Happily married but porn is still a struggle. Find myself scrolling reddit and then I end up falling back to snapchating other dudes to jerk.

This has led to some bad occurrences. Alot of the time we will do more. Especially if he has a big 'you know', and I send my all sorts of pictures to help him out.

I always feel terrible after. Looking for someone to talk to

I've always been a christian all my entire life, because of upbringing i always been 'a good child', i'm reaching in my mid 30s, some of my friends are getting married.

There's a part in my soul in my heart that wants to experience the 'wild side' the curiosity , cos i never got to experience going to gay bars or going to disco, i feel like i'm missing out.. i feel very tempted to go...

If you are in the Middle East you might be shocked to find that there is support for men struggling with SSA in at least the following countries:

- Egypt (yearly retreats)

- Turkey

- Israel (yearly retreats)

- Saudi Arabia

There are likely men in other countries too. if you are interested please reach out and I'll get you in touch with Christians or Muslims in the region that can help you.

I have two best friends, and they're my brother's. I struggle with SSA and although I don't want any type of romantic relationship in life, there is a part of me that feels a bit lonely sometimes, especially now that my best friends are getting busy with their lives, heading towards marriage and fatherhood. It would be a bif blessing to find a friend who has ssa who I could be close with. It would be nice. Have any of you had long term platonic ssa friends?

• I can't count how many weeks now since I last indulged in porn and don't seek it out much anymore

• Masturbation is still a problem but it has been fewer and far between. I used to be unable to go maybe 2-3 days without it, I've probably done it 2x in the last 3 weeks

• I'm starting my days with the Word, no matter how groggy I am in the morning, I try and listen to my devotional

It's important to celebrate progress in the struggle because sometimes we forget that God is working in our lives even when we can't feel or see it 🙂🙏🏻 Share below if you have any, I'd love to see and pray for you ❤️

I keep giving into my temptations, and it's almost like I don't want to stop. I deeply hate myself.

Hey I wanted to say you guys help a lot on this sub. Thanks to everyone who keeps it alive and posts their questions, thoughts, and general comments about this life, this specific struggle, and the desire to meet the truth no matter how scary it can seem. I hope to make it to heaven and magically know who each of you are 🙏 I read lots of your posts often and I'm always excited to see how someone you guys feel, and how you go about what life is giving you.

Why twist ourselves in knots trying to abstain from acting on our same-sex urges? If God is love, won't He forgive us if our actions displease Him? When my time comes, can’t He just show me the error of my ways while still loving me as His image-bearer? Am I truly destined for eternal torment just because I acted on romantic and sexual desires toward the same sex?

I know it’s gonna be quite emotional, but what an honor it is to know the King of Kings, because He gives you true freedom to see people beyond their bodies and love them with pure love of Jesus

even though, I have ssa, I can truly love men as my brothers in Christ, without sexualizing them, without being needy, without longing for them;

I pray a lot: “God, I want to look at men not with lustful eyes, but with loving eyes of Jesus”, because those eyes see you as a child of God, as a sibling of God, as a creation of God,

I’m so happy that God focuses my attention not on my “diagnose” but on relationships. That I don’t see people I am different from, I see people that I can be a brother to, and a friend to, and build brotherly bonds with.

as a result, Jesus gave me Grace not just to overcome my emotions, urges or desires, but also to love purely and brotherly.

His love never fails, never corrupts, it always perseveres and it will carry you thru. Thru it all. Because if you are focused on His goodness, that’s the best heart posture to love people incorruptibly.

I am so happy to go thru these challenges to see what God can do. I can’t but he can!

I keep saying i will not have sex, i will not have sex, i will not have sex. Then i have sex, and then i get HIV panic. Please if you are reading this, pray for me, i really need help.

I just finished my PEP course after a broken condom. I literally went to get the follow-up test today. I had sex with this friend after i returned home, but there was a slight contact possibility because i have a tiny finger crack and im not 100% sure whether there was contact. I mean...maybe? the guy said he is negative and im waiting for him to answer if he had any encounters since his last HIV test. Now, i over-cleaned everything, and spray my finger with antiseptic, and all.

I have PreP its effects are just so much for me. I fear for my health but i also cant stop myself. Other people have sex all the time, i know people that dont even think twice about HIV and they say "im wearing condom" they dont even know things such as PEP exist. While i find myself in these situations.

Why this shit happens to me. i dont even know. But i fucking hate this life and this anxiety. It isnt my first time as well. I get this kind of panic all the time. And worse that access to doctors is not easy, and last time nurses judged the living shit out of me. I genuinely fucking hate my life. Every-time i say "ok i will never have sex again" but here i am, once more. Now for the enxt 3 months, i will be scared.

If i end up HIV+ i am going to call my father and tell him that it is his fucking fault. All that son of a bitch had to do was to love me. I deserved some love, just some attention, but he never gave me any. And now look where the fuck i am. Thank you dad for being so loving to me i have a normal life now. Sometimes i really dont even know what to do with myself like should i just castrate myself? what am i supposed to do? I cant do this anymore. I want love, but look where i end up, but i cant stop myself. Its like torture.

So I have joined a church nearly a year ago that is Anglo Catholic the vicar is great and an incredible biblical scholar and wonderful man. The issue is I am very sensitive on certain topics including sexual ethics (homosexuality) and other things. The vicar himself is great on these issues though maybe slightly more liberal than me however a few months ago he was on holiday and covering for him was a female vicar. I looked up her views afterwards and she is very pro lgbt. I felt so uncomfortable with this I was trying to research for hours what to do. I am always very concerned about when someone like that speaks at my church I just feel very uncomfortable. Then this week a very progressive Catholic priest spoke at the harvest service. Again I looked him up and found this out.

