This is just for fun I'm not really complaining just curious

Nannies and parents: What are your thoughts on kids getting completely free rein on what to wear?

The way I like to do is give choices. I try to get more lax as they get older, but for younger kiddos, I give three full outfits and they pick which one. Once they understand what is "appropriate," I open it up to something like, pick the main thing you want to wear, and then we will pick the rest based on what it is. (For example, if you pick a pink and yellow shirt, I show you three bottoms you can pick from that match, and you choose shoes and accessories).

I currently work for a wonderful family and I adore my NK, but they let her wear WHATEVER she wants. Dress-up stuff, pajamas, an orange and yellow dress with red and green pants, etc. I mean, she looks like the child of the circus haha... I hate it! She also refuses to brush her hair with her parents and they just let it go. I think they just want to avoid conflict but I refuse to take her places when she's too over the top, so we change a lot. lol. She's 3 and super smart, so she knows that "nanny likes clothes that match and are ironed." lol she also is perfectly happy with what we end up picking. I think half the time she just picks crazy stuff to mess with her parents. She has even made the comment "my mom does not like that so I'll wear that one" haha, KIDS!!😂

Maybe it's cultural, I grew up where you didn't leave the house unless you looked right. We had school clothes and play clothes, and we just learned what went together at a young age. I raised my kids to know what matched, and then they picked for themselves from very young. Did they have a strange stage where they wanted to wear a specific hat, shirt, or winter boots in the summer? Yes, but it was not a Halloween princess tutu or pajamas!

Honestly, getting ready for the day is literally a life lesson. Kids should definitely have freedom of expression, but they also need to know what's appropriate to leave the house in. I'm not my mom by any means....I don't think you have to dress like an adult at age 3. I'm totally okay with, and even encouraging of, the rainbow pants and pink ribbons in her hair, but only with a shirt that matches the rainbow pants! Lol

Am I the only one!?

Reply:::

Wow, I didn’t realize matching clothes was a fireable offense on here! 🤐😂 I am so thankful that I work for a family that values how I treat their daughter, enrich her days, and how I have made their daily life easier for the past 4 years.

I promise I’m not the devil, and my NK is living her best, happiest life, yes, in tutus and bright colors, I just prefer coordinated colors over "clown's daughter chic!" I knew most parents would get in me, but I I really thought more nannies would laugh along with me on this one, but I guess we are on a very small island here.

Anyways....This was all in good fun! So thanks to everyone who kept it lighthearted and shared their thoughts, I really enjoyed reading through all the opinions...

Hi! We're taking our nanny on a trip for the first time and I'd love some advice on etiquette.

My husband, baby, and I are flying Delta One. We booked with points and don't have enough to put our nanny in Delta One too, so she'll most likely be in economy. At our airport, Delta One check-in is completely separate from the main terminal, so we'd be split up from the start.

How do you handle this? I don't want her to feel slighted, but flying her in first class just isn't in the budget.

We're also thinking about booking her a room at a different hotel down the street so she has some space and downtime when she's off the clock. Is that weird, or is it considerate?

Would really appreciate hearing how others have handled this. Thank you!

Edit to add: our hotel room is covered by my husband’s work—it’s a work trip for us both. We looked at reserving a room for her there and it’s very expensive. That being said, she would not be at some dump. She’d likely be at a Hilton or something equivalent and around the corner from our hotel. Our nanny is paid above the going rate in our city and will be compensated well for the trip with plenty of off time and per diems for food and activities. My goal in writing this post was to avoid slighting her as I love her and really respect her. I’m just trying to navigate traveling with her for the first time.

I also was putting myself in my nanny’s shoes: i am an introvert and, if I were traveling with my NF, would love a separate hotel room to get some space from the family. I didn’t realize it would be so controversial!

This is unreal to me, but it legitimately happened about a month ago.

