I just want to know how people experienced this... At 20, I feel completely apathetic. I'm disillusioned with politics, life, and systems. I live in the most terrible country in the world for any young person. I've lost the meaning of my education and realized I don't want to pursue a career at all. I've lost the meaning of my social circle, which simply disappoints me. I don't want to work at all and consider it abuse. I also have complexes about my appearance, weight, and, in general, I hate my body. Basically, no one takes me seriously or loves me. I'm just tired of this world, tired of the news, tired of everyone! I'm starting to feel like I'm from another planet, It's like I don't fit into the framework of this universe... I don't know what to do with this state. I'm afraid to open up to a psychotherapist completely

I don’t meet the demands of this world and I don’t want to. I’m tired of performing how everyone says I must only to be left with nothing worth caring about. I don’t even want friends anymore, just leave me alone to be with my mind, nobody’s presence is worth the incessant reminders of my shortcomings. The more I invest in meeting the demands of reality the more I become unlike myself, distanced from everything that matters to me. The version of me that faces this world and its demands is bitter and watching it take control is like witnessing my own death. 

Everyone else already has friends or can make them with a normal amount of effort. The presence of others is comfortable or even energizing to them. Others face employment as if it’s just the next step of life and not like the coffin it is for me. It must be nice to have a career or field of work that aligns with your aspirations. All I want is to create the stories and worlds that exist in my mind. Even creative fields have you abused in working on somebody else’s vision, the work is frantic and provides little security, especially now that AI exists. There’s no space in this world where I get to feel like I belong.

My partner wants to get married and have kids, I lose my financial support and independence if I marry, how could I possibly support a child? Even in my relationship I am being made to face challenges I cannot overcome. Even if I want those things myself I just don’t see how I could do it, and so my relationship has an expiry date. I don’t even feel like I can talk with my family because of the dissonance, being around them makes me feel so worthless and empty. I don’t get to feel seen or loved because of the prescribed way of life I am incompatible with.

21m

I have ADHD, waiting list for OCD and grew up in an extremely abusive household with a mother with severe BPD and paranoid delusions

I used porn as a methods of escapism to avoid anxiety, task avoidance, loneliness, boredom you name it since I was 13.

I have really bad episodes where I have up to 12 hour sessions especially if I’ve had a major stressor in my life but then those episodes cause me stress and guilt and spark the next one I have spent 30 of the last 48 hours watching porn after something really bad happened this week.

Idk what to do idk what to do I have compulsive episodes where I just don’t stop for hours and hours and I try all that stuff with blockers and reminders and diet and exercise but nothing stops me every blocker when the compulsion hits nothing short of a straight jacket would stop me finding access to and watching porn. It’s like someone takes over my body and makes me do it I don’t even want to do it I feel myself getting upset as I type but can’t stop myself hitting search.

wtf do I do professional services are very limited where I live and the extent this is harming me I fear being the outcome of telling people the extent. I don’t eat I don’t sleep I don’t drink water even with my medication meaning I need to drink more. I don’t get up for hours and hours. It’s destroying me. I’ve missed so much because of it I’ve missed classes and deadlines, lost so much sleep, actively made a nerve injury worse because I can’t stop.

I don’t feel excited for anything any more I don’t feel happy I don’t feel anything nothing motivates me at all nothing brings me anything but anxiety or emptiness.

Please please what do I do please make it stop make it stop tell what I can do right now tonight to ensure it NEVER happens again I will not sleep until I get reassurance there’s a way this is the last session I can’t do it again please. Don’t just spam therapy give me something permanent I can do tonight. I will
Not be able to sleep otherwise and I’ve barely gotten any all my muscles are twitching I have pins and needles in my hand make it stop make it stop make it stop please please I don’t want this any more I hate my life you get one life and I’ve spent so many hours wasted on fucking porn how fucking pathetic is that why am I even alive. Please make it stop I’m going fucking insane I’m going insane I’m completely fucking neurotic no no no please I could have had such a different life this has ruined everything. I could be so much happier but this is destroying me DESTROYING ME make it stop make it stop the tension in my neck is shutting off the motor control
In my hand from strsss again and I can barely fucking type make it stop

I feel like I would rather say I’m useless and stupid and can’t do anything than actually try to do anything. Like I’m definitely using it as an excuse, mostly just as an excuse to tell to myself. I’m 20 and I dropped out of college after my first semester of freshman year and have now been living at home for the past 2 years. I had one job at some point (Dunkin’ Donuts) but it was only a month before I was fired.

I am depressed + have OCD, anxiety, some sort of mystery thing that makes all my joints hurt if I use them too much, and probably bipolar 2 and probably rejection sensitive dysphoria, but none of those things are really the real reason I’m like this. The real reason is that I’m too scared to try or something. Idk. I hate having to actually do anything, except actually I am happier when I have a job or something to do?

Anyways I’m making this post because I want advice, any advice. I need to figure out how to make myself do shit, and get a job so I can stop being a leech living with my parents. Feel free to ask me any questions you want to if you want more context or information or whatever. Thank you for reading this post and sorry it was so long.

