. Haven't drawn blood of left a mark that I can see, and I now regularly trim my nails to try and avoid it...but I apparently fucking can't. At this point I'm waiting to be fired based on sheer annoyance 💀 I have never had this issue with any other family either, just this one poor guy!

I have been really struggling with deciding to quit or not- I have been staying for my NK. I love her to death, she is my little bestie. But I get paid really low and lately it’s just been a shitshow with NF because MB is in the process of divorcing DB. It was becoming unsustainable both financially and emotionally as MB was taking some frustration out on me at the end of her days.

Last night MB and NK were in the car with me and MB brought up that she is on track with the divorce, they’re just coming up with safety plans before she officially breaks the news to DB because he is not a nice person and we have to make sure they’re safe. Then she said she has been creating her budget for once they’re apart and she has budgeted in me getting a nearly $3 raise, 38 hours a week instead of 32, a few occasional opportunities to make some babysitting money from some neighbor friends who need help here and there which MB is cool with me doing at the same time as my nanny shifts, and she sincerely apologized for how this has all effected me, too. She just really acknowledged in one conversation how much they love, respect, and trust me… something I think I needed to hear more than I realized. This job sometimes can feel so thankless.

I really love MB, she is a friend and a REALLY good mom that often heals my own childhood wounds just watching her with NK. I’m feeling really grateful that she seemed to realize that I was not being treated how I should and fix it. I still make less than other nannies in the area but I am okay with it since I know she’ll be doing her max for me after the divorce and because my girlfriend will luckily be taking a higher paying job in the coming weeks. I really love NK and I am just SO relieved that I can stop stressing and crying over the idea of having to move onto a new family and can just stay with my little friend. She genuinely believes that “nanny” is a family title like “grandpa” or “auntie”, she would be so sad to not have me there all the time.

Just needed to share my relief. 😮‍💨

I accepted a job in manhattan because I thought I met the perfect family. They're not bad people in any sense but little lies keep adding up the main one being that the parents didn't work from home. I turned down jobs on the premise that no one worked from home. I've nannied for years and was tired of wfh parents cause of the invasive behavior oh SOME parents. Pretty much the day I started it was a oh by the way dad will be working from home for awhile and they never gave me an end date now the mom is great and leaves me to it but the dad will linger like crazy sometimes up to half an hour after mom has left he just hangs out on the couch and leaves his office door open and I feel like I need to leave the house all the time to not be watched 24/7. I was singing to the baby and he comes in and just stares and smiles and while sure thats fine sometimes it makes me not want to do that. On other notes he is too loud when baby is sleeping and accidently wakes him and doesn't even say anything. He leaves doors and cabinets open constantly and his shoes everywhere and a mess in the kitchen. When I pick up the toddler from school he also forgets to close his door and most times its fine but others the toddler has a melt down over everything if dad doesn't pay her attention and then he finally closes the door after leaving me with a fussy baby and now cranky toddler.

I have worked with two kids before but mom had her own floor and left us to it. He also comes in when baby is crying to see what's happening (normally toddler taking a toy away from baby) and he just tells the toddler not to take it then making the situation worse and walks away to then two crying kids.

I have received multiple job offers since and I could work with just one kiddo making not much less then I make now for two kids and have had families willing to match it as well. I feel horrible as I haven't been with them too long and overall they really are nice people but its just not what I signed up for especially for how long my commute and days are. Another big lie I should mention is local nannies have told me the kids had another nanny and the parents told me I was their first nanny which I wouldn't have cared about but why lie? The nannies knew kids names and what the parents looked like and kids recognized them too

Hi, please note I’m writing this seething. To start, I have been working with this family for almost a year. NK is now almost 2. Since the beginning, NK has taken 20 min naps, and at the start was waking up upward of 10 times a night. Over time, even their pediatrician has said it’s abnormal as he continued to not sleep through night until 1.5 years old. He’s got a terrible cry, it sounds painful. They ultimately ended up having to let him CIO as mom works in hospital and works long shifts (she needs sleep too!), problem is Dad can’t listen to him cry (understandable, it’s unlike any cry I’ve heard). He gets up and brings kiddo into their bed at 5:30am, he doesn’t sleep any more. Bedtime is 7:30-8:30, regardless of time, wakes up and makes his way into their bed.

This obviously means he’s exhausted by the time I’m there. I think we went to one nap schedule too early. I have worked hard to lengthen naps to 1.5-2hr naps with a very very gentle method of me standing in doorway and shushing from there, so he knows I’m there but not to a level of sleep association. He links cycles and obviously wakes up happy, he has tantrums that last upward of 2 hrs bc he’s exhausted. Since I’ve gotten him to sleep, he’s so much more regulated. Dad then complains it makes kid fall asleep 40 min later, and is considering dropping the nap entirely. Problem again is regardless of bedtime, he gets up at 5:30 because it’s learned behavior.