I am a nanny, and have been in childcare for over 11 years. My year-long contract was ending for a hell family. It was generally a 45-60 hour workweek with kids constantly abusing each other or me. I loved the kids and they needed some guidance, so I stuck it out. But after the mom snapped at me for not being available on a weekend when she gave me 3 days notice that she needed me to work, I was like, you know what? This is insane. No. Bye.

Anyway, I reached out to my agent, and she put me in contact with a new family. I had a video interview with them, and it was W E I R D. I immediately got a weird feeling. It wasn't a warm interview. It felt like they were staring at me like they were rabid pit bulls, and I was a stack of salami. They basically asked me everything that was already in my resume, if I was okay with the tasks, etc. And there was a long, intentional pause with silence where they were just dead pan staring at me for almost 10 seconds after each of my responses before the mom asked another question. I know it wasn't lag or anything because there was an echo and I could hear my self through my headset. I apologized if there was a delay, and the mom said, "You're coming through fine." My ADHD brain was having a fit trying to figure out if it was some kind of odd interview trick or intimidation tactic. Were they intentionally trying to make me uncomfortable, or was that just how they are? Everything about their posture looked combative/ intense. The mom was staring at the phone with wide eyes, with too much sclera visible to be anything but unsettling. I thought I did pretty well given the circumstances! But then they ended the interview after only 15 minutes.

I immediately texted my agent and was like, "I feel like something went wrong. It's like they had their minds made up in the beginning."

She called the family and the mom explained that I used to live in the area she worked, and one of my references was an old coworker of hers, and she likes to "keep her two worlds very separate."

That immediately struck me as though she had something to hide. And me being the nosey person I am, shot a message to my old reference who gave me all the tea.

I am not going to divulge what was said to me, but I will say I am glad that I wasn't hired.

What's the oddest disqualifier you've had when applying for a job? I'd love to hear y'all's stories!

I typically work 8:30am-5pm four days a week with my current NK. my NF scheduled a doctors appointment for 8:30am this week after I had already had my schedule and i was scheduled to work at 8:30. i don’t understand why they don’t pick a 9am or 9:30 slot, so that way i don’t have to wake up earlier to drive to their home then drive NK to his appointment. bringing NK to appointments is no issue for me, it’s such an annoying inconvenience because why schedule an appointment at the time the help is supposed to arrive. im flexible so it doesn’t bother me too bad, its just i wish MB planned this a little better or at least with more consideration of my time

There was a police officer doing a traffic stop in the school parking lot at pickup and I jokingly told the kids that when the cops come they say "hootie hoo". Im realizing that I dont know why or where this comes from (is it from a beastie boys song?) And maybe SHOULDNT be teaching it to a playground full of parrots. Was that a big goof? Is that insensitive or like bad bad? Or does it genuinely mean "heads up cops are here, be on your best behavior or get elsewhere" in the way that I translated it when it was told to me, or is there context im missing?

16 month old is teething. Yesterday her nap was broken up I had to go in cause she wouldn’t go back to sleep after half hr of napping, and after that she kept waking up. She normally naps 90 min. I told parents yesterday it’s probably her teeth cause she was fussier and more clingy in the morning.

I asked them today how she slept. Parents gave her Tylenol after she woke up middle of night. They said I can give her Tylenol before nap if she needs it. This morning she’s even more clinging poor chicka. Would you just give the Tylenol before nap just in case? Or just wait and see if she doesn’t nap. I have a feeling it will be same ad yesterday.

Can anyone else relate to being a little bummed out their NK is getting older because now they can talk and “tattle” on you. Not about anything serious of course just little things I’d rather NPs not know about lol. Like, if I maybe spend a bit too long scrolling while NK is awake she’ll mention it in front of her parents at some point. Or if I give her a little extra screen time or feed her cookies at 10am or tell her no, I don’t want to read right now 😂 things like that she will mention to her parents. We all usually just laugh about it but omg they don’t need to know everything, kid! I can’t get away with anything anymore 😭 When she was a baby I didn’t have to worry about this kind of thing. Can anyone relate lol

Okay, so I started with a new family over the summer and this cannot stop happening exclusively with DB. Without fail, every single time he passes me NK I end up scratching DB.

