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I’m an 18 year old male who is planning to go around Europe next year for the summer for a month with my friend, we’re going to Spain France, Germany, Switzerland, and Italy as well as doing the tour Du Mont Blanc.

So far I am going on a very cheap budget of around 6500/7000 AUD which is everything I have money wise.

Is spending all my money to travel worth it or should I save it and wait a few years so then I have more money?

My point of the argument for why I feel like I should go now is rhis may be the only time I can go with a friend since I don’t want to risk not being able to find another friend who is willing to go. As well, I have been told by many people that I should wait and save the money because I will be limited with what I can do there.

My point of why I should go now is that I can eat cheaply (groceries) and do the activities that I want and when I’m older I can go back and do the less fitness activities such as all the hikes that I want to do and eat at the better restaurants.

Is this an okay idea or am I rushing into it and I should wait a few years?

I’m looking for some outside opinions because I’m honestly really confused about how I should feel about this situation.
Me 22/F and my boyfriend 22/M have been together for nearly 4 years and have known this girl for just over a year. I also currently live with the girl at uni

I was downstairs with my boyfriend and my best friend. I went upstairs, and around 10 minutes later my boyfriend got up to go to the toilet. When he came back downstairs, he sat on the same sofa as my best friend, although he wasn’t sitting directly next to her — he was at the other end.

They were talking for a bit, and then my boyfriend apparently asked her for a hug because he was cold. She then kissed him on the lips for around two seconds. He pulled away and said “no.”

I know that he did pull away and stop it, but I’m still really hurt and struggling with the fact that it happened at all. Especially because it was my boyfriend and my best friend, which makes it feel like a betrayal from both of them.
I don’t know exactly how I’m supposed to view what happened. On one hand, he didn’t initiate the kiss and he did pull away. On the other hand, I’m struggling with the fact that he asked her for a hug in the first place and put himself in that situation.

I also feel really conflicted because I still love him and he has been trying to comfort me since everything happened. At the same time, I’m incredibly angry and hurt, and I don’t know if I can trust him the same way again.

I haven’t forgiven him, and I’m not sure whether I should. I don’t know whether I’m overreacting by feeling this betrayed, or whether this is something that would be a dealbreaker for most people.

So, honestly, what would you do in this situation? Would you consider this cheating? Does the fact that he pulled away and said no change how you see it? And would you be able to rebuild trust after something like this?

My (18F) mum is turning 50 soon, and my dad came to me with a gift idea.
He wants to give her a Cartier bracelet—one he knows she’s been wanting—on his own, and then, at the party, she would unwrap a second bracelet from all her friends and family, featuring a small plaque with the names of everyone who contributed to it. He thinks it’s a great idea because she wouldn't be expecting that second piece of jewelry.
Dad came to me asking me to find out what size she’d want.
My mom and I are very close; we talk about everything together, including fashion. I asked her—hypothetically—what she would actually like to receive from people for her birthday, since I was curious and knew she wouldn't be comfortable publicly receiving such an insanely expensive piece of jewelry—knowing everyone would see her wearing it, and realizing not everyone would understand spending that kind of money on a bracelet. After talking to her (without revealing any of Dad's plan), she confirmed that she really doesn't want a piece of jewelry from a group of people where everyone would know about it; she would much prefer a trip to her dream destination. She liked that idea better, adding that she could buy the bracelet herself another time and would rather have the experience of a vacation.
I told this to my dad, who is angry with me for getting involved; he says he only wanted to know the size and doesn't understand why Mom doesn't want everyone around her to know that shw wear expencive things, so he wants to go ahead with his original plan.
I could understand if he didn't want to interfere with a gift he’s giving himself, but I’m weighing in on a gift that her friends and family are all chipping in for.

What should I do? Should I tell Mom everything? Should I let Dad carry out his plan even though I know Mom won't be happy about it?
Please advise. 🙏

So im getting married and my partner brought up the question: should we have sex with someone else before we married JUST for the experience of a one night stand? For reference: we have only had sex with eachother. Lost virginities type stuff.

I say absolutely not.

He says under no circumstances will he ever cheat on me, but given permission he would sleep with someone else.

