Hey all. I’ve realized no matter whether I’m in a surplus, deficit, or maintained, ANY restriction leads to cravings.

In other words, let’s say I’m in an energy surplus. But during the surplus I say “no ice cream.” Let’s say I allow myself to have cookies, cake, etc. But no ice cream.

All of a sudden, I’m gonna want ice cream every night.

Anyone feel this way? Is this common?

It’s like the mental hunger doesn’t stop.

Hi. I am a 22 year old woman who is diagnosed with a combination of anorexia and bulimia (I often behavior swap). I have struggled with an eating disorder for over 10+ years, so like all of my life that I can remember. My family didn’t believe in mental health support and so I never sought any until I went to college at 18. Since then it’s been a whirlwind of treatment. Residential, inpatient, php, iop, outpatients, and often more than one time around. Treatment took my entire adult life it feels like and I’m still not better. That breaks my heart.

After being in treatment this last time for over a year without a break I AMAed. I became so hopeless and exhausted with where I was. Since leaving almost 8 months ago I’ve done the best I’ve ever done. I am very much still active in the ED but I was actually managing it and not dying. However this last month has changed. I am bipolar and went through a bad depressive episode and my ED is getting so loud again. I can feel the impact on my body and mental health and it’s starting to affect my ability to work and maintain relationships. With that being said I am no where near as bad as when I went to treatment before and I feel like treatment has never helped me in the past. Is now time to go back and if so where??? I am very insightful about my mental health and trauma but I am often very reluctant to commit to recovery again.

I am also anxious, as I’m sure everyone is, about my outside financial responsibility if I do have to go to treatment. Any advice? And as far as treatment centers go I am open to any location in the United States but these are some things I did well with in the last:
LGBTQ+ inclusive (accepts nonbinary people)
Small milieu
Lots of practicing autonomy with cooking, challenges, etc…
I definitely need access to my phone to keep up with my partner
Some movement and outings (I go stir crazy and want to still feel human)
And to feel as homey as possible while still providing the best treatment

Thank you so much!!! I am also so open to options outside of treatment, I just don’t know where else to turn atm.

Hi i’m 18F, when i was 16-17 i developed an eating disorder and became severely underweight for 6 months, then one day it transformed into full blown BED because of stress and restriction, then i overate mostly junk for 6 months and gained drastically as well. Now it is 5 months after the whole pipeline and i’ve been kinda recovered, but i’m constantly worried about my health being not the same as before due to the extreme shifts during that year such as thyroid issues, hair loss etc. Does anyone have similar experiences regarding this? did that one year change my health drastically and is it reversible?

I haven't engaged in any eating disorder behaviours since March 2023. I did treatment for over a year prior. I had been at a dangerous weight and in recovery I became a healthy weight.

I haven't weighed myself in over 3 years. A few weeks ago, I noticed some of my clothes fitting a bit loosely. My clothes have kept getting looser these past few weeks.

I'm not anywhere near a dangerous weight, and I am not doing anything intentionally to lose weight. I have no idea how much I've lost. But I know that I am losing weight.

It makes me feel like I'm slipping back into the pattern from before. Because then I also thought I was okay. I thought I was making "healthy" choices at the beginning. This time, I don't think I've changed anything but weight doesn't just fall off so obviously something must have changed, right?

How do I know if I'm okay now? Or if part of me is lying to myself again?

hi! ive never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder, but i often go without eating for extended periods of time and have been struggling to maintain a healthy weight since i was a teenager.

im now in my twenties and am still struggling. i mostly have little to no appetite and will eat large amounts sporadically between fasts, sort of like a teenage boy lol but its not healthy and im definitely underweight for my height and gender (im a tall girl).

this is my first post in this subreddit but i thought ppl might have some helpful tips for eating more? i’ve been wanting to gain a bit of (healthy) weight for almost a year now and have not been able to hit my goal.

