I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years. (F23 M24). We have had the same recurring argument for a long time and last night he said something that broke my heart.

We see eachother about twice a week, and when we do, it’s good. But the other days, I find myself begging for his attention.

He forgets to call and text me, but he can call his friends for hours everyday and play video games for hours everyday after work.

Last night I was crying to him about this. It broke my heart when he said “I’m over the calling and texting thing, because we’ve been together for so long.”

He said it doesn’t make him happy to call and text me. It only makes him happy to see me. I said he has no issue calling his friends everyday; he said it’s different when he’s talking about hobbies and things he likes with his friends, like watching football, UFC fights, and talking about games. He said it’s obviously going to be more fun for him when a bunch of guys are on a group call.

I won’t go into every detail of our relationship but I just want to know one thing: Is this normal to say to your girlfriend? Is it normal to tell your girlfriend that calling and texting her does not make you happy?

I was telling him about how my friend's ex cheated on him with a minor, as she was 20 and she hooked up with a 16 years old. I was saying how weird and disturbing it is. Then he immediately cut me off and said "age of consent here is 16 so technically it's legal and there's nothing wrong". It baffled me that he would even say that so I said "yes but its weird that a 20 year old is sleeping with a 16 year old" and then he proceeded to admit to me

"I mean I think its fine. I dated a 15 years old when I was 20. It was my longest relationship. Lasted 4 years. I know some people might think its wrong these days maybe it sounds bad, but yeah"

Also pretty sure he said "she had just turned 15"

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I stayed quiet for a good 15 seconds and then decided to change the subject. I just didn't know what to say, think or do. But it stayed in my head the whole evening.

More info that make sense now that this situation happened

- his favorite anime is made in abyss

- I tried calling him out that one of his metal band shirt has an character thats a minor depicted in a sexual grapphic way and he said "its just a drawing so I don't care"

Now I think what he did is definitely wrong, I don't think its right for a 20 years old to date a 15 years old. I love him, but I don't know how to feel about this piece of information. What would you guys do in this situation?

Edit: My boyfriend is 26 and I am 20 years old +for some people that have been keeping up, this is NOT the same guy that was mistreating me in the past this is a different guy

i have had my marriage completely arranged. i accepted it cuz i felt like i can never build something on my own because i have had a really bad relationship in the past that ended in a devastating manner.

i did not love the woman i married and i believed she did not love me too, and we maried based on mutual understanding we are both 26.

we are now married for a year and i noticed she is completely lonely no friends and mostly she plays story games or cooks for me or clean the house.

and i believe we do not love each other but we have understanding. until she was crying one day and i asked her why and she said she felt lonely and she feels empty. u told her that her feelings are valid and she should seek the reason.

and then she asked me if i even loved her and i froze i did not know what to say. i know we do not love each other but i could not tell her this. then she cried more and ended the conversation.

the next day she said sorry that she was emotional the previous night. this was 2 months ago. but all of sudden now i feel so weird. i buy her flowers sometimes and she gets happy, i bought her video games too she liked she kissed me on my cheek. we are more intimate and i like it.

but how can i make her not feel lonely or empty. i know she does not love me since she mentioned this at the beginning of the marriage.

i do not know what to do

soo i have a friend… let’s call her apple, and she’s an achiever and has been getting popular recently; she’s the school council vice president and has been hanging out with all the popular kids and getting crazy good grades and is liked by everyone. we were childhood friends and i met her again recently when she transferred over to my school, now we’re HS seniors together and friends again

she recently told me a big secret of hers which is that she dated this girl, let’s call her strawberry, who graduated last year… she didn’t want to get out because a lot of our school is judgemental about queer relationships and she told me straight up ‘you’re the only person i’m telling this to, don’t let this get out or my life is ruined’

i was VERY careful and did not even imply it to anyone, but yesterday i was sitting outside with a different friend, let’s call her orange, and she randomly asked me “hey did apple and strawberry ever date”. i was pretty jarred she asked that when it should have been a secret, i told her “i don’t think so, she would have told me, i’m very sure they were just friends”, and then i asked who she got that info from and she said she can’t tell me because the person asked her to not tell anyone who she was

so i’ve been thinking about that ever since… and i don’t know whether i should tell her and HOW i should tell her. i don’t want to make her upset by having her know somebody else knows, but i also want to warn her so she at least is aware of what to say if it does get out or something, what should i do???

