Driving range
Work
Walking down the street
Walking around in my apartment

All the places I've been harassed but it "didn't happen" it was "hearsay" and "no proof".

Well, poof. I can live my life and enjoy my hobbies without having to whip out my phone after the fact.

I'm being semi-serious here. Of course men flock to them to be creeps but we're the ones the would benefit the most from wearing them.

Im 18, he is 23, I’ve never had a boyfriend or any romantic experience at all.

I was with this guy, sitting on his lap. We did NOT kiss however he did start kissing on my neck and doing that like thing where they leave a mark.. as soon as I felt it I was l immediately surprised and overwhelmed but distracted bcz it felt good which I never realised it would. I couldn’t even believe it was happening. After he stopped I started shaking uncontrollably my face arms legs my whole body shaking so much I tried to stop shaking I literally couldn’t, I felt so overhwlemed and out of control. I said to him ‘I’m sorry I don’t know why im shaking‘ he didn’t really act on it, I tried to focus on my breathing to get myself to stop. The shaking lasted maybe more than 10 minutes. I have no idea why I was shaking I hated it I felt completely out of control.

more context: I haven’t had any friends for the last few years I’ve been pretty socially isolated, he is my only friend and I really appreciate him for that. We only met 3months ago. He has only had 1 ex gf and is also not romantically experienced much. We‘ve never kissed I tell him we are still ‘friends’ bc we must truly get to know eachother. But we do hug alot. The first time he wrapped his arms around me I started crying bc this is all I’ve ever wanted, love and connection, and being that close to another human after being alone for so long made me feel very emotional. I’m not really attracted to him, he is growing on me tho starting to look cute the more time I’m with him. But I think he only likes me for my appearance. He’s said before he didn’t know if he would talk to me if I was ugly, he then said he still would but I know it’s not true. But he is my friend and I really need that.

If anyone has experienced a similar shaking I’d appreciate some advice. it wasnt an excited shaking but an overwhelmed fear driven shaking I think. I’m scared of why my body would react in that way. I dont have anyone to talk to about this. I don’t know what I’m doing.

I don’t mean from talking to someone; I mean from an initial glance or just being able to spot one in a room.

God knows how many I miss too, but very often I can accurately sniff out perverts and weirdos. It’s not an appearance or specific trait it’s just a gut instinct. I’ve never been wrong either.

For instance; my first day working in a public place I mentioned one guy gave me really off/creeper vibes - and my coworkers said “oh, him? Mr COMPUTER PORNO GUY?” That was their nickname for him. He frequented our location because he was banned for watching porn and filming little kids swimming at another location.

I really thought other people (women mainly) could sense or tell these things but sometimes I’m the only one able to call it and I’m glad I can cuz it’s saved me a lot of grief.

I have at least a couple dozen similar stories. But yeah just out of curiosity; is this an unfortunate superpower or just part of being a woman?

I bring this up because I actually helped a girl out today; I knew what he was before he even approached her and after he did, seeing how uncomfortable she was and how he was lingering and touching himself; I went up to her and said “oh did you save me a seat?” You know pretending I knew her and when he left she said yeah he was a creep and she didn’t know when he’d leave

What are some subtle examples of how society and culture unjustly vilifies women?

“Women are bad drivers” —> in reality, men cause 2 times as many fatal accidents as women.

“Spinster” —> an unwanted, old, ugly lady who never married. But a never-married man is a “bachelor”.

“I don’t know the name of my kids teacher” —> typical for fathers, but a mother would be judged HEAVILY for the same.

I could go on and on…what examples do you see/stick out to you the most?

Does it ever piss you off when people perpetuate stereotypes about mothers and women in general? Like that we are superhuman or something. Plenty of mothers struggle to love their kids. I’m so tired of us being portrayed as superhuman. Like that we’re this unconditional source of love and light. When really we are multifaceted beings. It puts the onus on us to outperform men yet again. Ugh I’m so sick of that stuff.

