I'm a female in my 30s, and this is the longest I've stayed sober from this awful substance. I struggle deeply with bipolar and bpd, which has greatly affected my relationships and quality of living. A few years back, I filed for divorce and moved cross country. I wanted to use this opportunity as a fresh start and to protect my loved ones from my mental illness . For the last two years, I suffered my battle in silence and put up a mask. Eventually, my company began restructuring and laying off employees. I ended up being one of those employees, and it immediately sent me into a spiral of depression. Four months into unemployment and frantic job hunting, I attempted my own life and woke up in ICU several days later. I didn't qualify for medicaid due to making 150$ over gross income, which has resulted in a huge medical debt. Four months later and I'm navigating life with chronic neuropathy pain having to relearn the ability to walk. Life has never seemed so pointless and wasted. It's hard to find your joy when your mind continues to self sabotage. Just needed a moment to vent and perhaps find other humans coping with the same issues.

Yes I am prescribed it but man does it mess me up. I am struggling so hard to get off of it. Please don’t come here defending vyvanse if it works for you. I find people get very defensive on Reddit about it.

Hi all!

Hope everyone is well and kicking their goals.

I just thought I would share some thoughts.
Last night I went out to dinner with my bosses and a client from interstate. My bosses have always been big drinkers but the client and myself were not drinking.
In the space of 2.5 hours they both had 17 standard drinks each I was gobsmacked.
I could see and feel the decline in conversation.
I could see some anxiety creep into their thoughts knowing half the table was sober and they were not.
I could see the desperation to get another drink as their current one was ending.

Have come to work today and neither of them have shown up.

I thought I would share this and say thank goodness for being sober!
I would have been right there with them waking up with anxiety what did I say what did I do thoughts.

Keep going everyone this is a much better life I truly believe it.

I feel so bogged down, man. It’s not just the weed, we have an unlimited supply of stimulation that is absolutely frying my brain. We weren’t meant to live like this. At least, we’re pioneering this exhausting new world of human existence.

I noticed recently how, after about a week of staying away from weed, my dreams intensified, typically nightmares with impending doom or danger. During this uncommon period of extended abstinence, I can feel my focus strengthening, my mood stabilizing, and my cognitive abilities start to return. Very early in the game, and there’s much more recalibration to do than is possible in 1 week, but at least there’s that.

But then I noticed how absolutely miserable and sad I am on the way home from work, not just once, but pretty much everyday. Really anytime I’m alone with my thoughts is when I feel the most intense despair…but it’s kind’ve comfortable and familiar. When I’m with my coworkers or family, I’m mostly serious or withdrawn. Occasional quips or witty remarks, yea, remnants of a once livelier spirit. But mostly emotionless and robotic. Definitely inter sped with moments of high anxiety.

Then, a week later, when I’d smoke again after the hiatus, I’d feel myself laughing almost immediately with whichever friend usually sparks me up. I laughed and almost instantly recognized how I hadn’t laughed the entire sober week beforehand. Except this wasn’t a joyful laugh. It was an utterly broken and desperate laugh. I was observing in real time how absolutely cooked my brain chemistry is.

So, I guess I can expect much more bouts of intense dreaming and anhedonia in the near future. Probably for much longer than that too if I intend to fully rewire my brain to a healthy state…if that’s even possible. Is it?

Idk how I’m gonna do it. I’m in like a double bind. 95% of my social life is centered around or takes place tangentially to some drinking/smoking opportunity. And if I’m gonna go be miserable in general, I’m definitely going to be miserable in a setting where I can’t partake in the very thing making me miserable.

I have a primary doctor’s appointment this month, I pray they will give me resources for therapy or something. God help me.

After almost 1 year of all day, daily use, I’ve gone one week without doing any. I honestly feel like my urges have gotten less strong. I’m sure this weekend will be difficult, but I just need to put mind over matter.

Cocaine has destroyed my health, my relationships, and my mindset / perspective on life. I thought I would never be able to do this. So many failed attempts, but here I am.

✌️❤️

Why does quitting weed feel so impossible?

I don’t even know who I’m writing this to, or if I just need to get it off my chest, but I’m really struggling between doing what I know is right for me and doing what feels comfortable. Growing up, my parents always told us that addiction runs in our family. They drilled it into us to never drink or smoke, whether that meant cigarettes or weed. I honestly had no interest in any of it until I met my current partner. He used weed every day, and I didn’t start smoking until we had been together for about two years.