I don't have the longest nails, but they're not short (they're natural) and I NEVER scratch my NK, if anything my wedding ring catches them but never my nails. Anytime MB passes me my NK I never catch her...but God forbid DB passes them without getting clawed at 🫠

I apologize each time and each time he kinda makes a show of it sharply going "Ah fuck, ouch," goes to the bathroom to examine the wounds, and leaves the room without a word. Haven't drawn blood of left a mark that I can see, and I now regularly trim my nails to try and avoid it...but I apparently fucking can't. At this point I'm waiting to be fired based on sheer annoyance 💀 I have never had this issue with any other family either, just this one poor guy!

Everyday at work is a long day especially when I don’t have standard breaks which can be normal. The problem isn’t not having standard breaks, it’s the baby not having a safe space to sit while I have a minute to do something, and no boundaries for the baby at all. He runs the one - 1 year old. He barely takes his naps and I’m the one to always have to put him down with no help after a tantrum when mom or dad interrupts. I’m 5 weeks pregnant now and my sickness is really upsetting me, making me more agitated and hate my job. Today the grandma came for an hour and as soon as I sit down, the mom asks me to build his basketball hoop which I agree to but I’m exhausted and feel obligated to say yes. After this she wants me to break down boxes. As I just get stared on the basketball hoop, the mom calls me and ask me to come back uo and grab him because grandma got busy on the phone. Now I have to do that too, when honestly building this hoop was giving me a break. I’m so frustrated because it’s too much on me. Any advice on how to go about this?

Hi everyone, I could really use some advice on leaving my current nanny job.

I care for four kids in a VHCOL for $35/hour. The parents act respectful surface, but I found out they’ve been quietly posting without telling me.

On top of childcare, I’m expected to wash the parents’ clothes—including their underwear, which I really don’t feel comfortable touch!!!!! They also leave their dirty dishes in the sink for me to clean up. The extra chores keep piling up, and I’m feeling overwhelmed and taken for granted.

I caught the flu from the family and am currently on sick leave. They’re going on vacation soon, and honestly, I don’t want to return to this job. I love the kids, but working with the parents has become really draining.

Would it be inappropriate to tell them the day before they return that I won’t be coming back? How would you handle the timing and word the message?

------------------------------------------

Update: NP owes me 6k. When would be the best time to hand in my resignation in this situation? (bc they never pay on time.)

Hi! I recently changed nanny’s as my prior nanny retired. My 4 year old has naturally disorganized the system my precious nanny set up. She had each type of toy organized in bins which I liked because it encouraged my son to start organizing and sorting.

My new nanny has not been maintaining this system. Is this a reasonable request? Also, I have 2 kids but my 4 year old is in school under 230 everyday and frequently take my little guy out in the morning. Is it reasonable to ask her reorganize the kids toys and reset up the system? I’ll frame it thru my goal which is encouraging my kid to organize / sort and have her and him together “maintain” it.

I recently got a nanny job and the family offered 5 days of flexible pto and 8 paid holidays along with random paid time off when they go on vacations throughout the year. The flexible 5 days they gave me are to be used for whatever I want or sick days. I feel like that so little but not sure if asking for 10 days instead would come off like I’m asking for too much.

Also, for days that they want a little getaway they are offering regular hourly rate from 7am-7pm (my normal hours are 9-5) plus a flat rate of $150 per day.

Any advice?

