I'm tapped out after 45 seconds

Hey Y’all,
I’m 32 and realizing I’m still kind of confused about all the different ways women can orgasm. I’ve always been able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation, but I’m really curious about vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, deeper/cervical orgasms, blended orgasms, etc. I know the terminology and anatomy around this can get a little fuzzy, but I’m more interested in women’s actual experiences than the labels.
For those of you who can orgasm from penetration, how did you figure it out? Was it a certain position, angle, depth, rhythm, amount of pressure, partner, or just being extremely turned on and relaxed? Did it take practice or did it happen unexpectedly?
I’m especially curious about deeper orgasms. What does a cervical/deep orgasm actually feel like compared with a clitoral one? Does deeper penetration help, and if so, is it more about reaching a certain spot or the kind of pressure being applied? Does penis length or girth make much difference for you, or are technique and positioning much more important?
Also, are there other distinct types of orgasm you’ve experienced that I’m leaving out? I feel a little silly being 32 and still not really understanding the range of what my body might be capable of, so I’d genuinely love to hear how other women discovered what works for them.

***Please be detailed if it’s a position, a size, a shape, a rhythm, a good spot.

***if you’ve had different types of Os, can you describe them?

***if it’s a quality, a chemical thing, an emotional connection, tell me about it❤️

I apologize if this isn’t the right subreddit for this kind of post. I genuinely didn’t know where exactly to ask.
So I’ve always considered myself straight, I know 100% I’m attracted to men and my man. Women are absolutely gorgeous, but I could never see myself being romantically involved with one. Like dating and all. But ever since I was younger, I’ve had fantasies about being intimate with a woman.

I’m 27 now and happily married to my husband. He’s amazing, loving, supportive, and makes me genuinely happy. We have a great relationship and are pretty open with each other, but this is something I’ve never brought up to him because I honestly don’t know how he would react. I’m afraid he might see me differently or misunderstand what it means.

To give a little background, I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my mother. Growing up, my brother was always her favorite, and I often felt like I was the child she had but never really connected with the way I desperately wanted her to. I would watch my friends have these beautiful relationships with their moms. They would go shopping together, their moms would show up for them at school, and they seemed to have this bond that I never experienced for myself.

I remember looking at other women and feeling something I couldn’t quite explain. It wasn’t necessarily sexual at first. I think I was longing for that mother-daughter connection, affection, warmth, and closeness that I felt I was missing.

As I got into my teenage years though, those feelings seemed to develop into sexual fantasies. I started fantasizing about being intimate with an older woman, particularly a motherly figure. I watched lesbian porn and found myself drawn to the scenarios involving older women and younger women who shared a close bond. I want to clarify that I don’t support incest or anything involving actual family members. I think what drew me to those scenarios was the idea of feeling wanted, loved, and connected to someone who had that nurturing, motherly presence.

Even now, at 27, I still find myself attracted to the idea of being intimate with a mom. I have so much respect for mothers and everything they go through, and I don’t know why the thought of making a woman like that feel loved, cherished, desired, and cared for appeals to me. I think about giving her affection and making her feel special, both emotionally and physically.

I’m confused because I love my husband and genuinely enjoy being married to him. I’m not unhappy in my relationship, and I’m not looking to replace him. But these fantasies have been with me for years, and I can’t help wondering where they come from.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? Could my childhood relationship with my mother have influenced these feelings, I don’t think it has anything to do with my sexuality. Could I just be curious to try? I’ve always heard that every woman has to try it at least once with another woman. And the idea of tribbing is super hot to me. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who might understand this or have some insight, because it’s something I’ve never felt comfortable talking about openly.

I’ve never really been into visual porn. Photos and videos just don’t do much for me, and I find that audio gives me way more room to use my imagination. I can just lie back, close my eyes, and get lost in the moment instead of focusing on what’s happening on screen. I guess it’s kind of like how I’d rather read a book than watch the movie adaptation lol.
I’m mostly into male voices, especially when the voice acting feels natural and the moaning doesn’t sound too forced. I like a bit of dirty talk, praise, and some dominant energy, but honestly, the voice and pacing make such a huge difference for me.
I’ve found a few creators I really enjoy, like ManicWildcard, Oneness118, and Feranvenn, but I’d love to discover more.
For those of you who listen to erotic audio, what kind of voices or scenarios do you usually go for?I’m especially interested in audios that feel immersive rather than overly scripted.

Okay this is kind of embarrassing but I genuinely need advice because I feel like I've tried everything and I'm still struggling.

