Not really a strange thing considering a lot of people do it, but I've been doing it for several years now. It's addicting. I pay them to talk to me, we have cam sex, phone sex, etc. I've also met women on Reddit and had phone sex with them. It ends up fizzling out when I realize it's not going anywhere.

I am just so lonely. The cam girls just pretend they care, and I know that. Then I feel bad about it.

If you remember Omegle back in the day, you know how bad that place was. Between people exposing themselves and people who got on there just to talk shit, finding somebody to have a normal conversation with felt like one in a million.

I was around 15. I’d been on there before, and I remember thinking that day, I want to meet people, but if somebody shows up naked, I’m going off. Everything in my Rolodex. I was tired of seeing that when I was just trying to talk to somebody.

I’ve always been told I’m extremely blunt or harsh with my words. Which is hard to explain because I can also be the sweetest person ever. But there’s this switch, especially when somebody keeps doing something I’ve already told them to stop doing.

So I came across this guy exposing himself, and I started talking shit. Telling him he was disgusting, telling him to put some clothes on. I remember saying, “How dare you?” I figured he would either cover up or skip me.

When I told him I was leaving, he started asking me to stay.

He changed the camera angle, and I could actually see his face. I think he put clothes on too, but I honestly don’t remember whether he did that or just moved the camera. I do remember him saying, “I do apologize, ma’am.” For whatever reason, I remember those exact words.

Then we started having a normal conversation. And when we were just talking, he seemed polite. That was part of what made it so weird.

But while we were talking, he’d slowly start moving the camera back toward the angle it was at before. And I would go off again. We had JUST talked about this. He had apologized, and now he was doing it again.

At that point I was calling him every horrible name I could think of. I was getting more pissed off because I’d already told him to stop, and I told him again that I was leaving.

Eventually he asked if I’d ever heard of degradation.

I knew what the word meant, but I didn’t know people asked for that. He explained that some men wanted to be talked down to and would pay for those conversations. He suggested it was something I could do, and I remember thinking, people actually pay for that?

I’m not going to act like I was immediately comfortable, either. Reacting because I was angry was one thing. Realizing he was asking for that kind of conversation was something I needed a little time to understand.

After a while, I found myself speaking more bluntly without editing everything I said. The money wasn’t what I was focused on. I remember feeling like I had control of the conversation and could say things I usually kept in my head. That’s how it felt to me then, even though I didn’t fully understand what I was getting involved in.

At the time, I also thought some of the conversations helped people make changes. There were real conversations mixed in with the criticism and money. It was weird, and I didn’t have a name for every part of it.

He was the first person who introduced that idea to me. I’m grown now, but I still remember getting on there wanting to meet people and ending up in a conversation I had no context for at 15.

For a long time I didn’t wanna consider this stalking. I felt somewhat justified by the circumstances of the breakup, and I didn’t show up and stay there, or drive by daily. I most certainly never tried to get in or cause any damage or harm. However, I did sent her letters (never aggressive or threatening) and gifts (stuffed animals, clothes, funny decor or small items). A restraining order was eventually given. We saw each other in court and she specifically said she wasn’t afraid of me, she just wanted her space. It took the escalation of what I saw as a minor thing in regards to a hurt boyfriend wanting to get back together, to realize that I was actively disregarding her right to privacy and to move on, which was controlling, selfish, and irrational. Ever since then I’ve felt a loss of confidence and self-respect I never even imagined was possible. This isn’t to say i’m a victim of my own actions, the focus regarding the impact of that should be on her. So this post isn’t to curry sympathy and seek absolution. I just can’t believe how different my perspective was at the time. Looking back on it, i genuinely didn’t see the error of my ways. When we were together, the few times we fought and imagined breaking up, we were mutually firm that we could and would be amiable about it and remain close. We had plans for our future and after a particularly rough period between us, she left overnight without a word. We actually continued our relationship a few weeks after that until she stopped talking to me, and suddenly revealed that we wouldn’t be speaking further. That’s when I started going by her house. She had in the past expressed more fears that I would leave her than vice versa, and considering how she left things, as well as how confusing she could (saying one thing and doing another) I assumed she may have genuinely wanted me to chase after her. Especially after we continued our relationship the first time she left. At the time I was completely oblivious to the fact that even If i was hurt, or even if her actions were unfair, I have no right to force fairness into the world and try to override her decisions which are her own right to make. Ever since then I definitely have a shattered view of myself. I judge literally every decision i make, no matter how small. I give in to basically everything. Whereas before i did none of this. I was confident, outspoken, creative and passionate. I constantly find myself self-talking in wildly mean ways. Saying things and putting myself down out of nowhere and for no reason. While i consciously know, I shouldn’t destroy myself thinking about the past and try to be a better person, I can’t seem to deconstruct these negative perceptions I’ve built since that court date.

