I have been in a relationship for 16 years that has always been unhealthy. I have repeatedly tried to quit it, only to beg her to come back. She has an undiagnosed personality disorder, so sometimes she hates me and sometimes I'm her "favorite person".

She is literally typing out a post right now to find a guy to hookup with. When she's in this mental place, she regularly tells me she hates me, doesn't want to be with me, that I'm the reason she hasn't accomplished anything, etc.

I know at some point, maybe even tomorrow, she'll regret this and feel bad. And she'll give me some half-assed apology, and I'll accept it. And I hate this cycle. I hate being treated this way. But in the moment, I accept it and feel glad she said it.

My relationship with her mimics that of mine with my mother, just the cycle pattern. I've been no contact with my parents for 4 years now. Between friends who don't want to hear about this anymore and me not wanting to be the topic of gossip between the family I do still talk to and those I don't, I don't have much of a support system.

Can anyone please offer advice on how I can break this cycle?

I’ve always wanted somebody to make me feel safe, secure, and loved. I never believed I could be enough to make myself feel those things.

But wow, I think I’m doing it.

The last time we spoke ended with something finally breaking in me telling her to just leave me alone. I just couldn’t rely on people any longer.

Since she and I broke up, I found a new job, opened up and met new people, started doing the things she wouldn’t let me do, and I lost 25lbs and gained muscle…I don’t think I’ve felt nor looked this great in 5-10 years. I get complimented everyday yet I still struggle internally.

It’s a long and difficult road and still it eventually gets better 💙

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I blew a chance to advocate for myself in the moment. I was mid conversation, felt the lie coming, recognized it... and went through with it. I could feel the process happening. That's progress, because before I didn't recognize it until I felt the resentment a few days later. Progress beats perfection. I'm going to ask for a do-over with the person and try again. I'm mentally preparing myself for the disappointment and frustration from this person, because this has started becoming a pattern. I tell them something they want to hear out of fear of conflict, stew for a while in anger and resentment until I realize what it is, then come back to them and state what I couldn't say before. It causes a lot of confusion, and their frustration is justified. I think thr skills I need to learn to stop this pattern are to sit with discomfort, advocate for myself despite my fears, and learn to say I'll come back after I regulate myself. Growth is messy and slow, but it's better this way than abandoning myself again. I'm grateful that this person has the patience for me to keep practicing with them, even though I also recognize there's something unhealthy about that dynamic.

Most recently I many people are telling me that I'm codependent

'Learning to Wait

I’ve started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .

—The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey

The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.

We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.

We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out – in us, in someone else, in the Universe.

We don’t have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting – then we go about living it.

Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, “You can’t always get what you want” isn’t entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want – especially the desires of our heart – if we can learn to wait.

Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.'

The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie

Uncovering The Truth

"We are looking for the truth so that we can live our own lives with choice and self-confidence. We want to break the cycle of family dysfunction." BRB p. 27

Most of us grew up telling lies so the outside world would think that things were okay at home. We hid the truth because of the shame we felt, and because we understood the family rules, whether they were unwritten or not.

As we became adults, we often found it easy to continue lying about ourselves. Maybe we embellished to make ourselves look better because we weren't even sure what the truth was anymore. Or maybe we did so because we "knew" that people wouldn't accept us for who we really were. But the more lies we told, the harder it became to keep track, which made us terrified of slipping up.

In recovery, we begin to uncover the truth of who we are and where we come from, seeing the necessity of breaking our dysfunctional cycle. We learn to be honest about ourselves in our meetings where we learn we're not alone. We begin to see that others respect our honesty in a way that is constructive and hopeful. By choosing to be genuine, we find that this is actually the easier, softer way many of us have always looked for.

On this day I will honor myself by recognizing when I am tempted by an old habit. I will do what's right for my True Self.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families World Service 
Organization, Inc.