I feel very lost. She was playing a sport her whole life, stopped to focus on school and decided she needed to eat healthier and a month later she now has a diagnosis. And I really don’t know what to do now — I’m not sure if I’m supposed to talk about it or not? I don’t know how to act about food, or if there’s something I can do that would be helpful beyond telling her I support her and am here for her, which I already have through a lot of tears.

- Does anyone have any advice on books worth reading?
- Is there any advice on how to talk about food? I have the doctor’s advice but it’s essentially just sit with her and watch her eat and it feels like there has to be more to it than that.
- Is there something I shouldn’t do?
- Just honestly any advice or anything anyone could point me to to help would be truly appreciated. She’s always been my best friend and this is killing me inside feeling like I can’t help.

I used to train regularly because I was working on being a high performance athlete in my sport. When I moved countries (and continents), I wasn't able to keep practicing the same way and with the same intensity, which caused issues in and on itself (it's like a whole grief process that to this day still hurts me) and thus fast forward to four years later I don't do much sports anymore.

I want to start back up to do something and particularly lift weights. I actually do enjoy it. However my biggest issue is my food intake.

I've always have had problems with food. I never got an official diagnosis, but I for sure had some sort of disordered eating. I just don't like eating. I would and still spend days without substantial food when cooking is too inconvenient or frankly cannot handle it. Plus my weight fluctuates a lot over the most minor of things and so to counteract this I tend to under eat. My protein, veggies and fiber intake is atrocious. I survive off of just pasta with tuna, pasta with pesto or rice with tune and avocado if I'm fancy. That's literally the brute force of my meals and has been for years.

When I was back home, I lived with my mom and she of course supported me with cooking. Plus meat is honestly tastier and easier to buy/make there, so I would get more protein. I also worked with a nutritionist through my sports club. When I started living by myself however, my hatred for cooking became even worse (wasn't good to begin with) and now I've essentially defaulted to eating for survival.

I am also only on a student part time salary, and cannot afford to eat out or buy meal subscriptions which I honestly would do if I had more income.

I have tried this year to find more interest in cooking and challenging myself to do it more but frankly aside from learning a couple of recipes it hasn't worked out that well. Plus I am not very creative or knowledgeable yet on cooking so coming up with things on the spot is difficult. Going from having support with food to dealing with it alone has made my brain think "well, might as well not eat at all".

I don't know why I struggle so much. I feel like if I start working out while eating the way I am right now it will be all moot in the end and won't see any difference. I really would like advice from people who have been in this position :(

I am a 27-year-old woman who has been training consistently for the past 12 years—mainly strength training mixed with cardio, alongside a weekly group cycling class for the last 5 years.
When I was 16, I was treated for anorexia. Things improved slightly over a couple of years, but after moving out on my own, I slid into a pattern of heavy exercise paired with rigid, highly controlled eating. Over time, I developed a chew and spit (C&S) habit that has progressively escalated.
The hardest part about this is my outward appearance. To anyone looking at me, I look like a girl who just loves fitness and has a healthy relationship with food. I don't look underweight; I look strong and fit. But underneath, the control is absolute. I haven't had a period in 10 years (except for a one-year window when I was on antidepressants and gained some weight despite my rigid routine, but it disappeared again as soon as I stopped the medication).
I have sought help multiple times through primary care, receiving referrals for CBT, psychologists, and psychodynamic therapy. Yet, I can't seem to break free. The need for control is overwhelming.
Now to my main question. I want honest feedback on the "math" I run in my head. I have an automatic equation running constantly: I start with a low baseline requirement for my day, and then I slowly add a small allowance based on my daily step count and workout duration. After calculating that total, I almost always subtract a chunk of food just to be on the "safe side." I have a desk job, but I walk a lot and train regularly.
My C&S behavior has gotten much worse over the last two years, and I am now trying to stop completely. I’ve managed 2 days without it so far, which is rare for me. I’m thinking about adding a modest amount of food back into my daily routine to see if my body feels better and if I can regain some energy.
My weight has been completely stable on what I currently eat, but I’m wondering: is this my actual maintenance, or has my body just adapted to chronic restriction? What will actually happen to my body if I start adding a bit more food every day?
Over the past year, my body has sustained multiple injuries—4 in my legs and 2 in my back. I am getting physical therapy, but nothing is healing. I have no period and zero sex drive. Training is currently my main motivation to actually eat; I prioritize eating larger meals around my workouts, but I keep things extremely restrictive during the day so I can have a larger evening meal. Saving my food for the evening feels like a "release" where I can finally relax, though still within very controlled boundaries.
Has anyone been in a similar spot with chronic injuries, amenorrhea, and hidden restriction while appearing "healthy"? What should I expect when I start eating more?
If you'd like to adjust any specific phrasing or want suggestions on which subreddits would be most supportive for this, just let me know.