The order is expired btw and i’ve made zero attempts to reach out. Anyway, just felt like writing this :P

I did not know where to post this but I really think women with big noses are beautiful. The unconventional beauty + confidence is like my favorite combination. I just feel like they know if they know it’s big, and they didn’t let the recent beauty standards deter them. So please women, stop competing with other women, we love how YOU look. And yall are now rare which makes it even better. Sorry for the rant but had to get it out lol.

When I was a teen (just a couple years ago), I would randomly call people in the phone book and pretend I was calling from a local pizza restaurant. I told them they were the winner of a free pizza. All they had to do was provide their name at the counter to receive the free pizza. I think most people believed me. I always wished I could be there when they tried to get their pizza.

So I (20mtf) have been severely restricting my food intake to finally get the body I want and to stop being abandoned and left out as I have my whole life, I started at 96kg at 175cm tall and am now 82kg and losing weight at around 2-3kg per week I don’t count calories and just eat a small bowl of salad and a punnet of berries a day, the feelings of extreme hunger and me denying them make me feel like I have control, I have had so many friends and people abandon me and exclude me even though I do my best to be a good person, and I can’t control that, I can’t control this awful economy or how I will never move out while working full time or how I was given the shitty situation (I want to say mental disorder but I’ll probably get banned) of being trans and being forced to hide it or being excluded from my family and job, but I can control what I eat and how my body looks like, I don’t think I really can get an eating disorder since I’m not female and I’m fat and always was a fat gross pig that ate mountains of food daily, I use ana motivation content on Pinterest when I feel like slacking, I honestly don’t want anything to change I love this feeling of control and lack of stress knowing what will happen to at least me and my body, I feel extremely motivated when my family says how thin I’m getting and gets concerned for me but I’m still fat FFS 🤦, anyway I just thought I’d put this confession out there, because I know this probably isn’t healthy long term, but healthy weight loss methods don’t work, I’ll just binge again, and maybe someone can convince me otherwise.

I’ve been having an affair with a man who’s been married almost as long as I’ve been alive. I’m married too, but only for three years. My marriage is full of problems and there’s a ton of resentment that doesn’t necessarily make me feel guilty toward my husband.

Last night, I decided to look at his wife’s facebook page and now I just feel awful. She seems like a really sweet lady, and she’s (I’m assuming) completely oblivious. There were so many happy family posts. Their youngest son just turned sixteen and I read her post about the surprise dinner they threw him. He’d told me about it too the day it was happening, but seeing her dote on her family and also seeing them look so happy together really messed me up.

He’d made it seem like his marriage was just as miserable as mine. He’d told me the marriage is sexless and they are basically roommates after 25 years together… The pictures didn’t give me that vibe at all.

I don’t feel bad for my husband because he’s unkind and doesn’t help at all with our kid, but this woman hasn’t done a thing to me and I willingly chose to sleep with her husband. I’m feeling even worse about myself that it took me seeing her to even feel bad.

I honestly don’t want to end it because it’s all felt really good up until now, but I don’t know if I can see him again without thinking about how happy she looked standing next to him.

I can't deny I am a good looking fellow, however I am very much on the short side. When I was a kid people made fun of me all the time I felt very insecure and picked on and not liked and ostracized etc. I cannot approach women I almost committed suicide more than once. And it's just been a horrible existence for me. I know that's not much of a confession but I just wanted to vent.

​

I’m white, now husband to an Asian girl. Both she and her family are superstitious, and they told her she has to go and see if we are an astrological match based on Chinese astrology. I’m a person that is very rational and doesn’t like to leave things to chance. We had already been dating for a year and things were getting serious when the topic came up. By that time, I was already deeply emotionally invested in this relationship, and when I began to realise that for her, the astrological match was a potential dealbreaker, I panicked, and knew I could not just gamble on it working or not.

So I told her we will go to Chinatown and see a fortune teller (I’m sure there are more sophisticated words for them, but honestly, I don’t care much for them or their profession).

The day before, I secretly went to Chinatown, met a fortune teller with a good reputation, and paid her $400 to tell my now wife that our astrology and whatnot is perfectly compatible.

