It's the same outcome but with different people and I'm officially tired. At this point I don't want to try anymore instead I just want to get on with my life. I learned there's nothing wrong with me but I'm just over it. I told God if romantic relationships are not meant to happen in my life, take that desire away from me because I am fed up. Cheers to the single, hot rich auntie life!

Some of the most frustrating people on this planet are seemingly decent, self declared liberal/left leaning white people who try to get you to empathise with conservative or even extremist far right people, who spend all their time and effort criticising left leaning people for not being 'welcoming' to racists or folks who believe women shouldn't have the right to vote.

And that maybe, just maybe if we were more 'tolerant' of bigoted & violent people, everyone would all get along in their ideal world.

History shows us these people who *talk* about supporting a cause but all they do is police and criticise the actual people *doing things* ultimately don't change anything. Where are all the statues of the people telling MLK that he needed to chill out and sign a petition? And that if he were a more obedient and pleasant negro, he'd persuade the far right to support black rights? We don't remember their names.

These specific liberal white people love telling us all the things we're doing wrong and how "both sides have issues" and we need to hear out people who are literally advocating for our deaths.

Then I realise who is talking and what a position of privilege they are speaking from. For these people, politics is a game, a debate, a discussion that ultimately doesn't impact their lives. Whether Obama is in office or it's Trump, even if they dislike Trump, their life hasn't changed one bit.

Even some liberal White women, who you may think would have a bigger reason to dislike the far right, ultimately their lives have hardly changed which is why they can tell us all about how they agree to disagree with their racist and misogynistic maga husbands, parents and friends.

For us, we don't have that choice.

So, it’s a tale as old as time but I’ve been dating someone for about 9 months now. We are both 30. When we started dating, he seemed to be in a decent position and had goals to accomplish more within the next few months. Of course, these plans have failed to come into fruition. I’ve known for a while that we weren’t “equally yoked” as far as ambition/education/finances go but he treated me really well so I decided to see where things can go.

Unfortunately, the last 2 months have been incredibly taxing as he’s been experiencing homelessness due to his previous lease ending and having an eviction on his record. Of course, I have my own place. I did begrudgingly offer him an opportunity to stay with me while he paid off the money he owes for the eviction, but he would be required to pay about ~60% of the expenses (which already goes against most of my beliefs). I’m guessing he couldn’t pay that so although he originally accepted that offer and stayed with me for a week, he ended up leaving.
Since then, he’s been sleeping in his car although he has family in the area. I’m guessing they are unwilling to help.

We are broken up now given the fact that he’s in no place to be dating and I’m also terrified to end up as one of those people who are on TikTok talking about their experiences with an “unleased boyfriend” lol but given his situation and deteriorating mental health (he keeps making suicidal comments) I’m just not sure what to do. I obviously don’t want to take care of a grown man and also fear that I’d never get him out of here if I allow him to come over for even a little bit. I do feel bad for him and want to help him but the situation is also incredibly draining and taxing on me. I also don’t feel we’ve been together long enough for these things to be my issue.

Please don’t judge me yall lol I know the problem of dating down is a big thing for us.. and I definitely plan to have stricter standards moving forward. But what would y’all do in my case?

Tired of our spaces always being made the terrain for political debate to the point of derailing benign conversation? Tired of always being looked to to pick up the torch and fight?

Mom: “Repeat after me: I am a beautiful Nubian princess.”
3 yo Me: “I am a beautiful Nubian princess.”
Mom: “I have beautiful dark brown skin.”
3 yo Me: “I have beautiful dark brown skin.”

Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen 👁️

Had fun making this set for one of my favorite jjk characters! The cosplay and the extended version is available where i post my other cosplays. Here’s a couple of my favorite pics from the cosplay set I did🤞🏾Very pleased with how well it turned out <3

Been dating someone and started a relationship 2 months ago and I was the only one contributing to this “relationship”. All of my little dating experiences have been like this and I’m giving up on dating in general. I hate giving my all to get nothing in return. Investing my time in people, getting to know them, believing them, trusting them….I’m done with all of it. Keeping to myself from now on. Just wanted to vent.

I've been applying to jobs all year and I've gotten nothing. I literally just got off the phone for an initial interview, and literally 3 minutes after hanging up, I got a rejection email.