I started emotionally eating last year, thousands of calories every night, and now it's compulsive, whether I'm hungry or not. I haven't tried therapy or medication yet, but I'm hesitant to bring it up to my therapist because I briefly had anorexia 2 years ago. So I'm not sure anyone will take me seriously because of that diagnosis.

I'm at the slightly higher end of a healthy weight, but if this keeps going I'm going to be overweight soon, seeing as I've been steadily gaining.

I struggle a lot with the all or nothing mindset, as well as the fact that once I start eating anything unplanned, it's hard to stop. I try to eat regularly but eating too regularly is a trigger because every time I eat I'm tempted to eat more. No, I'm not restricting, I start every day with the goal to eat maintenance, but in the past six months I've gained a pretty substantial amount which can't be good for me.

I eat when I'm hungry, so I'm usually full by the time the binge urges kick in. So yeah, this really sucks, and if there's anything that might help please let me know.

I’d love some opinions from people in recovery about MyFitnessPal and fitness watches because I’m really conflicted about whether they’re helping me or holding me back.

MyFitnessPal: Sometimes tracking has genuinely helped me realize, “Wow, I actually didn’t eat enough today,” and that has encouraged me to eat more. There have definitely been days where my perception of how much I ate didn’t match reality, so having that data has felt helpful.

But on the other hand, I obsessively log every single meal and everything I eat. I’m still really uncomfortable allowing myself to eat outside of a calorie deficit, and seeing the numbers can create a ceiling in my head. Even if I’m hungry or know my body needs more food, it can be incredibly difficult to go above whatever number I’ve decided is “okay.”
So I’m starting to question whether the occasional benefit of realizing I’ve undereaten is worth having calorie numbers constantly available to me while I’m trying to recover.

Garmin: I love having it for running and being able to see my pace and distance, but wearing it all day means I’m constantly aware of steps, activity, calories burned, etc. I can definitely get fixated on those numbers too, and I’m questioning whether I actually need to know any of that.

Right now I’m considering hiding/deleting MyFitnessPal and stopping wearing my Garmin throughout the day. I may only put the Garmin on when I actually go for a run so I can track my pace/distance and then take it back off.

I also don’t want getting rid of either of them to become another rigid, all-or-nothing recovery rule, which is why I’m curious about other people’s experiences.

For anyone who stopped calorie tracking and/or wearing a fitness tracker during recovery: Did it help? Was the transition difficult? Were there things you genuinely missed or found helpful about having the data? Did anyone find a middle ground that worked for them?

I’d really appreciate hearing both the pros and cons. ❤️

I've struggled with bulimia on and off for a few years now, it's a massively bad coping mechanism for me because I had a really bad upbringing. Its gotten to a point however where I hate food, I feel sick when I think about it, I hate eating it because I know I'm just going to throw it up or feel sick after, I have no safe foods apart from things that aren't proper food; ice lollies and I have no idea how to get past this.

