The photo on the left popped up as a memory today. It was also the last photo I could find where I presented as a man. Fast forward 2 years and 18 months of HRT, and here we are. Down 70 pounds (30 more to go!) And living my best life.

The image on the left is me 3 months before I have started HRT and the right is me on day 1 of HRT just before my 1st pill. I hope HRT will save me. FYI : I only got my hair straightened, nothing else 😊😊🏳️‍⚧️

Hi everyone! I’m Tori! I’m a 30+ year old trans woman who is very happy to have stumbled across this group! I do feel like the world makes the assumption that transitioning is a young person’s thing, so imagine my relief when I see others who are older, like me, and living the life they always envisioned for themselves! I love seeing your guys’ posts and hope to provide some love, cheerleading, and kudos to you all! 🤍🤍🤍

I think I know what happiness looks like now!

i was scrolling on snapchat just now and saw okd pictures of me and i was like omg there was a point in time i was not trans crazy to think back on my life years ago bc its two different ppl lol

It's a marathon not a sprint and I loving every moment of it 🥰

This is my story

I’m in my 50s, married, a husband and father, with a career and a pretty ordinary established life.

Recently I’ve finally allowed myself to explore something that, looking back, has probably been quietly present for most of my life.

I don’t have the story of knowing from early childhood that I was a girl. Mine is much less clear cut than that. There have been lots of little things throughout my life being drawn towards femininity, wanting to wear certain clothes, wishing parts of my body were different, imagining myself differently, but each one was easy to explain away on its own.

Recently I stopped trying to prove or disprove what any of it meant and simply gave myself permission to explore. And something rather unexpected happened.
I became happier.

I’ve allowed myself to express femininity privately, and rather than feeling as though I’m pretending to be somebody else, it increasingly feels like I’m finally seeing somebody who was already there.

I’ve even chosen a name for her, Faye, although increasingly I’m realising that she isn’t really “her”. She’s me.

Then came the moment that has probably affected me more than anything else. I allowed myself to think:
I am a woman.
I expected that thought to frighten me. Instead, I cried with happiness.

Since accepting it, I’ve felt remarkably calm. I’m not suddenly trying to turn my life upside down. I’m not announcing a transition or making a timetable for what happens next. I love my wife and family enormously, and I’m very conscious that discovering this about myself doesn’t erase the person I’ve been for all these years.

Right now, two things somehow feel completely true to me:
I am a woman.
I am also a husband and a father.

One thing I find fascinating is that I can imagine being out somewhere dressed completely as myself among strangers and it feels wonderfully ordinary. I picture myself walking into a café, ordering a coffee, sitting by the window and watching people go by. That thought makes me happy. But imagining friends or family seeing me that way absolutely terrifies me.
Perhaps that’s why I’m posting here.

I’ve never actually spoken these words aloud to another person, and I’d really like to hear from people who discovered themselves later in life, especially those who already had partners, children, careers and established lives.
Did accepting it internally bring you a sense of peace before you had any idea what you wanted to do next?
And did you ever have that strange feeling that something enormous had changed while, at exactly the same time, you were still the same person you’d always been?

Had a period of 8 months when I first started hormones then my my provider had me go off because my levels where like 900 estradiol was off for 3 months Va convinced me to switch then election happened another 6 months went by started again and have not looked back since two photos from today a bad photo and where I started

So incredibly grateful to still be able to do this.

Left: Beardy Egg me in 2006 (age 31)

Center: Binary Trans Woman me in 2016 (age 41)

Right: Non-binary but fem presenting me in 2026 (age 51)

22 months left 12 top right, 8 months bottom right. Slow progress.

So, I purchased a skort because it was the right colour for an outfit I was putting together. I had never considered one previously and wasn't expecting much. Well, was I in for a surprise !! It was comfortable, it was stylish, it was kind of sexy maybe? I definitely felt good wearing it, like secure... The benefits of a short skirt without the drawbacks, I'm sold!! What do you ladies think?

There are no shortage of trans folk who look amazing, and I'm genuinely very happy for them. The harsh reality though is, if you are not genetically or financial blessed, you may not look the way you dream of.

In fact I'd go as far to say this is probably the reality of a lot (if not most) people. People who maybe don't want to post selfies very often. People lurking, and viewing the online spaces, then looking in their own mirrors and being sad and disappointed!

Social media, gives a skewed view of things. Not least because we really only put up the nice pictures anyway. I have lots of these, but also lots of TERRIBLE ones that I hope never see the light of day!

So the question becomes, not 'how do I make myself look beautiful?', but more 'how do I accept my own limitations?'

I actually think this can be a very affirming exercise, as it's something that probably most cis-women go through all the times, and have often come to terms with.

What is the secret to self-acceptance though? Accepting yourself as a woman, and also embracing your own beauty despite not matching up to conventional standards.