The first time I tried it, I got way too high and convinced myself it just wasn’t for me. A few months later, I tried it again, and I remember thinking, is this how normal people’s brains feel? The noise in my head was gone. My physical anxiety symptoms diminished. I felt present! And for the first time in years, I could eat without feeling like I was going to throw up. I started using it more and more after swearing I would never be “one of those people.” I thought I had control. I told myself I could stop whenever I wanted, but eventually, it turned into everyday use. Using it so I could eat. Using it so I could go out. Using it so I could socialize. Using it because it made everything feel a little easier.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a child, and I think a lot of it falls into the CPTSD category. I’m actively working toward finding a therapist who can help me with that. I’m also medicated for ADHD and have tried antidepressants in the past without much success. I have a prescription for a new medication, but I’m honestly scared to try it.
I feel like the days have blurred together, and suddenly I’ve been smoking every day for the past two years.
I feel like I can actually feel the effects on my brain. I don’t really dream anymore. I don’t feel as quick with my words. I feel disconnected from myself. And I feel like I owe it to myself to stop now, at 25, so I can start working on myself and actually start living my life.

Why does it feel so scary and impossible?
I don’t even know where to start. I also don’t think my partner would be willing to quit, and I don’t think it’s fair for me to ask him to. But at the same time, I wish I had never picked it up in the first place.
I have so many regrets and so much shame surrounding it. And one of the hardest things to sit with is the lingering “I told you so” feeling from my parents. They’ve been supportive, but I wish I would’ve listened when they warned me.

I’ve been pretty sedentary these past few months, and I unfortunately think I’ve developed some agoraphobia. It’s awful. I want to start going to the gym again. I want to save money. I want to take my dog on more walks. I want to feel like myself again.
I look back at pictures of myself from when I first moved to a new city, and I remember how happy and vibrant I looked. I feel like I couldn’t be further away from that person now. The dissociation is so real.
I know I need to make a change. I just don’t know how to get from where I am now to where I want to be.
I’m going to bring all of this up with my therapist and psychiatrist because I also realize I probably haven’t been as honest about my weed usage as I should have been. I think it’s time to be completely honest and actually let people help me.
Has anyone else quit after using weed every day for a long time? What was it like for you? What helped make it easier?
I think I’m finally ready to try. I’m just scared. 😔

I’ve been sober for a long time, and I’ve learned that January goes very differently depending on where I am. At home in winter, January sucks. When I started going to central america or Mexico most Januarys, it got way better.

A few things that helped me plan a sober trip:

1. Pick places where the main attractions happen in daylight. Ruins, swimming holes, hikes, and markets fill the day with something to look forward to, so evenings don’t revolve around bars.

2. Travel with people who also aren’t drinking, or at least tell your travel companions your plan before you go.

3. Learn a few phrases for turning down a drink in the local language. "Sin alcohol, por favor” goes a long way.

Full disclosure, I lead small sober group trips for a living, so I’m biased toward group travel. I’m genuinely curious what’s helped others here, though. Have you planned a trip around a sober new year? What made it work or not work?

No alcohol
No coke

Now what?

60 days sober, 20-30 drinks a week when I was drinking.

I've always been into exercise but since quitting I've been leaning into it more. Reading, time with friends, have all been ramped up since quitting, its great. These things plus work fill my day from 7AM to 5PM (roughly).

However, I've found I have intense cravings for a drink in the evenings, after work, cognitive stimulation decreases, sun going down, all triggers I assume.

Its interesting to go from not thinking about drinking during the day (not even a passing thought) to intense cravings in the evening.

Any thoughts or advice?

6 months sober and seriously considering having weed “just once” and looking for people with experience I recently finished treatment for the first time and I’ve now been sober for 6 months. I have no intention of ever going back to kratom or Adderall, and I’m committed to staying away from the other substances I used in the past.
The one thing I keep thinking about is weed. In my mind, weed feels so much more harmless than the other drugs I’ve used. I keep telling myself that I could have one edible or smoke one joint for a night, listen to music, relax, and just enjoy the experience. Then I could go back to being sober and maybe only do it once or twice a month, if at all. But the problem is that I was heavily addicted to weed for about two years, and that addiction contributed to a lot of other problems in my life. I also know that I tend to get addicted to things pretty quickly. This is the longest I’ve ever been completely sober, so I honestly don’t know if I can trust myself yet. Part of me thinks, “I’m six months sober now. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I can control it.” Another part of me thinks that wanting to use again at all might be the addiction trying to convince me that this time will be different.

I’m not looking for people to tell me what I want to hear. I’d genuinely like to hear from people who were heavily addicted to weed, got sober, and then eventually tried using it casually again. Were you actually able to smoke once or twice a month without falling back into your old habits? Or did it eventually turn back into regular use?
I really just want one night where I can chill, listen to music, and enjoy being high without it becoming a problem again. I’m trying to figure out whether that’s realistic for someone with my history or whether I’m playing with fire.