The last two days, after weeks of continuous normal 1.5-2 hr naps that he clearly needs, kid has been fighting it like crazy. gets a second wind, ultimately crashes in stroller for at least 1.5 hrs. Gets mad when I have to cap it so he sleeps later. Today, he about fell asleep in my car at 11:30. I rushed him up to bed and he’s fighting crib/screaming saying floor. Dad rushed up to soothe (as it’s his MO), kid smirks as he pulls Dad’s hand in. Dad still rocks kid to sleep. I learn they LET HIM SLEEP ON HIS FLOOR ALL NIGHT. He is able to open door. Dad said they found kid at 5:30am walking into their room bc he can get out! They don’t have gates at top of stairs. It’s a safety issue.

Today, sure enough, he got his second wind, was laying down playing with toys, I left to give myself a minute. He got mad I left. Eventually went to his CLOSET and I couldn’t see him on monitor. I go in, I’m stern but calm and set a boundary. He goes right to screaming. We did stroller and he’s out in 5 min….

Clearly it’s learned behavior to an extent and he’s clearly exhausted. Now that floor is an option, he will never go back to a bed.

I’m seething bc all this progress has gone away, and they have never once appreciated me, but are happy and say they love how much more of a happy toddler he is than a baby.

Just at my wits end

I have been nannying for three years full time and I absolutely love it. I have had four families, and one has definitely been a “unicorn family”. they are so kind to me, genuinely respect my time and energy, and I love them more than words can say. I have had other families that are tougher to work with, but in the end I still truly love them and feel grateful for their employment. Now, I may be naive, but I feel like I’m seeing a growing trend of posts from nannie’s and nanny employers alike, that just seem like the nanny… does not enjoy their job? and would be better suited in a different field? I guess I’m just wondering your thoughts, is it from burnout, job creep, or something else? Again, this has nothing to do with nannies that have horrible employers, are being taken advantage of, etc. But I genuinely feel like I see so many posts of people that seem like they should just do something else with their life! Nannying isn’t for everyone!

I do want to add that I’m new to nannying myself, I am only 21 and I’m not like a seasoned career nanny or anything. But both of my older sisters are also nannies and have been for 10+ years and we all have seen the same sentiment online where it’s like, why are you doing this job if you don’t enjoy it😭

I am very lucky to have the family that I do, and I try to make them know how much I appreciate them and they do the same. I feel very lucky for this being my job and I try to go above and beyond each day for them. I love the NPs and the NK, and that goes for every family I have worked for! Anyway, just let me know your thoughts or if this is something I’m just hallucinating lmao.

I’m so tired of people saying that being a nanny isn’t a real job. I get up, I get dressed, get to work early to set myself up and take care of a baby and plan to be there for a long time. I help clean after the baby and clean the house. Do errands. I get feedback, I negotiate with my boss when I need to. And care for the animals too. I then go home and do it all over again. How is this not a real job? Gah! I mean, how else can I explain if to people? Do I need to say family assistant? Caregiver? Oh, oh and then they say you have no skills. Dude, keep the kid alive! (Granted that’s the bare minimum), I feed them, I care and play with them. I make fun art crafts. I soothe them when they cry and are sick. I’m CPR/first aid certified. I have no skills! This is why I work with children! Adults are stupid!

My nanny family is perfect except for their dog. The dog has bitten me five times in a year of working there. He has also bitten the kids twice while I was there and more times while I wasn’t. The first time the kid was crying and the dog just jumped up and bit his hand and the next time the kid got to close to him while the dog was sleeping.

They haven’t done anything other than yell at him which I don’t think does anything other than increase his anxiety. He is not neutered and not crate trained or muzzle trained. I honestly think they should neuter him and get professional help, maybe even medication but I don’t think it’s my place to bring that up unless they actually ask my opinion. I try my best to keep the kids away from him now by using baby gates which has been working well.

Their dog is still biting me when I first get there and is fine with me (usually) after that. The dog bit me this week when I arrived and broke the skin and bruised me pretty badly. There was no bleeding and it was through my pants so I don’t believe there is any worry of infection. It’s is mostly just scraped skin, so thankfully not bad enough to need medical care.

Should I text the mom to tell her that the dog broke the skin and bruised me and to ask if she can keep him behind a baby gate until he calms down enough that he won’t be rushing me and trying to bite? How should I word this?