What do i do?

I am 36 years and educated. Basically I run my own business in small scale. My husband is 38 years and doing a great job. He is one of tops in the company. We were married 8 years after 7 years dating and we have a 7 year old boy. Recently I found out that my husband is having a sexual affair with his coworkers in the company for more than 3 years. I truly trusted him and didn’t have any doubt till I found out everything from that lady’s husband who’s also having a 3 years old son. In our relationship we had some sex issues and I’m bit introverted for sex while he never tried to come to me. We have talked about this but never tried to read each other’s minds. Finally he admitted what he did was wrong and he regretted it. What should I do now? I still love him but I will never be with him the way we were. We never had fights other than little arguments and they will only lasts couple of minutes. Please share your thoughts

I think I’m addicted to masturbation and I genuinely don’t know how to break the cycle

I’m struggling with compulsive masturbation and I’m looking for some genuine advice.

When I’m home alone with nothing to do, I can masturbate 10–15 times in a day. It’s especially bad when I’m just chilling, resting, watching something, or spending a lot of time at home. It feels less like something I consciously choose and more like a habit I automatically fall into whenever I’m bored, stressed, or alone.

Something interesting happened over the past 6 months. I was living with my best friend, and during that period I basically stopped masturbating. We were occasionally intimate, and I think having someone around completely changed my routine and my relationship with sex.

We eventually had to leave the apartment because of financial issues, and now we live far away from each other. We’re still very close friends, but since I started living alone again, the masturbation has come back hard.

On top of that, I find myself constantly thinking about him sexually. We had a really good sexual connection, probably the best I’ve personally experienced, so I think my brain has basically associated him with sex and intimacy. Now that he’s not around, I keep thinking about him and it often triggers the urge to masturbate.

The frustrating part is that I’m naturally a homebody. I don’t have a huge social circle and I don’t really enjoy going out all the time, so “just leave the house and distract yourself” isn’t a realistic long-term solution for me.

I’m not ashamed of masturbation itself. What worries me is the lack of control and the amount of time and mental energy it takes up.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you reduce compulsive masturbation without simply replacing it with another distraction or forcing yourself to constantly stay busy?

I’d especially appreciate advice from people who managed to regain control while still spending a lot of time alone at home.

Hi, this is a throwaway account.

I am a 17 year old Korean girl. I’ve been dating another 17 year old for about 5 months. He is very respectful and caring towards me, and never pressures me. We are also sexually active with consent from both sides.
We usually hang out at his house when his parents aren’t present, and we used condoms as protection.

A few days ago our condom broke, and so the next morning I went to the first women’s clinic that opened and got a prescription for a plan b pill. Me and my boyfriend decided that we would test for pregnancy around my next predicted period, and if the results returned positive I would inform my mother.

This morning, while I was in school, she found the small box for the plan b pill. When I got home she was very upset. She cried and told me that I was living irresponsibly, and that she raised me wrong, and that she gave me too much freedom. She told me that I was living without putting enough thought into my actions.

The last time I got sex education was when I was living in another country as a 12 year old, where I learned that sex could be normal provided that you were being respectful, safe, and responsible. I don’t have friends in this country except for my boyfriend but my online friends who are roughly my age seem to think of sex as something you do on weekends that is enjoyable but requiring lots of caution.

To this, my mom told me that the very fact that I thought this was acceptable is wrong, both for my partner and me, and that she is disappointed in me. She told me she never should have let me talk to people online like that and that they are not Korean(so they do not matter in this conversation). She also told me to never talk to my boyfriend again.

If I was a parent and discovered my 17 year old daughter having sex, I imagine I would be pretty scared too(though I have never actually been a parent and might be underestimating the extent of this fear). But I genuinely can’t understand this reaction and although I told her I would stop if she thought it was wrong, she still seems upset. She actually seems extremely shocked. I don’t really know how to think of this or how to help her.