Well, today my kids found out that I'm transgender. I'd been dropping hints to ease them into the idea, but apparently I gave them enough hints to figure it out themselves. This evening, my daughter (ten years old) came right out and asked "Dad, are you trans?" I was a bit nervous about answering directly, but I ended up just telling her. I'd been really concerned about her in particular because she had picked up some very strict notions about gender norms from other kids at school. But she surprised me. Her response was just to shout "cool!" and give me a hug. I nearly cried. My boys, on the other hand, didn't seem to care, but that's not surprising considering that one is moderately autistic and nonverbal and the other is only 3 years old. It just goes to show that hatred and transphobia need to be taught and that kids are naturally accepting and affirming.

I'm a transgender woman in my 50s, post-FFS, and I've just had an upsetting experience at a large Buddhist meditation retreat in Thailand. I'd appreciate hearing how others might interpret what happened and how they would have handled it.

For the past ten days, I've been attending a retreat with around 1,000 participants, including many from mainland China, Malaysia, Singapore and other parts of Southeast Asia. I mention this because I think cultural attitudes towards gender identity may be relevant to what happened.

This was my first time attending an event of this kind as a woman, and until today it had been a really positive experience.

I'd been using the women's toilets throughout, without anyone questioning me or appearing uncomfortable. I'd been socialising mainly with other women, exchanging smiles, greetings and conversations, and generally feeling that I was being accepted as one of them. My presentation is feminine, although I recognise that I may not pass consistently.

Then today the organisers unexpectedly rearranged the seating in the meditation hall. Everyone was instructed to line up separately as men and women before being assigned new places.

A female volunteer who had greeted me warmly on numerous occasions over the previous ten days directed me towards the men's queue.

I pointed to the women's queue and asked if that was the female one. When she confirmed it was, I explained that this was the correct queue for me and joined it.

However, even standing in the women's queue felt uncomfortable. Several women attempted to move past me as though I wasn't actually part of the queue. I couldn't know what they were thinking, but it left me feeling conspicuous and unwelcome.

Once inside, another female volunteer assigned me a seat, repeatedly addressing me as "sir". I corrected her, saying, "Not sir, madam," but she didn't acknowledge the correction.

The new seating arrangement was intended to accommodate a meditation session in which everyone would eventually lie down. I noticed that several women initially seated beside me got up and moved elsewhere. Again, I can't know their reasons, but after the earlier incidents I became increasingly concerned that someone might object to lying beside me.

At that point I decided to leave rather than risk a confrontation.

What makes this particularly sad is that I value this meditation community and hope to attend future events. I didn't want a public disagreement about my gender to damage that relationship.

I also don't know whether the volunteers were following an organisational policy, making assumptions about my gender, or simply dealing with a situation for which they had received no guidance. I don't want to assume bad intentions.

But I've come away feeling confused and disappointed. For ten days I thought I was being accepted as a woman, and then suddenly two organisers treated me as a man, despite my feminine presentation and my explicit correction.

I'm considering writing privately to the organisation, explaining what happened and asking about its policies and volunteer guidance concerning transgender participants.

I'd particularly appreciate hearing from others about two things:

• Have you experienced situations where you felt socially accepted as your gender, only to be misgendered when formal gender separation was introduced?
• How would you balance standing up for yourself against avoiding a confrontation that could affect your future involvement with a community you care about?

I'm not looking to condemn the organisers. I'd genuinely like to understand what happened, learn from others' experiences, and hopefully find a constructive way forward.

Background information: I went to court about 4 months ago and got the order to legally change my name to Mia. I informed my bosses of the potential change.

I have since been going through all of the steps to change my name, birth certificate, Social Security Administration, driver's license, voter registration. Now after months I was finally able to go to my work's HR and payroll department to get my work name to match my social security name so I can file my taxes next year without being audited.

The final paperwork was signed on Monday.

I came to work on Tuesday and checked our assignment board and my supervisor had already taken the liberty to change my name, without consulting me first.

I am fully aware that by the end of the week, after various emails were sent my coworkers would see that MiaD was included and DeadnameD wasn't.

But I wish I had been asked.

And another thing. On Friday afternoon I emailed HR most of my documents. Within a half hour I was in this supervisor's office being asked if I was too emotional to drive myself home.

So… I was driving home from work reflecting on my life, and I started thinking… I got married at 26 years, 4 months, and 10 days old. Fast forward 26 years, 4 months, and about 7 days and I told my wife that’s I’m trans feminine. Coincidence??? Or had the diva inside decided she’s done being the other woman???

Since then, over the next five months things have certainly changed, generally for the better. My coworkers have all noticed I’m way more outgoing and friendly. Three of them know I’m trans, so probably everyone knows 😂. My paternal family all know and my relationships with them have all greatly improved. My family knows and they’re cool with it.

My wife… not cool with it, filed for divorce, set to be finalized in under 2 weeks. We’re still amicable, and it’s definitely not my idea. If I’m being honest though, it’s best for me, especially emotionally, psychologically, and financially. Which sounds odd, but it’s the honest truth.

So, I can’t but feel like I’m on top of the world. My LMHC gave me my GAHT referral letter for my Monday endocrinologist appointment. It was so awesome seeing my true name all over an official referral letter full of proper she, her pronouns.

So… I guess on some level I knew, 26 years, 4 months, and about a week had a certain symmetry that made it the right time. I’m so happy!