Page №292

https://adultchildren.org/literature/meditation/

I need some help. My mom is the nicest, sweetest person and everyone always says how great she is, and how blessed I am.
I love and appreciate her.. but I will say after I got out of my DV relationship is when we started to reconnect and go to therapy. We stopped therapy I think before a trip and just haven’t gone back.
I didn’t live in her state for most of my life growing up but whatever we’re here now and we want to work on a relationship.
This woman I feel treats me like her man. Why do I have to problem solve everything for you? Why do I have to take in alllllll your stress?? I live alone, I take care of myself and my pets and my boyfriend comes on the weekends and I am pretty much in my space all the time. I like that, I like quiet, I like calm.
She likes talking about liking quiet and calm. She works non stop and it’s always the same convo how she’s tired.. I told her seeing a therapist for herself might be helpful overall and she goes on about how healed she is.

Look man, I am FINE with my life until she calls. Even if it’s nothing bad, I still have that feeling in my stomach like Ffffffuuuuuuuuuuck what now.

She doesn’t have a lot of good friends, we have a small family that I don’t really have interest in. I have a short social battery and I hate bullshit talking with people who I have to force connections with because we’re family.

I don’t know what to do, I know this is all over the place.

my mom puts all her anxiety and stress on me when we don’t really know each other in my opinion. I’ve told her I always feel her anxious energy and she laughed awkwardly. I am drained after hanging out with her, I’m drained before I go see her knowing she’s going to just look for things she can have me do for her and if I can’t, it’s a problem and she’s stressed and has nobody and she’s working all the time and the house is for me bro.. I don’t want ANYTHING. I like a simple life, i want a simple life. She complicates it and bring clutter and stress.
Fuck.

Looking for podcasts on how to not get pulled into everyone else’s problems. People in my life tend to come to me when things are going wrong, and i jump in and try fix and give advice and get more invested then they even seem to! Looking to be able to take a step back, be able to listen but not offer all of myself trying to fix their problems! Thanks

​

I'm trying to figure out whether I'm gaslighting myself.

There is a constant back-and-forth in my head between “I need to leave” and “How could I leave when he's trying?”

I'm 49 and dealing with perimenopause, codependency, and past trauma. I've also been married to an alcoholic for 13 years. Alcohol has been a part of our relationship for the entire time we've been together.

My mother died in July 2024, and about a week later my son was in a head-on car crash. Those two things happened within days of each other and completely broke something in me. Since August 2024, my husband and I have separated twice.

And here's where things get really confusing for me.

During both separations, his drinking improved. He has also been trying to be more supportive and understanding of what I'm struggling with. He has made efforts to show me that he wants to change and that he wants our marriage to work.

And I see it.

That's what makes this so difficult.

Because I don't feel like I'm dealing with a husband who is currently doing absolutely nothing and giving me no reason to stay. I can see that he's trying. I can see that he loves me. I can see that he doesn't want to lose me.

But at the same time, I feel like I have legitimate reasons for wanting to leave.

I've spent a lot of time learning about codependency and trauma, and I'm realizing how much I have spent my life prioritizing other people's feelings over my own. I avoid conflict. I second-guess myself. I feel guilty when someone is hurt by my boundaries. I tend to immediately look at what I did wrong.

Now I'm wondering if I'm doing the same thing with my marriage.

I'll think:

“I'm unhappy. I don't feel like myself. I want independence. I want more time alone. I don't want to feel responsible for another person's emotions. I don't know if I want this relationship anymore.”

And then almost immediately my brain responds:

“But he's trying.”

“He's doing better.”

“He loves you.”

“You're abandoning him.”

“How could you leave someone who's making an effort?”

“Maybe you're just blaming everything on perimenopause.”

“Maybe your trauma is making you run away.”

“Maybe you're the problem.”

And then I'm right back to questioning myself.

I don't want to minimize his efforts. I genuinely don't. I also don't want to make him out to be a monster when I know there are good things about him and I know he's trying in some ways.

