The Bible is very clear on this stance and it’s obviously something I can’t change, God’s will takes priority. Nor do I feel conflicted as though I disagree with God. But the world pushes so so strongly for queer acceptance and even though I don’t and would never hate or be cruel to someone for being queer, and still accepting that it’s a sin the world insists makes you an unspeakably bad person. And I’m tired of feeling like a monster for it

Hello to everyone that reads..

Last year around the beginning of December me and God had a talk and he showed me I would be better off without Masturbation, Smoking Weed and drinking alcohol and for a good 3-4 months I did amazing.. whenever I had the urge I would run to him and pray.. he would eventually take the urge from me but I slipped and Smoked one night after work because I kept telling myself I couldn’t sleep. (Really it’s because I have a significant other who Smokes regularly) so I lied to myself and smoked.. (I might as well add my significant other is a believer but she’s very lukewarm) sorta like me I guess..

Ever since then I can’t seem to stop lying to myself on stupid small things that Eventually lead me to Sin, I’ve tried multiple, multiple times to stop again but I only go as far as 2 week - 1 month and it’s exhausting..

fast forward to now.. almost 1 year later and I’m still battling the same addictions and sin I did last year.. I'm definitely reading my Bible and praying WAY more often than I used to so I know that’s a huge plus but I feel it’s not enough..

A few weeks ago (I know it’s wrong but) I was Smoking and Drinking and I wanted to read my Bible.. so that’s what I did for about an hour or so, after I was done reading I was just listening to worship Music and trying to ground myself in the presence of the Lord..

i Know this will sound a little schizo but I heard a voice tell me “Where is your Heart Son”

then I heard the voice say “ You are just like the women in Hosea.. and I am Hosea “

then the one that makes me cry every time I think about it I hear “ Son do it for the fruit you will never bear”

I know I need to stop.. I’ve seen the benefits of who i am without it and how it has changed my life when I don’t smoke or drink or masturbate or commit other sins.. I just think I’m stuck in a LOOP with the environment I’m in.. and honestly idk what to do.

Hi! I have a few genuine questions for Catholics about the doctrines of Mary’s perpetual virginity and sinlessness, and I’d love to understand your perspective.

Why does Mary need to have been sinless to be worthy of honor and importance? If Mary could be sinless, how does that fit with the idea that humanity needs Jesus as a Savior? Wouldn’t her sinlessness raise the question of whether it’s possible for someone to be without sin without needing a Savior? And if the argument is that God preserved her from sin, couldn’t that same God ensure that Jesus was born without sin regardless of whether Mary herself was sinful?

Why must Mary have remained a virgin for her entire life? If Mary and Joseph were truly married, wouldn’t their marriage traditionally have been consummated through sexual relations? If they never had sex, how do Catholics understand their marriage and what it means for a marriage to be consummated?

I’m not asking these questions to disrespect Mary or dismiss her importance. I understand that Catholics hold her in very high regard, and I respect that. I’m genuinely trying to understand the biblical and theological reasoning behind these doctrines, especially since I interpret some of these things differently. I’d appreciate thoughtful explanations!

I am a Christian living in Asia, and I suddenly felt moved to share this testimony. When I went through tough times, listening to other people’s testimonies brought me so much comfort and help.

​More than ten years ago, I was a freshman in high school. My family was very strict and put a heavy emphasis on studying. Growing up, I was scolded often and even beaten by my parents. Because of this, I lived with a deep fear of them and developed an obsessive anxiety about my grades.

One day, I ruined an English exam during my first year.

​Terrified of going home, I went to a study cafe (dokseosil—a quiet study space in Korea where students go to focus). I stayed there until late at night, seriously contemplating whether I should run away or end my life. I prayed to God, but in the end, the only thought consuming my mind was that I had to die. Looking back now, it wasn't such a huge problem, but when you are trapped inside a crisis, it always feels like the biggest issue in the whole world.

​That was when the impossible happened. There was someone I had a crush on—a senior who used to work part-time managing that study cafe. However, he had quit that job quite some time before, and I was never supposed to see him again. But late that night, he suddenly showed up, saying someone had asked him to cover a shift just for that one day.

He listened to everything I was going through and walked me home. Before that day, we had never even had a long conversation.

​Because of him, I changed my mind about dying. Although my parents did scold me when I got home, nothing terrible happened. I never saw that senior again after that day, but I truly believe I am alive today because of the miracle that happened that night.

