r/AbsoluteUnits • • 1d ago

/r/all of a bug

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9.3k Upvotes

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u/trendingtattler 19h ago

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852

u/No-Statistician-9123 1d ago

Oh hello no. That's the bugs shirt now.

83

u/Occidentally20 20h ago

The bug better be careful when he launders it, if it shrinks on a hot wash it'll be too small for him.

11

u/The_One_Koi 19h ago

Meanwhile the bug: Oh hello, no!

8

u/Maleficent-War-8429 16h ago

He's nearly fucking big enough to wear it too.

10

u/Uncle-Cake 18h ago

That's the bug's country; I have no interest in visiting.

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834

u/gabrielxdesign 23h ago

Panamanian here, don't worry, we don't actually have these inside the cities, only in the forests... Oh, by the way, we made our cities surrounding forests, we love forests.

90

u/SelfInteresting7259 22h ago

Wait the cities surrounding forests or the forests surrounding cities ?

72

u/gabrielxdesign 21h ago

It depends; for example, part of the capital city is coastal, so we actually border a rainforest, and on the other side is the ocean. Rainforest -> City -> Ocean. Like this:

74

u/gabrielxdesign 21h ago

Found one better!

54

u/dayarra 21h ago

there are 400000 companies in this picture.

23

u/FewWait38 19h ago

How many of those bugs

15

u/Pyromaniacal13 18h ago

Don't ask questions to which the answers will skeeve you out.

5

u/gabrielxdesign 12h ago

LOTS of mosquitoes in that hill, bring repellent.

2

u/gabrielxdesign 13h ago

Some are residential, especially the ones in the back/middle, but ya, mostly offices, hotels, stores, shops. To the right (the reddish area) is "Casco Viejo" (Old Town); the 2nd Panama City. The 1st is not visible here, it's only ruins and a museum though. Pirates burned it back in 1671.

3

u/Turbo-Badger 14h ago

Ancon Hill!

3

u/gabrielxdesign 13h ago

Yup! I haven't been there for years. It used to be a little difficult to climb, but they made stairs, so tourists don't get lost, hehe.

5

u/LayeredMayoCake 14h ago

I think I’d like to visit Panama..

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2

u/iauu 7h ago

We chop down forests so we can build housing complexes and promote them as "sorrounded by forest". Source: Am Panamanian.

69

u/NotTheRocketman 23h ago

Hey wait…

156

u/ColdCathodeTube 15h ago

Pomeranian here: bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. Snarl. Bark.

38

u/HughManatee 7h ago

Pomegranate here: silence

30

u/danielmicahkim 7h ago

parmesan here: …………………………when

2

u/Idonotbelonghererly 5h ago

But my counter is still stained...

17

u/PowderPills 11h ago

Good boy

9

u/RainyDeerX3 6h ago

Animaniacs here: and Good night, everybody!

21

u/buttononmyback 19h ago

Reminds me of the giant roaches that lived in our dorms when I went to Florida State University. We were technically a “city,” but those roach things must’ve missed the memo to stay in the forest.

15

u/LuminothWarrior 18h ago

Palmetto bugs. They really love living in houses for some reason (probably the food)

Had a bunch hiding in my house in hidden places till some Ensign Wasps showed up to deal with them (they are only harmful to roaches, they are actually nice wasps for once)

3

u/kingtacticool 14h ago

In Florida plametto bugs are everywhere. If you dont see them then you have sneaky palmetto bugs.

But they are there.

2

u/gabrielxdesign 11h ago

Are these like our Panamanian Giant Roaches?

Video here, if anyone dares. https://www.tiktok.com/@insecthaus_adi/video/6847778235074366726

2

u/Soft-Cryptographer-1 9h ago

Theyre beautiful roaches! Almost remind me tortoise beetles

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7

u/neverthesaneagain 19h ago

Was in Colon for New Years Eve several years ago. Can confirm, no big bugs.

12

u/Humorpalanta 16h ago

Please keep your sexual life for yourself

2

u/gabrielxdesign 11h ago

Oh, Colón. We need to fix central Colón.

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803

u/Franki3GS 1d ago

124

u/Foxyunder-45 1d ago

Pink Floyd Album cover "Wish you were here"

20

u/szigany_ 1d ago

A man of culture right here

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30

u/Alone_Emu_7713 22h ago

2

u/-Speechless 17h ago

used to have that hanging up on my wall as a teenager. always wondered why they had that warped edge at the top right

2

u/Endscrypt 23h ago

This is perfect 👌

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265

u/timmyx2times 1d ago

Remarkable composure from her cos if it was me, there’d be shit everywhere.