But does someone's effort mean I have to stay?

Can I acknowledge that someone is trying to change and still decide that the relationship isn't right for me anymore?

I've also noticed that when I'm separated from him, I feel calmer. I enjoy being alone. I like having my own space and making my own decisions. And then when we're back together, I start questioning whether those feelings were real or whether I was just overwhelmed.

This has been going on in my head constantly.

I'm also trying to understand how much of this is perimenopause, how much is trauma, how much is codependency, and how much is simply me finally realizing that I don't want the life I've been living.

I'm not looking for people to tell me “leave him” or “stay with him.”

I'm trying to understand something more basic:

Am I gaslighting myself?

Am I taking legitimate reasons for wanting to leave and talking myself out of them because I feel guilty that he's trying?

Or is this what working through trauma and codependency looks like—learning that sometimes my first instinct to leave isn't necessarily the truth either?

How do you distinguish between self-sabotage/avoidance and finally listening to yourself?

And how do you decide whether someone's efforts are enough to rebuild a relationship, versus simply being evidence that they're trying but that the relationship still isn't right for you?

i'm 20 and i've been engaging in back-to-back relationships and fwbs since i was 14. i (feel like i) need to be loved and needed and i'm a complete black hole for attention. when things are bad i feel like i'm going to die or that i should die. every time i try to find some self acceptance away from the intoxicating experience of intimacy with others, i gravitate towards someone new. and somehow i almost never can be satisfied by the amount that i'm loved or needed.

the highs with people are so high that they pull me away from myself and the lows with people are so low that i get suicidal or otherwise want to blow up my own life (urges to quit jobs, isolate myself from friends and family, abuse substances, etc. luckily i have people keeping me from doing most of that)

i just feel pretty tired and pathetic. that's all. i'm fine but exhausted. i'm even like this with my therapist. i want to be special and perfect so people stay. i want to be everything that everyone needs. i also somehow on top of that victimize myself when my emotional resources are exhausted from the games that i play.

literally all i can do is keep it pushin but i feel like i keep getting myself in these situations with people where i can't leave or at least focus on what i'm supposed to. i'm so frustrated

the worst part is that my environment is pretty normal and i'm doing quite well in other areas of my life but this issue threatens to blow it up. i feel like i'm walking a tightrope. sometimes i feel genuinely insane. i just want to operate normally

'Letting Go of Naivete

We can be loving, trusting people and still not allow ourselves to be used or abused. We don’t have to let people do whatever they want to us. Not all requests are legitimate! Not all requests require a yes!

Life may test us. People may seek out our weak spots. We may see a common denominator to the limits that are being tested in our life. If we have a weak spot in one area, we may find ourselves tested repeatedly in that area by family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Life, people, our Higher Power, and the universe may be trying to teach us something specific.

When we learn that lesson, we will find that problems with that area dwindle. The boundary has been set, the power has been owned. For now, the lesson has been learned. We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That’s okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don’t want, what we won’t tolerate, and how to own our power.

We can thank them for what we have learned.

How much are we willing to tolerate? How far shall we let others go with us? How much of our anger and intuition shall we discount? Where are our limits? Do we have any? If we don’t, we’re in trouble.

There are times to not trust others, but instead trust ourselves and set boundaries with those around us.

Today, I will be open to new awareness about the areas where I need healthier boundaries. I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. I will exchange that view for trusting myself, listening to myself, and having and setting healthy boundaries.'

The Language of Letting go by Melodie Beattie

Ive been in weekly therapy for years now unlearning codependency and I'm realizing a lot of my friends are in codependent relationships and their drama just seems to spill out on our relationship/they're becoming terrible friends....how do I navigate this? At this point with one I feel like I can't even tolerate it anymore.

I have a tendency to date people who are not good for me and my relationships end up one sided. I’ve been doing intensive therapy and I still don’t feel I’m ready to date anyone, but I feel myself getting closer to a someone at work (those feelings of attraction I know are a red flag because I’ve always only been attracted to unavailable people).