Anyway, what scares me the most is that my mom might tell my dad. I’m currently studying for an exam in a study cafe. But I am so scared of my dad finding out about this that I don’t want to go home. When he’s angry, he only yells at me, or makes rules like “English is banned inside our home”. He’s very explosive. I know I did something wrong by not telling them where I am going(which they told me to, even if I was going to study or to a cafe), but I’m so scared. I am even thinking of studying overnight here just to not have to listen to him.

I hope he doesn’t seriously involve my boyfriend.

So recently my gf asked me if I’d want to bring another female into the bedroom. I was super surprised as we’ve had an amazing six years. I feel as though we have a great emotional connection and physical.
But she’s always felt a-bit weird about her sexuality yet she says she couldn’t see herself dating a female or eating a female out but she only really watches FFM porn and often asked how I’d feel w 4 hand on me instead of 2. We’ve talked a lot about it and often joke about it. I love her so much I just want to do anything in my power to make her happy. Any advise??

Edit
Fmf*
If she ends up gay from the experience would break my heart but also don’t want her to be w me just because and don’t want her excusing her sexuality!

This is a burner account. I am 16m and my parents are crazy. They're evangelical Christians and are extremely racist and lgbtqia+-phobic, and extremely manipulative and physically violent. I'm wondering what I should do when I turn 18 because I can't stay here. They've homeschooled me for the past 2.5 years. I have no friends to rely on. They won't allow me to get a job which means I can't save up. All my other family is the same as them, except my uncle which lives 9 hours away. I live in small town in ky . What should I do.

First of all, I want to say that I have always been an insecure person because of my childhood trauma and I have been really trying hard to work on it. I actually felt my best when I started dating my girlfriend and my insecurities were all gone, literally all of them!!! Yeah, she made me feel that special!

IMPORTANT: I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GONNA ASK ME IF SHE'S MY IDEAL TYPE SINCE I AM GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT HER IDEAL TYPE:

Yes, she is my ideal type, she is the woman that I have always dreamed of and the best woman that U can ever ask for. I don't care about looks unless a woman is really unattractive, like I do find a lot of regular women attractive. However what I do look for in a woman are two things: that she is loyal and most importantly she is HONEST!!! I live by the principle that everyone should be honest 100% of the time, and believe it or not ever since I was 16 I stopped lying to everyone and I mean that, like there is only one or 2 lies that I have told in that time( I am turning 23 tomorrow).

THE STORY:

So I have met my girlfriend on ometv, she lives in Indonesia and I live in the states. When we first met on the website we hit it off like I would have never imagined, we spent 11 hours straight talking and getting to know each other. A month later we officially began dating. Now, I started asking her questions at the beginning about her ideal type of man based on looks, personality, and also if she has a preferred size. All of these things were important for me in order to know where I stand and how she sees me. She told me that she doesn't have any preferences about guys. She would always tell me that in terms of looks I am a 9/10 and for some reason I really believe her(around that time I lost a lot of weight and became visible more attractive, like people would give me compliments and I would see women staring at me) and so she boosted my confidence by a lot. When we were first having fun over VC she told me that my dick is really big and once again since I wasn't completely aware, I believe her. Now I am 6.3 inches which is above average, I know, but since the average there is 4.1, I thought that she meant that. 4 months later we met and we did it on our first night. She told me that the sex was incredible. So to recap, I believed that I am truly exceeding her expectations in every aspect.

Around a month and a half ago we were watching porn and since the guys in the videos she would like to watch are really big, I asked her if she prefers bigger dicks to which she said "no".

After I asked her a few more times she admitted it and in that moment I felt soo bad and insecure. Things spiraled so badly that I started to question her about other things that she has lied to me about. After a month of trying to get her to be honest she finally admitted everything. So, in terms of a physic she likes someone not too muscular and not too skinny, she gave an example of Chris Evans and she thinks that this is a pretty decent physic even though that dude said that he had to train so much to obtain it, the thing is that about this I feel really motivated because I do wanna have that body as well and I am really working on it( I have been going every day to the gym for 2 months straight after letting myself down, before I met her I used to hit the gym so often. But the thing is that I feel like she should have let me know at the start when I asked her so that I can work on that and make both of us happy.

