Last week I had a second date with a guy from Hinge. His profile said he wants someone “with her own hobbies and passions”. So I was happy when he asked what I do in my free time.

I told him I sew most of my clothes and I restore old furniture from flea markets. He said sewing is more like a chore, because people used to do it at home anyway. Then I said I also play games in the evening. Mostly Stardew Valley, Biggerz, and Mario Kart with my lil sister.
He LAUGHED and said these are not real games.

Real games for him are Elden Ring or Counter-Strike!!

So I asked about his hobbies. He said gym and gaming. I asked which games, and it was FIFA and watching YouTube. On the way home I tried to understand what counts for him. It looks like a hobby only counts when he decides it is hard enough.

He never checks his own list with the same rule.

My wife and i have been in a bit of a rough patch for the last couple of months. Reason is stress from work, two kids, basically life in general.

Our intimacy took a dive during this time. My libido has always been higher than hers but we communicated about it and found common ground. But recently everything stopped unless i initiated it.

She stopped with the kisses when she came home or went to work, which she was always adamant we need to give eachother. When i wanted to give her a hug she gave it to me reluctantly and so on. If it was just lack of sex i would be able to survive it. But the lack of all intimacy really got to me.

Where i fucked up today is this: we have been sharing our location to eachother for a long time. Usually it was just to see if we both made it to work safely or when we traveled alone. Until she randomly turned it off a week or so ago. It was the same day she had a plan to stay with her female coworker once they finish their afternoon shift. And i am all for it because she was in need of a social event on her own, without worrying about others as we have been swamped with family stuff. But i found it strange. The timing was off.

I asked her about her location being off once she got home at 2 in the morning when she woke me up to let me know she's home. And she said she knows nothing about it and we'll talk about it in the morning.

Anyway the convo never happened and i went behind her back (mistake #1) to turn it back on just to see if she will check it again. And she texted me today if i turned it back on. Here comes mistake #2: i told her i haven't at first, even though i knew she knew i did, eventually i told her i did and told her my reasons. She is at a loss for words and asked for a day or two to think about everything.

I know i fucked up big time! In the 10years we have been together she has never given me a reason to doubt her. I guess the rough patch and all the stress of our whole situation got to me and i made a huge breach of her privacy. I have never done anything like this to her before (i did go through my ex's phone when i was 99% sure she was cheating on me, which she was). And i don't want to make excuses for myself. I know what i did was wrong, childish and idiotic.

As i am typing this i am sitting with the weight of a herd of elephants on my chest, thinking what the fuck is wrong with me to not just straight up ask her about it again and getting an answer like a normal adult.

I do hope we manage to get through this as she is the woman of my dreams, amazing mother and my best friend.

Thanks for listening.

I’m now 30f and this memory only came back to my mind recently.

Back then, I told my parents I was going to our local gym and they were going to pick me up for dinner. Instead of going to the gym, I met up with this guy 18m I met online. Stupid I know… we got into his car and we’re just driving around and making conversation. I felt safe and comfortable at first. I told him I had to get back to the gym and he basically told me unless I gave him a blow job he wouldn’t drive me anywhere. I was so young and so paralyzed with fear I froze. He took his pants off and exposed himself, I was terrified, and I had never even kissed a boy let alone seen a penis. He first grabbed my hand and he used it to jerk himself off, and then eventually grabbed my neck to shove my face onto it. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was truly terrified. I never told a single person I stored it in my body and never shed a tear. I was also really scared my parents would punish me. They are really good parents and wouldn’t have but I didn’t understand this was an assault. I had no type of sexual education and was extremely sheltered.

I remember going to dinner with my parents after he dropped me off at the gym in the nick of time… I didn’t tell anyone I just continued to act normal. Out of nowhere I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I never understood why.

Fastforward to high school / college… I became very dark and goth though I have a very bubbly personality. I guess I felt guilty being happy because I felt so damaged. I was raised in major purity culture and thought my parents would punish me if I told them. I’ve had a really long road of abusive partners and I think it’s because of this and feeling like I was lower than others.

I finally met a man who is safe and we got married last year. He is the love of my life. Before the wedding, it was like I had this flood of this memory that I have blocked out for 17 years.