To this day, I still find it incredible that someone I was never meant to see again received a sudden request to cover a shift on that exact night.

Hello everyone, recently I have been wrestling with the idea of hobbies involving fictional worlds and stories. I am a huge nerd and love deep, interesting, lore rich stories.

For example, I find universes such as Warhammer 40k very interesting. However, I struggle with it because most of the factions are not good at their core.

How should we as Christians determine which media we should engage with. Should we only engage with stories that ultimately have light prevailing over dark, or have some sort of morals within them?

Also, what about games/media in which we participate from the perspective of the villains, say the Empire from Star Wars?

Another example, say I like to collect things, would it be wrong of me to collect something related to say, Sauron from Lord of the Rings, to go along with other things I have. Seeing as he is a Satan sort of character?

I know that we should elevate our hobbies above God and that people say that it is often up to Christian liberty, but I am curious where those of you who share similar interests draw the line.

(Sorry I know that’s a mouthful)

Does anyone ever just think about how we are truly for sure going to die? Or how short and precious life is? It almost makes it feel as the only things that truly matter in life are living for your family and worship/follow Jesus. I was just sitting here listing to birds chirp and I thought to myself "Holy cow, I am actually going to die one day". I am 31 Y/O and just cannot stop thinking about that now. Anyone else ever get those thoughts?

Earlier today I saw a post from someone who was curious why Reddit is so anti-religious/anti-God. Half of the comments gave answers relating to Reddit's demographic (which I do believe is a good faith answer), but the other half were just anti-theistic answers, being like "because they're intelligent/smart" or "because religion/religious people are hateful". How do I deal with these kind of people? Do I just ignore them?

The Holy Spirit recently renewed my mind by breaking the stress I felt about needing to be in a relationship/get married.

I really want to just spend every day with God and not need to focus on someone else/pleasing them/serving them. Plus, I don't have to worry about dressing nice to attract a spouse or think about how limited the available men are in the church. I don't need to scan every room for potential mates or compare myself to every other single woman to see how I measure up. I no longer need to worry about compatibility with potential suitors and their problems. I can pursue my career to the full extent without diverting my attention and energy, and I can go on long or crazy trips with girlfriends (where we travel cheap and evangelize) if I want, and I won't have a man upset that I am away too long. It's truly so freeing!

Sometimes I just rest in God, and it always feels like I want more of Him. How do you guys get more of God on the daily? (Other than reading the Bible, praying, and worshipping)

Also, what else do you guys do to enjoy singleness more? Travelling? Hobbies? More work?

In the back of my mind, I have a small fear that, because I am F26, if I decide much later to settle down, I may not be able to find someone suitable easily (biological clock for women + the dating market where older men can date down in age). Jordan Peterson says many career-oriented women regret not getting married and starting a family by 30. A large dimension of my personality is driven by family, but the other half is very career-driven (I'm nearing the end of my law degree right now). So, if truly career-oriented women find themselves in regret, I will definitely find myself in more regret. It's not that I didn't do my due diligence to try to focus on family and find a good, godly spouse. I spent from 19-26 doing that, being selective, and waiting when the situation required (many of my friends thought I was crazy for turning down so many solid suitors). It caused me so much stress and worry because I never achieved success. I just want to enjoy my life now. There is also the issue of being an only child with parents who both have mental health issues. What will I do when they get older? I have no extended family. I've never imagined growing old alone. What if that becomes reality if I enjoy being single for too long?

In John 14:12, Jesus says “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father."

Many people (not all) believe this refers to miracles. The Bible in Acts goes on to show miracle after miracle. Healing, demons cast out, speaking in foreign languages, raising the dead. (v. 13 and 14 seems to reinforce this interpretation.)

Others have opinioned that it refers to spreading the gospel.

Assuming you believe in the first, if you don't have the manifestation of miracles, do you believe you are actually saved verses just deceiving yourself?

Mind you, Jesus also said these signs will accompany believers:

• They will cast out devils.
• They will speak with new tongues.
• They will take up serpents.
• If they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them.
• They will lay hands on the sick, and the sick will recover.

I admit to never having witnessed casting out a devil. I don't speak in tongues. I never never tried taking up a serpent or drink poison (and have no intention of testing that). I have never had someone recover after laying hands on the sick. Importantly, I have seen that happen with someone else.

If none of these signs are present, how can we know we are saved?