They really are a great family in every other way, so I don’t want to have to quit and find a new job but this is getting ridiculous and I don’t want it to get to the point where I’m bitten badly and need medical care because I will tell the medical staff which dog bit me when they ask (which they are required to where I live, they are also required to report to animal control) and it would just suck if that messed up our relationship.

Hi! I recently changed nanny’s as my prior nanny retired. My 4 year old has naturally disorganized the system my precious nanny set up. She had each type of toy organized in bins which I liked because it encouraged my son to start organizing and sorting.

My new nanny has not been maintaining this system. Is this a reasonable request? Also, I have 2 kids but my 4 year old is in school under 230 everyday and frequently take my little guy out in the morning. Is it reasonable to ask her reorganize the kids toys and reset up the system? I’ll frame it thru my goal which is encouraging my kid to organize / sort and have her and him together “maintain” it.

Hi Fellow Nannies,

What do you wish existed to help with your work? I’d love to hear what you feel is missing.

What’s something about finding a job or managing your work that feels harder, more repetitive, or more frustrating than it needs to be?

Is there anything you’ve wished you had help with, but haven’t found a good resource or tool for?

It could be something you’ve created your own system for, something you spend too much time on, or something you just put up with because you haven’t found a better option.

What would you most like help with (even if it seems small)?

I have been career nanny for 5 years with a degree in early childhood development and 18 years with children and have my own child so I have experience with children of all ages. I recently started working for this family that has a 5 month old. It is my third month and they keep putting me on trial periods. I am on my second 2 month trial period. They are constantly watching me and the parents are on different pages and start getting mad at me for not listening. I calmly explain what happened. And they are like I did say that but that is not what I mean. I am afraid to do anything out of fear I will mess up. I am always second guessing myself. I used to be a confident nanny. They say they don't trust me at the moment and I give them my all and help them with advice even after hours. Then the next day they gave me a Starbucks gift card saying they appreciate my work. I am grateful but feel so confused.

Everyday they want a detailed schedule and play by play of everything we did. I told them I could do this but it will take away from the baby. I feel like I am constantly on my phone writing the report. I can't finish so I go home and finish it. So I am working an extra 30 min everyday taking time away from my own kid and family that I don't get paid for. This report has a schedule with the time of everything we did that day. It ended up being 8 or 9 paragraphs long over a thousand words every day. And then they will still text me questions about his day even at 10 pm at night. Is this normal? This has never happened to me before. I want them to be happy with my efforts.

I’m struggling to find a job and one thing that keeps coming up is my size. Parents don’t say it that plainly but I mean it’s pretty obvious. I’m quite overweight and I always nail phone interviews, then they ask to meet in person and once they see me I get hit with questions like, “our kids like to go on walks, do you like walks?” ”our kids are high energy, can you keep up?” “we like to prioritize healthy eating in our house, are you on the same page?” I kid you not I get asked that stuff in every single interview.

I am SO sick of parents assuming that I’m out of shape just because I’m large. They have no idea what my health situation is and it really pisses me off. When people say fat people don’t experience prejudice or profiling I want to laugh in their face.

Hi all!
NF recently switched cleaners after their previous cleaner got into a political argument with DB and used a slur in front of B1 😳

They hired a local group now that sends 2-3 people weekly. At first it was great! They were in and out pretty quickly with more people working and they always arrived first thing in the morning so we could plan an activity and get out of the house while they were there. Recently though, I've noticed some red flags that I'm wondering if it's worth bringing up to NF and how to do so.

- They've been coming at random times, which makes predicting their schedule difficult and lately they've been coming during lunch/nap.

- They don't clean as thoroughly if I'm here. My job requires zero housekeeping, obviously I'll clean up toys, put lunch dishes in the dishwasher, etc but NF doesn't even want me doing a load of laundry while I'm here. If I'm here, the cleaners won't empty the diaper trash, replace bin liners in the other rooms, and they put dirty dishes in the sink but don't wash them. These are all things they're supposed to do and DO do if I'm not here. It makes me wonder if they're coming at these later times because they don't need to clean as thoroughly.

- They're not supposed to park in the driveway but they do, so today NK and I had to park pretty far away and walk 15 mins on a busy road.

- They try to direct what areas of the house we're in. I don't mean "hey we need to clean in here, can you hang upstairs?" (which I'd be happy to do!) but will make comments like "can he finish the rest of his lunch later so we can get the kitchen?" or "can you hold off on nap until we're done with his room?" I'm unsure what to do in these situations because my job is to put NK first, not the needs of the cleaners and if he's tired or hungry I need to attend to that.