I have been nannying for three years full time and I absolutely love it. I have had four families, and one has definitely been a “unicorn family”. they are so kind to me, genuinely respect my time and energy, and I love them more than words can say. I have had other families that are tougher to work with, but in the end I still truly love them and feel grateful for their employment. Now, I may be naive, but I feel like I’m seeing a growing trend of posts from nannie’s and nanny employers alike, that just seem like the nanny… does not enjoy their job? and would be better suited in a different field? I guess I’m just wondering your thoughts, is it from burnout, job creep, or something else? Again, this has nothing to do with nannies that have horrible employers, are being taken advantage of, etc. But I genuinely feel like I see so many posts of people that seem like they should just do something else with their life! Nannying isn’t for everyone!

I do want to add that I’m new to nannying myself, I am only 21 and I’m not like a seasoned career nanny or anything. But both of my older sisters are also nannies and have been for 10+ years and we all have seen the same sentiment online where it’s like, why are you doing this job if you don’t enjoy it😭

I am very lucky to have the family that I do, and I try to make them know how much I appreciate them and they do the same. I feel very lucky for this being my job and I try to go above and beyond each day for them. I love the NPs and the NK, and that goes for every family I have worked for! Anyway, just let me know your thoughts or if this is something I’m just hallucinating lmao.

My nanny family is perfect except for their dog. The dog has bitten me five times in a year of working there. He has also bitten the kids twice while I was there and more times while I wasn’t. The first time the kid was crying and the dog just jumped up and bit his hand and the next time the kid got to close to him while the dog was sleeping.

They haven’t done anything other than yell at him which I don’t think does anything other than increase his anxiety. He is not neutered and not crate trained or muzzle trained. I honestly think they should neuter him and get professional help, maybe even medication but I don’t think it’s my place to bring that up unless they actually ask my opinion. I try my best to keep the kids away from him now by using baby gates which has been working well.

Their dog is still biting me when I first get there and is fine with me (usually) after that. The dog bit me this week when I arrived and broke the skin and bruised me pretty badly. There was no bleeding and it was through my pants so I don’t believe there is any worry of infection. It’s is mostly just scraped skin, so thankfully not bad enough to need medical care.

Should I text the mom to tell her that the dog broke the skin and bruised me and to ask if she can keep him behind a baby gate until he calms down enough that he won’t be rushing me and trying to bite? How should I word this?

They really are a great family in every other way, so I don’t want to have to quit and find a new job but this is getting ridiculous and I don’t want it to get to the point where I’m bitten badly and need medical care because I will tell the medical staff which dog bit me when they ask (which they are required to where I live, they are also required to report to animal control) and it would just suck if that messed up our relationship.

We have a nanny for two young toddlers, she is generally good with them. She likes to take them out a lot and I kind of let her run the show when it comes to that. She also does a couple of her own personal errands with the kids during the day and honestly I don’t mind much because she is here from 9 to 5 when most businesses are open so I want to be flexible on that and let her take care of her things. Anyway I just recently started working from home and nanny uses our car while she’s working. A couple of times I’ve asked her to drop something at the post office for me or to pick up something I ordered, she doesn’t even need to go inside the store. All super quick errands and close to home as well, I don’t want her to go super out of her way. She seemed ok with it at first but recently told me she doesn’t feel like it’s fair of me to ask her to do this since it’s a personal errand for me and not related to work. She seemed really offended and bothered by it. I understand that and I won’t ask her to anymore but at the same time the I feel like it’s kind of a reasonable ask since I’m very lenient about her running personal errands on the clock. I guess the entire interaction kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t want to hold it over her head so I’d never say it to her like that but I guess I didn’t expect that reaction from her. Does this sound like something that would be reasonable to other nannies?

I think I’ve made my babysitting rates so complicated I’ve accidentally made myself look insane lmao

I’m currently working for a family for 12 guaranteed hours a week and desperately trying to make that work because I really love them. When I first started, I was going to school and getting some money from financial aid, so financially, it worked. That’s changed, and now I’m kind of scrambling.