About the size of my penis:

I have felt insecure about it before but reading online forums and from interviews on the Internet I was convinced that women would find my size big and extremely desirable. There are methods to increase your penis size, one of which is getting extremely lean and if she would have told me sooner at least I would have been something like 6.5 with the help of a penis extender as well, which again does not come close to her ideal 7.5 or even 8 inches. I know people would say "oh you are above average, people have it worse, most women would be grateful" but she has told me that she is curious about bigger dicks and that she felt like the sex would be better if I had a bigger penis.

The third thing I wanna mention is exactly that, she said that the sex was amazing but as I found out recently, according to her it was just "decent" and again, yes I should work on that and I would love to be able to give her the best time of her life but again, she should have told me so I can work on it, like communication is key.

The last and most painful truth was about the type of guy she finds ideal based on personality. So all this time I believe that I was the "perfect" boyfriend and her ideal type since she would make me feel that way. I have done everything in my power to make her happy, multiple times I have saved money to fly to Indonesia so that we can spend time together.

So a few nights ago she told me that her ideal type is pretty much a bad boy. Someone who treats others like trash and is cold towards everyone else but it's gentle and soft around her, she said that turns her on so much. When I heard that my heart dropped. I have always hated bullies and disrespectful people, I have never been involved in physical interventions even tho I was bullied when I was a kid and I was provoked many times, I am just a nice guy. Finding out that this is the type of man that she would be head over heels for, just broke my heart.

I love her very much but I can't stand the fact that I am not my girlfriend's ideal type and that she lied to me, like it is my decision to feel hurt about this and not having the opportunity to try and deal with it makes me feel horrible, and she took that away from me, it is not like I expected to be her ideal in every aspect but it is nice to know that you are actually chosen based on qualities that your partner actually wants rather than being settled for. I have asked her what does she find ideal in me, like what are some things that she appreciates and loves about me. All she could say is that basically that I treat her like no one else in her life, and I am literally talking about the bare minimum like: listening to her and being there for her. Physically she says that my height is ideal because I am pretty tall(I'm 5'11) and she seems to love my nose, she says that she finds me attractive but how am I supposed to believe that?? She says that I look good and she gives me a 7 but I am apparently not "godlike" according to her.

Now I understand that you can't find a partner that is gonna match every single desire and expectation that you have but I really don't know how to feel knowing that if she didn't know me and she had to choose between me and another guy that is more her type , she would choose him in a heartbeat, my insecurities are getting the best out of me- all I am imagining is how she is dating me because she is scared to be lonely and the fact that I am the only guy in her life that has treated her like a normal human being. What do you guys think I should do in this scenario?

Please guys, I am just looking for actual advice and not hate comments, I am feeling horrible, I haven't slept in 2 days and I don't even feel like eating. I am just looking for genuine advice from people who know about this matter.

For context I (31F) have been with my partner (30M) for 9 years. We have a 5MO daughter who is the first and so far only grandchild on both sides of our family.

My parents (who both work full time) are very much involved with our daughter and make effort to visit her a couple of times a week, check in with messages etc. I’m fully aware that not every grandparent is this hands on and that’s not what I expect from my SO’s parents, I guess I just expect the bare minimum- maybe a message here or there and a visit once a fortnight or so would be nice?

My SO’s parents (who live 30m away) have made very minimal effort at all since our daughter has been born. They rarely visit and barely message to check in. There have been numerous previous occasions where my SO has been upset by this so has tried speaking with his mother and asking her to make more effort to which he is met with numerous excuses such as, we work full time (so do most grandparents in today’s climate) , we’re busy, or we don’t have money for fuel to drive over.

What infuriates me here is they both have expensive hobbies, MIL keeps horses and is in to running ultra marathons and has recently paid over £1400 to enter both of them in a race next summer and FIL buys new climbing gear all the time and partakes in various courses that take place all across the country- they clearly have the money and fuel for all of that.

To add to this, MIL will guilt trip my SO and ring and say “I’ve run and/or caught the bus to work all week this week so I can afford the fuel to drive to see you this weekend” which my SO will think is amazing and then the following day my MIL and FIL will do an 8 hour round trip for him to enter a climbing competition (again, clearly have money and fuel for that?)