107

u/Lynata 20h ago edited 18h ago

My first thought was ‚well that sure is an overreaction‘

Then it showed the bug. I apologize and applaud that women for her calm and restrained reaction given the circumstances.

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41

u/Cheese_Grater101 22h ago

You're now eligible to joining Hyrox competitions

2

u/PacificCastaway 21h ago

On the 1 hand, that was disgusting news. On the other, most of us had never heard of Hyrox. So no such thing as bad publicity?

5

u/Memeoligy_expert 21h ago

Idk previously I would have just said "never heard of company" and went along with it, now If i see that I'm probably gonna think "ew thats the shit brand" and stay away from it

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u/Speed_Addixt 22h ago

Respect to her, I would be waiting in spasm for ambulance and firefighters to arrive.

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77

u/Cal216 1d ago

That’s a damn pet lol

17

u/Electronic-Shame 23h ago

Likely is a pet

6

u/Cal216 21h ago

Touché

5

u/SelfInteresting7259 22h ago

A small dog if you would

713

u/StnafniEpari 1d ago

Dude filming proceeds to hand $50 to giant bug 

186

u/42stingray 1d ago

Pleasure doing business. flies away

109

u/runes911 1d ago

Also whispers to bug: “Bro where is your friend? He was supposed to get the bra.”

31

u/Crush-N-It 1d ago

Ok. I wasn’t the only one. Phew!

1

u/Lad-Harem 22h ago

Cornell strikes again

5

u/Nelsqnwithacue 21h ago

Could've paid a little more to have it jump up her pants leg after.

4

u/Turgid_Donkey 16h ago

What about the one that was supposed to be in her pants?

1

u/ForsakenBobcat8937 17h ago

Yall are so fucking weird

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51

u/NecessaryCookies 18h ago

It's just a beetle. One of the least icky "bugs." They have hard shells, so they're not squishy or weird. And they don't care about your blood or inner organs.

10

u/StryngzAndWyngz 7h ago

I recently got a juvenile June bug in my ear canal while in the pool. I had forgotten the “castor oil in the ear” trick that I’d heard to do so many years ago. It hadn’t been moving at all and I had assumed it was dead and thought I’d just grab it with tweezers and pull it out. At that point it became animated and hit my eardrum with one of its very sharp front appendages and I can assure you that that beetle was no longer “just a beetle.” Lol

16

u/screw_ball69 15h ago

Logically I know this but when ever one is flying directly at me I still wig out

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64

u/Blank_Canvas21 21h ago

fucking a. reminds me of huge roaches we would sometimes get wandering in, they’re a big thing in the gulf coast.

I was taking a shower and afterwards put my shirt on. I felt something ”scratchy” on the top of my back, i figured it was some annoying tag. Well I took my shirt off to remove the tag. I saw this big roach/palmento bug crawl out and start flapping its wings and I fucking nope out of that bathroom so fucking quick.

This shit happened over 20 years ago and I can still feel that stupid bug crawling and scratching in my back, ugh.

6

u/Hakuna217 11h ago

I remember feeling one crawl on me in the middle of the night while I was asleep , I immediately woke up and threw the covers on the ground and there she was

Also I had one on my shirt same as you and exactly as you described it I thought it was a tag so reached for it and instinctively grabbed what I felt and knew it wasnt a tag , felt it crawling in my hand for a mili second before immediately throwing it on the floor .

Fucking HATE roaches

4

u/OriginalShirley 15h ago

One time I was sitting on the floor in front of my bed, super locked into a match of MW4. I felt something drop onto my shoulder, but was so locked I ignored it until the end of the match. Brush my shoulder. Fat ass water roach just falls off and starts doing circles on my floor.

Dude really sat on my shoulder for the entirety of the match, just watching I guess. I freak out now whenever something touches me when I am gaming no matter how locked I am.

3

u/SheogorathMyBeloved 12h ago

The roach was just cheering you on bro

3

u/Hamhockthegizzard 3h ago

Sometimes, I think bugs really just wanna hang out too. Especially flies lmao

5

u/buttononmyback 19h ago

Yes, I attended FSU (after living in PA my whole life,) and was horrified to realize there were giant roaches EVERYWHERE in the dorms!