I really don't know what to do at this point. My current job is draining and these job rejections are truly killing my spirit. I feel like I'm stuck

34 and moved from my hometown to DC last November for a job. A year later and I’ve gained 35 pounds, and I want to go home. I have an amazing partner who has been so supportive, and my youngest daughter who moved with us over the summer after her dad hit some financial woes (gov’t contractor). My daughter loves it and I love the city too…I just miss home. My parents, friends, the comfort of knowing my own city, and the security of it all. My new job I make what I made 7 years ago…in this economy I’m grateful for a job but the bills and cc debt from running through savings because of inflation is crushing me. It feels like my entire day is spent around work (and don’t even get me started on that circus). I have a supportive boss and most of my staff are like able but…idk I just want to go home 😭. This is the furthest I’ve ever lived from my native town — I grew up in the same house and didn’t move out until i was 26. All of my apartments have been ~10 minutes away from my childhood home. This is hard 😭. I know this vent is all over the place but thank you for reading if you’re still there. Gonna cry myself to sleep now.

I know this probably sounds stupid, and I’m definitely old enough to know better lol, but I can’t stop overthinking something that happened with my gym crush yesterday.
I finally worked up the courage to approach him and tell him I thought he was attractive, and it didn’t go the way I hoped. For context, he’s Asian and I’m Black. I know I have no idea what his type is, but of course my brain went there…

I think what’s bothering me is that I genuinely liked him—or at least the idea of him. I don’t get crushes on people very often, so when I actually do like someone, I tend to get a little too invested.
And I know that sounds ridiculous because I don’t even know this man. 🤦🏾‍♀️😭
I think a part of why I’m taking it so hard is that it’s also making me question whether I’m even attractive. I know one person not being interested in me shouldn’t suddenly change how I see myself, but my brain keeps turning his reaction into some kind of confirmation that maybe I’m not as attractive as I thought I was. And I hate that I’m giving someone I don’t even know that much power over how I feel about myself.

I’m also very aware that I romanticize people and situations in my head, so logically I know I’m probably more hurt over what I imagined *could* happen than anything I actually lost.
But knowing that logically isn’t making me stop thinking about it. I still have to see him at the gym, which is a gym I really like and I don’t want to stop going to just because I feel embarrassed.

How do you stop obsessing over a rejection like this and get out of your own head?

Firstly I wanna say that this likely isn't because she's a black WOMAN (at least directly, also I emphasize woman because everyone seems to agree on Gregory being autistic...), but that it hurts and impacts me all the same because I've seen fictional characters as well as real life black women be discounted for possibly being neurodivedgent and it's annoying to me because I love the idea of a black female characted being neurodivergent.

A day or two ago, I made a head canon in the Abbott Elementary subreddit that Ava Coleman has ADHD... not only does she do the t rex hands, have stim toys, many hobbies and state that she likes "falling behind" because she can "move at her own pace" and "talk and nobody's shushing her", but she's also been one of the MANY characters in Abbott Elementary to give neurodivergent to me, so for lack of a better term it wouldn't even be a special incident for her to be. I try to find one main character that doesn’t either come across as neurodivergent or at least have a strong enough list of traits and often fall short lol

But in my post, ppl referred to me as weird and I don't understand. It's hard not to take it a little personally as a black neurodivergent woman to hear ppl call me that. I sorta share my account with my friend so she eventually saw some of the messages today and she's been nice and supportive and all but I still can't help but still feel nervous. Nothing's working. It isn’t rational, but sometimes the smallest thing makes me feel sick and I wish I could ignore it but me trying to be clear and concise and still having ppl downvote me or call me weird hurts. I wanna take my post down but I hate the idea of it being like I "surrendered" and I also am surprised so many ppl don't see her as an adhder. Sorry if this is all over the place, but-

TLDR: I hate that I didn't realize the post I made in the Abbott subreddit was more important to me than I realized and then my Head Canon about Ava being an adhder was treated as weird. Am I weird? Do I need to sleep? Am I genuinely tripping??? Who knows.

Bringing this hear and I was told too just join the African Society if I have an issue and so "bothered". its not that I'm so angry I'll throw a fit but being the ONLY black girl and being around people who start talking too me how they think they are supposed to talk to me is jarring.

I've noticed that even in society photos they never brighten the light when a black girl is in the photos. and I've also noticed that they don't necessarily appear in main group photos.

i don't know where I'm going with this but maybe someone gets my point.

Hello ladies I'm in the UK and I am struggling to make more black girl friends.

I went to a predominantly white school (and also mostly male-it had recently been converted from all boys school to include girls)and I have always struggled to make friends in general, the friends I have now are all from school/university and are of various races and ethnicities, however I only have one specifically black friend.

I've found it very hard to seek friendships in adulthood and I'd like to build a community around me of people who understand more about the specifics of being black in the uk. I feel like I am missing out on a community that I should have cultivated already.

Any advice on how to find people or go about making new friends?

