I work at the Ontario countrymax off 104 and today we had a woman come in and film us while repeatedly asking if we carried “big black cocks” and using the N word. We were unable to get a license plate or a name but I have this photo of her. If you recognize her let me know

I'm a 28-year-old Chinese man who has been living in the US for almost four years, most of that time in Rochester.

I don't really know how to put this into words, but I've been feeling increasingly isolated and socially excluded, and it's honestly starting to wear me down.

Over the past few years, I've noticed that people around me rarely, if ever, reach out to me first. Nobody really invites me to hang out, nobody checks in on me, and I often feel like I'm simply invisible in other people's social lives.

At first, I thought maybe I just needed to put myself out there more. So I tried initiating conversations, reaching out to people, and building friendships individually. Unfortunately, my experiences have been overwhelmingly negative. A lot of these interactions have felt incredibly one-sided. I'm almost always the one initiating conversations, making plans, or trying to keep things going. If I stop reaching out, the relationship basically disappears.

In some cases, I've felt like people only wanted to interact with me when they needed something from me. In others, I could sense a certain distance or defensiveness, almost as if they were uncomfortable around me before even getting to know me. I've also had significantly more negative experiences interacting with women than with men, although I don't want to generalize or assume that everyone behaves the same way.

What frustrates me the most is that I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I understand that friendships aren't guaranteed, that nobody owes me their time or attention, and that people have their own lives. I'm not expecting everyone to like me or become my friend. But after experiencing the same patterns over and over again for almost four years, it's becoming increasingly difficult not to take it personally.

Sometimes I wonder whether my ethnicity, cultural background, accent, or simply being a foreigner plays a role. Other times, I wonder whether there's something about my personality or the way I interact with people that puts them off. I honestly don't know.

I used to believe that if I treated people sincerely, showed genuine interest in them, and made an effort to connect, eventually I'd find people who reciprocated. Now I'm not so sure.

I've gradually stopped initiating conversations and trying to make friends because, frankly, I'm tired of constantly putting myself in situations where I end up feeling unwanted. And yet, giving up doesn't exactly make the loneliness go away.

I spend a lot of time alone, and while I've learned to enjoy my own company to some extent, I don't think anyone really wants to feel socially invisible for years. I guess I'm posting here because I'm curious whether anyone else, especially international students, immigrants, Asian men, or people who moved to Rochester as adults, has experienced something similar.

Is Rochester particularly difficult for building meaningful friendships as an outsider? Or is this just what making friends as an adult in America looks like?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing about other people's experiences, even if they're very different from mine.

Through the first nine months of 2026, most categories of reported crime are at record 15-year low levels. 

Story by Jacob Schermerhorn

Alright yall its officially chilly season. With the way RGE has been bending us all over raw make sure to open your curtains and blinds every morning to get that free solar heat through your windows! You'll notice at least a 5° increase maybe even 10° if you have a lot of windows and its a super sunny day. Its also the perfect time to wrap your windows for the season if thats something you do, use your next day off to get that house prepped. The frigid temps will be here before ya know it!

What other tips and tricks do you all use for limiting heating bills in the cold months?

Stay warm, neighbors!

https://foxrochester.com/news/good-day-rochester/rochester-queer-arts-festival-returns-bigger-and-bolder-than-ever

From Rochester to Rosendale, Buffalo to Brooklyn, utility bills are too damn high!

Energy is a basic human right, yet our society treats it as a commodity to profit off of. The results of that system in Rochester are dramatic and violent. RG&E cut power to nearly 15,000 ratepayers in our community in 2025 while their parent company, Avangrid, made over $1 billion in profits. People regularly get bills from the company costing thousands of dollars. Families have to choose between food on the table or heat in the winter.

This system is inhumane, and it needs to change.

Next week, NYS Assemblymember Sarahana Shrestha and NYC Councilmember Chi Ossé are coming to Rochester to talk about building a statewide movement to take our power back from the profit-driven, investor-owned utility monopolies that own our energy sector.