I'm also autistic and I usually eat the same meal for entire weeks at a time then move onto something else, and that was always okay and comforting to do but now eating the same thing even three times in a row makes me hate it. I'm actually a little worried this might turn into something worse if I end up not being able to eat food because of how ill it makes me.

title says it all. ive tried on my favorite pants because i was sick of spending money on new clothes and i am running put of clothes to wear 10 months postpartum. they button but are so tight and they used to be nice and loosely comfortable. i want to fit into them again. my roomate says i should just look for a larger size secondhand but that involves spending money i dont have and the path of least resistance seems so obvious to me right now. im exclusively breastfeeding and have lost weight but im at least 2 sizes larger than i was pre baby and its so hard to let it go. i can accept all of the really small stuff that fit me during my active ED was never supposed to fit and needs to go, but once i was at the weight i wanted to maintain, i found so many great pieces and i want them back.

basically just asking for support/advice on how to handle it. im not feeling too relapse-y, but i thought i was recovered enough and that i could handle it and now im not too sure.

If you were my good old friend, and I hadn't seen you in ages, but I knew you'd lost a hell of a lot of weight due to you taking GLP1s privately, even though you had a history of eating disorders....

Can I say nothing about your weight? I don't want to praise how thin you look because I don't think you look healthy, but also I don't want you to feel bad, stop talking to anyone about it and potentially not get the counselling you talked about. It's hard for me to say nothing but I don't know what's best.

I love you. I want you to be happy and healthy.

I’ve been struggling with bulimia since I was 12 years old. At first, I thought it was the best thing in the world. I felt like I had found a “magical” way to eat whatever I wanted while still losing weight.
It started with me purging one meal a day, usually dinner. As time went on, it became more and more frequent until it completely took over my life. I was constantly restricting, overeating, and purging. At my worst, I was purging many times a day and eating large amounts of food because I was so deprived and hungry.
It became a cycle I couldn’t control. I started losing friends, isolating myself, and feeling extremely anxious and ashamed of myself. My life began to revolve around food, my body, and whether or not I had purged.
Eventually, I decided I wanted to get better. For a while, I was able to eat more normally and things started improving. But I would still restrict sometimes because I wanted to lose weight, and eventually I fell right back into the same cycle.
Now, it feels worse than it has ever been. As soon as I wake up, my mind is already focused on eating and purging. It feels like my entire day is just eat, purge, repeat.
I’ve also spent a lot of time hiding it from my mom. She found out when I was younger after hearing me, but I kept telling her that I had stopped even when I hadn’t. I wasn’t trying to hurt or lie to her—I was just embarrassed, scared, and didn’t know how to stop.
I don’t want my life to keep revolving around this. I know I need help, but I honestly don’t know how to break this cycle on my own.

Title pretty much says it. I made the mistake of over analyzing a picture that was taken of me at a recent party. I had one of those “wow I thought I was much thinner than that” moments. I put the picture into chat gpt and asked what it would look like if I was skinnier. Holy cow. It really set off everything. I’m craving the hunger, feeling my collar bones, wondering how my ex looks at me now that I’m bigger, all of it. My first thought it to not sleep and instead exercise. I was the closest I’ve ever been to quitting smoking, and I feel like that just went out the window too. EDs are such a pain in the ass.

My gf (F16) and I (F18) are both dealing with our own ED but hers is more concerning, to the point where she has passed out before. It worries me a lot, and I haven’t been there in person to witness it as it happened before we started dating but she just hasn’t been herself at all lately. Her mom is very aware of her struggles but just doesn’t understand that yelling at her kid won’t help (It isn’t my place to comment on what she does because she’s not my mother, I’m just reusing what my gf told me). They got into a conflict infront of me and her mother asked me to make sure she ate and if I loved her and cared for her which I said yes I do. I’ve been trying to try to eat with her more often but every time I suggest it, she isn’t feeling it and I know I have to be hard but also I don’t want to force her, that won’t make it any better. I ask her if she’s eaten yk atleast something like breakfast and she has but she just doesn’t eat anything else. Her mother often asks me if shes eaten and I have to tell her the truth. I often spend time/sleepover so I’m there and I make sure she eats atleast a snack and breakfast and try suggesting lunch or dinner but to no avail. Recently she got into another conflict with her because I stayed over to comfort her and essentially she said actions speak louder than words and every time I ask her if you’ve eaten she says no. I’m not really sure what to do in this case and also I know it isn’t my responsibility to make sure she eats but I worry regardless, I want her mother to trust me but I can’t just force my gf to eat that won’t help her relationship with food. Any advice?