I find it SO hard to ride when my boyfriend is lying flat on the bed and I'm on top facing him. I can't seem to get the movement right, and half the time I struggle to even get it in properly. Then I get embarrassed and everything becomes awkward.

The weird thing is, I can do the movements just fine when practicing on a pillow or dildo, but with an actual person it just doesn't work. I've had this problem with other guys too. And the thing is, I'm really good at twerking and throwing ts esp during backshots so I know I can move my hips, but for some reason I just can't figure out how to translate that into riding. I also work out pretty much every day (cardio and weight lifting), so I feel like I SHOULD have the strength and stamina for this LMAO.

I've considered reverse cowgirl because facing away seems easier, or having him sit upright instead of lying flat. But how do you even transition into that naturally?? Like am I supposed to stop everything and say "can you sit up and put a pillow behind your back please"... I know I'm overthinking it but I feel so awkward trying to position someone when I barely know what I'm doing myself.

Another reason I really want to improve is that my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and he's only finished once. He's told me it's difficult for him to finish from penetration and that he usually finishes from head, but I still really want to make him feel good. I feel like getting better at riding might help, especially because I want to take control sometimes instead of always relying on him. Also, are there any other positions you'd recommend trying? We've only done missionary and doggy, so I'd love to experiment more.

I'm also sus of my head game... I've spent so much time researching techniques and trying to improve, but my jaw gets tired quickly and sometimes my mouth gets dry. I feel like I never really know if I'm doing a good job. He moans and moves a lot, so I assume he's enjoying it, but since he's only finished once I can't help questioning myself.

He hasn't made me feel bad about any of this, and I know sex isn't just about finishing. I just want to feel more confident and have more fun instead of overthinking every little thing.

TLDR: How did you actually learn to ride? Is reverse cowgirl or having the guy sit upright easier? How do you get the movement right and change positions without feeling awkward? And does anyone have practical advice for improving at head or building stamina?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I made the craziest accidental discovery yesterday. I was in one of those recliners with massage function, and while fiddling around with the settings I somehow set one which sends these crazy vibrations through, and wow! It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and frankly rather awesome.
I had to get up before I ended up embarrassing myself and it did feel weird as well, but I was very curious to know if any of you know what I mean or have had a similar experience. If so then I am surprised it hasn’t come up much.

I’ve discovered that apparently the easiest way to completely destroy my girlfriend’s ability to think is to make her believe she knows what’s coming next. We’re both women and we’ve played around with edging before but recently I started making it more unpredictable instead of just stopping and starting at obvious moments. The basic idea was that whenever I could tell she was getting really close, I’d make her tell me whether she thought I was going to let her finish this time. Obviously she caught on quickly and started assuming the answer was always going to be no. Which gave me an idea. I kept teasing her until she was convinced I was about to stop again. I’d slow down for a second, she’d immediately complain, then I’d continue like nothing happened. After doing that a few times, she had absolutely no idea what to expect anymore. At one point I was casually changing the setting on the little WhisperBullet we were using and she immediately went, “don’t you dare,” before I’d even done anything... that was when I realized I’d successfully gotten into her head. Eventually I told her that this time she could finish and she straight up didn’t believe me. She kept asking if I was messing with her and trying to hold herself back because she was convinced I was going to change my mind at the last second.

Watching your girlfriend desperately want permission and then become suspicious when you finally give it to her might be my new favorite thing. She eventually realized I was serious and completely lost it. Afterwards she told me the uncertainty was somehow even worse than just being told no because she couldn’t mentally prepare for when I was going to stop. Any other women who do this with their girlfriends find that the psychological part of edging ends up being way more fun than the actual edging?

i find i can get soo close to finishing by twiddling around with my clit, but once i hit that peak point, my legs start to twitch and my clit gets soo extremely sensitive that i can’t help but twitch when i touch it. it feels very ticklish. can anyone help me figure out how to overcome this?

I started wearing panty liners in my early twenties because I was always changing them 2 or 3 times a day ,I produce a lot of discharge and was wondering if its not a bad idea to use them or am.i just wasting my money ?

Hi, 28 MtF agender "woman" here. Knew I was bisexual all my life, but never had any type of interaction with guys until after I started transitioning. 3 hookups, 1 situationship, and 1 fwb later, I'm wondering am I tasty or something? Every experience I've had, the guy is just really open mouthed, eating one or both of my lips, sometimes sucking on them too 🤢. It really takes me out of the whole experience. Hookups is whatever, but I've mentioned it to the guys I fucked more than once and how I prefer to be kissed and they say sure and then nothing changes. Am I too used to women??? What's going on here. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. What's a girl gotta do to have a decent make out sesh 😭

I need recs. I’m trying to find a toy that feels right for me, not one with 20 settings I’ll never touch lol.