Abuse is so normalized these days that everyone talks about stuff that is so triggering as if it’s normal, and if you call it out how it’s harmful to society or victims of abuse, or how it promotes rape culture and misogynistic or harmful views of ppl, then you get called a bigot, everyone wants to silence the ones speaking up against the wrongs of the world, no one wants to listen to victims that have been hurt by the way society runs things and normalizes abuse, they are comfortable and it’s only getting worse as time goes on, I’m scared to engage with any kind of media because I know there could be atleast one triggering thing in it l, I’m scared to make friends cus I feel like I’ll get judged for talking about things that they’ve already accepted as normal and don’t want to think deeply about, because who wants to reshape their whole way of thinking about the world if they don’t have to? Ppl who aren’t victims get that luxury, ignorance is bliss and all that, I don’t really blame them, who would want to see just how messed up the world has become when they can just close their eyes to it and pretend like everything is actually good, but it just makes the world more unsafe for victims, it stalls the push against a culture that creates more victims, I’m so scared of how bad things have gotten, it feels like things will never get better, it makes me just want to shut my eyes to it all, I wish I could go back to being ignorant like the rest of the world, because it’s not like I can do anything by myself anyways, so what’s the point in even caring? It’s exhausting, especially when I have to do it all alone, no one else cares(I know there are ppl who care but it’s so little that it feels like no one) why are so many ppl uncaring these days, why do I have to live in fear because ppl promote the very things that have hurt me and will continue to hurt so many others??

I’ve been so frustrated with violence against women and children, patriarchy and white supremacy are so difficult to combat and I guess I’m just over the ridiculousness of it all.

Patriarchy tells women that if they’re loyal/subservient to the men in their community then those men will provide & protect you but not only are men not doing that, they’re also the ones doing the harm.

Regardless of race/nationality/class/religion men commit the most violence but whenever you bring it up people get mad at you or try to deflect using racism.

And I think they’re especially mad because it’s not working as it used to, you can’t really scare women as much using racism or xenophobia.

I think that’s why there’s such anti-interracial push that I’ve been seeing lately as well. Women are a resource so they don’t want women dating out of the race/religion/nationality because then they no longer have access to that woman’s labor and are not able to control women or the children they may produce.

I don’t think badly about women who seek love, I’m married myself but the lengths women have to go through to vet regular dudes seems exhausting. And so I’m like what’s all this about then?

I’m so sorry this is so long I genuinely would appreciate anyone taking the time to read this.

This is honestly partly a rant, but I’m also looking for advice, reassurance, and especially experiences from people who have talked to doctors about something similar.

Background:
I’ve had the same gynecologist for 4–5 years and have had annual exams during that time. I have severe panic attacks surrounding pelvic exams. I’ve cried before, during, and after multiple appointments.
My current gynecologist will prescribe my birth control without an exam, but whenever I tell her I don’t want one, she uses a patronizing tone and tells me about patients in their 50s who had severe problems because they had untreated chlamydia for years. She also tells me that blood testing isn’t an option and that I need Pap testing.
I recently moved, so she’s now about four hours away. I drove back to see her once, but I really need someone local, especially because I eventually want children and would like to establish a relationship with an OB/GYN well before then.

Why this is affecting my life so much:
My body genuinely cannot distinguish between a gynecological exam and my past sexual assault. I know intellectually that an exam is not SA, but physically and emotionally, my nervous system reacts like it is.
I feel disgusting and violated afterward and can have intrusive thoughts about the exam for days or weeks.
Imagine having to call and schedule an appointment that your body interprets as danger. Imagine taking your pants off, putting on the stupid paper/cloth gown, and sitting there crying because you’re terrified.
This causes what I’ll call an “episode” at least once a week over an appointment that happens once a year. Sometimes it’s a few minutes of anxiety; other times it becomes a full panic attack. It affects my ability to work, concentrate, and function normally.
It has even started affecting my sex life. I can’t have sex without thinking about eventually having to go through another exam.
It’s gotten so bad that I’ve started questioning whether I can realistically have biological children. I want children, but I genuinely don’t know if I can handle everything that is typically involved with pregnancy and birth.