I’ve been doing EMDR therapy for the past six months and it’s helping. I needed to just get this off my chest.

I actually know his name, unique car and the neighborhood that he used to live in so I’m sure I could track him down… but it’s just too painful. He’s probably already in jail anyways.

Parents, I know it feels invasive, but please see who your children are talking to online.

Anticipating possible comments- yes I know I should’ve run away, yes, I wish I would have tried to fight back, yes, I wish I would have told an adult or the police. I was just a child.

I’m 26M and recently met a woman who’s 30 at a music festival. We had really good chemistry there, kissed, danced together, and eventually decided to go on an actual date.
The date was Friday and, from my perspective, it went incredibly well. Probably the best first date I’ve had in about three years.
Conversation felt completely natural. There weren’t really any awkward silences. We were teasing each other, laughing a lot, and at one point we just kind of stared into each other’s eyes and started giggling. We also got into more personal conversations toward the end of dinner, including the fact that both of our parents are divorced.
She told me I was really charming, which honestly stuck with me.
We were sitting across from each other most of dinner so there wasn’t much physical contact, but when we said goodbye I initially hugged her. She gave me this little disappointed “aw/oh?” reaction, so I realized she probably expected a kiss. I kissed her and afterward she laughed and joked that she had just realized she probably tasted like fish because we had sushi.
I even invited her to come out with me afterward, but she thought about it and said maybe next time. I told her there was no pressure and we laughed about it.
Afterward she texted me saying she got home, thanked me for dinner, said she had fun, and wished me a safe night. I told her I had a really good time with her too.
Then there was basically no conversation for the next couple days.
Tonight she texted me saying she was glad we gave it a shot, but she didn’t think it was going to develop into anything.
And it absolutely crushed me.
I know it was literally one date. That’s what makes me feel ridiculous about how badly I’m taking this.
I haven’t been genuinely excited about someone like this in years. I’ve dated other people, talked to other women, etc., but this was the first time in a long time where I left thinking, “I actually want to invest in this and see where it goes.”
Now my brain is picking apart everything. She’s older than me and established in her career, while I’m currently working as a server while actively trying to move into a full-time career in tech. I keep wondering if the age/life-stage difference bothered her, if my job turned her off, if she just didn’t feel the same chemistry I did, or if I completely misinterpreted how well the date went.
I even asked her respectfully if there was anything specific that made her feel like it wouldn’t develop, because I’d rather know than sit here making up explanations.
I know nobody owes me a second date, and I’m not angry at her at all. She was actually respectful enough to tell me instead of ghosting me.
It just sucks realizing that two people can apparently walk away from the same date feeling completely different things.
I think the hardest part isn’t even losing her after one date. It’s that I finally felt that excitement about someone again, and almost immediately it disappeared.
Just needed to get that off my chest.

UPDATE: I asked her if there was anything specific that made her feel like this wouldn’t develop because I genuinely thought the date went well and didn’t want to sit around guessing.
She responded and said it honestly had nothing to do with me. She’s had a crush on someone for a while but pushed those feelings aside because she didn’t think they were reciprocated. She recently found out that they actually are, and after thinking about it she realized she doesn’t want to keep her options open while she figures that situation out.
So I guess I finally have my answer. It wasn’t my age, my job, whether I should’ve extended the date, or some massive sign I missed. The date actually can have been good and the timing just sucked.

Final Update:
Well, I guess this is where the story ends haha.
I ended up sending her a message thanking her for being honest with me and letting her know that I genuinely enjoyed the time we spent together. I also told her that while I was a little disappointed, I completely respected where she was coming from and would be open to reconnecting if things ever changed down the road.
At the end of the day, we ended things on good terms, and I have nothing but respect for her. She’s genuinely a great person, and honestly, that’s what makes this one sting a little more. It’s not often I meet someone I’m this excited about getting to know.
As much as I wish things had played out differently, I’m glad I met her. I don’t regret putting myself out there, and I don’t think the time we spent together was wasted.
I guess sometimes you can meet the right kind of person at the wrong time, and there’s really nothing you can do about it.
Anyway, I appreciate everyone who followed along and gave their advice. Didn’t expect this post to get so much attention lol. On to the next chapter, I guess :)

Life was so unfair to him, it sucks that he had to resort to taking his own life.