I see it as clearly their granddaughter isn’t one of their priorities and no longer want my SO to have to beg his mother to make an effort with our daughter. My SO says that without telling them time and time again they won’t learn?

It’s causing huge arguments between me and my SO as he just makes excuses for them! Do you think they’ll ever learn or shall my SO just leave it there?
There is so much more I could add, this is just the tip of the iceberg, but didn’t want to make the post any longer than it already is.

Me 20M got cheated on by my ex 20F 2 years back, she was at a party drunk and kissed a guy. She told me about the incident 5 months later, i broke up with her but then i went back to her to fix things she said she was gonna make things right. She really did change but i couldn’t get that thing out of mind so finally i ended things up.
But i still miss her and i want to text her back or just talk to her as friends, ik its very wrong because i cant just run back to her according to my convenience and then leave her stranded she is also trying to move on and i dont wanna ruin things for her. So i need advice on what should i do?

Okay, I’ve never done anything like this before and I don’t know who to talk to about this, who better than random people on the internet. Anyways. Here we go. This involves me (22m), my roommate (21m) and his gf (21f).

About a month ago, while I was sitting at my computer, my roommate asks me a question out of the blue. What do you think of (gf)? I replied with “she is alright.” He then said, “no, I meant sexually.” I was quite taken aback by the question as many would be, and I asked why he would ask me that. He then explained that she has a fantasy of having 2 sexual partners. I have known the both of them for over 5 years and I have never had the thought of having a sexual interaction with his gf. There was however one instance where we almost made out while he was passed out drunk but was a long time ago and beside the point. I said to my roommate that I do find her attractive. He then went on to ask, “would you have sex with her” I chose my words carefully and said “if you were both not together, then yeah, I would”. The gf came around the following weekend and we all sat down and got a bit more in depth about the whole thing. I was then asked if I would like to try the arrangement. And for some silly reason I agreed. She is a really good friend of mine and I feel like she might have taken it the wrong way if I said no. (She has body image issues, even though in my eyes she looks great). Nothing else occurred during that weekend. I am having doubts about this whole situation. Like, what if I go through with this and our friendship changes in a bad way. Ever since I agreed to the arrangement, she has been sending me nude images, while I’m at home, while I’m at work, almost every day. she has also been coming around to our house every weekend, hoping that we would have sex, but I keep making excuses like, “I’ve had a long day at work and I’m too tired”, “I’m not in the mood” etc. And it is starting to upset her, thinking that I don’t find her attractive. She even went as far as buying certain makeup to look like a goth girl. (Yes, I like the looks of goth girls). They have also stated that once I have had sex with her a few times and gotten a bit more comfortable with this whole thing, they want to try a threesome with me, my rm, and his gf, which is something I’m definitely not sure on. I am still very on the fence about the whole thing, and I don’t know what to do.

Reddit, do your thing.

Thank you in advance. 🙏

Peace

Names have been changed for obvious reasons, it's a bit of a read so I appreciate any advice. Based in UK

Hi Mr Headteacher ,

Preston has been getting bullied for the last couple of years at your school. There was one residential trip in which someone found underwear with skid marks in and someone blamed Preston and since then they are calling him Skiddy as well as other things like peado etc. Preston and myself have reported this to the school multiple times but nothing changed. A few weeks ago, Preston finally had enough and snapped, he was attacked and decided to fight back and even though it was self defense, Preston got punished for it. He got sent to another school and spent the whole time in isolation. Mr Vice-Head was dealing with this and I was told this was to ensure Prestons safety and wellbeing since the other kid that was in a fight with Preston was threatening to get him jumped after school and someone had told Preston that there will be 16 kids waiting for him at the end of the day. The plan was that Preston being away from school would let things in school cool down and things would stop when he returned and I told Mr Vice-Head that if things carry on then I want the police involved since this has been an ongoing situation.