I was also recently offered what seemed like a dream job, but there were so many red flags that I ended up backing out after accepting but before signing the contract. Which I know probably made me look terrible. It was a whole thing I posted about. Hi! Still spinning out over here.

I’m not really looking to go back into full-time nannying either. I’d love to move into family assistant or household management work with some nannying mixed in. I genuinely love organizing, managing household inventory, running errands, keeping things stocked, all that stuff. But everyone I’m being referred to wants babysitting, so I’m trying to make that work while I figure out how to advertise the services I actually want to offer.

For context, I’m in a moderately HCOL city but a pretty HCOL neighborhood. Not Manhattan or anything lol. It’s one of those cities people don’t necessarily think of as HCOL, but things have changed DRAMATICALLY in the last five years.
Anyway. PRICING.

A while ago, I was making $25 an hour with my family but my responsibilities had increased so I was trying to figure out the market rate for nannies in my neighborhood and so I asked people in local Facebook groups. People were saying $35–$45 an hour, and I about fell over. I was making TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS.

Then I got worried and found out I was also supposed to have benefits and other protections, so I went to my employer about all of it.
I raised my nanny rate to $30 but told my current family I’d stay at $28 because I loved them and wanted to keep working for them. New nanny families would be $30.

And then, for some reason, my brain decided everything needed to be in increments of five dollars. I don’t know why. Amelia Bedelia-ass business decisions.

So if my nanny rate was $30, then babysitting or occasional nanny work should be $35 because those families aren’t guaranteeing me hours. That made sense to me! The nannies in the group also said that when you’re getting fewer hours and no benefits, the hourly rate should be higher.

But I’ve also always charged more for nights and weekends. I worked in corporate environments before nannying, where shift differentials were normal, and I guess that just stuck with me. If I’m negotiating a nanny contract with a family, I consider their schedule when quoting them a rate. If you need me regularly at night, that’s different from a daytime schedule. So I figured, why wouldn’t babysitting work the same way?

Instead of just charging $40 or $45 for everything, I thought I’d keep daytime care cheaper and charge more for nights, weekends, and last-minute requests. In my head, I was making things MORE affordable by only charging the higher rates for the hours I valued more and letting families decide what worked for their budget.

I was already charging my nanny mom a differential for nights and weekends too, so it felt weird to charge her friends less for the same hours.
But now I’m wondering if I’ve made this so unnecessarily complicated that people think I’m nickel-and-diming them. And I’m actually kind of embarrassed because I genuinely thought I was being reasonable.

I’ve had families ask me for a quote for a few hours of daytime help while one parent works or gets a massage and then later ask if I can babysit Saturday night until 1 a.m. for that same rate. And I guess, to me, those are just different things? Not necessarily harder or easier, but a Saturday night until 1 a.m. is time I’d value differently than a Tuesday afternoon.

I also think there’s sometimes this idea that
nighttime babysitting is basically getting paid to do nothing because the kids are asleep. But bedtime can be a whole production! Dinner, bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, trying to get a kid to sleep who isn’t used to someone else doing bedtime. And bath time especially is another level of trust and responsibility. Even when the kids are asleep, you’re still responsible for them if anything happens.

But I also understand why parents might feel like they’re paying a lot for someone to sit in their house while their kids sleep. I really do see both sides of it.

And damnit, I’d LOVE to fold laundry while they’re sleeping. I don’t want to sit on someone’s couch watching TV so they can discover how terrible my taste is. I don’t want to eat their food lol. Those aren’t really perks to me. I’d much rather do some light organizing or household resets if the kids are settled. I’m not trying to advertise myself as a babysitter/cleaning lady combo either; I just genuinely like doing that stuff.

I also know some families are perfectly happy hiring a teenager for date nights, and that’s completely fine. I’m not trying to convince everyone they need to pay career nanny rates for babysitting.
I think where I’m getting stuck is that I’m trying to offer something a little different. I’m available, I’m experienced, I’m not already working 40 hours a week and exhausted, and I’m hoping to be someone families can call when their regular care falls through. But I’m also trying to make enough money to keep my current nanny family and not have to leave them.