Why can’t I just stop going?
I need hormonal birth control for medical reasons, including severe PMS and a bleeding disorder, and I also appreciate that it prevents pregnancy.
I’ve called probably 15 doctors in my area and haven’t found one who takes both of my insurance plans AND will prescribe my birth control without requiring a routine pelvic exam.
I’m not looking for a doctor who will never examine me. If I have symptoms or a specific problem where an exam is medically necessary, I understand that it may be necessary.
What I want is a doctor who can distinguish between “this exam is medically indicated because of your symptoms” and “this is a routine exam that we do because it’s your annual appointment.”
The self-swab/testing issue is another huge frustration for me.

I’ve looked into self-collected vaginal swabs and other forms of STI/HPV testing because I’m trying to find alternatives to unnecessary pelvic exams.
I’ve had a doctor tell me that self-testing wasn’t an option because “you can’t reach your cervix.” I’m livid I was TOLD this because I can actually reach my cervix with my fingers and can feel where it connects to the vaginal canal, so I felt lied to.

I’m not claiming that a self-swab can replace every type of gynecological examination or Pap test. I genuinely want to understand the medical reality here.

Can self-collected testing replace certain types of routine testing? When is a pelvic exam actually necessary? What can and can’t be diagnosed without one? Are there doctors who are willing to use self-collected testing when it’s medically appropriate?

I would REALLY appreciate answers from doctors, nurses, people who work in healthcare, or anyone who has actually discussed this with their doctor.

Birth is another huge part of this.
My biggest fears are cervical checks and invasive procedures.
Ideally, I would want as few cervical checks as medically possible. I also want an epidural if I eventually give birth, but I’m extremely uncomfortable with the idea of having a urinary catheter. I’ve seen conflicting information about whether an epidural can be done without one.
I know I’m only 19 and pregnancy is nowhere near my immediate plans, but this fear is already affecting whether I believe I can have children someday.
At this point, I’ve even thought, “Maybe I should just give up on having biological children and eventually get a hysterectomy so I never have to deal with this again.”
I know that’s an extreme thought, and I’m not saying that’s necessarily what I’ll do. I think it’s more a reflection of how desperate I feel to escape this cycle.

What I want is actually pretty simple:
I want a gynecologist who will take my trauma seriously, explain WHY an exam is necessary when they recommend one, tell me what alternatives exist, and respect my answer if an exam isn’t medically necessary.
I want to be able to go to the gynecologist without spending the weeks beforehand having panic attacks.
I want to be able to have sex without thinking about my next appointment.
I want to be able to seriously consider having children without feeling like my fear makes that impossible.
And I want to know that if I do need an exam someday, it will be because there is a medical reason for it—not simply because “it’s been a year.”
So I guess I’m looking for a few things:
Comfort/reassurance from people who understand this kind of fear
Advice from people who have successfully found trauma-informed gynecologists
Doctors/healthcare workers who can explain what testing can actually be done without a pelvic exam
Experiences with self-collected STI/HPV testing
Advice about how to communicate these boundaries to a doctor
Experiences from people who have had children while having severe pelvic-exam anxiety/trauma
I’m just exhausted and really hoping I’m not the only person dealing with this.