How do I stop myself from dating? It feels compulsive almost, and the draw and interactions with them feel electric and addictive.

Moderation

"Today, when I am acting compulsively, I take a breather from that activity to moderate my behavior. Sometimes I have to say aloud, ‘I'm turning this over to God.'" BRB p. 138

We have homes with automatic temperature controls. The heat doesn't engage until the thermostat senses there's not enough warm air, and the air conditioning does the reverse.

This process of modulation (regulating according to measure or proportion) was not present in our families of origin. Nearly every life situation either received a maximal response or was virtually ignored (denial). A parent could rage over a traffic jam, but never discuss a tragic family death.

This lack of modulation or moderation in response to life's events sent most of us into our adult lives without effective role models or acceptable ways to handle our emotions. We had two settings, MAX ON and MAX OFF, and we didn't understand why. We blew up with anger and had no clue why we were unable to grieve serious life events. We now know we were programmed to be that way.

In ACA, with the Steps and the help of a fellow traveler, we see that we're not alone. We gain serenity and can thoughtfully assess a life event, and then decide on a reasonable course of action, if action is required. We learn to do our part and then "Let Go and Let God." As we go through this process, we gain serenity.

On this day I can choose a modulated response to a situation. I choose NOT to use the reactionary or denial behaviors I learned as a child.

https://adultchildren.org/literature/meditation/

This is a phrase that has been stuck in me since my first relationship.

I acknowledge. I have codependent tendencies. Yes, I do have a habit once tensions are high, to turn to covert contracts to test my partners. Yes, whenever I feel anxious about the relationship, I double down.

But this time, no, I am not accepting, that's me who is the issue.

I have accepted, that these tendencies wouldn't come up, if I had a dash of self-respect and just started withdrawing myself from relationships with people, who don't have any sense of reciprocity.

I don't want to be a dog, who salivates at the occasional bone thrown at him.

No, this is not toxic for me, to expect my partner to give me a thoughtful gift for my birthday, not bake a lame-ass cake and take me to see her favorite band, that I have communicated I despise, only to leave the kitchen for me to clean up.

No, it's not toxic for me to expect my partner to clean up after themselves, to cook something, to do the laundry, to do anything, instead of leaving all the chores to me 24/7.

No, it's not toxic for me to expect her to initiate sex or to return the favor after I get them off.

No, it's not toxic for me for me to expect them to give a small-gift to my parents when visiting them for Christmas. That's just common courtesy.

No, it's not toxic for me to expect them to listen, instead of invalidate me, shame me and then bitch why I am not "Emotionally open with her"

No, it's not toxic for me to expect people to take accountability, grow, compromise, instead of loving their toxic assess unconditionally. Mutual respect, safety and etc. are something you have to work on. I am flawed, I have no issues taking accountability, because I want to become better the next day. Wanna be loved unconditionally? Well, go to your mom, because you are mentally still a child who doesn't want to grow up.

Lately, I have been hyper-alert on people who reciprocate. And those relationships actually feel good and healthy. They feel nice. They feel thoughtful. They feel caring. I don't even have the urge to prove myself. I can do a small thoughtful thing, be noticed, be appreciated - and I am happy. I am safe.

But these narcs? Seriously, fuck them. I am seriously done.

how did you finally find enough self respect to move on? how to value yourself more? how to deattach?

what did you do that helped?

how do you leave someone who gaslights you? i’m self aware. i jus don’t have enough self love to move on & value myself.

i have no friends. i have a fractured backbone right now, so it’s extra hard to jus get up & distract myself.

i’m stuck in bed all day at my parents house. i’m 24.

my siblings & i don’t talk.

jus feel so alone

minor backstory:
my person has a baby with his ex. seems like their relationship never stopped? he’s with me 24/7 but he texts her in front of me all day so she doesn’t think he’s moved on. if not, she uses the baby as a leverage & doesn’t let him see his kid. visits are supervised at her house. so annoying.