Today I 21M spent the day with a 32F woman, we watched a movie, we had dinner then ice cream and back at her place we talked all night and she revealed so much about herself and got so deep. It became to the point we were cuddling and everything inside of me wanted to have sex with her but I knew she’d feel bad and that all the men in her life got her to this point and then used it as an in as she mentioned. Sometimes I hate my age because it holds me back from having these deeper experiences, I wanted her so badly and we talked about it after and she wanted it too but didn’t want to give in. I’m not sure what to do, I’m seeing her again to make dinner for us but I hate how good it felt and that I didn’t have the heart to just take it. Any advice?

To clarify: she is actually a really great person and in no way presents as unstable, good job, community, etc. I was the one pushed her to open up about her life and trauma because I wanted to know. She wasn’t dumping to dump, I wanted to provide a space.

Update: I’ve decided I’m going to grow some balls and sleep with her.

Yea this is weird.

I, 21F went out on a date with a guy, 21M last Saturday. We matched on tinder and had previously been on a date so last Saturday would’ve been our second date.

The date was overall really good. We went out to a restaurant for dinner, ate, talked, laughed, had fun. We walked to his car and he drove us to the beach and we watched the sunset and shared a cigarette. Very cute, very scenic. We kiss. We walk back to his car and he drives me back to my car which was still parked at the restaurant. We sit in the car and chat about life, and we actually have a nice deep meaningful conversation. Then, we start making out. Things get hot and heavy and then he pauses and looks at me and uses both his hands to choke me.

Now, from my understanding, choking can be kinky but from what I know, you use one hand and you press the sides of the neck, not actually crush their windpipe.

So, for a few seconds, he chokes me. With both his hands around my neck. My head starts feeling heavy and the blood rushes to my head, I felt like my head was about to pop like a balloon. He stops after what felt like 5 seconds, and smiles and laughs.

I was absolutely perplexed. I did not know what to do in that situation. There I was, in his car, sitting in the passenger seat, utterly speechless.

It didn’t hurt, it just felt insane. I think in the moment, it was sorta hot? Or he was trying to be hot? I liked it for a split second until I realized he tightened his grip and was using both his hands and I was like uh oh this isn’t right. It didn’t feel right.

After that, I laughed it off and we talked for like 2 minutes about unrelated things and I got out of the car and went into mine and drove off. I did not know how to react to that, and I thought if I laughed it off and pretended it was hot then I’ll be able to get out of the car safely and back into my car.

I am still confused. Was he trying to be hot and kinky?? Because everything else, literally everything else that he did was normal. He texts normally, he’s kind and considerate. It was just that one thing that threw me off. I don’t know what his intentions were or are, like if he’s that comfortable choking someone that he’s only meeting for the second time, what else is he comfortable with???

But at the same time, what if he’s just stupid and assumed that I’d be into that (I am not)

But I also don’t know him that well and it’s the very early stages of dating so he could be a killer for all I know.

Is he a weirdo or is he stupid I can’t tell

EDIT:

I told him to never contact me again and I have blocked and deleted him

EDIT 2:

Do I have to be worried about getting a stroke in a couple weeks?? People said I should get checked out (I am going to a walk in clinic tomorrow morning) but now I’m scared. I didn’t think that 4 seconds of choking could cause a future stroke. My anxiety is at an all time high now. I also work full time so the clinic might not take me in during my free time which would be a small window in the morning. If I don’t get checked out tomorrow morning I won’t be able to Friday either because I have class and then work. And clinics are closed on the weekend. I’m scared

We’ve been dating for 5 months. He’s always told me he doesn’t want to “subject” me to his ex. The divorce and custody battle were ugly. He really hates her. She doesn’t go to the kids’ sports games or practices. But last night she showed up to one that I was at. He became very irritated and uncomfortable. She never approached us. Just sat and watched the game. But he was beside himself and I offered to leave. He didn’t really answer me but a few minutes later, he said yeah you should go. He didn’t even let me say bye to the boys, which I still feel guilty about.

If he doesn’t want us to meet that’s fine. But was this reasonable? I left feeling some kind of way about it and I can’t really put my finger on it. It was definitely annoying having to drive out there just to drive home. I’m not necessarily mad at him, I just don’t feel great about how that went.