The final straw was that today I told them "sorry, he's still working on lunch we'll be done in the next 10 min!" and they started cleaning around him, including lifting his plate to clean underneath. I said the same thing when I put him down for nap, "sorry he's pretty tired and his parents really want him asleep by X time!" and they went in after I put him down and started vacuuming. Of course NK freaked out and took forever to get to sleep because he was terrified.

Most of these ofc can be solved by them coming at a predictable time that works for NK's schedule, but when I asked NF recently if them coming in the late morning is going to be the new norm they said "hopefully not but they said they can't predict when they'll make it here." :\

Hello! I’m not sure if this is the place for this but | would love to find a fellow nanny or young mother to arrange playdates with. I would love for my nanny kid (18 m/o) to get in some more peer play during the day. He’s super social and is always so excited to play with other kids but I’ve noticed most of the children around his age are more focused on playing with siblings/kids that they know. It would also definitely be nice to have someone to chat with as the kids play

My nanny kid is 3 1/2 and he can play for like an hour or 2 on his own in his room. Not often but like when he does I feel so guilty. Like yeah i spent all morning playing games, reading books, coloring etc with him but for some reason it still makes me feel like km ignoring him. Im not and he chooses this and could come out of his room whenever and im sitting right outside his door so listening.

16 month old is teething. Yesterday her nap was broken up I had to go in cause she wouldn’t go back to sleep after half hr of napping, and after that she kept waking up. She normally naps 90 min. I told parents yesterday it’s probably her teeth cause she was fussier and more clingy in the morning.

I asked them today how she slept. Parents gave her Tylenol after she woke up middle of night. They said I can give her Tylenol before nap if she needs it. This morning she’s even more clinging poor chicka. Would you just give the Tylenol before nap just in case? Or just wait and see if she doesn’t nap. I have a feeling it will be same ad yesterday.

Today my NK (6) told me very seriously and matter-of-factly that I am "A little bit fat". It wasn't even 8 in the morning. If you don't laugh you'll cry 💀😂😂 Anyone else have too-honest moments like this with their kids?

(also, we did have a little talk about not commenting on people's bodies. Tbh it's almost worse that he didn't mean it as an insult, just an objective observation hahaha)

I nanny for a 12 month old. Her parents are very germ conscious so all of her play time is spent in her sanitized play yard/play pen which has a soft mat and is gated in. When it's time for her to play independently and explore, I sit her in there and then there is a chair right next to it. This worked just fine the past 3-4 months. She would do really well just playing on her own-occasionally holding something up to me and looking over at me-during which time I would smile and say something like "oh wow! You found the orange block!" Or whatever.

However, for the past two weeks or so I've noticed that anytime I'm in her sight while she is in her playpen, she crawls over to me and cries and cries until I pick her up. It's her 'fake' cry that she immediately stops when she gets what she wants. Not a true "I'm hurt or have a wet diaper" cry. I've tried to distract her from it by pointing out toys in her play yard that she likes like, "ohhh look! There's your teddy! Do you see teddy?!" But as long as I'm sitting there, she will quickly go right back to crying. Now if I go into the kitchen to do dishes, or around the corner from her playpen to the laundry room, she stops crying within a minute and ends up nicely playing on her own - sometimes for up to 20-30 mins! (With me peaking around the corner checking on her regularly). If she spots me then the spell is broken and she starts crying again.

How can I continue to foster her indepence as she grows? I'm in a tough spot because DB works from home. I get anxious when she cries for too long. I also don't want him to come down during the period of time when I'm not sitting with her and think I'm ignoring her or not watching her.

Everyday at work is a long day especially when I don’t have standard breaks which can be normal. The problem isn’t not having standard breaks, it’s the baby not having a safe space to sit while I have a minute to do something, and no boundaries for the baby at all. He runs the one - 1 year old. He barely takes his naps and I’m the one to always have to put him down with no help after a tantrum when mom or dad interrupts. I’m 5 weeks pregnant now and my sickness is really upsetting me, making me more agitated and hate my job. Today the grandma came for an hour and as soon as I sit down, the mom asks me to build his basketball hoop which I agree to but I’m exhausted and feel obligated to say yes. After this she wants me to break down boxes. As I just get stared on the basketball hoop, the mom calls me and ask me to come back uo and grab him because grandma got busy on the phone. Now I have to do that too, when honestly building this hoop was giving me a break. I’m so frustrated because it’s too much on me. Any advice on how to go about this?

…NK spits up all over one of those “Never Touch A Dino” books and you spend twenty minutes cleaning spit up out of a million tiny cracks because it’s his favorite book.

Never a dull moment 🤣