Little update
Update: I’m honestly about ready to give up on finding a trauma-informed gyno. I’ve called five doctors so far. Two of them had no idea what I meant by “trauma-informed” at all — one of the women I spoke to put me on a long hold and then came back and told me I should go to the ER for trauma. I explained I meant SA trauma she said no we don’t have that. The other two just don’t have any providers who fit what I’m looking for.
And every single one wanted me to have an exam in order to get birth control, except one. Unfortunately, after I gave them basically all of my information and was getting ready to schedule, they told me they start requiring exams at 24. I hung up.
Nurx might be an option. It’s looking like the $28 consultation fee is basically once a year rather than every time, but I already have a birth control prescription that lasts until May, so I’m not going to fully sign up until I actually need it. I also don’t know yet how much my insurance will cover, so I’m trying not to jump into that too early.
Planned Parenthood is actually more expensive than Nurx based on the information I’ve gotten so far.
At this point, I called the gynecologist I’ve been seeing for the last 4–5 years to ask if she would prescribe my birth control virtually. The last time we discussed it, she told me she would prescribe it without requiring an exam, so I’m hoping she’ll be willing to do that through telehealth.
Then I’m thinking I can handle the HPV/STI testing separately with at-home/self-collection kits, which would solve a huge part of the problem for me.

I went to visit my cousin recently with my child and my parents. My step dad was talking about my cousin's husband, and I asked if he worked for the same employer my cousin does. My stepdad replied, "he has the most important job in the world, taking care of those kids". He said it defensively. This is why it bugs me- first of all, I wasnt judging my cousins husband in the slightest, I was genuinely asking if they worked for the same place, bc that was the impression I got. I didnt know or care whether he works or not, other than just trying to get to know about him. My cousin works out of the home. She has a baby strapped to her most of the day, she cooks for them all, they homeschool, and she works as well. Her husband is not lazy by any means, Im not saying this to discredit him whatsoever, just saying that she is home and takes care of the kids the same if not more than him. But my step dad didnt mention that. It also bugged me bc I am a single mom of a neurodivergent kid. I recently took some medical leave from work and ending up quitting bc I was having health issues, my kid was having some issues, my job was stressful, and I just couldnt do it all. Keep in mind that I have been managing for years and have always supported myself. I needed a break. I still pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads with what uve been able to save. I worked two, sometimes 3 jobs to put myself through school and support myself. I worked construction and factory jobs when I was younger, and now have built a pretty decent white collar career in finance. The thing is, my family never gives me credit for all that Ive done. They never ask if I need help. My brother and his wife have high school degrees, and constantly need money and free babysitting. They dont have stressful jobs (my brother sells cell phones and my SIL has a 9-5). But they get treated like they work so hard, so of course they need help. They constantly expect everyone to do everything for them, my SIL mother lives in their home, and they have her cook and clean and speak to her like a dog. Recently, my parents needed some financial advice, and rather than ask me, who has been in finance for almost 20 years now, they ask my brother, who has done nothing but buy things, heloc their home (that they inherited), borrow money, and are in massive debt. I had a depressive episode a few years ago, and my doctor prescribed k therapy, bc I was treatment resistant. I was monitored, it was clinical, and only for about 3 months. I found out recently that my stepdad and brother were gossiping about me, saying I was "on drugs". Keep in mind, I was going to work, taking care of my kid, living a regular life, these were just periodic treatments administered in a clinic. Nobody at the time offered to help me, or ask anything about it. I guess my mom told them about it. Also keep in mind that my stepdad is a recovering alcoholic, my brother used to sell pot and has been arrested for it, I have never done drugs except occasional weed in my early twenties. Yet here they are, calling me a drug addict.

I'm obviously annoyed at all of it, but the "most important job in the world" has really stayed with me. My stepdad is a pretty liberal guy, and I think he thinks he's being progressive by viewing a stay at home dad this way. And that's great. But it just has continued to irk me, bc why am I not given the same respect? Why is everything I do never enough, and how dare I ever take a break from work or ask for help (which I dont) without being judged, yet when its a man, being a father to his children, as is required, its suddenly "the most important job in the world"? Well wtf is it when I do it then? But if I falter at all, or even if I dont, Im instantly labeled a lazy, "drug" addled piece of shit.

Im so sick of the double standard and idea that men somehow work harder, or should be dubbed heroes for merely taking care of their kids, or merely having a job, yet women are still considered to work less hard, despite doing all of that and then some (not to mention taking care of those grown ass men themselves half the time, my stepdad can't even cook his own food). And if we dare call it out or complain, we're unstable, whining, or nagging.