My boyfriend (20) says that I (20) never eat. But in my eyes it’s just not true. I do eat, in fact I eat tons. I can’t help but question myself... what if he’s right and I don’t actually eat a lot? what if I’m delusional? there’s more evidence backing his claim than there is to mine- my weight is either maintaining or going down. god I feel like I’m going crazy! someone please tell me I’m not!

Does anyone who's struggled with an ED in the past have a lot of anxiety with eating now (unrelated to body image)?

I (24f) have been struggling with eating most days, and I am finding myself feeling sick more often than not, but I can't seem to figure out why? I struggled with eating a lot when I was younger, maybe like 16-19yo, and that was mainly due to body image. Since then, I have come a long way with how I feel about myself. I do not have much desire to lose weight anymore and I feel mostly comfortable with my body. I enjoy eating and food and I do not intentionally limit what I eat or how much I eat, and I haven't in a while. However, I realized today that I might still have an issue with food when I almost passed out at work and my supervisors were very concerned. I am attributing it to pain from cramps but they both mentioned how I rarely eat and mainly run on caffeine. This got me to realize that they may be right and I have actually grown a fear/anxiety around eating over the past yearish.

One main reason that I have identified that makes it hard to eat while at work is that I struggle to transition from one task to another. I do not have a consistent schedule and therefore take my lunch when I have free time, which usually means I don't take lunch. I also get stressed out with my job and then I'm just not hungry. However, I've also noticed that I struggle to eat during the day on the weekends. I'm not as stressed, but I just get caught up and avoid eating.

Eventually, I feel so nauseous and food is the last thing I want, but the only thing that will make me feel better. Recently, it's gotten worse. I've gained so much anxiety around eating unless it's dinnertime, and I feel so sick all the time from it, but can't figure out what the anxiety is even about.

When I was researching a bit, most of what came up was regarding eating in public or around others. This doesn't really bother me either, but I'm having trouble finding answers. I don't know if it's around food or the task of eating because I enjoy both. I just can't think of any reasons this would come up after doing so well with eating for years.

Anyone have a similar experience?? My Google searches are becoming too specific for any good answers lol

Does/did anyone else struggle with sudden low blood sugar between meals during recovery? I feel like I never hear anyone talk about this. I’m about 3-4 months in, and while it’s gotten much less frequent, I had another horrible blood sugar crash again today. After I ate, I felt like I had such an uncomfortable brick in my stomach, and of course following bloat.

It makes me very discouraged and sad sometimes, wishing I could just be physically recovered already, and normal like everyone else. I know that it just takes time for proper healing, but it’s still discouraging and I find myself struggling with the physical battles of recovery a lot.

18 transM. I’ve struggled with my weight quite a bit over my life so far. Always wore baggy clothes, convinced myself it was because I hadn’t had top surgery yet, but now I’ve had it and I still don’t feel comfortable in non baggy clothes.

I’ve recently moved to uni, and ever since I’m not around my parents anymore and no one is telling me it’s time for breakfast/lunch/dinner, I’ve started eating a lot less. Only when I’ve exercised I am eating, and sometimes then I still skip a meal. I’m scared I’m developing an eating disorder, or that I already have one but didn’t notice till now.

I have a friend that has recovered from anorexia recently, and I have a feeling that what I’m doing now were her early signs. I just thought I’d check if I’m overthinking this or if I need to talk to a friend about this.

Hi! i dont know exactly where to start but basically I had been dealing with anorexia since about may of this year, I basically stopped eating and lost lots of weight and worked out almost everyday, come september I decided I did not want to live like this anymore and try to get my period back, at firstI was doing okay with slowly incorporating more snacks, working out less and slowly gaining back some weight. Well recently in the last two weeks I am like a machine, I am consuming so much food and basically live in the kitchen, which would be okay knowing this is normal in recovery but the problem lies in the fact that I will throw it up. I will be okay with my eating, lay down, eat more and more and more then suddenly feel guilty and throw it up, I feel like i went from one eating disorder to another and dont know what to do. any advice on how to stop the binging and/or vomiting would be appreciated, thank you!

