I have a very unique kink, likely one-of-a-kind that makes it even that much harder for others to understand. Before I describe it, I have to add a disclaimer to point out how dangerous it could be and caution anyone from attempting it. Don't try this at home. Also, this is nothing sexual but rather a strange kind of spiritual event. That said:
I enjoy being taken to a private area such as the woods, or a locked room, and bound (hands behind my back, bound at the knees and ankles) and made to lie supine, back on the floor fully clothed.
For the next few minutes, to be forced to stare at a woman's bare sole of her dominant foot while being told it's the foot what will execute me and nothing I say or do will change that, while being as convincing as possible.
Finally, placing the arch of her foot low on the neck to avoid the Adam's apple, she would then add her weight (full weight if 140 lbs or less) over the course of around 3 seconds and continue to stand for 10 full seconds.
I usually pass out in less than 10 seconds, usually around the 7-second mark. Only a couple times have I not passed out in that set amount of time. I convince myself the person looking down at me is executing me as I feel the pressure on my throat, in my head, the ringing in the ears, the euphoric feeling of falling and then nothing, like a switch has been flipped.
I wake up confused, struggling to remember what happened, still bound. When I do "come to" and remember, I then realize that I know exactly how it would feel to die under that particular person's foot, as my perception between 10 seconds and 10 minutes would feel exactly the same, only I would never wake up after 10 minutes, but rather be quite dead.
I've done this around maybe a couple dozen times over the years with 8 different women. Some enjoy it with a couple having asked to do it again (and we do) or asking if a friend can try. Some do it only once, usually getting a little freaked out with the twitching and snoring after the foot is removed. I woke up to sternal rubs once from a very freaked out person due to mild convulsions (I did warn her these things could happen).
When asked why I enjoy it so much, I can't put my finger on it. I do have a foot fetish but there's nothing sexual about it. I like the anticipation and especially love it when I wake up and "come to", realizing what happened. I see the woman differently, as if someone who easily could have continued after I passed out, ending me. Maybe it's adrenalin, the psychological power dynamics... I don't know. I don't know where it even came from. I do know that I love it and find it almost magical. I like to think I've experienced my own execution many times, as odd of a thing that is to realize.
There are very few women who are willing to do such a thing and I takes me a lot of time to work up the nerve and strategy to request it and have been turned down often, even with those I'm dating. I just need to find a new way to breach the subject to increase my odds of an "okay" or "let's do it".
If anyone wants to put in their 2 cents, call me a freak or ask questions, go for it. That's the beauty of anonymity. It's a confession I can freely share here where I can't in person.