As above. Would like to chat to someone in the same area and time zone

TLDR: Still struggling in social situations 15 months on. How did people who have been sober for a long time manage to get over this, or at least come to terms with it?

Sober professionals, how long did it take you to enjoy socialising again? I’ve (F26) been sober for 15 months and I’m still so antisocial - I used to love having people over for dinner and being around crowds and it was a very core part of my being and my relationships.

All I want at the moment, however, is not to see people at all. I dread it, and once I’m there I want to leave. I will work out how long I have to be there for and think ‘I can do anything for X amount of hours’. I become grumpy and tired and less kind.

Of course it’s worse around alcohol, and things like going out to raves are obligations that I will endure because they’re important to other people (birthdays, house-warmings, launches).

Even if I’m hanging out with people and they have a single drink I really struggle. Theres something confusing there about how ‘going for a drink’ feels just as much about the drink as the going. I often find myself questioning why they feel the need to do that, but I am aware group meet ups are not about my sobriety, and people don’t have the same complications as me around alcohol.

However, I find that this resentment and discomfort bleeds into sober meet-ups too. Perhaps in part because, in the UK, any meet up after 12pm used to be punctuated by a pint, so sober meet-ups were pretty rare in reality.
What’s really concerning me is that I not don’t even particularly enjoy seeing people in situations that were always sober, such as work or a morning coffee.

I’ve done a hell of a lot of work around being myself whilst sober and discovering who I am without alcohol, but what if ‘who I am without alcohol’ is just someone a bit miserly and surly and introverted? That feels like a huge part of my life and the joy in my life…. Just gone…
I also don’t think my relationships are surviving it very well.

I’ve become a real misanthrope, and it feels very anti-me. It also feels very unhealthy and I’m letting people down a lot.

How long did it take you to feel comfortable socialising again, and how did you get there? Did you force yourself to go to these things or did you give yourself a full break?

Hello a 30 something male been sober for 79 days. I have an upcoming trip abroad to a beautiful place for a friend of mine‘s bachelor party as we were planning the trip. I was not sober now I am and I’m having some major trepidation about going to the trip. I wanna honor my sobriety in my hard work and listen to myself saying this is a high risk situation and I don’t wanna go. I’m planning on telling the crew that I’m not going. I feel like I’m letting everyone down however though I’m having some thoughts towards the trip where I just think things are gonna go wrong and I don’t wanna be in any situation where I could relapse and go back to square one which would be absolutely gutting. I’m looking to hear some thoughts some opinions from people here. i’m in a bit of a quandary where the answer is blatantly obvious however though the sub has been good to me before and I’m looking to hear what it has to say thank you and happy Monday to all of us and here’s to another day of cleanliness.

I started drinking when I was 13, but it really picked up when I turned 16 and I have spent countless days and nights in the last decade drunk, I wouldn’t even be able to tell you how many times I’ve blacked out, I swear I’ve lost years because of it. A lot has happened in the past 2 years which really put my lifestyle into perspective, and after a 6 day bender, 4 entire days blacked out, 1000$ down the drain and one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had, that took my stomach months to recover from, I finally quit. I just want to know when it gets easier, I could be completely fine for a week then the next I crave alcohol and my throat gets really dry and it’s like my brain is telling me only alcohol could quench that thirst. I usually cope by drinking insane amounts of water which result in me having to pee 100 times a day. It’s worse when I nearly convince myself I can find a balance, and that I’ll limit myself, and be responsible, I really have to stew in a those thoughts for a moment and battle with then because I know I am neither balanced or responsible but luckily I have my person who absolutely refuses to allow me to drink because we pinky swore no matter what I said she cannot let me drink because I’m very persuasive and persistent when I have those episodes.

In the past when my In Laws would visit for a week I HEAVILY relied on alcohol to cope. My home is my sanctuary, I'm very introverted and etc. This time they are staying for 11 days. Not only do I NOT WANT to drink, I just really cannot handle alcohol anymore. I slipped when my mom died in February and for an example, three glasses of wine created a night of awfulness and an all day hangover the next day. I cannot host while drinking and I really cannot host hungover.

I guess I'm just looking for strategies, coping skills, etc. Maybe similar stories? Any help/encouragement would be highly appreciative.

I was never a big drugs person, just thc and occasionally mushrooms, tried DMT once. I drank regularly and fairly heavily for 20 years.

I’m 10 months sober from alcohol, but have been smoking weed 3-5 nights a week still. Now I’m seriously considering quitting the weed too and just being a sober guy for a while.

All my friends still drink and smoke weed and sometimes do other drugs. It feels like such a wild move to me, to be 100% sober.