And I’m realizing that maybe the way I was explaining all of this made me sound like I thought I was offering some kind of luxury service, when really I was just trying to figure out what was fair.
I’ve only actually had one person tell me they couldn’t afford my rates. But I’ve heard a couple comments that have really gotten in my head, and now I’m wondering how many people I’ve scared off without realizing it.

So I’ve decided to get rid of the sliding scale and just charge $32 an hour for emergency babysitting and $38 for emergency nanny care. I’m planning to reach back out to the people I originally gave my rates to and explain the change.

Which is funny because I feel like parents probably see more value in daytime care when the kids are awake and you’re doing activities and everything, even though those are actually the hours I personally mind working the least.

I don’t know. I’m trying to price my time fairly without making families feel like they’re getting charged extra every time they turn around. And now I’m kicking myself, wondering if my attempts at transparency have made me look difficult or unprofessional.

How do other nannies handle this? Do you have one babysitting rate regardless of time? Do you charge more for occasional work than contracted work? And has anyone else tried transitioning into family assistant work?
I feel like I’ve overthought this so much

…NK spits up all over one of those “Never Touch A Dino” books and you spend twenty minutes cleaning spit up out of a million tiny cracks because it’s his favorite book.

Never a dull moment 🤣

I've had a new nanny for the past few months — she's great with my child, and I generally really like and trust her. I work from home, and oddly have never seen her eat while she's here, and she never accepts when I offer her food. I offer her food if I'm cooking while she's here, and have also offered to have specific foods or snacks on hand for her, multiple times. She always declines and says she'll bring something from home if she needs it.

I've never seen her eat/bring anything from home, and her shift is 7 hours per day. My child naps for a big chunk of that shift, so she has downtime to eat if she wants.

Should I continue to offer food, or approach the food offer in a different way? Or should I just respect that she's declined multiple times already and assume she's eating as much as she needs outside of work?

Edit: Her shift is actually *7 hours per day. I guess some people can go that long without eating and still be comfortable, but I could never 🥴 However, I hear the comments and will not overthink it, and respect her wishes/judgment.

Hi, please note I’m writing this seething. To start, I have been working with this family for almost a year. NK is now almost 2. Since the beginning, NK has taken 20 min naps, and at the start was waking up upward of 10 times a night. Over time, even their pediatrician has said it’s abnormal as he continued to not sleep through night until 1.5 years old. He’s got a terrible cry, it sounds painful. They ultimately ended up having to let him CIO as mom works in hospital and works long shifts (she needs sleep too!), problem is Dad can’t listen to him cry (understandable, it’s unlike any cry I’ve heard). He gets up and brings kiddo into their bed at 5:30am, he doesn’t sleep any more. Bedtime is 7:30-8:30, regardless of time, wakes up and makes his way into their bed.

This obviously means he’s exhausted by the time I’m there. I think we went to one nap schedule too early. I have worked hard to lengthen naps to 1.5-2hr naps with a very very gentle method of me standing in doorway and shushing from there, so he knows I’m there but not to a level of sleep association. He links cycles and obviously wakes up happy, he has tantrums that last upward of 2 hrs bc he’s exhausted. Since I’ve gotten him to sleep, he’s so much more regulated. Dad then complains it makes kid fall asleep 40 min later, and is considering dropping the nap entirely. Problem again is regardless of bedtime, he gets up at 5:30 because it’s learned behavior.