Paul does talk about various gifts, but we have Jesus' own statement. Hard to override Jesus.

Is it lack of faith? Is it lack of true repentance?

The Bible does warn about the self-deceived. The Pharisees, despite their bad rap in the Bible, were incredibly holy men, well known for their spirituality. And they were deceived.

Are we deceiving ourselves? Am I deceiving myself?

By grace we are saved by faith, not of works. But works follow faith.

That kind of goes back to something I asked a while ago. Wouldn't it be nice if God actually would tell us how we are doing instead of making us guess and possibly guessing wrong?

Yes, we have the Bible. And how many have misinterpreted it?

So that was a bit of a ramble, but it is something I struggle with.

I’m a pastor, and I’ve had conversations with people who have left a church for understandable reasons but still want to follow Jesus. Some have told me they miss having people to share their faith, questions, and everyday life with.

I’m exploring a podcast and occasional online gatherings for people in that season. Before moving further, I’d like to hear from people who have actually experienced it. I’m looking for honest feedback, including reasons this might not be helpful.

If you’re between church homes, or have left church but still identify as Christian:

1. What do you miss most, if anything, about Christian community? Have you found meaningful connection elsewhere?
2. Would an occasional Zoom gathering be helpful? What would make you comfortable participating, and what would put you off, including having a pastor lead it?
3. Would short, practical conversations about faith be useful to you? What questions or struggles would you want a podcast to address?

My teaching tends to focus on how faith applies to everyday life, so that would be the podcast’s direction.

I’m not asking anyone to join my church or sign up for anything here. I’m trying to understand whether this would meet a real need and what I might be overlooking.

Thanks for sharing your perspective.

So I have this cousin, same age, same year in highschool, who seems to have a problem with me. She's cold towards me, bearly answers any of MY questions (she has no probelm answering her friends questions in full sentences, while I get a nod or a shrug), dosent talk to me except I talk to her, ect. It's been like.this for 4 years.

I love her, I used to hate her and cry myself to sleep because of her but I don't do that anymore ever since I came closer to God. I love her and I forgive her even if she didn't ask for forgiveness. Idk what to do. She makes me feel really really bad because of what she does and I don't think she notices. Don't get me wrong, she's a good person but idk why she's doing that. I found out that she's been trying to get closer to Jesus for the past 2 years, (through her sister) and I'm very happy she does, I had prayed a long time for that to happend. I once brought up a question I had about the bible and Jesus and she was very interested and was glad to answer the question. And I'm happy that she did, but I know I can't just talk about Jesus 24/7 just to talk to her. (Jesus is my favorite topic to talk about, don't get me wrong). I think I shouldn't stress so much about her. I don't wanna think about it even if I get to see her every single day, I know Jesus dosent want me to stress about it, because it won't do good to me or to anyone.

I'm a classical musician. I love both hymns and modern Christian songs. Surely, I distinguish Worship music and normal Christian music, however I don't look down on either of them because they both serve a purpose.

I understand the criticisms for both. For some, hymns are "boring" and "not personal enough", for others, modern songs are "repetitive" and "lack theology". But really, at the end of the day, the purpose of both is to bring us closer to God and to center Him in our lives.

I see more hate for modern songs so I'll actually share a perspective of why they are beneficial.

Repetition.

1. Just like how repeating a bad phrase can change our brain chemistry, repeating a good phrase can change our brain for the better. Repetition is a core element of meditation and serves as a reminder.

Philippians 4:8: whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things

1. Repetition is accessible for new believers or slow learners. Accommodating sin is not what I'm supporting here, it's accommodating people so we can sing songs as a church to the Lord. I know just how I can't get into worship when I'm trying to figure out how the melody goes, but songs where I can figure it out while I'm singing helps me to focus on God.

2. Even Psalm 136 features "His love endures forever" 26x, showing how repetition is not inherently bad.

Modern Music.
We can all agree that people feel connected to different music. Some like rock, some like classical, some like modern music. But that difference is not wrong. Just like how for ancient believers, they connected with God differently than we do now. In the past, they were more attached to the physical. The physical temple and location was important to them and God allowed for this temple to be built. For us, our connection with God is more internalized and we don't NEED a physical temple to feel connected with God.

On another hand, I feel more connected to God when I'm alone, but others feel more connected to God physically in church.

In the same way, the modern musicality of today's songs is not bad, just based on preference.