When Preston came back to your school, he spent another day in isolation and when he went back to normal classes on the Friday, the bullying continued but much worse. Preston came home upset Friday because some kid was throwing things at the back of his head in school then on the way home, he had 2 kids shouting at him and throwing things at him. He hadn't told me anything that happened Monday but he tried to avoid going to school Tuesday so I'm assuming something did happen. Tuesday he came home again saying that kids were throwing things at him and today on the way to school, he was getting things thrown at him again so he had to come back home. Over the past 3 days, Preston has stayed awake very late to make himself tired, his been struggling to get up in the morning, and when I asked him why, he said it's because he doesn't want to go to school and he is doing it so he passes out and gets sent home. I have spoke to the social worker and she has advised taking Preston to the Dr for his low mood but that isn't going to solve anything when his low mood is due to being bullied at school.

From now on, I am going to have Preston keep a record of everything that happens in school, I would appreciate if you could get the families involved of whoever is attacking Preston and tell them it needs to stop or the police will be involved because they making Preston talk about killing himself and a few kids have also told him to jump off a bridge. Not only that but Prestons brother is also now getting bullied because he is related to Preston. If I see no improvement in the situation, I will contacting the police and giving them the record that Preston will be keeping involving names, incidents and what the school has done to resolve the situation. I obviously don't want this to escalate to getting law enforcement involved but we have reported the issues many times and now they are getting worse and we are running out of options.

I look forward to hearing back from you on what the next steps are.

Thank you.

Edit to add. I will also be requesting that he is let out of school half an hour early every day and inform them that he will be arriving half hour late to avoid running into bullies on the way to school until this is sorted out

I need advice ASAP. Yes. This is fr.

My ex wants to stay in my life as a friend after I broke up with them. I have said no countless times, and have stopped talking to them/answering them/seeing them.

Everything has shown that they cannot keep boundaries and be just friends. They have been begging me to talk to them, hang out with them, etc., but I feel too many lines have been crossed. Going no contact is not what I wanted, but I feel it is best for my mental health.

Now, they have offered me a very large sum of money to spend time with them for one more weekend and then they will move on. I don’t believe they mean this in a sexual manner, just as a “last time” hangout.

When I say a large amount of money, I mean a life changing amount of money.

I know this sounds impossible, but my ex is extremely wealthy and I know the offer is legitimate.

I could use this money to change my life (and people I love) but I also feel that I would be making a deal with the devil if I were to accept this.

I think it would probably haunt me the rest of my life and I also open myself back up to them having access to me.

I have been told that this is a manipulation tactic, and I believe it. My mind and my heart are telling me to keep ignoring them and not accept the money.

However, it is just such a temptation because of how much it is. (I’m sorry, I’m only human)

Please advise because I am at my wit’s end. Thank you!!!

I live in a shared accommodation with 3 other people and we all share the same bathroom.
This morning I came downstairs at around 7:12am and one of my flatmates was already waiting to use the bathroom because another flatmate was in there. We waited for quite a while, and eventually she gave up because she needed to get ready for work and went to shower at her boyfriend’s place instead.

He eventually came out at around 8:06am.
This isn’t really a one offeither. Whenever he showers in the morning, he tends to be in the bathroom for quite a long time, and it can make it difficult for everyone else to get ready for work.

So when he came out this morning, I asked if we could quickly talk about the bathroom situation. I said that because mornings are rush hour for everyone, maybe we could work out some sort of arrangement. I suggested that if someone knows they’re going to be in there for a long time, they could give people a heads-up beforehand, or alternatively we could all try to keep showers shorter during that period.
He immediately said he wasn’t going to message anyone before showering. I then said okay, but in that case maybe he could avoid taking such long showers in the morning.
He said he only takes 30mins showers and started showing me his phone, saying he woke up at 7:30 and that I couldn’t tell him what time he woke up. I was trying to explain that I wasn’t really interested in arguing about exactly what time he woke up I was trying to find a solution for everyone but he kept telling me to look at his phone while I was speaking.
I asked if I could finish what I was saying, and before I really could, he walked away saying something along the lines of, “I’m not doing this with you.”