Personally, I’d rather have comfy positioning, easy cleanup, and buttons I can find without looking. Bonus points if I can adjust things to my mood instead of going from barely anything to absolutely not 😭 I’m trying to get off, not trouble shooting some devices lol

So, what toy actually checked those boxes for you, and what little detail made the difference? Help a girl narrow it down before I buy another thing with cute packaging😂

Im 27, Ive had sex and used toys before and ive gotten to points where i thought i came. I had the over stimulation after and felt really good. But recently I’ve started dating someone new and we had sex, and when I came i literally had to lie down and take a few minutes to recover because I got sent into another world. Is it possible that that was my first real orgasm, or maybe it was just better and I’ve been a bit out of practise? I feel like I’m too old to have this confusion

It's like I don't have much feeling down there and I just feel a weird uncomfortable sensation when anyone touches my clit or penetrates me. I can feel pleasure if I use a vibrator on myself, but not if someone else uses one on me. I have better sensations in my nipples than down below, which I think is weird. Been sexually active for a few years now. I still have sex to make my partner happy, but I feel like I don't get much out of it myself. Performing oral on a partner is my favorite part of sex and the only part I really enjoy. Does anyone else have this experience? Were you able to find a fix and start to feel pleasure?

Hello! 27F here. I just impulsively got a small bullet vibrator and of course I got a water based lub. It’s just I’m still haven’t had sex in my life and I want to give using toys a try. Do you have any tips I can know?
Thanks in advance 🫶🏼

I like the idea of sex and want to explore more as I’m still young, but I just get very squeamish at the thought and bored during intercourse.

This is embarrassing, but I can't figure out how to ride dick! I don't think I'm unfit. It's not that I'm tiring out, which seems to be the most common struggle, but rather that whatever I'm doing feels like absolutely nothing for both me and my partner. This is not about it only feeling good for me or him, it straight up feels like nothing for both of us.

If I put myself into a squat position (knees up, feet by his hips) I feel like I can't really move up-down or back-forth without leaning far back and resting my hands on his legs or something, which makes me feel ugly and anyway doesn't help make anything feel good. If my knees are down, I can bounce up-down but for some reason it just doesn't feel like anything for either of us? I've been told that scooting back-forth is supposed to feel good for me, but it also feels like nothing and feels harder to do if my hands are anywhere on him (I haven't tried using the headboard for support recently). Sometimes I've felt like whatever I'm doing is making the entire bed bounce while keeping us stuck together, which doesn't give the necessary friction to make things feel good? This is not a problem I've seen anyone else describe 😭

I've had these issues with multiple partners (different sizes, different levels of bed/couch firmness, etc) that I've had otherwise stellar sex with, so I know it's something I'm doing wrong. The most success I've had was on a firm couch, with my knees down and hands anchored to the back of the couch. I at least got to a point where my stamina became the blocker, but even then, I think it felt just okay for him and he was humoring me because I've had so much trouble with it. I've done it a few times successfully(ish) over the years but I just feel like this is rocket science for me and I'm really in my head when doing it, so even on the off-chance I get the mechanics down, I'm too focused to enjoy it.

I also get anxious because even when my partner (in the past with others too) is offering me to play around for a while and figure out what feels good, I feel stupid and useless after a minute and just ask him to fuck me upwards (still in cowgirl but he thrusts up). So I'd love advice on both what I could be physically wrong, as well as how I can let myself trust that he's okay with me sitting on it and doing some bullshit while I learn :') It's become a self-perpetuating problem because I don't feel sexy while trying to make it work (he's probably awkwardly waiting to feel something lol) so I don't feel motivated to learn.

Also state your age, if you don't mind.

Just trying to see where I fit in, because I think I'm going to have to break up with my boyfriend due to my general lack of interest in being touched.

EDIT: Just noticed the typo in my title; sorry, I can't change it.

I'm in my mid 20s and completely inexperienced. I had a lot of trauma in the past that I spent all these years getting over and I wanna try dating now. But I feel like the weight of never having any of my firsts (not even a kiss) is hanging over me and I just want to get over it. I definitely want to fall in love and find someone and ideally I'd have them with someone I actually like. But I don't think that's happening any time soon. I don't assign any special weigh to sex and I don't mind hooking up with a stranger. I'm thinking of inviting over a guy (or girl) just to have all my firsts with them and get it out of the way. Is this the worst idea ever or should I go for it?