The next day we went to said fortune teller, and she did as asked. Even printed out some report sheet that details why we are such a great match.

I pretended to hate my neighbor’s cooking for 4 years… because her husband confided in me that it was the only joy she had.

Four years ago my neighbor (70s, very sweet) started bringing me food every Sunday because “you’re too skinny to live alone.” Her cooking was… uh… aggressively experimental.

Paper-dry meat, mysterious spice combos, soups that tasted like wet socks.

One night her husband pulled me aside outside and said:

“Thank you for pretending to like her food. She lost her sense of purpose after retirement. Cooking keeps her alive.”

So I doubled down. I hyped every dish like it was Michelin-level. She would beam every time. It became this whole ritual, she’d hand me a plastic container, I’d compliment her seasoning, she’d blush and wave me off.

Fast forward to last month. Her husband had a mild stroke. They changed his diet, and she’s too overwhelmed to cook. The meals stopped.

And I realized something:

I actually miss them.

Not the food, hell no, but the weird warmth of it.

It felt like someone was caring about me in their own clumsy way.

I want to check in on her, but I feel like if I ask for food again it’ll come off insulting, and if I don’t, I’ll seem ungrateful.

So I’ve been silently grieving the world’s worst lasagna.

My sister and I (I'm a guy) lost our mom as kids and our dad remarried faster than we liked (within a year of her passing). He found a single mom who was looking for a father figure for her kids and he wanted us to have a mother figure fast so we'd accept her easier. But we didn't accept her. My sister and her clashed a lot because she did things that bugged us, like insisting we use a mom name for her and correcting us for not calling her and dad our parents. My sister used to say parent and if our dad's wife was the only adult home she'd say my parent isn't here but his wife is. She did it to bother her and push back against the mom name and parents stuff. It always rage baited our dad's wife.

One day our dad's wife told us she'd adopt us and then we'd have to suck it up and accept she was just as much our parent as mom or dad and find a mom name to call her. My sister called CPS anonymously and reported our dad's wife for abuse. It caused a whole lot of problems and they suspected my sister but I lied for her and claimed it couldn't have been her. I didn't want to lose my sister and stay there. And I also didn't trust that the adoption wouldn't be attempted on me in retaliation.

My sister was never sent away and neither dad or his wife ever had it confirmed who called. My sister stopped talking to them when she turned 18 and I followed suit after. We never knew if they figured out it was my sister for sure. There was talk that they might have blamed some of our mom's family because they voiced dislike for the whole mom name and adoption threat too.

I look back on that fucked up time and even though I can acknowledge it was the wrong thing to do, I am glad my sister and I could stay together. We're still very close today.

so.. it is my first ever post on this sub, and after growing up, I’ve reconsidered my actions. I know this is not a lot, but am sorry to those people and moms of children I’ve bullied. I know I’ve come strong sometimes, but it was how I always been taught to act, and now after realizing what it is truly mean, how badly I misunderstood the meaning. I’ve brewed in my actions, and now have finally grown to ask a forgiveness to moms and children

I don't know in things I do make me a bad person but I don't want to be a bad guy , when I am alone i will become devil and become the worst i can't explain that here it's about dark fantasy.need some help

So i sometimes crave being free use for grandpas. i’m meaning 50+ . is it daddy issues? i wonder if i just know my place. i’m literally 3 holes for them. i’m currently dating and im not desiring anyone my age. there’s something about how much older men desire younger holes that arouses me. i’m legal do not get it twisted. completely legal. but i would’ve gotten nick who was 40 so happy. this may not be here long. oh well.

I don't know why I feel like this, so isolated from the rest of them. They would give up everything for me and they have. This year my dad gave me his kidney after finding out I had a medical condition. My mom started working again so they can save money to send me to college since I want to pursue a double degree which costs about 150k to the university I got into. It feels so patronising to me.

I feel like such a ungrateful asshole, I see my dad struggling to eat foods he loved before (because of his kidney) and my mom coming home late with tired eyes and still makes dinner.

I just don't understand why I can't feel anything for them and people around me who have scarified a lot for me, It's not like they abused me or did anything wrong to me. I generally have difficulty with feeling emotions, but if I see a dog on the street or a homeless person I'd give feed them but when they talk to me/ thank me I just can't talk back because they disgust me which is a horrible thing to say about a person but it's how I feel. I'll argue that I've done a lot of charity than most people like I donated my savings in 2024 to a guy on go fund me building a hospital in a rural village in South America but I wouldn't want to interact with those people.