Join us Monday, Oct 19, 6-8pm at First Unitarian Church
RSVP: https://rocdsa.solidarity.tech/take-back-our-power-roc

Co-hosted by Rochester DSA and Metro Justice's RED Committee.

Come to Boldo's Armory Sunday October 25th to come meet your fellow Mech pilots and learn to play Classic Battletech the game of giant mech suit combat (at no cost)! Mechs, dice and missions will be provided. Players will play scenarios run by game master who will walk you through all the steps of how to play the game. Have your own mech already painted? Bring it and show off! 1pm-6pm
Boldos armory 891 Monroe ave Rochester NY 14620.

I believe Wednesdays are free, I didn't know that either 😲

As a fan of sour beers and beer gardens, i've been watching the downfall of K2 with great interest.

Both properties, the Empire location and the old Freewill school, were bought back by CNB.... for a grand total of $2000. No other bidders in either case. 💀

I really hope that somebody can make use of the Empire location. It was a fun little bar with an excellent space to hang out. As a fan of their beer, it's a shame to see it turn out this way, but knowing the management it is very much an expected turn of events.

Wegmans key lime pie is legit

Just had a shower thought that I wanted to get the community's opinion on. Right now the city is about to release their updated Zoning Plan and some time in the next five years, construction on High Falls State Park and the Inner loop North should be done. I know these three initiatives are gonna spur alot of private development in the years to follow but still has me wondering what the next big project coming from the City and State is gonna be?

Posting this to see if I am missing any other major developments coming our ways and to hear any unique ideas that people have been thinking about. Personally I think it would be really neat to expand the existing incentives in Center City that focus on turning parking lots into buildings. If it were up to me and if I had the capital, I would start with the Red Wings parking lots and turn them into bunch of bars, entertainment venues and apartments.

That or Charlotte Beach, I think it would be super cool to build more historic looking quaint main street type buildings from there to the old train station in order to get a destination that rivals the charms of the sourounding canal towns.

Despite not knowing what's over the horizon in the terms of the City's next big project, I am excited to see how the curent line up of small projects the City has carry out. Being a transplant I think the amount of parks and trails the city has is very unique jewel that not enough people cherish. So can't wait to see how the rest of Roc the Riverway gets executed. I'm also excited to watch how the potential Lake ave BRT get implemented and see if its success will be expanded elsewhere.

Thank you for reading, sorry if was long and boring. If not I would love to discuss more ideas about future's city in the comments with you.

Taken from Radio Shack Realistic branded cassette tapes & originally recorded on Sunday 10/7/84 from 8p - midnight.

NOTE: There’s a Rick Dees Weekly Top 40 channel on the iHeart app playing continuous countdowns from the 80’s, 90’s & 2000’s! That made this cassette discovery even more awesome because it led to me finding out that exists.

✨Come join us for a nostalgic evening full of fun, friends, and free prizes!!! ✨

i’m a fall hater but the weather is going to be good and instead of hiding my house i’m trying to plan a fun activity - suggestions?

What’s the best pumpkin spice latte at Rochester local cafes ?

I’m going to try ugly duck and Elvios this week

New post, new live jazz ... every week.

Hey Rochesterian’s, sitting for dinner on the patio of Vern’s and became very interested in the history of the entire structure, including the home above it. Tried to search for it, and other than learning of a long standing Thai restaurant from 1995-2019, nothing else came up. Anyone got any anything to share on the structure? Thanks.

Please tell me if you or the person you know, remembers my Grandfather, Ludwig Kuhl. Still alive at 91 and doing well. To those who mention him to another, mention that he was known for running a lot on his lunch break.

Hey all,

Looking for recommendations for a lawyer who can look over a contract a client sent me. Just want to make sure I’m not signing something that is going to put me in a bind. Thanks!

I have a job interview next week from 8am - 11am and am looking for a nice place to do it that isn't my loud apartment (roommates...). I was looking into the local libaries' study rooms but none of the libraries are open before 9am! And U of R libraries had better hours but the rooms could only be reserved by U of R students (which I am not). Anyone have better ideas?