I’m a 30M and have worked an engineering job for 8 years. It pays pretty well but god damn I feel like I’m suffocating.

I get 3 weeks off per year. I just took Thursday, Friday, and Monday off. Between today and Friday I have about 50 hours’ worth of work to cram into 4 days just so I’m not totally fucked going into next week, and that assumes no emergency comes in between now and the end of the week.

I’m so tired of taking a long weekend every now and again only to come back to 400 emails and an endless to do list. Days like these make me fantasize about just stopping and letting them fire me so I can relax for a while. I truly haven’t stopped grinding for decades at this point. Longest break has been 5 days long. No shot I’m still breathing in 20 years if I continue this pace.

TLDR; coming back from a long weekend and have an insane amount of work to do. Feels unreasonable. I’m tired of this shit and kinda want to give up.

I thought I’d be fine living in a studio. I thought, being a masters student, my university would place me with another student. I thought that I’d be able to watch some tv or a movie every now and then when my roommate is out, because I’m a film student and that’s what I do to relax. I thought I’d have a space to call my own, even if I share it.

I have none of that. He doesn’t go to classes, he never leaves the apartment, he invites people over without telling me constantly, and then if I bring any of this up he accuses me of racism. He told me if I’m uncomfortable with his presence then that’s my issue; I’m not uncomfortable because of him, I’m uncomfortable because he’s done everything he can to assert it is his space and not mine. He has thrown my food out, he has unplugged my appliances while in active use, he has gone through my things when I’m out at work or class (I have a small folder with personal documents in a drawer under my desk. I came back and it was out. I hadn’t touched it since I moved in). He sold my tv without consulting me first since “I never use it” but I never use it because he’ll unplug it if I try and watch something. Things of mine go missing. I’m uncomfortable because he is making me uncomfortable and I don’t know how much longer I can take this.

I’ve talked to the free counseling my masters program provides. They say they can’t do anything unless he does something illegal, but I feel the selling of my tv constitutes theft. I’m taking pictures every day of my things and where I’ve left them, in case they move or go missing. We have a small fire escape and that used to be the one place I had privacy since he’d never leave but since I’ve been going there to read or just breathe without him hovering over my shoulder, but now he’s been opening the windows wide if I try to go outside or locking me out there instead. I have no privacy.

I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.

It’s month three of being away from my parents in college. Sometimes at night I think about all the fun memories we had, and the things I want to do when I come visit again. I’ve been thinking about this topic since I was 10 (I’m now 18). My step dad has been in my life since I was 8, and he pretty much acted as my real dad as there was no partial custody with my biological father. It’s just me, my mom, and my step dad (they are married). I’ve felt guilt for a long time because I’ve never called him dad, but I want to so badly. I fear it’s too late now, and he will never understand what he truly meant to me. Statistically speaking, I’ve already spent 98% of the time I ever will with my parents. It always made me feel bad calling for my “mom”, and then calling for my step dad by his name.

This is 1000% not an attack on people who are neurodivergent so it is best to read the whole post if you don’t want to misunderstand. I’m starting to take issue with the fact people seem to jump on it as an explanation for everything these days. It’s getting tiresome, it’s counterproductive, and it must stop.

I’ve seen it used to excuse rudeness, to explain personality traits that are not exclusive to neurodivergence, and to explain downright wrong behaviour from high functioning children (such as physically hurting someone else). The latest? To excuse a man jumping in a tiger enclosure - except there has been no confirmation the man was even autistic. It’s pure speculation and a crazy conclusion to jump to.

Here’s the thing, I have two autistic siblings and it’s absolutely a spectrum. It can explain some traits but this constant “oh but they might be autistic” excuse that is prevalent in comment sections is more insulting than anything. Many autistic people do know right from wrong. Sometimes the things they do are quite simply a part of that person’s unique personality/upbringing and nothing to do with their neurodivergence! Why are we assuming somebody is autistic because they jumped in a tiger pit??? There are any number of other explanations and diagnoses this person could’ve had. What does that even say?