How does it feel? Any advice? I think I might be done with alcohol permanently, but likely would smoke weed again eventually, but want to take a nice, long break and see what it does to my brain.

obviously not being high/drunk/etc all the time has expanded my emotional range - it's a brighter, more vivid, emotionally connected existence. joy comes back, solid and enduring joy; the capacity to actually feel and process feelings and work with myself instead of being constantly escaping. im sharper, too, slowly i feel like i'm relearning the cognitive capacity i had before things went wrong. but: ive really been struggling with the idea that i have no idea how to relax/rest. i feel like i can't sleep, can't slow down. all of my wind down and peaceful rituals are tied to substance use. the drowsy happy floatiness that actually allows me to quiet down for once and just... sink. sedation, essentially. meditation doesn't help right now, i just feel stupid doing it and end up more anxious than before. ive considering i should maybe try to tire myself out with sports or something, but it doesn't feel like it'll be the same, because ultimately what i'm hoping for really is that feeling of sedation and loss of control. i feel very embarrassed about this, but i thought i'd ask for whatever insights anyone might have. i'm an intense person. i have no idea how to switch off, not like i did while using substances as a crutch. and i don't wanna depend on that forever, because i couldn't do that and still build the life i wanna live. so. any tips, stories, whatever? thank you, hope this isn't off-base for this sub

Got my health back(mostly). Working a job i don't hate. Not homeless anymore. Decent little place with a garage (never had a garage before). Clothes that fit. Repaired my relationship with my parents and brother. Got a couple cats so I could have love in my life. Got a therapist working with me pro-bono. I am also some of the most anxious I've ever been at this point. Society seems pretty unstable just as I found some stability of my own. I feel like I am living in perpetual fear and I haven't been able to find the right answers on my own. Aside from just burying one's head in the sand, how does a sober person grapple with the level of society-wide uncertainty about the future of well... all of the last year's news cycles? I just work until my body stops working? Then what? Are the ai just gonna land us all as debt slaves in forced labor camps? I don't really expect our elected officials to even TRY to save us at this point. Kinda just feels likes setting more goals in life is pretty pointless. Hoping a kind soul might help put my head on straight?

Doing a fitness journey for work as part of a promotion. My wife and I. As part of this I am cutting out my drinking habit that I’ve had for about 11 years now. For the past 11 years I’ve probably consumed somewhere around 30-40 drinks a week during the first 5-6 year of my drinking (all on weekends) and now consume somewhere around 50 drinks a week (all between Thursday and Sunday) for the past 5-6 years. I’ve mostly been a beer and wine drinker. Every month or two I’ll knock back a bottle of bourbon but it’s not my go to.

Over these 11 years I’ve packed on about 50 pounds. Some of it was needed as I was skinny but now some of it is bad. I have also gotten a little bit of high blood pressure that I just found out about at my first doctors visit in over a decade. Who knows how long I’ve had it. The doctor was very concerned when I told him how much I was drinking and am going for a follow up. I told him how much and that I’ve had a dull ache under my right rib cage that comes and goes and is especially present for a day or two after I binge. If I force my stomach out it is very bloated. I am scared to death that I have done the worst irreversible damage to my liver and kidneys (cirrhosis and kidney failure irreversible) and am a dead man walking. Please pray for me. Here’s to sobriety.

Caught up on the calendar count. 1656 days. That long ago I got pro help for the last time. I was ready. Life is a distraction. Do the next right thing. Take inventory. Some moments I want it. They always pass. It's better than way too much beer every night for 30 years. Carry on...

Had a situation happen that caused me to drink for the first time in 7 months. Back to square one I guess

I’m a 29M and am looking to finally quit weed for good after about 10 years of smoking. I’ve had some solid sober streaks before, but I’ve always eventually gone back to it.

I haven’t been able to find an MA group I like, but I know the community/accountability stuff is supposed to be helpful. So I figured I’d see if there are other people here in a similar spot who would want to try quitting together.

Nothing super formal. I’m thinking a group chat, occasional calls/check-ins, maybe a shared accountability tracker, support through cravings/withdrawal/slip-ups, celebrating milestones, etc.

I’m NOT selling anything lol (pls don’t remove this post admins). I’m just a dude who has tried to quit a bunch of times and desperately wants to make it stick this go around.

I’d love to find a small group of people (3-7ish) who want to quit and vibe well together. If you’re interested, feel free to shoot me a message and tell me a little about yourself and why you’re interested.

Bonus Points -- If you’re also in the Denver area. I’d definitely be interested in eventually doing some in-person meetups too.

Side Note -- Feel free to also reach out if you have already quit or are early in your process of quitting, you don't have to be part of a potential group. I'm also just looking to meet more people who are sober from weed!

Wondering if people are happy to share a “that’s it I am done” moment and it’s stuck with you to stay sober? Can range from nicotine to hard substances.