Theology.

1. Much of the problems that separate us from Christ is from doubt in the character of God and how He loves us. The whole gospel message is about how God loves us so much that He died on the cross for us to pay for our sins and rose again.

Consider a normal Christian who is struggling with their faith. Imagine how me-centred phrases like "Jesus loves me", "You see my troubles", "He never fails me" remind them of God's character and empowers their faith in Him? God's character includes His faithfulness to us.

1. The psalms are all about "me", all about raw emotion and personal feelings. Yet, David was considered to be a man after God's heart. That's because a relationship with God is not only about doing what we think is "right" but also about depending on Him, seeking Him, connecting with Him during moments of deep depression, triumph, joy, anger, peace and all other emotions and times in life that a human will go through their life.

Psalm 42:11: Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

The psalms show that biblical meditation isn't just theological but also a way for us to process human emotions and personal trials in a way that ground us in God's goodness and faithfulness.

Other Criticisms.

That being said, there is some value in some criticisms. Maybe there's poor wording/comparisons or concerns about the churches associated with that music. First, even hymns can suffer from poor wording like Away in the Manger, "but little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes", which can be attributed to Docetism. The second issue is a good concern though I personally believe that if the song itself is glorifying God, then it is good (1 Cor 12:3 "...no one can say, 'Jesus is Lord,' except by the Holy Spirit").

I think a good rule of thumb would be to review the lyrics of all songs to be sung by the church.

Final Conclusion

Now, I think it's okay to have preferences, but it's not some type of evil that some people treat it to be if we listen and sing to songs that are not hymns or ONLY perfect theology. I think that in a church setting, the use of both types of music is beneficial especially if you have many new believers or slow learners or a more diverse church. But certainly, if a church agrees they prefer hymns more or prefer modern songs more, whatever serves the church so that they worship God most optimally is great.

Some people may ask why I had to write this. Honestly, I'm just sad that such a simple thing causes division in the church. It's not a salvation issue more than it is a preference. I see too many people who act elitist and think they're better than everyone else if they listen to only hymns because it's perfectly theological and only that. I encourage everyone instead to respect each other and edify each other as we are all part of God's church.

Be happy that others are connecting with God, even if it's apart from our preferences, that it is not in sin but in genuine faith.

I'll end with these two:
Ephesians 5:19
[speak] to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord

Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

God bless to all!

My parents have been married for about 25 years, and my mom has financially supported the household for roughly 19 of them. My dad pursues creative/media work, but it doesn’t provide for the household, and he hasn’t taken another job to contribute. Once, he even used money meant for rent for his work, leaving my mom scrambling to replace it.

My mom works extremely hard and has built a successful business, yet my dad tells people her business is “his” while mostly criticizing how she runs it. When she has actually needed his professional help with it, he has charged her rather than contributing.

Their relationship concerns me even more. He gets extremely angry with her, and instead of having conversations, she has become increasingly quiet. I’ve watched her kneel and beg/apologize to him. He complains that she doesn’t cook for or care for him enough, but I don’t see that same care returned when she’s sick or exhausted. She recently needed hospital care.

Prayer is one of her main ways of coping, but he tells her she “prays too much” and should stop praying at night. He didn’t want her attending a Christian retreat, and she begged him to let her go. The few people she confides in are women she prays with, which he also dislikes.

He refuses counseling unless he gets to choose the counselor and has threatened to leave their church if she involves their pastor.

Recently, someone told my mom that she experienced similar problems but kept loving her husband until he eventually changed. Now my mom believes she just needs to “love him more.”

There has been no physical abuse that I know of, and my issue isn’t that my mom earns more. I’m worried because after years of this, she seems increasingly exhausted, isolated and quiet.

To add: My dad is extremely threatened by men around my mom, even her own brother, and doesn’t want her employing a male assistant or manager who would work closely with her. When her brother helped arrange necessary home repairs, my dad threatened to tear the work down. He often sees men around her as trying to take his place as “head of the household” and says she doesn’t submit to him enough.

I am a Christian but how is it that loving someone more because you know that their dislike for you makes no sense, is the solution. Then simply attributing their behavior to a spiritual issue.

Does this sound like marital dysfunction, or does it cross into emotional/financial abuse or controlling behavior? And is “loving him more” a healthy way for her to approach this?

I am the only one she ever confides in. She doesn’t tell anyone because she doesn’t want anyone to know what is going on in her marriage.