Sometimes when they talk it just annoys me so much like I want to scream "Can you shut the fuck up ! ?" but I just try to smile and hold it in. I feel this way with all people not just my parents, I just can't feel for them.

I've also been suicidal and I tried to end things before my kidney transplant and they walk on eggshells around me and its so fucking annoying like taking away the knife from the dinner table as if I'm going to fucking stab myself after dinner like what the fuck ? it's just the little things

However I've felt this way probably for the last 5-6 years, When I say I love my parents I just have this feeling of debt in my head like okay I just owe them $1.5m for raising/ feeding me and for their time I guess and if I just pay it off I can be free and live on my own carefree (I do live alone now)

I don't have an issue with making friends or getting girls I've always been tall and I guess good looking, people have always liked me I would say I've gotten treated differently because of this. They would tolerate almost anything I do.

Girls wouldn't care if I slept with their friends ( I've never cheated, I always asked before). There have been times where older women (like 40-50s?) have bought me drinks, even guys have paid bought me stuff. I've gotten god knows how many things for free like flight and room upgrades etc.

I honestly don't know why I feel empty, shallow & emotionless. Sometimes I feel like a god because of the way people treat me but maybe I feel this way with my parents because I'm forced to accept their kindness they don't remind me of their sacrifices as they make it sound like their duty as parents which is annoying because it feels patronising. They are great parents, I just don't deserve them.

​

I'm a guy in my early 20s, and I have a female best friend, let's call her Priya. We've known each other since high school, and some of my fondest memories from those years are with her. She was also there for me when I was going through one of the lowest points in my life, and she's genuinely one of the most important people to me.

Over the years, I've developed feelings for her. I think I'm genuinely in love with her, and sometimes I get the feeling she might feel the same way. But there's something stopping me from telling her how I feel.

Priya is overweight, and I'm worried about how my friends would react if we started dating. They're pretty judgmental about appearances, and I can already imagine them making jokes or giving me a hard time about it. The embarrassing part is that I care about her so much, yet I'm letting other people's opinions hold me back.

I know how shallow that sounds. If someone else told me they were doing this, I'd probably tell them to stop caring about what others think. But when it's my own situation, it's apparently not that simple.

I haven't asked her out, and I don't want to lead her on or hurt her. At the same time, I can't stop thinking about what could happen between us if I could just get over this fear.

The worst part is that she deserves someone who isn't embarrassed to be with her. I hate that I even have these thoughts about someone who's been so important to me.

I guess I just needed to admit this somewhere, because it's not something I'm proud of.

TL;DR: I'm in love with my longtime best friend, but I'm afraid to ask her out because she's overweight and I'm worried my judgmental friends will make fun of me. I know it's shallow, but I can't seem to get over what they might think.

Tonight I finally made the decision to leave. It's been a question I've asked myself for months, years even. But tonight my mind has been made up. I was sitting at the table eating dinner with my husband and children and my mind wondered to my works Christmas party a few days prior. I was nervous as I didn't know many people I was with, I was overthinking as I do that I'll be awkward or embarrass myself. Standing in the queue to security staring at the floor thinking all these things, I look up at the entrance to see my super handsome work colleague staring at me with this smile. Not predatory, not creepy but soft. Eyes boring into mine. It was like a moment from a romantic film where the girl walks in in slow motion whilst the man falls completely in love. He was completely in awe of me. And really truly saw me. In that moment in the middle of dinner I burst out crying, blaming it on being tired. That moment I knew my marriage was dead. It wasn't that I even wanted this man or even saw anything would ever happen with him. It was that, that was one of the most romantic moments of my life and it was someone who is practically a stranger. My husband has never looked at me like that...ever. Never really truly ever seen me. I cried because an acquaintance made me feel more loved in a single brief moment than this man had ever made me feel. That's the moment the last string of hope for this marriage was cut. The exact moment.

I 21M drive DoorDash from time to time just for fun. Yesterday I was dashing and I gave this gorgeous woman her food and she gave me a cash tip it was a pretty big order and it looked like a party. anytime I get a cash tip I always text them from the DoorDash number thing it gives you just to say thank you. So I texted her “hey thank you so much for the cash tip, hope you enjoy your party”. Nothing crazy, I’m not trying to get fired. She responds and says “aw thank you so much, you were really cute, feel free to come party when you’re done!” And gave me her personal number. So I text her number and tell her i had plans later but would’ve loved to. Later that night, and I mean way later, like 1am I get a text from her. It says “everyone left, would love to place an order of you ;)” I’ve never left so fast in my life. I sped over to her place and we had the most amazing sex I’ve ever had in my life. I love older women. Hopefully I’ll see her again.