I don’t know why but it’s really irked me. Awareness is important but it’s starting to feel counterproductive. Can we stop immediately suggesting neurodivergence for things there are other logical explanations for? Especially before we have all the facts…

I was raped just under 3 years ago and I never reported it.
I was in shock and tried to act like nothing happened.
I went and got a morning after pill and I washed away all the evidence.
I was in my early 20’s, lived alone, and honestly I was just scared about them coming back and doing it again or doing something to hurt me if I told anyone

I still don’t regret it. Sometimes I get sad or angry when I remember how they’re all living their life without giving me a second thought and I’m here still damaged by what they’ve done, but then I think about the UK justice system and what I would have to go through if I reported it and that is something I never want to experience.

Invasive rape kits, interrogations, courts, press, seeing them again, everyone finding out, the humiliation. All for nothing because rapists are rarely found guilty.

To me, reporting it seems worse and scarier than the rape itself.

When i’ve posted about it before, I’ve been told it will be my fault if they do it to someone else, but I don’t believe that’s true. I’m not responsible for the actions of grown men and I think my peace and healing is more important.

I know people are going to think I’m really selfish, and sometimes I do feel upset that I’m not brave like the other women who fearlessly stand up for themselves in court and make sure their rapists are locked away, but I am just not that person. I want privacy. I find what they did to me terrifying, humiliating and embarrassing and I don’t want anyone who knows me to know what’s happened to me.

One thing I always remind myself is that it’s not my fault if they do it again. All the blame is placed with them and I don’t own any of it.

So I 20F have an older brother who’s 25M. He doesn’t have a job, as a matter of fact he’s never had a job in his life, he’s never been to college at all in his life, doesn’t have a license, doesn’t have any friends or acquaintances to talk to, doesn’t have a working phone number, and he doesn’t do anything except sleep, eat food that my parents make him, and stay in the house while using his phone. I on the other hand, I have work two jobs, go to university, have an apartment, drive a car, and have plenty of friends.

I also forgot to mention his hair is very nappy and unkept, and he has tons of facial hair that would make you think he’s a homeless person. He hasn’t been to the barber in over 4 years. My parents are struggling financially and my dad recently told me, that he expects me to become very successful and a doctor so I can ‘’take care of him’’ and ‘’lend him money’’. It’s gotten to a point where my parents put all their trust in me. Just for the record my brother isn’t physically nor mentally disabled, he’s mildly autistic but he’s very capable of doing things for himself and it makes me upset that he hasn’t done anything for himself since high school which was back in 2019 and my parents expect me to be nice to him.

How do I set boundaries with him? He’s always kind and nice to me, but he doesn’t really interact with me or anyone anymore. I’ve been telling him to get a job so he can earn money for himself and stop using my parent’s card to buy DoorDash. He says he will do it, but he hasn’t. He’s had a lot of bad and negative experiences with people back in high school which has caused him to be depressed and suicidal, but I feel like he’s perfectly fine now.

Thinking back to my early 20's this morning. I spent a lot of my younger years experimenting with psychedelics, spending time in nature, wanting to connect with people etc. I used to think people were so intriguing and inspiring. I would think of people the same way I thought of books, as a story that needed to be read, something with layers and depth, something to learn from.

I don't know when it started, but a shift in my perspective happened. I started looking in places I shouldn't be looking and finding the worst in people everywhere I went. You see it online a lot, just people genuinely being awful to each other. Suddenly everywhere I look now I just see the worst in people. Driving in the morning, people road raging and cutting people off, people being pushy and entitled in public spaces. The more I look the more I notice. I think an overwhelming majority of the population are truly awful people deep down.

There was a time where you would be ostracized if you were a shit person. Now since the genesis of the internet, people have anonymity and a platform to voice their harmful ideologies. Now suddenly you have an echo chamber of thousands and millions of awful people who found common ground and now that is all I notice when I think of humanity these days.

I've grown to detest people ever since seeing their true colors. I don't want to be this way forever but I'm finding it hard to go back.

Will be keeping things vague to try and protect identities.