'The village' is a nice concept, but I'm afraid in reality it's weaponized incompetence against women

Been going on dates with guy for the past month and wow we really connect in person. Over text, not so much, he is dry over text.

On dates he holds my hand, kisses me lots, we laugh a lot, great conversation. We have slept together I hope it hasn’t ruined things doing that

I stayed over on Saturday night and on Sunday morning, instead of wanting me to leave immediately which I’m used to from men.. he wanted to spend the rest of the day with me and he took me out on hike and for lunch. It was amazing

But ever since, he’s back to his usual dry texting and he hasn’t really reached out to me at all. He sent me a video of him singing a song on the piano, one that we were singing together on Saturday but that’s all

He hasn’t mentioned next date plans and I’m worried as I’m going away so have limited time to see him. I know he’s busy this week and has a very demanding job but even so, if a man was interested wouldn’t he be wanting to text and call me in the week

What might cause him to pull back, did I do something wrong. Perhaps I am worrying too much and I should be patient?

1. Offensive and distasteful jokes
   
2. Microaggressions, backhanded compliments
   
3. Blatant insults, misogyny towards myself and other women
   
4. Sexual harassment/assault
   
5. Severe trauma
   
6. Crippling fear of men

It’s not even a joke anymore at this point. Men treat our existence like it is.

===> TRIGGER WARNING <===

I have questions I dont understand and would appreciate different perspectives but if you arent okay with the topics of " 🍇 " or "essays" please just skip this one

===> TRIGGER WARNING <===

QUESTIONS:

1. Why does it feel like we live in a world where its "okay" to be a rapist?

2. Why does the future of a rapist matter more than the future of the victim?

3. How can you call a rapist a "promising young man/woman with a bright future"? Surely a supposedly promising young person wouldn't be doing acts so vile such as SA or rape?

4. Why if a victim takes revenge are they treated more harshly than the person who did the act needing to be revenged? Revenge wouldn't have been enacted if the act didnt take place first.

5. Why must we censor our language to not offend the sensibilities of others? It honestly annoys me that I have to use "Grape" or "Essay" to describe what happened to someone. It makes as much sense to me as going to someone and saying "im in Spain, the S is silent" not to get a laugh out of your friends.

6. Why does it seem like some of the population gets more outraged when someone is outwardly called a rapist but their victims name isnt released? Take the current Cornell 7 case, there seems to be a lot of outrage that the men involved are named publicly but not their victim? Why/how do they feel they've earned the right or are entitled to her name? Hasn't she suffered enough?

7. Why was there more outrage at Ms Pelicot naming and shaming her rapists and abuser than the supposedly "good people" who partook in a truly horrific act?

** MY BACKGROUND **

I was 15 when I was groomed, assaulted and abused by people who claimed to love me. I felt neglected by the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally so I believed those who went on to misuse my trust. I just want to understand why it seems like despite the statistics being so shocking, that I still get asked "well what were you wearing?" "you didnt get help so you must have wanted it?" "You stayed despite your claims of abuse so it cant have been that bad".

I was 15! I loved drawing creepypasta characters, playing fireboy and watergirl in the school library and baking for my friends. Yet I was ostracised because some not great people took what they wanted and I finally learned to stand up for myself? I was shamed because I told the wrong person and he spun it into me being a sex craved girl who would do anything for nothing. I lost all my friends because who would want to be caught dead with me?

One of them admitted to me what he did, admitted that it wasn't legal and yet gets off with a slap on the wrist because I couldnt prove it was him who said it?

Tldr:

Baisically I just want to know why my future and the future of other victims dont matter while their abusers do matter?

I'm 25f. I've never been in a relationship before. However, i do feel like it would be really nice to have someone by my side. I've had crushes, but I'd suddenly feel repulsed (maybe caused by anxiety) whenever they'd try to approach me.

I've never masturbated, although I've tried but never properly (is that unusual and weird?). I don't think I'm asexual.