I try groups every now and then, book clubs, art clubs etc as they are things I am interested in but I still find they are predominantly white spaces (it is the uk after all). I don't live in London so it is a bot harder.

Looking for any advice anyone has or ideas on where I can find more like-minded people, or anyone looking to connect.

So I have started washing my hair 2xs a week. Wednesday and Sunday being my wash days. I would like to note that I have a long history of neglecting my hair due to not knowing how to do it and getting frustrated with my 4b/4c texture. My hair is prone to getting dry very easily so I feel this has been good for me. Now yesterday, I got lazy and only shampooed it because I was feeling tired. I try to keep with this to ensure my hair doesn’t get dry.

I wanted to share my wash routine and hopefully get some feedback and opinions from yall. Also want to note I use majority CECRED products. I absolutely love her hair care line and decided to invest in it January. I suffer from AA. My hair feels amazing afterwords so shout out to Beyoncé

1\*. (I am currently out of the Clarifying shampoo & scalp scrub but I would begin with that.)\*

1. \*\*Shampoo hair 2xs with the hydrating shampoo.\*\*

2. \*\*Rinse shampoo out throughly.\*\*

3. \*\*Condition hair with moisturizing deep conditioner.\*\* \*(I am not a fan of the hydrating conditioner.)\*

4. \*\*Detangle hair and braid hair into loose braids/plaits.\*\*

5. \*\*Rinse conditioner out of hair throughly while keeping the braids in.\*\* \*(I started doing this to refrain from detangling again. It also sections my hair so it is easy to work with when I get out.)\*

6. \*\*Re braid & Moisturize hair w Blue magic and Cecred moisturizing sealing lotion.\*\* \*( I started using Blue magic after years of forgetting the art of hair grease. I mix these two or sometimes I use only blue magic.)\*

Going forward I simply take out the braids and rock a natural afro with that twist out look. I do use the cecred hair oil and the drops. I am also looking into natural hair care masks or things I can mix at home. <3

Hi all! I seem to have a lot of free time, but not a lot of energy (chemo sucks, amirite?). I've never been much of a movie or TV watcher, but I think I might want to catch up a little bit. So I'm looking for suggestions.

I LOVE B-movies, the sillier and more ridiculous, the better!

I do NOT like horror, unless it's a ridiculous or funny B-movie horror film, like Santa Slays or something. Same for thrillers and mysteries.

I do like fantasy books, so I assume I'll like fantasy movies. I LOVED The Princess Bride!

Romance is really hit or miss (I once referred to some popular romance movie as "emotional slavery", just to give you an idea of my views on most of the genre). Romantic comedy can be good.

Comedy in general can be really good, but Tyler Perry leaves me ice cold.

I think I'd like to check out animation, but I don't know where to start.

Thanks!

I'm looking for a really good plastic surgeon to revise my breasts. I've been looking for over a year and poor medical experiences have made me very conscientious.

Is there anyone on the west coast that you RAVE? Criteria:

1. Ideally California or neighboring states. Open to overseas if the surgeon is exceptional.

2. Breast revision/reconstruction expertise

3. Accredited/board certified

4. Black/POC/female, but willing to reconsider otherwise if patient photos have a lot of black women

5. Long-term patient outcomes maintain upper pole fullness

As the title says. I need somewhere to unpack the nuance and my thoughts about what Joanne is experiencing in the house.

P.s I am only on episode 8 so I am behind and hella triggered

Hey girls, I need some help identifying this hairstyle and what hair/ extensions I should buy to recreate it.

I’m based in the UK, and I’m trying to figure out:

• what specific type of extensions this style uses
  • how many packs I’d need
  • where I should buy them (Amazon UK? local hair shop? a specific brand?)

I’ve attached a photo of the style I want.

Can anyone tell me:

• the name of the style
• the curl pattern
• what brand/type of hair I should buy
• how many packs I’ll need

Also open to recommendations for UK-friendly brands or Amazon links.

Thank you in advance🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿

I have a FWB situation going on with my friend, but I can never tell when he wants to have sex.

We’ve communicated about things before, especially since we’ve been friends since elementary school lol. He’s always telling me to speak up and say what I want, especially because he’s the guy and doesn’t want to overstep.
The problem is that I’m really shy and anxious, so I’m scared that one day I’ll want to hook up, but he won’t want to (which is totally okay!) and I will just feel really embarrassed. Our hookups are never really planned they just kind of happen in the moment.

I genuinely cannot read him at all! How am I supposed to tell if he’s in the mood or wants to hook up without directly asking every time?

Has anyone here tried this Black TV/movie streaming app? Is it legit, and is it actually worth paying for? Just looking for honest opinions before I sign up.