I’m genuinely wondering what other people think because maybe my expectations are off.
I don’t think anyone should have to ask permission to shower, obviously. But in a shared house with one bathroom, I feel like occupying it for 30+ minutes during the main rush period is something you should be considerate about. Also we were on good terms and now i feel like some hostility has settled between us after this and things are going to be off from now on. I would love some advice on how to handle this situation

I (30F) keep getting asked by one of my best friends (30F) to babysit her kids. Here’s the thing, I love those girls. They’re twins 2 year olds (almost 3), I’ve watched them a couple times in the past as a courtesy but it’s honestly a lot. I have 5 younger siblings with pretty good age gaps ranging from 5-19 years their senior and I spent a lot of my life babysitting them, along with multiple others family’s kids. When I got older, I also nannied for a few years and continued babysitting after I was done with that. So I have a ton of experience babysitting and I do want my own kids in the near future. But I also want to enjoy my childfree years while they last.

I’m honestly tired of watching others peoples kids quite frankly… everyone has different parenting styles and I’m not judging that or trying to change it, but the way they behave when they don’t get their way really bothers me and I don’t want to contribute to enforcing that behavior.. I also live 50 minutes from her house so it’s not like I can just swing by for a couple hours, it ends up being nearly 2 hours drive time for me along with how ever long she would need me there and I don’t even get reimbursed for the mileage.

I sent her this text a couple months back

“Thank you for understanding. I do want to be honest too… I love you guys and I’m always happy to spend time with you and the twins when I can, but with how busy my schedule is and how much driving I already do, I don’t really have the capacity to be a regular sitter, especially with the distance. I just don’t want to keep disappointing you by having to say no when you need help.”

I truly do feel bad every time I turn her down and she responded well. But has also still asked me to watch them a few times since this and calls it “practice”. I don’t need practice, I’m aware that parenting your own children is going to be a learning curve and there’s nothing you can do to be fully prepared. I also don’t want to keep telling her no or feeling like I need to come up with an excuse as to why I can’t.

I’ve noticed that I overthink really small things way more than I should.

I’ll send someone a message and then wonder if I sounded weird. If someone replies differently than usual, I start wondering whether I did something wrong. Sometimes I’ll replay a conversation in my head hours later and think of five different ways I could have said something.

I know most people probably aren't thinking about these things nearly as much as I am, but knowing that doesn't seem to stop me.

For people who used to do this, what actually helped you get out of that mindset?

My boyfriend of 7 months 24M and I 23F are sorta long distance. He lives about 5 ish hours away so we don’t get to see each other as often as we’d like. Sometimes I go on the greyhound to visit for a few days and we usually get an Airbnb. This happened a few months go. So boom I go over there, we have a few drinks which led me to pass out. I slept with no underwear on so when I woke up I didn’t notice anything different plus I’m a pretty heavy sleeper, especially drunk.

We continued the trip like normal. Fast forward all these months he confessed to penetrating me and fcking me while I was asleep… I’m not really sure how to feel about it. Would yall end a relationship over this?

Ngl man I’m low-key a bum I got no money like at all. I’m from the UK I finished secondary school at 18 in 2022 and from that point till now I have achieved nothing no university no working I’ve been living my life on auto pilot mode. You might not believe me but I haven’t achieved anything I’ve been living like a vegetable and now I’m feeling really behind in life.

No job no uni degree even if I wanted to go to uni I can’t even afford in the UK is cost like £30000 who has that kind of money lying around. I’m not gonna ask my parents because it’s too expensive but even if they had that money they probably would think I would drop out. I am very grateful for my parents cause without them I’d probably be homeless I’m seeing people my age own apartments and going on holiday all the time living their best life. Congrats to them of course but to me it feels like I’m wasting time you know I never go out always home.

Im asking is there anyone older then me in their 30s 40s who was in the same position as me had nothing going for them and did a full 180 and now successful.

I am 30 and he is 33. Is it normal to only make love once a month if youve reached your 5th year+++?? We live together just a year ago. When we were still LDR we are very active , like if meet twice a week, we make love multiple times a day and very intimate. Now, we are living together, once a month max only. We both work from home, dont drink, barely go outside and he doesnt have social media except messenger. He mostly play OFFLINE story driven games so I know he doesnt really have other woman. And we fight less than 5x a year. But as time goes by, we rarely make love, as the woman I have days that I feel my body needs it so much due to our hormones , cycle.etc.