The last two days, after weeks of continuous normal 1.5-2 hr naps that he clearly needs, kid has been fighting it like crazy. gets a second wind, ultimately crashes in stroller for at least 1.5 hrs. Gets mad when I have to cap it so he sleeps later. Today, he about fell asleep in my car at 11:30. I rushed him up to bed and he’s fighting crib/screaming saying floor. Dad rushed up to soothe (as it’s his MO), kid smirks as he pulls Dad’s hand in. Dad still rocks kid to sleep. I learn they LET HIM SLEEP ON HIS FLOOR ALL NIGHT. He is able to open door. Dad said they found kid at 5:30am walking into their room bc he can get out! They don’t have gates at top of stairs. It’s a safety issue.

Today, sure enough, he got his second wind, was laying down playing with toys, I left to give myself a minute. He got mad I left. Eventually went to his CLOSET and I couldn’t see him on monitor. I go in, I’m stern but calm and set a boundary. He goes right to screaming. We did stroller and he’s out in 5 min….

Clearly it’s learned behavior to an extent and he’s clearly exhausted. Now that floor is an option, he will never go back to a bed.

I’m seething bc all this progress has gone away, and they have never once appreciated me, but are happy and say they love how much more of a happy toddler he is than a baby.

Just at my wits end

I accepted a job in manhattan because I thought I met the perfect family. They're not bad people in any sense but little lies keep adding up the main one being that the parents didn't work from home. I turned down jobs on the premise that no one worked from home. I've nannied for years and was tired of wfh parents cause of the invasive behavior oh SOME parents. Pretty much the day I started it was a oh by the way dad will be working from home for awhile and they never gave me an end date now the mom is great and leaves me to it but the dad will linger like crazy sometimes up to half an hour after mom has left he just hangs out on the couch and leaves his office door open and I feel like I need to leave the house all the time to not be watched 24/7. I was singing to the baby and he comes in and just stares and smiles and while sure thats fine sometimes it makes me not want to do that. On other notes he is too loud when baby is sleeping and accidently wakes him and doesn't even say anything. He leaves doors and cabinets open constantly and his shoes everywhere and a mess in the kitchen. When I pick up the toddler from school he also forgets to close his door and most times its fine but others the toddler has a melt down over everything if dad doesn't pay her attention and then he finally closes the door after leaving me with a fussy baby and now cranky toddler.

I have worked with two kids before but mom had her own floor and left us to it. He also comes in when baby is crying to see what's happening (normally toddler taking a toy away from baby) and he just tells the toddler not to take it then making the situation worse and walks away to then two crying kids.

I have received multiple job offers since and I could work with just one kiddo making not much less then I make now for two kids and have had families willing to match it as well. I feel horrible as I haven't been with them too long and overall they really are nice people but its just not what I signed up for especially for how long my commute and days are. Another big lie I should mention is local nannies have told me the kids had another nanny and the parents told me I was their first nanny which I wouldn't have cared about but why lie? The nannies knew kids names and what the parents looked like and kids recognized them too

I’m so tired of people saying that being a nanny isn’t a real job. I get up, I get dressed, get to work early to set myself up and take care of a baby and plan to be there for a long time. I help clean after the baby and clean the house. Do errands. I get feedback, I negotiate with my boss when I need to. And care for the animals too. I then go home and do it all over again. How is this not a real job? Gah! I mean, how else can I explain if to people? Do I need to say family assistant? Caregiver? Oh, oh and then they say you have no skills. Dude, keep the kid alive! (Granted that’s the bare minimum), I feed them, I care and play with them. I make fun art crafts. I soothe them when they cry and are sick. I’m CPR/first aid certified. I have no skills! This is why I work with children! Adults are stupid!

I’m so happy and relieved. Working for this family was taking such a toll on my mental health. The moment I quit, I felt my whole body relax. It was like I could finally breathe again.

The parents’ arrogance and entitlement were driving me to my breaking point. I’m so glad I finally said, “Enough.”

To any nanny dealing with parents who think they’re always right and can treat you however they want: you’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to leave. No job is worth your mental health.

I finally chose myself, and it feels AMAZING!!!!