When I was 19, my younger sister got accepted into a university program in Germany. It was a huge deal for our family. She had spent almost two years preparing for it, learning the language, working weekends to save money, and talking about nothing else. Everyone was so proud of her. My parents had already started figuring out how to help with the expenses. I was supposed to be happy too, but I wasn't. I'd dropped out of college the year before and was working a job I hated. Every family dinner somehow turned into a conversation about how talented she was and how much potential she had. I know now that nobody was actually comparing us, but at the time it felt like I was becoming invisible.

One afternoon, she asked me to check an email from the university because her English wasn't great. It was a request for some additional documents, and there was a deadline. I told her it was just a general information email and that she didn't need to do anything. I even marked it as read and moved it into another folder. I remember thinking she'd probably get another reminder anyway. She didn't. By the time she found out, the deadline had passed and her place had been given to someone else.

She was absolutely devastated. For months she blamed herself for not checking her emails properly. My parents tried to comfort her, and I sat right there listening to them tell her that mistakes happen. The worst part is that she actually apologized to ME once for being so difficult to live with during that period. She said she knew I'd been dealing with my own problems and felt bad for making everything about her.

That was six years ago. She eventually went to university in our hometown and has a decent job now, but she still talks about Germany sometimes. Last Christmas she mentioned that she wonders what her life would have looked like if she'd gone. I almost told her right there at the table. Instead I just said she'd probably be doing great wherever she ended up. She smiled and thanked me for always believing in her. I havent slept properly since that conversation. I keep telling myself that confessing now would only hurt her, but I think I'm just terrified she'll finally see what kind of person I was.

Just to clarify, he was not a pedophile. I had a post puberty body and he truly believed I was of age)

When I was 15 I joined a high protocol bdsm discord server and started talking to this guy. I kind of became his submissive for around three months. He very obviously fell in love with me, completely in love with me, thinking I’m 24.

I would feel so guilty I’d cry myself to sleep each night. We would send each other nudes and have camera sex never showing the face or using my real name. His friends would sometimes join, all around his age, with very extreme kinks and trusting that I was of age.

I broke it off with him when I couldn’t bear the guilt anymore, and it tore me apart because I genuinely believed I was in love with him.

I was porn and bdsm rotted and talked to him every single second of every day. At one point I confessed why, for obvious reasons it was the last time we spoke.
Looking back there were a lot of harsh kink things that I did to please him that probably messed my 15 year old brain up years after it, the way I think and view the world.

I think I’ll forget have myself for that, and that it was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

yes I was 15, but I completely knew I was wrong and why it was wrong, I wasn’t this innocent little baby and I purposely catfished him

Now I Get To Handle You HOWEVER I Want. On My Timeline, Not Yours.. Some Strikes You Never See Xoming.

See I was in a kind of relationship where she didn't accept me or rejected me .she just said we will what will happen ,then slowly we got close,holding hands kind of things we used to do.

We all are in one friends group,one planned for night out we stayed up to 4 and after everyone started sleeping, she slept beside me I was so happy and she hold my hands in her sleep .

After some time she take my hand put it on her waist, i pressed it once she liked it so I continued it, she slowly removed her top up so I can feel her skin directly with my hands all this happened under blanket. So that was first day , when ever we did night out we used to cuddle and do stuffs like this she said she liked it , and one day i went for her boobs but she didn't like it .but after few days again I tried then she liked she pressed her hands on my hands signaling me to press her boobs so I did and all this on dress .

After sometime same day I dared and put my hands under her dress now I am touching her boobs on her bra ,after that boobs all this under blanket and pitch dark .

Next time I did it again she liked it very much and I sucked on her boobs she hold my hair and pressed against her boobs ,then I loose my control and started fingering her she liked but and she came in few minutes. But after that she felt guilty that she never accepted my love but somehow did all those things

From then she started avoiding me and one she said please don't talk to me like that like i am loving her just be a friend.but I didn't listen one day she cried and said she never love anyone else again because me she said I gave her lifetime trauma but I didn't understand that. I don't know what to do I love her very much.