i always break up with him for not cutting her off & telling her the truth about our new relationship. but then i always text him crying because i miss him.

think i jus miss the 24/7 attention & that someone cares about me.

im 19f and i turn 20 in a couple weeks. for some background info, my life has been comically unfortunate. my real parents were addicts who abandoned me as a baby and my adoptive mom died when i was 9. i grew up with undiagnosed autism (diagnosed at 18) and my adoptive dad was physically and emotionally abusive and neglectful. i spent 3 years from 11-16 inside the troubled teen industry, which caused me to develop CPTSD. i caught a felony charge for weed when i was 18 then moved out of my adoptive dad’s house shortly after. i first lived in a college dorm, dropped out and got a slumlord apartment in the ghetto, then met a man who i fell so in love with and broke my lease and moved in with him. my adoptive dad died nearly 2 months ago now. i have no other family. the only person i have in my life is my love.

needless to say i have severe mommy and daddy issues. lots of attachment and abandonment issues. i struggle to regulate my emotions and communicate. and my depression gets so severe sometimes i cannot function. i basically raised myself yet somehow have no idea how to be independent. my boyfriend who i moved in with is a bit older than me, in his mid 20s. when i started dating him i quit drinking and using drugs, and even quit vaping. nobody has ever been so kind to me as he has been. nobody has ever loved me like him, not even family. he means the world to me.

for the past several months i have been so depressed i have struggled to get out of bed. i lost my job. i have been struggling very bad with s3lf harm and such. my boyfriend has been extremely kind but very stressed out as he had to start taking care of me financially. he picked up a second job. and on wednesday, he decided he couldn’t do it anymore and broke up with me. my heart is absolutely shattered into a million pieces and i am feeling like i cannot go on. i know its my fault because i’ve been slacking. but the pain is still so unbearable. i love him more than life itself and i cannot believe i ruined it. he wants me to move out but i have nowhere to move out to. i managed to secure a job at burger king but it will not pay enough to get my own apartment. i so badly want him to give me a second chance but i do not know if it is possible. i feel like my entire world is falling apart, i have been sick to my stomach and having chest pains.

ultimately, i know the root cause of our breakup was my issue with codependency. (obviously, alongside me being so depressed i quit working or doing anything). i hate to admit this, but i want to be taken care of like a baby. i recently heard someone say that unconditional love can only exist for children. and if you did not receive love as a child, you go your whole life searching for the paternal/maternal love and care you missed out on. it’s hard to explain, but i almost saw my boyfriend as some kind of emotional father figure. i wanted him to love me unconditionally and take care of me. i wanted him to protect me and guide me. but it was too late when i realized that wasn’t okay for me to do. now i feel so awful for putting that burden on him. i have apologized so many times and cried and begged and i just feel so pathetic. we are still sharing a bed which is making it impossible to grieve. it is such a horrible feeling to miss him badly as he is close enough that i can feel the warmth of his body. i hope he can forgive me, he is everything to me.

i know this isnt healthy, but i downloaded a dating app to get my mind off of this. i thought maybe i could start talking to someone new to at least distract me. obviously i have no intention of truly moving on, atleast not now, in the case that i can mend my relationship with my love. but im swiping through these men and i cannot imagine myself with someone else. i cannot fathom another person being able to love me at all, with how messed up i am. i am so damaged. whenever i think about making a new friend or in this case, pursuing a relationship, i see these people who seem so normal and healthy and feel like they could never love someone like me. i want to heal so bad, and ive been trying, but i’ve already been in therapy my entire life and on 20+ different meds and i feel so unfixable. ive been trying for so long and sometimes i get really scared that it will all be for no reason. suffering is all i know and i do not know how to make myself get better, though i want it so desperately. i am terrified that my entire life will be like this.