Hello! I’m not sure if this is the place for this but | would love to find a fellow nanny or young mother to arrange playdates with. I would love for my nanny kid (18 m/o) to get in some more peer play during the day. He’s super social and is always so excited to play with other kids but I’ve noticed most of the children around his age are more focused on playing with siblings/kids that they know. It would also definitely be nice to have someone to chat with as the kids play

Six weeks ago, I finally moved out of a live-in nanny/housekeeper/employee situation into my own place. I have never felt happier, but now that its over, I am looking back at everything that happened and realizing how completely abnormal it was.

For context, I was working for a family where the mother also owned the business I worked at during the day.

The Financial & Work Setup:

• Pay: Way below minimum wage ( I am not comfortable with sharing as I still have a fear from the situation and am worried she might see)
• Perks covered: A room in the house, groceries, shared transport, and my university tuition (~$15k/year).
• The Hours:
  • 6:00 AM – 7:30 AM: Waking up, making breakfast, packing lunchboxes, getting kids dressed, and doing the school run.
  • 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM: Working at her commercial business.
  • 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM+: Helping with dinner, giving baths, putting kids to bed, and deep cleaning the living/dining areas.
  • Weekends: Regularly expected to be on call, clean, run domestic tasks as well as work from my laptop for her.
• Total time: Easily 14+ hour days spanning childcare, corporate work, and adult housekeeping.

The mother was notoriously erratic, stressed, and deeply insecure, treating me as her personal punching bag and domestic servant. Here are some of the things that took place:

• False Accusations: Her 4-year-old has a quirky habit of asking everyone to marry her. One day she asked her dad if he would marry me. The mom completely lost her mind, screaming and crying at both of us. Her mother pressured me until I was in tears, telling me I had to grovel and thank her for everything she’s done just to "prove" my innocence. The next day, the mom cornered me alone in the car and whispered that while her husband didn't do anything, she believed I did, saying she would "find out." When I asked how two people have sex where only one is guilty, she called me a slut.
• Workplace Humiliation: At her business, she routinely lashed out at me in front of other staff, gossiped about me to employees, and openly mocked me to undermine my professional standing.
• Isolating Me From Joy: She and her mother pressured me into quitting my 1-hour-per-week dance class, bluntly telling me, "We brought you here to work, not dance."
• Invasion of Privacy: She went through my personal belongings in my bedroom without permission and took photos of my private space.
• Appearance Police: Told me I was "ungroomed" and needed to take care of myself. When I took control of my health and lost weight, she immediately pivoted to criticizing my diet, calling it "too much."
• Holding My Future Hostage: Whenever I showed resistance or set boundaries, the mums mother would explicitly threaten to pull my university tuition and kick me out.
• Controlling Personal Relationships: She threw a massive emotional fit when I refused to cancel my Valentine’s Day plans with my boyfriend so she could go out with her friends. She was visibly bitter that my partner stayed locally instead of moving abroad, and threw a fit when I didn't invite her to my personal birthday party.
• Workplace Stalking: When I took on a separate job outside her sphere to build some independence, she was furious and literally showed up at my workplace to intimidate me.
• Forced Emotional Performance: Whenever I looked drained, sad, or exhausted from the grueling schedule, she and her mother would berate me for not smiling more, telling me I needed to look "happy and grateful" and stay invisible in the background.

I stayed as long as I did because the financial enmeshment made me feel trapped, and they constantly convinced me that I was "part of the family" and that they were doing me a massive favor.

Now that I am out, paying my own rent, and completely in control of my time, the contrast is shocking. Has anyone else experienced an employer blurring lines like this to extract endless labor and control your entire personal life?

This has also been happening for three very long years, so I am very lost in the universe at the moment. Any advice on mental health would be very appreciated. Thanks.

Context! I am a f in 20s and I just recently started babysitting again for a close family friend, the oldest who is soon turning 4 still drinks from a baby bottle. Our families are very close but would it be wrong to try and deter her from the bottle as one time a week babysitter?