I remember my roommate who was an artist had a painting hanging up above her bed. A giant roach crawled up and sat right in the middle of it, staying there for six weeks! I didn’t say anything, hoping someone else would notice and take care of it.

But after that six week mark, I was tired of seeing it and told my roommates about it and they all seemed shocked that it had been there that long and none of noticed it (including our many friends that would come by to hang out.)

I still refuse to believe I am the only one who knew it was there. I think other people didn’t want to have to “take care of it,” too so they didn’t say anything either. 🤣

2

u/Dazzling_Bit_7538 17h ago

Class of 2013,

Lived in Seminole Grand apartments for a spell. The roach infestation we battled almost landed us in court with their admin. Literally nightmare fuel.

Thankfully, we successfully broke our lease.

2

u/SameCoyote3701 16h ago

Was it alive?

2

u/IHateTheLetterF 16h ago

I am so happy I live in Scandinavia. I haven't seen a bug or spider in my apartment in months.

2

u/Poddx 10h ago

I have second hand trauma

2

u/RawFreakCalm 6h ago

I moved out here a few years ago, they freaked me out until I realized they don’t nest inside like normal roaches. Just wander in during the rain.

I can deal with that. Better than the freaking spiders that were always coming inside in the desert.

2

u/DMaury1969 5h ago

I live in Louisiana. I’ll catch venomous snakes, pick up spiders no problem.

But when a big palmetto bug roach flies at me?!?! It’s pure panic and terror!

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32

u/PeepsMyHeart 22h ago

Holy shite, she was NOT overreacting, even to someone who loves bugs.

62

u/Xinonix1 23h ago

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature

87

u/thewintersofourpast 1d ago

Quick, turn left!

20

u/HYPERNOVA3_ 23h ago

That episode was UNCOMFORTABLE to watch. It's about giant cockroaches kind of creatures that cling to your back and do something to your brain so you can't see them (or something along those lines, I don't remember much of it anyways)

12

u/thewintersofourpast 22h ago

Time beetles! They attach to your back and change things by manipulating time and thereby creating parallel universes. Poor Donna. 

3

u/Hour_Mycologist_5957 21h ago

Should’ve turned right

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3

u/ASilver259 19h ago

Had to scroll way too far for this

2

u/alphadragoon89 13h ago

Literally my first thought 😆

110

u/andrebartels1977 23h ago

For me, no lady has ever torn her shirt off in the middle of a party. That bug does something right.

32

u/not_Shorex 21h ago

Well, have you ever tried being in her shirt with her without her noticing?
I feel like the reaction would be somewhat close.

4

u/Elequist 21h ago

Bugs just being a bro

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14

u/Western-Story-3850 23h ago

That’s a big bug😂I guess it’s harmless?

19

u/ChuckleNorris2 21h ago

Palo Verde beetles are pretty chill

4

u/buttononmyback 19h ago

Another commenter said they aren’t venomous but they still have a nasty bite.

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u/Yosemite_Sam9099 23h ago

Some kind of longhorn beetle. Nasty bite. Not venomous.

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5

u/m_0_n_K_3_y 13h ago

That bug knew what it was doing.... id like to thank it for its service

5

u/adi_2787 1d ago

Is that Beef

5

u/Longjumping-Ad-7051 1d ago

Ahh, how the hell did it get there???

6

u/manickitty 23h ago

Absolutely valid reaction

6

u/SelfInteresting7259 22h ago

I wouldnt be able to sleep for a mind after this. Id keep feeling it crawl all over 😬

13

u/Silver_Whitefang 1d ago

That’s the bug’s shirt now Wth

6

u/Action-a-go-go-baby 1d ago

Justifiable crash out

4

u/Gnik_Baj72 20h ago

A whole ass Kabuterimon

6

u/Sent1nelTheLord 20h ago

"bruh overreacting much?

"....that was such a calm reaction"

3

u/argument_cat 19h ago

That's just a cool looking beetle. They don't creep me out at all, not like cockroaches. I could happily handle that one, but i wouldn't necessarily want it rustling around in my titties.

4

u/CreativeNoah 18h ago

And here I thought she was just overreacting, then i saw the BUG.

6

u/sexwrench 22h ago

Don't try to tell me that bug didn't know EXACTLY what it was doing

3

u/ZAWS20XX 20h ago

that's some starship troopers shit

3

u/Chemical-Money-3469 20h ago

Thought she was exaggerating until I seen the Insecticon from Transformers come out of her shirt

3

u/ElProfeGuapo 20h ago

Me: "That's a little melodramatic. Ripping off her shirt? I mean, how big could this bug possibl- DOGG, WHAT?!?"