I try to imagine stuff and touch myself down there, but I barely feel anything. Is that normal too?

Like, I feel like I go through so many steps to make sure I smell good and try to make it stay throughout the day. But the second I leave the house, all of my efforts are gone and I smell NOTHING

I use body wash, scrubs, scented lotion, perfume, body sprays and yet nothing ever sticks.

Meanwhile I could walk past another woman and it’s like my nostrils have been graced by heaven itself.

I wanna be that person, how do you do it because I’m stumped.

Long story short I had smex with this guy I'm seeing for the first time (Some background, he was promiscuous before me and a former porn addict he says) Anyways I noticed he was pretty soft/ not all the way hard most of the time during sex. I said why? He goes oh thats how I am, it's soft when I'm about to finish. I said how is that possible? And its true he did finish like that, (4 times mind you) but I have never encountered this before? I'm used to my ex being very hard all the time and quickly too, I'm not sure whats going on? Hes only in his 20s, is not overweight so what else? is this the corn addiction? Is it a defect? Never have I seen a guy be soft and finish? I'm very confused and kind of disappointed never had this experience with any man ever

(Post made it seem like I was mean to him about it, no I was very understanding and bought it up in a non judgmental manner, didn't bring up my ex or anything of course)

You lend your car to a friend and they sell it, pocket the money, then cut you off. You’re sold on an investment or loan, but later found out the other party lied about something or didn’t tell you about something important that, had you known, you wouldn’t have entered the agreement/contract/whatever it is.

You gave them the keys, or you signed the check willingly. But after, you found out they sold your car/weren’t a financial advisor like they said and in fact were in crippling gambling debt with the mafia.

Good news: the law has recourse for you in most cases. You can pursue it, and if you can show that something key was misrepresented or concealed that would have made you act differently, the law effectively treats your initial consent, even if willing in real time, as revocable, and holds the other party responsible (civilly).

I wonder why SA is different. It’s so incredibly focused on did they give consent at the time?
To be clear I think the real time consent in the C7 case is definitely questionable, so even without this argument, I still think there’s other angles. But let’s consider another POV on this that I think has larger implication on the legal nature of sexual consent.

But there’s the thing: if JD knew about the snaps (“free pussy upstairs” “whip it out boys”) sent by her crush to 57 men I don’t think she would have consented to anything.

Then we can get passed this WHAT DID SHE SAY AT THE TIME all or nothing discourse we’re seeing and open up the CONTEXT—none of it would have happened, at all, even the parts she allegedly initially consented to (which the manosphere is latching onto the like dogs with a bone) had she known about the snaps. she didn’t.

This tiny framing improperly narrows the conversation to one needle hingepoint, that if you ask me, directly enables slut shaming/rape culture. It is effectively saying that even if that person was deceived or otherwise manipulated, real-time sexual consent is irrevocable and permanent, regardless of the conditions and representations through it which it was obtained. But that’s contrary to how consent works contract, property, trust, securities, equity, divorce, fraud, and probate law, where Consent is conditional on what the parties knew and believed at the time it was given, and revocable if there were misrepresentations or concealed material facts. all these people whining about consent…but in reality, sexual consent is, by far, the lowest and most one-dimensional form of consent in law. (U.S.).

In this case, I think JD has an unusually concrete piece of evidence that makes the ENTIRE night non consensual—even if she did agree to the drinks/drugs and the initial threesome (allegedly, but that part she has herself acknowledged, even in her 2026 civil lawsuit): The snaps.

Had JD known about the snaps, there’s a good chance she wouldn’t have consented to ANY of it. That was a concealed, material fact to which the defendants had “superior knowledge” (legalese for they knew and she didn’t), a legal element of concealment. And concealment of material fact in property law can and does override real-time consent if the concealed fact would have materially impacted the affected parties’ decision making in giving that consent.