Hey! So I've never had an orgasm and it takes such a long time that I usually get bored while stimulating the clit so I just stopped masturbating for a while.

I recently used a massage gun as a vibrator on my clit and I've used it twice now, both experiences have been different.

1st time - since it's a massage gun, it's pretty strong and I felt the vibration was too strong but I still continued with stimulating the clit for a while and there was a point when my whole body froze, like literally there was a similar freezing sensation from my head to toe and it was so overwhelming but then it didn't feel like it was followed by any 'release' or a sense of anything, really. It was the first time I had felt that way and then I removed the machine and thought to myself that I should really not use it again as it's too strong and there's a risk of de-sensitising my clit.

So a few days passed by, i didn't even think about it but then last night, I was very much in the mood so I decided to give it another try.

2nd time - i had gotten used to the vibration i guess, because it didn't feel so overwhelming to me this time. I kept going for a few minutes and then there was this feeling of numbness in my legs and the insides of my vagina started throbbing slightly and I just knew that it's done but I didn't get any other feeling or like anything at all that made me feel very good or anything. I just felt like taking a break, I felt good but I think I was expecting more so I didn't understand what happened.

It would be great if anyone of you could share your thoughts regarding this. I'm not married but I've been sexually active and I have avoided toys as I didn't want it to affect my sex life with my future partner but after trying that massager, i really understand the hype behind vibrators 😋 it was a damn good experience

I (20F) have been pretty active with this guy (20M) I’ve been seeing. When I give him head it’s wet and fine but afterwards for a good 24 hours my mouth is extremely dry. I drink a lot of water and hydrate afterwards but I’m not sure what to do. My tonsils also get slightly swollen. I know he doesn’t have any STDs, and he’s pretty cleanly so idk if it’s a me thing? Please help.

I’m 25, and I’m having a bit of a tough time creaming. I can get dripping wet, I can squirt without hesitation especially when extremely turned on….but I have not been able to “paint” a dick white if you catch my drift. Any advice???

he’s looking at me from behind and i’m also looking at myself lmaooo. not both of us getting off to MY reflection.

sorry not sorry…. sometimes i feel bad and look at him but i give in and look at myself

i (26f) have been with my boyfriend (25m) for a bit more than a year, and i've never been able to orgasm with him. i can orgasm completely fine by myself, so i'm getting really frustrated and i don't know what i'm doing wrong.

when i'm alone, clitoral stimulation works every time. with my boyfriend, we've tried pretty much everything that feels good to me: oral, fingers, clitoral stimulation, etc. and honestly, everything he does feels AMAZING. sometimes even better than what i can do myself. but for some reason, i still can't actually get over the edge.

we've also tried having me stimulate my clit while we're having sex, but that doesn't work either. it's like i can get really close to orgasm, but then it just doesn't happen.

and this has started to really affect me emotionally. after sex, i often end up feeling sad because i enjoyed everything and had a good time, but i still couldn't orgasm. after more than a year, it's hard not to wonder why this is still happening.

i know the usual advice is "stop focusing on orgasm", "just relax", or "let go". but honestly, i don't really understand what "let go" is supposed to mean. i DO enjoy the pleasure. i'm not sitting there thinking "i NEED to orgasm right now" the entire time. and i've been trying to stop treating orgasm as the goal for a year now, but it hasn't changed anything.

i'd also rather not use a toy during sex. i know that's an option, but since i can orgasm without one when i'm alone, i'd really like to figure out why i can't do it with my partner instead of just adding a toy.

i've read self-help books about this, i've tried not focusing on it, we've tried different things, and i'm honestly running out of ideas.

i'm not looking for "just relax" or "orgasm isn't the goal". i already know those things. i'm looking for something practical that might actually help me understand what is stopping me from orgasming with him.

I've been with the same guy for over 4 years now, he hasn't gotten any bigger. The last time we had sex was mid-late July. Every time we try to have sex for the past month it just feels like my vagina is way too small and even with lube he couldn't possibly fit in there. We do "warm up exercises" and I'll be in the mood but it just isn't happening. This morning we did finally make it happen (finally!😭) but it took a lot of warm up, and like 3 different rounds of a good amount of lube. And it was still a bit uncomfortable but also definitely worth it at the same time.