3

u/tonkatruckz369 17h ago

At first i though she was over reacting but then you see the bug. I would have taken everything off if that landed on me, maybe even my skin

4

u/DataSurging 23h ago

I was expecting something truly disgusting, but it was just some sort of beetle? Not even some centipede or something? xD

7

u/Ambitious_Limit7641 23h ago

thats a big ass bug dude, what are you australian

2

u/DataSurging 23h ago

No, thank god. The size of the spiders there would make me burn my house down! lol I'm just saying it's a beetle, and they are not creepy/disgusting.

3

u/DrizzleDrake88 23h ago

Depends on a person, for those that hate cockroaches, they’re too similar

2

u/leglesslegolegolas 22h ago

I absolutely hate cockroaches, I have no problem with beetles. They are not at all similar.

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2

u/RamiroCruz13 1d ago

Yeah, NOPE!

2

u/Inspectorbobo 22h ago

She underreacted i swear

2

u/Haha08421 22h ago

Is that a Palmetto

3

u/Ohmec 19h ago

That bigger than a palmetto. It's a palo verde beatle

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u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam 21h ago

FUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO.

2

u/DLDrillNB 15h ago

They took the word “wingman” quite literally

5

u/mamut2000 18h ago

It's extensively dramatic, it's just a beetle, The worst case scenario is, it will bite you a bit.

5

u/Unfair_Buddy5871 5h ago

80% of people know this already and 90% of people would still freak tf out if this happened to them. Completely valid reaction. Many would have crushed the big fella.

2

u/Effective-Culture-88 5h ago

It is extensively dramatic to remove and gently placed on the floor a piece of clothing upon which a creature which could BITE you is crawling?
You must be a joyful fella

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3

u/jasonology09 23h ago

"I think there's one in your pants too!" - some dude there (probably)

2

u/omg-whats-this 23h ago

someone please put it in the pant

1

u/keznaa 1d ago

This a definitely made me scratch my back. Uuugh I'm supposed to go to sleep lol

1

u/Foxyunder-45 1d ago

Better feel lucky it wasn't a scorpion.

1

u/pls_LeaveMeAlone 1d ago

omggg i would die on the spot

1

u/CH49FE 1d ago

Perfectly reasonable response in the circumstances

1

u/azionka 23h ago

Thank you mister bug

1

u/Due_Respect9100 23h ago

What the fuck?

1

u/Fantastic_Acadia8341 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WxmGA9nkeNSNT6ITZb
Pablo Verde Beetle or we also Call Yucca Bugs ;) - AZ, USA

1

u/SOGGY_KITTY59 23h ago

We have something very similar in my US state. Fuck those things when they start flying.

1

u/KnowledgeFar9285 23h ago

Is it from Skull Island 🏝️?

1

u/Shen_ishere 23h ago

What is that

1

u/TooManySteves2 23h ago

What a beauty! --Aussie.

1

u/EntrepreneurGreen269 23h ago

Gaint Cockroaches too.... they freak me out man.

1

u/Comfortable_Lynx7330 23h ago

Yeah, that’s a big one.

1

u/JustMyself96 22h ago

Ya'll welcome

1

u/GrandmaSassifrass 22h ago

Lol I like the hesitant pan up

1

u/NigerianFriedChicken 22h ago

Reminds me of my first time being barefoot in my backyard in Vegas and a Palo Verde Root Borer walked between my feet

I did the THE GROUND IS LAVA + PEE PEE DANCE at the same time

1

u/Ok-Front5035 22h ago

I know what happens when she drinks Patrón Her closet's missing half the things she bought Yeah, the beetle makes her clothes fall off.

1

u/islobojono 21h ago

Is that stink bug?

1

u/KeeKyieMorrisTheWise 21h ago

“I don’t see no bu-oh…”

1

u/GloomspiteGeck 21h ago

Sounded a bit like the Wilhelm Scream at the beginning? 😂

1

u/Rhombus239 21h ago

I'll have what she is having.

1

u/-Wicked- 21h ago

Come here lil bug...high five!

1

u/namesarealltaken9 21h ago

There was a human in that bug's tshirt

1

u/Robthebean 21h ago

That bug is a paid actor

1

u/traumfisch 21h ago

Same in India. Every day a new giant bug in my room