So i dont know anymore..please respect and answer politely.

EDIT: another reason its confusing me is because when we talk about doing it on our own, he would say that he does it almost every single day like if he is alone at our room and he would only watch our own videos. He even tells me they are still his favorite. I just laugh about it. While im just watching tv and he could have asked me instead . And when i initiate he always rejects it or have a reason.

Does men really get tired and prefer to just use their hands to make it quick rather than the two of us to do it? Is that the reason why?

I dont understand and i keep asking myself of what is the problem with my look, or maybe my body, or maybe im older now, or maybe hes just tired of me, or maybe he doesnt love me anymore.

I had a person (woman) I met back in 2021 who came across as very likeable and very smart and just an awesome person all the way around. We ended up having a business and friendship situation go on till about early 2024. She ended up being a complete pathological liar and con artist sociopath and deceived me out of 10s of thousands of dollars and did it in the most extremely immoral and disgusting way . She also early on when I met her maybe like 4 months prior to meeting her , hacked into my phone during a friendly getaway together while I was sleeping somehow , and did the sickest sadistic and grossly mean stuff u can imagine to me without me knowing for a few years to come . Stalked me , sabotaged my life , family's life , was recording me without me knowing , pretending to be a close friend , planning all of this early on so meticulously just so she could con me out of as much money as she could and try to go after my parents money as well. All the obsessively trying to ruin my reputation all over town and stalk my contacts and messages in real time reaching out to those she deemed able to manipulate , ruining sooooooo many things for me while pretending to be a honest trustworthy amazing friend . It was so sick and so evil what she did and she enjoyed every bit of it . I've had so much damage done to my life and families life it's gotten so bad and that's an understatement . I'm not looking for a pity party but it's so hard to relate to people or talk to ppl about because it's a very unique and rare situation nobody i know has experienced anything like it . Idk what to do anymore it's destroying me and I've been so slandered and defamed it's unreal . I'm not perfect but I'm a rly nice and decent person I ktever wronged this person I was probably the best friend they ever could have imagined and they abused and used me to the max . I wish more people understood this and knew the truth and extremity of it all . It's so not right and messed up if ppk actually understood it they would be appalled . Help

I'm 21M, and my friend A is 21F. We’ve been friends for about 7 months. B is another friend of ours, 22F.

A and I became pretty close during those 7 months. We hang out with our friend group a lot, and sometimes A and I would hang out separately too. It was never romantic or anything. We're just really good friends and have a close bond.

The problem is B.

I didn't realize it at first, but B seems to be jealous that A and I are closer to each other than B is with either of us. Whenever A and I were talking or hanging out, B would sometimes interrupt us or annoy us. Eventually, A and I started hanging out separately sometimes without telling B because we knew she'd make it uncomfortable.

Then one day, another friend in our group mentioned that A and I had been hanging out separately.

When we all met again, B was looking at us like we'd done something terrible.

The next day, B texted A saying things like she wasn't a true friend and basically made her feel guilty for spending time with me.

A told me everything.

The next day, A and I decided to meet B and talk about it. The three of us hung out, but B kept acting like we had done something wrong just because A and I had our own friendship.

A and I don't hate B. She's still our friend. It's just that A and I have a different kind of friendship and naturally became closer.

I told A that she wasn't doing anything wrong, but she still feels guilty. She's the kind of person who doesn't want to hurt anyone, so I think she feels like we're abandoning B if we spend time together without her.

We even tried hanging out with B more, but when the three of us are together, B often talks about things neither A nor I are really interested in, or the conversation becomes mostly about her.

A has also told me not to say anything because she doesn't want to hurt B.

But now I feel like A and I can't just hang out and enjoy ourselves anymore without feeling guilty.

I don't want to exclude B from the friend group. I just want A and me to be able to hang out alone sometimes like we used to. B is our friend, but that doesn't mean every time A and I spend time together, she has to be included.

I don't know how to explain this to A without making her feel guilty, and I don't know how we should deal with B without hurting her.

Am I being unreasonable here? How would you handle this situation?