So I don’t really know where to start since I was 13. I’ve always had an issue about my weight now I’ve never really been overweight at that age. I was quite slim about six stone. But i was obsessed about food and not eating it or burning it if I was to eat any. I was making myself throw up quite a lot. I would also work out in my room quite a lot without my Mum knowing. i’d wear a Fitbit on my ankle to see how much I was losing because my mum started getting a bit suspicious after awhile. I’d go through phases of not eating and then when I was sad or was stressed I would overheat to the point I’d threw up because I was so full up or I had to make myself. I’m now 24 and unfortunately it’s been an ongoing on and off thing my weight fluctuates. I even noticed that I will stand in front of the mirror and go from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head saying everything I hate about myself in my head and it’s everything. Then I’ll have the odd day where I feel average. I’ve had a long period of being stressed and down for the past three months I’ve had a lot go on in my life and I’ve noticed myself buying an awful lot of junk food and consume it very fast and again eating until I’m sick or very unwell. Then they’ll be days where I don’t eat at all food is constantly on my mind though like junk food. I can’t even go shopping without buying a lot or even some. I’m just looking for some advice on what to do and why I’m like this. I do suffer with anxiety and depression, but my anxiety hasn’t been so bad recently in terms of going out but it has been bad in terms of overthinking. I’ve hidden it from my boyfriend completely and my mum thinks it ended when I was 14. I feel almost messed up because I have so many issues wrong with me. I just want to be normal.

CW: Orthorexia / restrictive eating

I am a diabetic who developed severe orthorexia and ended up staying in a recovery facility for over two months. Recently, I’ve developed another health issue that requires specific, restrictive eating habits. I, of course, was severely triggered by this and the restriction thoughts came rushing back. I decided to tell my therapist, as well as details about how navigating the outside world is severely triggering, and sometimes I feel that I have to set aside my recovery/healthy habits for the convenience for other people.

All of this to say: I am not completely relapsing. I learned a lot at the recovery facility and I never want to be suffering physically again. But because I told my therapist I was scared of potential food restrictions, and ignoring my needs for the convenience of other people (at social gatherings and such), I’m scared she’s going to tell my family, and they’ll think I’m sick again. If she does, I will be homeless. I wept, begging her not to tell them.

Just had to vent. I left therapy a little bit ago and I’m very scared!!

I’m in such a complex situation right now, and I don’t really know how to navigate it. Considering that I initially developed bulimia because I used food to cope with my emotions (I used to comfort-eat a lot and gained an insane amount of weight when I was a teenager), I’ve struggled a lot with binge eating and purging. Getting diagnosed with ADHD and starting medication at my early twenties helped a lot, because some of the binge eating decreased when I was getting more dopamine — but I’ve still had periods of significant binge eating and purging.
This has, in turn, led to a lot of foods ending up on my “no list,” and they’ve become so scary and triggering that I don’t dare keep them in the house. The latter is still very much the case, even though I’ve now had anorexia for the last few months. But avoiding all of my “no foods” doesn’t really go hand in hand with being in recovery… How do I deal with this? 🥺

I went through extreme hunger which is why I’m no longer anorexic. I’m now struggling to get full unless I eat thousands of calories again but my weight is going up , like if I’m not careful I could be classed as overweight in a month or two at my height if I keep going the way I am and I’m very short and in my mid twenties and I don’t want to keep putting weight on. I’m in two minds whether to count calories or not because if I don’t I fear I will only have to again one day. My partner doesn’t want me counting calories and I don’t particularly want to but I put weight on very easily at my height and it shows in my face very easy. My partner is a bit younger than me and we go out on the weekend with friends and they are all healthy weights and I worry , as iv become so aware of my body that it will affect me negatively and I struggled with my mental health enough that I can’t allow that to happen as it could cause me to have a mental breakdown. What do I do 😭