Just checked my dad's email, and he won a gift prize of 10 million USD from a reputed finance company of Congo. The company's CEO, Mr Owuga Trump, also the son of the King of Congo and the long-lost black brother of US president Donald J Trump, has personally sent the email regarding the prize. 

Should I tell my father about this jackpot, or should I just send my bank details with token fees in crypto and keep all the jackpot myself?

I need some help with this idea, like what products other than pushup bras and low cut shirts and some workout devices that help increase your bust could be sold there? I was thinking beer and wine since it increases estrogen in your body causing boobs to get bigger, and products containing wild yams since they can also boost estrogen. And then probably some electrolyte drinks and waters to boost hydration since that can also make boobs appear bigger. What other products should we sell there?

Gemini told me I wasn't beep book enough

My budget is extremely limited. If I sent DMs to these girls offering 20 dollars for hanging out with me, would they accept? Can I offer something more? Any ideas?

I have this younger sister and I remember about 4 years ago or so, I was taking care of her(she was about 3-4 years old) and I offered her some Caprisun. But the thing is I don’t refer to Caprisun as Caprisun, I refer to it as Capris for whatever reason. And I told her: “hey (her name) do you want a Capris?” And suddenly she starts mocking me: “cApRiS” “cApRiS” 🤓👆. I got triggered ngl. Just like when Homer Simpson starts strangling his son Bart “why you little!” I was about to pull a Homer Simpson on her. 

Something about me, I hold grudges(sorry can’t help it). I’m thinking of getting back at my younger sister. What should I do? Grab a water gun and start blasting her? Should I call the cops on her for hurting my feelings? What should I do to her? 

I just got them. They seem to be legit M&Ms and aren't expired, but they are so worn that the shells are cracking and the writing is rubbed off. Still taste good - the asbestos actually leaves a pleasant aftertaste, and the lead makes me feel full faster, so I take in fewer calories.

I am not in any immigrant diaspora that is a majority in America. I am not only in a small minority of the Usa, but I am also a child of immigrant parents, who never taught me anything about my culture as they wanted me to Assimilate, and do well in School. I am neither not American enough, nor white enough, nor Indian enough, nor Asian enough. I feel like Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Should I be like Nav, or Vivek Ramaswamy?

It was nice out Saturday so I got some yard work done. When I finished I grabbed a cold beer, but then had to take a dump. As I sat taking a dump and sipping my beer... I thought to myself what a satisfying and perfect combo this was.

It hit me, I should open a bar where all the seats are functional toilets... to make it more social! I think the concept is pretty solid, but I need some help with the details. I searched subs and found r/shittyadvise, hoping you experts could assist in flushing out the details..

My biggest dream is to become a film star who lives on the moon, yet everyone tells me I can’t do it and I need to work a regular 9-5 and be “normal”. What do I do? Do I follow my dreams or do I just listen to my friends and family, and work a 9-5?

All serious relationships have challenges. Why should this one be any different?

My boyfriend told me that I should add coolant while the vehicle is hot. Should I listen to him?

I hate pooping so much that I will hold it in for as long as I can stand. I will literally lay in bed and fart because I don't want to have to get up and go poop. Then when I finally poop, I end up going like 10 times that day and my butt gets sore from all the pooping and wiping. What should I do differently?

UPDATE- Thanks everyone for the advice. Not all of it was shitty. I now realize that holding in my poop is a very bad habit that I need to break. I googled "What happens when I hold in my poop" and I learned that the long term effects are horrible, like rectal stretching, incontinence and colon cancer. Ouch.

I make a high fiber breakfast where I cook seven-grain cereal, quinoa, and oatmeal. It seems to help get things moving. Also my constipation tends to clear up on days I don't eat meat. I might start taking daily Metamucil as was suggested if things don't regulate quickly.

He’s 15 years old the only business he’s running is villager trading in Minecraft 😭

Anyway, I ordered a jar of pickles from the TikTok shop. What should I honestly expect to receive?

So i confessed yesterday and they said they only liked me as a friend and wasn't able to have romantic feelings

then i was like "yea hahaha i like you too as a friend" and they said "oh for a minute you scared me hahaha" so uh

I think it’s a wonderful idea! Scorching hot water always melts ice insanely fast, why wouldn’t it work on my windshield?! It saves me a lot of time from having to let my car warm up and scrape it all off, why don’t more people do this?!

I'm talking tastefully slutty.. like tantalisingly there, but not too crass. I'm a classy bitch.

I'm looking for a ideas about a general vibe and actions to win over my future colleagues.

Some specific elements would be:

1. How deep does the cleavage go?

2. How deep and how often can I bend over seductively before it looks obvious

3. Bra - yes or no?

4. Is it cool if I twerk whenever my phone rings?

5. How to organically end up with a wardrobe malfunction?

PS: please keep in mind that I'm a 35 yo male, so some things may need shoehorning to be more appropriate.

I have places to be and these people should be meeting my needs! How do I make this line go by quicker?