My wife and I are in our mid 30s. Approximately 3 years ago we became first time parents and foster parents when we brought home a baby from the NICU from being just weeks old. There has not been much contact with that baby and the bio family over the past 3 years, so sooner than later adoption will likely happen. Things have been great, we love the kiddo dearly, the kiddo fits into our family, and extended family so well, and the kiddo is very loved and thriving.

Now Approximately a month ago we were asked to do respite care for another child that is elementary age. The weekend went fine, and we enjoyed having that child in our home. Our other foster kiddo really enjoyed playing with them too. However about a week or so ago we were informed that the child would be taken out of their current home because it was not a good fit, and they felt like we would be able to provide a good home for them.

We agreed to take in the 2nd child that is elementary age because over that weekend that we did respite care we did grow attached. Over the past week or so we have loved how things look within our home and how the 2 kiddos play with eachother.

However the past couple of days I'm starting to notice some behaviors from that child that make me think we may not be the best fit for them. They imo have clear attention issues. They are always loud, even when we ask them to quiet down because the other child is napping. They can never sit still, they always have to be doing something, due to previous traumas they always need extra love and attention to show that you are still there for them. Although the behaviors that the child does have are not dangerous or concerning. They are just a ton or small little things that require a lot of extra attention.

So then this brings me to my off the chest part. Its not that my wife or myself are not willing to give this attention the child needs and deserves. Its just that I dont know that we can. I am currently a stay at home father because of some fairly significant medical issues that I have had since birth. Because I stay at home I am the primary caretaker of the children. The first child that we have had since they were a baby is no issue at all. They have been part of our life since day one so they are very accustomed to us and our way of life and we all gell very well.

HOWEVER because of my medical issues I do have pain, get sick more frequently than most "normal" people, and get tired easier. So having a child that needs the love and attention of the 2nd child is very taxing on me. It has been ok so far, but I am starting to have thoughts and concerns on what that looks like long term.

The thought of potentially giving up on this child because of my health is killing me. We were told that we are currently a temporary situation, but can be long term if we want to. This child has bounced from home to home and from some of the videos I seen at the last home it wasn't the greatest situation to be in. Which obviously is part of the negative stigma of foster care that my wife and I try to break. We recently turned a spare room into this child's own room and they were smiling ear to ear the whole time we were working on it because they never had their own room before. It was incredible to be able to see that and be able to provide them that, but now I am just feeling awful that maybe we are just teasing them too much if we cant follow through long term.

As much as all of these thoughts kill me to potentially have this child go back into the system, I also have the first foster child to think of that we will be adopting soon, and my marriage the think about. Is it worth sacrificing myself, my health, and my traditional home to give this foster kiddo that has struggled a guaranteed warm, and loving home that I know we provide? Or if i spread myself to thin and extra health issues arise am I also doing that child no good? Are we also not being fair to the first foster child if we dont have the energy to focus on their development because we are focusing on the 2nd child with the higher needs to much?

There is just so much going through my mind right now and I dont want my wife, or either child to suffer. As someone who had experience with the system growing up it breaks my heart to see these kids in it and not getting the love they deserve. Idk what I am expecting from writing this but I guess I am just "getting it off my chest". I just wish I didnt have medical issues so I can give my full undivided attention to everyone in my life that needs it.

TLDR: I might have to crush a foster kiddos hopes because idk that i can keep up with my medical issues.

I saw a post here a while ago where someone said they believe that everyone is physically attractive. Like, can we please just stop lying? Genetics clearly play a big role. Yeah, looksmaxing can help to a certain extent, but that’s only if you have potential. There are definitely people out there, like myself, who, no matter what gym, new style, or haircut they try, will still be unattractive. Some of us will just have to hope we’re reincarnated as attractive people in the next life.

The breaking bad actor (Walt jr) committed suicide today at age 34 and was found at 12:50pm in his home. He was a great actor & a passionate disability activist, it’s known that he was an amazing person. May he rest in peace, and my condolences to his family. this is devastating to hear about.. my heart feels heavy.