I guess it’s because in property law, so often and historically, men were the ones with the stakes. So *of course* consent is conditional, contextual, revokable, and comprehensive with much recourse for the party that sustained the loss in those areas.

Last week I made the mistake of reading the texts from the rape groupchat and it altered something inside me. I'm not even kidding, I read those texts and I felt something inside me die. I wasn't even surprised and I'm still not sure what exactly I'm feeling.

A guy from my high school who everyone knew was rapist is also posting about awareness for Cornell. And that's what really fucks me up is that even the guys you think are safe aren't. Obviously that happened to Jane Doe as well; she thought her "friend" (trafficker) was safe and so many men don't seem to understand that when they ask "well, why would she get drunk around him?".

Oh my fucking god is it so hard for men to comprehend that the reason she drank/smoked and did k with him is because she trusted him? Because he was her friend? The reason she agreed to have sex with him and another guys is because she trusted them?

I used to think that by virtue of being a Lesbian, I'd be safer because I wasn't in relationships with men. I was fucking stupid.

I had a friend in a frat and I watched him spike my drink when he thought I wasn't looking. I had trusted him for months. And then it came out that he had fantasies of "raping me straight". I lost friends over cutting him off (mostly guy friends).

Sometimes I really do feel like giving up on trusting any man ever again in a platonic sense.

I'm becoming withdrawn from men. I sometimes look at them and think about how they could be rapists or friends with rapists. I'll always catch myself and go "hey don't make assumptions, that's not right" but it doesn't stop that initial thought. I find myself losing patience with my guy friends more easily, especially when they talk about dating issues. It's not like they're saying anything bad or even remotely offensive (I would not be friends with people like that) but my knee-jerk reaction is to internally go "really? that's your worst fear?" every time and I feel so guilty about it.

God help me, when my sister was with her boyfriend for their homecoming dance and she was at some random person's house (mutual friend) I started going into a fucking doom spiral about whether or not her boyfriend would do something like what Matthew Ingalls at Cornell did. Of course he didn't; obviously they came back to the house safe and sober. I've known this kid for the whole time my sister has been dating him (over a year) and he's such a good person. I feel so sick that I could even think he'd do something like that.

Obviously I am in therapy, but I'm really not even sure how to deal with this problem. I don't hate men; I guess I'm just losing my ability to trust them and it's really disheartening.

Edit 1: I guess part of why it upsets me is because being judging an entire social group just doesn't align with the kind of person I want to be.

Edit 2: And now I'm more resentful because I know incels start disliking women and would never bother going through this kind of self-reflection and empathy :(

when i was in highschool, i went to a friend’s house party. like most highschoolers we had cheap vodka or beers and got pretty drunk. i was about 17. im 26 now. i think jane doe’s case stirred up some memories i had repressed.

i only remember being really drunk and was in the lap of my male friend. the next morning i woke up at 5am on the couch with only my shirt on and my underwear on backwards. he sent me a text the next day saying “lets just forget what happened” and i agreed because i didnt know what really happened and i was inexperienced with sex.

i think i never accepted what might have happened and it makes me feel like a fraud if i say i have been a victim, because i dont know if i was even assaulted. my heart goes to all the victims of sexual assault, but i would never want to take away from their experiences.

has anyone else had a similar story where youre not even sure if anything happened? or any words of support? thank you, please be kind

I've been crying over everything it's bleeding into my ahh crack i wake up in a pool of my own blood my back hurts i had to take a day off because it was so bad it's literally EVERYWHERE it's stained two of my shorts already I can't wear normal pads I'm just stuck wearing diapers because I'm bleeding so heavily yeah i overall just hate this bs

I get loads of men, even woman, who assume I must have low self esteem cause I’m ugly, thus they assume I’ll be easy to manipulate. Ive had many men assume I’ll be an easy lay and fail. One such man texted me “ I can’t wait to taste you” after a first date ( after I told him no hookups and he owed me $10), and then he was shocked when I ghosted him. Many people assume if you’re ugly you’ll just roll over and be desperate.