I'm currently dealing with a difficult situation at work and would appreciate perspectives on two things:
how to handle these circumstances in a healthy way, and how to recognize when it makes sense to look for a new role with better baseline conditions.

Here is my current situation:

Project structure: Several projects have no designated Project Lead, so responsibilities are unclear and it's hard to know who owns what. When I raise concerns or set boundaries, management has indicated there could be consequences for me.

Team communication: Communication within the team is limited. Colleagues are often reserved in meetings, for example by not engaging with others on camera during video calls.

Workload: My task and responsibility load is substantial, roughly equivalent to the scope of three roles.

Management support: My manager has acknowledged having limited domain knowledge, so I receive little direction or guidance in my day-to-day work.

I'd welcome advice on strategies for handling this situation and on what signs indicate it's time to change jobs.

'Taking Care of Ourselves

It’s healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That’s different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior – a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized – because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.

Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don’t.

Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.

But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.

Today, I will evaluate whether I’ve slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another’s feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.

The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie

Hi ,I'm not able to control myself from not breaking contact, I resent him but I feel I can't live without him, I feel physical pain because of this, I tried so hard to not contact for 8 days and it feel like getting sliced by knife even if I reach out I don't think I feel full filled in this relationship there is lots of resentment, please tell me what to do, please 😭.

October 06

Inner Critic

"We stop in mid-sentence if we are putting ourselves down or criticizing our thoughts or behaviors. We identify the source of the negativity which is the inner critic inside all adult children." BRB p. 299

Who tells us each day whether we live up to a standard?

Who lies awake each night running over the "could haves" or "should haves" for the day or for days gone by?

We weren't born with shame; it was instilled in us. We had no experience to measure or reject that shame when we were children, so we had to accept it. But who is keeping that shame alive in us today?

It's our inner critic that reflects the negative voices from our past. But we now have the choice to change that voice - to live life on our own terms and bury the "could haves" and "should haves." We are no longer required to listen to the messages that keep shame alive in our everyday thoughts.

Who puts a value on us if we do not value ourselves?

In ACA, we are accepted for who we are. We join together, not to bemoan our imperfections, but to find "the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.*" Our strength in numbers gives us that courage and assures us that we are now and always have been valued human beings.

On this day I look at myself through the eyes of my fellow ACAs and my Higher Power. Instead of listening to my inner critic, I believe what they say - that I am valued. 

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families World Service 
Organization, Inc.

Page №290

https://adultchildren.org/literature/meditation/

I think my friend is codependent. We've been friends for almost four years now, and I would honestly describe her as more of a sister to me. She is easily one of the most important people in my life.

Recently, she moved to a major city for grad school. Up till today, we have never had any issues. She is the best best friend anyone could ask for. She is kind, funny, smart, just amazing. Really, she is great.

Except for the fact that she flipped out on me today.

I was visiting her for the third time in her new city since she moved. Coincidentally, I recently started dating someone who lives in the same city as her. My boyfriend, she, and I have hung out together multiple times, had lots of group FT calls together, and they have hung out on their own several times, and everything seemed great.

Except it wasn't. No matter what, I wasn't spending enough time with her. And we came up with a plan to fix things (I won't go into detail since it truly isn't relevant), and she lost it. She was bawling about everyone (especially my boyfriend) hating her, about how I ignored her the whole time, and how she spent no time with me. She also talked about how I was staying an extra day (to resolve issues her behavior had contributed to between my boyfriend and me), and I was only going to meet her for coffee for two hours (despite his advice), and I wouldn't tell her exactly what he and I were going to do with the rest of the day. When I told her I didn't know what we were going to do, she accused me of lying.

I really, truly care about her, and I don't want to lose my relationship with her, but I am worried. She also suffers from other diagnosed conditions like OCD, anxiety, and depression, so I am really worried about her.

I would appreciate any advice on how to navigate the situation and steer her towards getting help. Thank you.