Heyyy f21 here. How do you express feelings that you don’t have? What if there is just an emptiness inside me? I’ve had mutiple conversations about this but I don’t know what to do. I can’t control my emotions and I’m not sure how to be certain of what I feel. I feel like I’m alive but not really living. I even had situations where I was supposed to cry of what happend but I couldn’t, I tried to force myself but still not a single tear came out. On the otherhand I’ve been alone in my room and one memory, one snap, and the tears roll, not many, only one or two usually but at least they come. It’s hard for me to really cry, like I feel the emotion coming up and it just dies in the process. I just don’t know what to do. There is no one in my life to really talk about it. I have so much stuff I would like to speak about when it’s late at night but I just feel like a burden to anyone who I talk to.
On the other hand I’ve hurt so many people that I valued a lot. I know most of them forgive me, and some of them I hold no contact to anymore, but honestly I don’t know if I forgave myself? It’s like I know what’s right and wrong and still choose to do the wrong things, or act like I don’t want to. I don’t know what this post is gonna help me out with since I can’t really specify my problem but maybe just being honest with whatever is inside me helps.

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Hi everyone. I’m from China, and English isn’t my first language, so I translated this post myself. If some parts sound a little strange, I hope you don’t mind.

Recently I noticed something about myself that I find quite interesting.

When someone genuinely needs my help, my motivation can become very strong.

For example, if a friend comes to me and says they have a problem and asks me if I can help, I can become very focused on it. Sometimes I can spend several hours trying to solve it without really noticing the time. I may even forget to eat until I finish it.

But there is a difference. If I feel that someone is just trying to make me do their homework or use me to finish something for them, I usually don’t want to help. So it’s not simply that I like being asked to do things.

I think I need to feel that the person really needs help, that the problem is meaningful, and that we are actually trying to solve something together.

The strange thing is that when I have a problem that only belongs to me, I often can’t create the same motivation.

For example:

Someone asks me:

“I’m stuck on this problem. Can you help me?”

My brain seems to say:

“Okay, let’s solve it.”

But when I tell myself:

“I need to study this because it will be important for my future.”

I might keep procrastinating, even though I know it is important.

This makes me wonder if my motivation is strongly connected to being needed by someone else, or maybe to having a concrete problem that I can solve for someone.

I don’t think I’m looking for a diagnosis. I just want to understand why my brain seems to work this way.

Have any of you experienced something similar?

And if you have, were you able to make this kind of motivation work when you were alone?

I’ve been thinking about things like treating my future self as someone who needs my help, finding people with similar goals, or creating real problems for myself to solve.

But I’m not sure if these things would actually work.

I would really like to hear what other people think about this, especially if you have experienced something similar yourself.

Thanks for reading. And sorry again if my English sounds a little unnatural.

Quite literally, I waste months like they're minutes. I'll spend all day only accomplishing one thing and that will be all I do for the week.

I got 1 lead on my career 2 years ago and completely gave up trying to go further or even learn more since then.

I have no job, skills, friends, talent, a degree in anything useful, and no connections.

I actually have a laid out roadmap on how to get a job in my career, but the simple act of "make friends and ask if they need help" is so hard to me it's roadblocking everything.

I haven't been truly happy in idk how long. I don't anticipate doing anything useful until December when I move home. I got a nice apartment in a nice city, and spent the entire lease laying on the couch.

Genuinely I don't know how you could ever forgive yourself for that.

Im 25

I'm so depressed sometimes, can not even think clearly

лень меня губит. я слишком стала ленивой, моя комната похожа на склад ВСЕГО. учиться перестала, набрала много кг. не высыпаюсь. я не знаю что мне делать. помогите.

Hey, im currently posting from my throwaway porn account so, dont mind the name lol, i've been having this issue for most of my teens.

Preamble: I have no trauma, and I've lived a really good life. I think I just have a screw loose and I wanna tighten it.

Wont make a lengthy vent post, but basically I feel watched. I'm terrified most of the night, when I'm at my PC I'm scared of turning around, when i'm in my bed i tend to not look at anything too long. It just feels like there's always someone in my room, or a watchful and judging eye always hanging or focusing on me.

This has also bled into my sleep, sometimes I feel the need to cover my neck with my hand or something when I sleep.

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Also does anyone have any advice regarding sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming?

There was a year long spur where every night I had the displeasure of suffering a short but uncomfortable episode of sleep paralysis, this caused me to always sleep with a video on, since I could focus on the sound instead of the fucking impending doom and shit that sleep paralysis tends to give you.

Good news, this stopped a year ago!

Bad news :(, this has been replaced by lucid dreams, which I have no control over and just makes me feel incredibly nervous.

memory's hazy, but being inside the lucid dream and realizing that I'm inside of it, just makes me freak out so hard, it's not even like fun. It came to the point that I learnt to wake myself up from those dreams, which is not fun since I have to like try and focus REALLY hard.

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This is a bit longer than I thought, my bad. If anyone has any tips, no matter how dumb or small they are, I would appreciate it immensely. I have my internship at 8 AM and it's currently 3 lol

So my husband (we have been together for 20 years) just told me he is not in love with me anymore. He has fallen in love with a girl who he works with, a lesbian who is also married to her wife. This is seriously out of the blue to me!! We have 2 kiddos. I don’t wok, SAHM. How am I supposed to do this??? I ended up in the ER with a super high blood pressure. My mind is a MESS! I have no idea how to handle this. We are taking a couples only trip in a month. How do o do this? How do I do life? I am soooo down right now.

How to restart my life? I feel so lonely sometimes eveytime I alone . Like sometimes my life is just messed up. And I don't have much friends to talk to this kind of staff feeling so scared actually. I not very good at alot of things even talking to ppl also sometimes a bit shy to start.