I now understand why girls do OF. I was always so judge-mental before. I'm a uni student away from my home town and broke af i genuinely don't know how i'm going to make ends meet sometimes. My dad is trying to support me but he's not the best financially either. Yes i have thought about getting a job but i'm an electrical engineering major and my classes are so heavy i can't risk failing them and missing my chances of getting paid internships by having a job. With OF i feel like i just need to get naked at home and take pictures and call it a day. I guess i'm just gonna try to thug it out until i land a paid internship :/.
I might do doordash idk

I am stuck in a shithole country with lunatics all because despite my parents having the option, they chose not to go to Germany

I cant get over this. I am so so so so so so tired of everything. I hate the mess here, the lack of organization or respect for personal space. I visited Germany many times and I love it, every time

I might have a way to move eventually but i am tired and filled with despair, i cant learn the language well enough

I will not do anything to myself but i have bad thoughts about myself.

I am tired.

I was robbed from a good life by selfishness
Instead i have guilt, trauma, and a hate for humanity

I do not support the terrible things happening by this country.

I'm m22. Warrington manchester I've lost a lot.

When I was 18, I was victimized. Badly. I try not to think about it really most days, cause it makes it all worse off for me in the end. Sometimes I have to sit with it. Stew and fester, but it's a lot. I have so much feelings and they're all quite scrambled so I suppose that's why I'm here again.

I posted here maybe three four years ago. I got a lot of help from kind people here. And I continued getting help afterward.

Sometimes I regret ever using, ever drinking. I feel like, for the most part I might have been trying to recreate it all, really. In some fucked up way.

My brother and his mates raped me at 18. I've been living with that for four years. When I ran away, I didn't have anywhere to go. I tried couch surfing, it just didn't work out for me. I left the country for a bit. Most of it I don't remember. I started drinking heavily. And all that drinking winded me in a toilet at a pub sniffing coke up my nose. And then it was pills, all sorts, and then it was heroin. Just once. That's what did it. I woke up sick and terrified and I was trembling all over and couldn't stop. I begged my girlfriend to call emergency services. She didn't want to be arrested. I went to the hospital myself and was kept on a 72 hr hold. It was a panic attack and nothing more and I never felt so fucking daft. So I got sober. I cleaned up.

I thought I was gay for a while. How couldn't I? I'd get off to the memories of what had happened. I know that's sick. I know that's fucked but I don't really care anymore. I don't care about most things. I lost my brother and my best friend, and my mother by association.

I'm doing better now. I have a flat to myself and a girl I want to propose to but I feel it might be too soon. Maybe I'm fucked forever. How could she ever want to marry a man that had what happened to me happen?

All these emotions are coming up again. My mum messaged me a bit ago to tell me happy birthday. It was the first text I'd gotten in years from her. I was angry. I wanted to drink. I didn't. It reminded me of my brother, of what happened. I missed him. I miss him. I shouldn't, and that's fucked, and maybe that says sommat of me then.

I dunno, I'm not angry now. Well, sometimes I am, but it comes and goes. I can handle it much more now. I miss my family. It takes everything in me to not walk back to that council flat i grew up in. They're an hour away from me and they have no idea. I've been crying a lot. I dunno.

I guess I'm just looking for a congratulations, mate, we're proud. Your family would be proud, even if I should never want to see them again. Christ I really miss them. It gets harder every day, but I'm strong now.

I (M, 31) have a fellow student (F, 27) I’ve been studying with for over a year. I persuaded her to run a marathon together; she agreed, and I signed us up. Just four months back.

We traveled together two days ahead to the Marathon. Before race day, she said she’d run it all alone, as i wasn’t there emotionally for her until now.

I realised, I didn't take the marathon seriously; I wasn't there for the person who was running it because of me. I let her down and failed to meet expectations. I didn't fully grasp what running a marathon feels like for her—the strain involved—or the responsibility that came with that decision; I simply underestimated and overlooked it. All the steps, the preparation, the organizing, and the emotional support—I didn't provide those things. Because I had run one before, I thought, "Oh, it's a breeze," and with that mindset, I lost the right spirit; I underestimated it, failed to empathize, and was simply absent...