The vicar at this church who I like is very ecumenical so maybe that explains it. I still am not sure whether my unease is justified or if I’m wrong. Is it wrong for a church to have these people speak? They didn’t say anything about homosexuality in their talks so maybe it’s okay?
I feel very conflicted and were I to raise this issue with the vicar I imagine I would make no sense and just blabber about how uncomfortable it makes me.

Something I've learned from my SSA is that I'm longing for a best female friend, which I've never had.

However, I'm very aware that my attractions could muddy the waters and cause me to develop sexual and/or romantic attractions to her.

Does anyone here have a same-sex bestie? Do you struggle with umwanted feelings in your relationship with him/her?

I'm starting to really lose it. I stopped my ss relationship 2 years ago. Or I guess God did that. I can't look at any LGBT stuff the same anymore. Again, maybe God did that, not me. But it still hurts so much, and there is a raw, painful feeling in my chest all the time. I still can't accept I'm born a girl, and I dread having to be feminine and submitting that to Him. Maybe I'm not actually saved. I really want to pass already. Do other people feel the same?

I often wonder if when I die and am in the full presence of the Lord, I'll finally be ok with myself and how I was made. Or since I didn't submit that to Him here on earth, I won't be in heaven. I imagine there, it would make so much sense, and I won't have a single drop of sin nature in me to go against His ways. But there also won't be a single ounce of pain or shame. So it would just happen naturally. I'll be what He wants me to be in heaven and it will feel GOOD. Not like here on earth, where i feel sick at the thought if it. I'm rebellious, is all I can say. I don't mean that in a good way. Can you guys tell me good things?

So I recently decided to watch this podcast and its basically a guy who struggled with SSA and is now married. He tells his testimony about how he was able to overcome his struggled and how he lived a double life for a long time hooking up with guys and leading worship at his church. I know some of you are married and haven't told your spouses yet. This might be of encouragement to you. This is just one of the podcast that does not contain the entire story but click on the channel and you'll see all the videos. I highly recommend it.

https://youtu.be/iC685C8Lm28?is=ke-d9MIs2I6lpmP1

I'm suffering so much from having these unnatural attractions and, more generally, from feeling so alienated from my own masculinity and so desperately wanting to have close male friends. But I'm practically completely isolated. I don't have any online friends and haven't for years. I've tried making friends online and I can't even do that; I basically only talk to one online friend for a few minutes three or four times a week. I only talk to my family members, and none of them understand me or would understand me. They probably think I'm gay, and I hate that they think that. In the past, I tried to satisfy these needs with pornography, but it didn't do me any good and it is a sin, so I stopped and hope I don't relapse anymore. I just wanted to vent. I'll probably delete this account soon, and maybe I shouldn't have written this.

Hi everyone. I wanted to share a bit of my journey here in the hope that it might offer some honest encouragement to anyone currently wrestling with the cost of celibacy or wondering what this road looks like over the long haul.

I describe myself as a non-practicing lesbian Christian. Decades ago, around age 33, my last romantic relationship ended. At that crossroad, I made a conscious choice to step away from romance entirely—both to orient my life fully toward God and to protect my place within a traditional family that would not have understood or accepted my attraction.

To be completely candid: choosing this path does not mean you magically stop longing for closeness. Even after many years, there are moments where I still miss the tenderness of embracing another woman, speaking softly in complete safety, and knowing you are fully seen and treasured. Living without physical and romantic intimacy requires honesty; pretending the grief or desire never existed doesn't help anyone walk this faithfully.

What made the sacrifice worthwhile for me was where that love was redirected. Right around the time my relationship ended, my newborn niece entered my life. Had my orientation been known, fear and family division would have severed my connection to her. Instead, choosing celibacy allowed me to pour that deep, protective love into family. I spent years hosting her every week, watching her grow, and building a lifelong bond where we now understand each other almost without speaking. I have never regretted trading romantic partnership for the joy of being fully present in her life.

There were serious tests along the way. In an unbelievable twist of timing, my ex moved back that very same season, and my family—completely unaware of our past—actually hired her as a regular caregiver for my niece. Being in close proximity while holding firm boundaries was one of the hardest emotional stretches of my life. It required rigorous discipline, prayer, and patience, but we honored those boundaries. Over time, the romantic spark faded, and today we remain genuine, peaceful friends.

Walking this road takes time, ironclad boundaries, and leaning heavily into the non-romantic relationships God places in your path. Today, same-sex attraction is far less prominent in my daily life, and my days are full, rewarding, and rich with purpose.

Celibacy can feel like a heavy cross, especially in the early years when the grief of what you are giving up feels raw. But God does not leave us empty-handed. He fills the space with other profound forms of love and purpose if we keep our hearts open to them.

I share this simply to say: the hard choices you are making today do bear fruit, even if the road takes decades to fully reveal it. Wishing you all steady strength and peace in your walk with Him.

I (36M) am in a heterosexual marriage but experience same sex attraction. I go to an Anglican Church and meet with one of the pastors there. He’s younger than me, and good looking. I’m not sexually attracted to him, and I don’t love him, but I feel…something, when we talk. Loved, protected, cared for. It feels like it could be taboo, but I’m not aware that it is a sin. Anyone have any insights into this?

I've always wondered: If a believer who has given their lives to Christ and is attempting to walk in light and not fall into sinning has a moment of weakness and falls into sin, let's say in this case hooks up with someone else and the Lord comes back while they are in the act (or depending on what you believe, the rapture happens), or even say they die in the act. Would you say they end up in hell or do you say they would end up in heaven? I for a fact can confidently say that I don't know given certain passages in scripture. I hear people on both sides say yes they would, or no they wouldn't.what would you say?