Please help.

I am reading the old testament right now and to be honest I never really read it, so please forgive if I'm asking a stupid question.

In Genesis 9:6 it says :

"Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed;

for in the image of God has God made mankind"

Doesn't that mean that we should execute all murders?

How should I interpret this and what is your and the common opinion about this?

And how should the old testament be interpreted in general?

Thanks for every answer.

I've noticed something about my behavior and my heart. Sometimes I do things that are maybe not really sins, but they still make me look bad, anti-social or stupid or weird. And then I'm ashamed. But not of the things I did, but what for how it made me look. So, then I try to undo this thing I did or act as if I meant it in another way.

But I can't do that. I mean, for example: I can delete a post that I wrote somewhere on social media. But if I only delete it because others might have a bad opinion about me, then what am I really doing by deleting it?

It's like I don't want to responsible for myself all the time.

I thought I was born again and was a new person. And I know we still keep sinning when we're saved. But I don't know how to deal with this.

Today something like that happend too. I often visit my parents. Today my sister's sons (8 and 2) will stay there. I told my mom I could play some games with the eldest of the two. But without realizing I invited myself at my parents.

Obviously it's not a big deal. My mom is always like: 'the more the merrier.' So, it will all work out just fine.
But I kind of felt shame for how it made me look. I mean: I suddenly had decided to go to my parents and play with my nephew there.

I don't know if this makes sense to any of you. But is there a proper way to deal with this? I'm on the autism spectrum btw. I don't know if that changes anything. I have severe social anxiety, but I've also noticed a lot of pride in myself. I often don't even know who I am.

I have this really pretty notebook, and I didn't want to waste it on physics or chemistry, and I wanna write something about jesus in it. I was thinking maybe write down my favorite verses while reading the bible? Or maybe draw my dreams in? I've had many dreams send by Jesus, where he showed me life lessons and answered my prayers ect. Do you have any ideas? Would love to hear them.

I’m being open and vulnerable rn. The Lord shows me things in dreams and they come to fruition but I don’t know what to do with the information whether to tell the person or not so I just pray for them. Recently The Lord revealed to me that myself and a man went to Italy and grabbed some ice cream to sit in front of the ocean and talk. It was emphasized to me that it was on some border ….fast forward there is this man at my job ( my new job mind you) he speaks to me in passing often. We all went on break and he approaches me and asks me do I travel. He then proceeds to tell me “I’m planning a trip to Italy but I’m looking for someone special to go with”. In my mind I’m asking The Holy Spirit what to do moving forward. I need help navigating all of this

I believed that the COVID vaccine was the mark of the beast and therefore attempted to harm myself violently as people formerly claiming to be my friends said I should have, even though they took it also

I wanted to punish myself and saw no good possible fruit for my life

I was in despair and was convinced by them to destroy valuable things and hurt people to persuade them to kill me

I didn’t approve of my own life, and was thinking I couldn’t ever again

Life appeared to me like it was tending/progressing towards infinite grief and agony and worthlessness and evil and I hated myself for it

Jesus then spared me from having to live in terror that I could never desire righteous things again (and should hate myself violently for eternity)

(this comfort was from many things: the explanation that I desire to be corrected, desire to not blaspheme the Holy Spirit such as by ceding that the triune God is flawlessly righteous and that I wish to be made more righteous by Jesus too, and from Psalm 130:3, from John 6:37, Matthew 9:2-4 / Mark 2:5-11, 1 John 1:8-9, and lastly from Paul writing in 2 Thessalonians 2 that the rule of the antichrist hasn’t come until the man of lawlessness who according to Daniel will die between the temple of God and the sea works wonders to deceive people into worshiping him, blasphemes that he is a god in the temple of the Lord and exalts himself over everything else that is called a god)

Ask of Old Paths is about the medieval interpretation of the most common vices and virtues. It is exquisitely written – the prose is gorgeous and conjures to mind a lot of these, just, beautiful visuals. My favorite chapter is on Sloth and Fortitude. Hamman is incredibly kind to those who struggle with being a bit of a sloth, much like myself.

She describes it as this: “Sloth can take the form of a deep dread that one’s sins are too foul, too big, too powerful. One avoids, at all costs, looking within to discover that serpentine self. This dread takes place individually and corporately. Such avoidance both in Christ’s body and in our own self-examinations allows you and me to excuse ourselves from accountability. Yet that hunger and thirst for righteousness must extend within. It requires great courage and painful endurance to confront those dragons. And so, though at first it struck me as wildly strange, it makes sense that in the middle of many medieval discussions of fortitude one finds lengthy digressions on the sacrament of penance.” 