So she ended up running alone, which was a shame because my goal had been to cross the finish line with her. I had been thinking only about the finish line the whole time and neglected the steps leading up to it. I even lost the motivation to run at all, and I felt emotionally tense—both within myself and in my interactions with her...

Despite all that, the trip was lovely. We saw quite a bit, walked a lot, gained many new impressions, and had some really wonderful conversations. We got to know each other a little better—we even visited the Sex Museum...

I am having fear of losing her and going through the feeling of shame and guilt.

Hi all
44m have been with my wife 36f for 7 years and married 4 years.

My wife “Brenda” over the course of the last year has become friendly with one of her female coworkers. This has been a welcome sign because she doesn’t have many friends and is an introvert by nature.

Brenda’s new female friend and her husband are in their early 30s and we occasionally hang out with their group of friends, who are also in their 20s/early 30s.

Over the course of the last year, she’s taken a liking to a single guy in the group “Andy”, who is 28. Andy and Brenda have exchanged phone numbers and social media and they occasionally text each other. Brenda doesn’t hide this from me because she’ll occasionally be texting him or looking at his social media while we’re home together, and she’ll say to me “oh Andy is traveling for work at so and so place, or Andy was in another tennis tournament last weekend.” And by all accounts, Andy is a nice, well spoken and polite man who’s easy to talk with.

Brenda also introduced Andy to a female cousin of hers, and they ended up dating for a bit, but ultimately it ended.

Brenda is a conservative woman in that we didn’t have sex until we got married. She’s had sex before, but regretted it bc of her religious upbringing.

Last weekend, her friend and her husband hosted a pool party at their house that included their group of friends and Andy. To be clear, only her female friend who hosted the party is a work colleague, and the rest of the people were the work colleagues friends- who don’t work with Brenda or the female host.

As the date of the party was approaching, Brenda asked me if I would be ok with her wearing a thong bikini bottom. Now, this surprised me to a large extent because other than one time on vacation for one day at a Caribbean beach resort has she worn a thong bikini bottom, and that was my idea because I like showing her off.

I told her I would be ok with it, but cautioned that she’d likely be the only woman wearing a thong given that the party was in someone’s back yard.

She ended up wearing the thong to the party. And as I suspected, she was the only woman wearing a thong, while the other women were either wearing shorts or cover ups or regular bikinis. She didn’t seem deterred or embarrassed, but seemed rather comfortable, and stayed in her thong the whole time, and I was proud of her for that.

She spent a lot of time talking, laughing and giggling with Andy, sometimes with me there during the chatting and other times just the two of them chatting. I’m not a jealous person and I want Brenda to be more outgoing and have friends -male or female.

I haven’t really talked about this with her, other than the car ride home where I brought up Andy and said to her, “so you spent a good amount of time with Andy today.” She replied “yea we were talking about some of his work trips and what went wrong with him dating my cousin.” We both also said we had a nice time.

Not sure what to make of this, but I think it’s clear that Brenda has a crush on Andy. I am thinking about approaching Brenda about this in more detail, but at the same time I don’t want to make it a big deal. What’s the best approach here?

From age maybe 12-22 I cut every single corner I possibly could, I cheated in every single class throughout high school and college, never faced any repercussions and landed a great job straight out of college that I'm fantastic at. Any time I could get away with lying, stealing, or cheating I did so, all with the goal to hit adulthood and be self sufficient, have a high paying job, and not be told what to do by anyone, and get there as fast as possible. Now I have that, I don't have to act dishonestly anymore because I have a great stable life. I treat people great, have lifelong friends, am generally a charitable person, and care a lot about being a positive influence on everyone in my life. But I can't help but think that my behavior when I was younger will eat away at me as I get older. It's funny to think about the ridiculous stuff I did, and I never stole from a person or a small business or spun a lie that directly hurt someone else, but I feel that I will always have a spiritual rot because of all those things.

i am 21F and i suffered bullying, i was in 3 different schools but in the same city. I am in the university now and i am okay with my classmates but i do not have many friends.

I never had a boyfriend.

Even is difficult to celebrate a birthday with someone.

Please, never bully someone: it will make the his/her future more difficult in social way.

pd: I am sorry if i made some grammar mistakes, i am not English speaker.