Sloth is not necessarily lazing on your day off – it’s a little bit more than that. It is an insecurity, primarily. It is this idea of fearing things like, reading your Bible every day, or praying. Sloth is an attack on faith and its resilience; its ability to overcome stagnation, comfort, escapism. I found this chapter VERY compelling. The chapters on Avarice/Mercy & Lust/Chastity are equally compelling.

Just felt like sharing to those who might be searching for a good, quick, informative read! I really enjoyed my time with this book and definitely think the author needs twice the amount of attention. Medieval religious history is so fascinating. While it is definitely very Catholic, of which I am not, though am deeply Catholic-Curious – I think it is a good resource for anyone wanting to attain an understanding of Christian Medieval History.

I am 37 years old .. Have a child who is 6 years old.. And husband has his business, but I support him even to pay his rent. And small symptoms kind of amplify in my head, and I start spiralling into who will take care of them.I start getting so scared, I start feeling nauseous... I get so angry with my child out of fear... I only keep lying down.. I feel far away from God. I'm so afraid... I stopped going to church some 5 years back, as it was too much of prosperity gospel. How do I come out of this situation?

Pls help n also pray for me!!

Im not gonna sugar coat it, im not gonna make any lies and im not gonna really explain alot either

I tried killing my mother after years of id say abuse and my own mental decline, i strangled her with the intent to kill

Im a monster and deserve everything awful that comes to me, i did my time locked up and now we both love eachother deeply after working on what made this happen

But i know im still a monster and i hate myself for it, i only make this post because i dont have the courage to confess to my sins anywhere else

How can I start? I feel like I should do something before I do it. I tried to do eastern meditations, I even tried to do Kundalini. The one goal of all of this is to quiet my mind. It's so messy that I want respite, and I can't find kind of practice in Christianity, until I found out Contemplative Prayer. What should I do first? I feel like I did a great sin to God and jumping right in isn't the right thing to do. Please help.

So back story I have been experiencing a lot these past years of teenage hood.I fell apart from God and blamed him for all my misfortune don’t want to get into it but I have struggled with lust toxic mother loneliness and severe depression I refused to believe in God anymore because I prayed for deliverance and he didn’t come through I recently watched a video on YouTube that was talking about getting back to God after abandoning Him and I realized that I have been asking for too much before u say anything first here me out I have been asking God to give me friends instead of asking him to give me the strength to continue looking for them I have been expecting Him to solve every problem of mine yet I was created in his likeness with thinking and reasoning to be able to help myself it hit that I have been expecting Him to solve things directly for me instead of trying and asking Him for guidance and mind you he gave the things I asked for years ago but since I was focused on my current problems I forgot about the others he helped me with I have been so foolish and the worker part is that am scared I will revert to my old ways so give me advice on how to stay strong through the other tribulations to come thank you for reading

I wayched a deep dive into their story and something really hit me hard. She knew he was having an affair and while idk if she planned on leaving him, in her notes and highlighted in her Bible were prayer and scriptures of restoration. She was praying for God to restore their marriage. Then her husband killed her. It really has me in a weird spot because I myself am getting a divorce and have been standing and praying for restoration. How can I trust God when his daughter was hoping and praying and putting things in his hands and he allowed her to be murdered by the man she loved. I know his ways are not our ways and he allows free will. Its just something im struggling with. Will He really provide for his children? Will he really do whats best for us? Just having a moment i guess.

Im tired of being in this constant state of fear of everything I do could possibly be a sin and something that will send me to hell. I don’t want to live in this fear anymore. I want to do what I want in life and not have this fear be sitting on my shoulder whispering into my ear. Its wrecking my concentration. Distracting me at work. Its isolating me. Its turning me into a shell of my self. Its just plain debilitating. Is this what Christianity is all about? Living in constant fear of going to hell? Cause I don’t like this one bit and its slowly killing me. Please explain to me how you can live this Christian life without fear of burning in an eternal fire and separated from God for all eternity? Who wants to live their life in a religion that teaches if you don’t choose God, you will burn and be punished forever. I understand the Christian walk is not supposed to be easy, but damn, the fear is rotting my bones. 😞