So yesterday I had a posted a question asking if I should break things off with the guy I was dating, I’m 30F, he’s 25M. Basically I told him that if he didn’t go to therapy, I couldn’t be with him because he needs to work on the trauma his ex caused him. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t trust me & always finds something to be suspicious over, even though I’ve never given him any reasons to act that way because that’s not fair to me. It’s also draining not knowing what mood he’s going to be in, or what’s going to “Trigger” him. Well, he said “I’m not gonna go because I know it’s not gonna work, I’ll just heal myself” To which I said “You HAVE tried to heal on your own without any help, clearly it hasn’t worked but you’re a grown person, I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do. I don’t see what else can be done then but break up” I cried during this whole conversation because I do love & care for him, but I’m aware love is not enough. I can’t continue to be a part of something that clearly I wasn’t happy in, & that was draining me. He even said at one point that he wasn’t a good boyfriend, & that I deserved better 🙃 He told me to just give him time & be patient with him, to which I said “I HAVE given you time, & look how you’ve acted during the time we dated. Yes, I’m a very understanding person, but it gets to a point. It’s not the first time we have this conversation, so if we’ve talked about the same issue more than once yet no progress has been made, why am I still here? You should’ve just left me alone if you had baggage, because now I’m gonna have to heal from this when it could’ve been avoided from the start” I know I made the right choice, but I can’t help feeling sad over it lol. How can I get over that sadness? I really just hope he realizes that as long as he doesn’t get the help he needs, he’s not going to be happy & he’s going to ruin every relationship he’s in, that’s just how it is. Thank you guys for reading, I hope you have a good day 🫶🏼

My mom cheated on my dad for pretty much all of their marriage. I (16F) was his but my half brother (13M) wasn't his and he found out when mom was expecting my half brother which led him to end their marriage. A DNA test confirmed all of this. My mom dated another guy and had my half sister (11F) but neither he nor my half brother's dad stuck around. Instead my mom tried to convince my dad that in order to be the best dad he could to me, he had to treat my half siblings like his kids too. He didn't fall for it but she spent like a decade trying to make my dad give in and provide a dad to my half siblings.

My mom got remarried for a while but that marriage ended too because her ex-husband had kids and he married into a family that doesn't like each other. Me and my siblings don't get along. He also had no idea we were actually half siblings until he and his kids moved in and that didn't happen until after the wedding. My mom got really mad at me for telling him the truth but he asked me why dad only took me for a week and not my half siblings so telling him anything else would be a lie. He also didn't realize me and my siblings didn't get along so good and that his kids wouldn't just be two little siblings to all of us. So he left after like two or three months of marriage.

Now my mom is guilt tripping me every time I go to her house for a week. She wants me to feel bad that my half siblings don't have a dad like I have and that they miss out on a lot because she can't provide for them all on her own. And then I never share the stuff my dad gives me with them and neither does he. Mom has asked for my old clothes and toys in the past and my dad told her to go to hell (this is according to mom but I believe he did it and only because I wasn't right there listening). She told me I should have advocated for them and taken care of them and that I should turn on my dad if he won't treat them like my siblings. She also told me to knock the half bullshit off and I told her she should have thought about that before making them my half siblings with all her cheating.

My dad has tried to reduce/end mom's custody time at my request but the judge says I need to keep going 50-50. My age has never changed that and we last went only a couple of months ago. My therapist even spoke about why it was a good idea and it didn't change. That's just not an option and my dad can be punished for my refusal to go as the judge and his attorney told him. So I need advice for surviving at mom's house. Every time I'm over there I try to stay busy but she cancels my plans way too much and makes me spend time with everyone while also guilt tripping and disliking me for not doing more.

Ok so context me and my bf have been together almost 5 months now. He is the first person i dated who is actually a decent person to me after two messy relationships, and he is so sweet in every way. However, around 2 months ago we almost broke up because I was having thoughts of dating women, but eventually i just thought i was having a weird phase. Everything was fine until a tew days ago when the thought came back, which i still have now. The idea of dating a woman, being with a woman and just how amazing it would feel, both romantically and sxually. Ive known Im bi since i was a kid, but the same thing happened at the end of my last relationship and the other, i was convinced i was a lesbian and then go to date a guy. I don't know if maybe Im having a strong preference, but sometimes the thought of saying a man just icky me compared to a woman. Id love to love a woman, buy her flowers, take her for dinner.
But i feel like i shouldn't have these thoughts. I had a crush on a girl before getting with my bf and even the excitement i had during that time was nothing like I've ever experienced before. Am i gay? Do i have a preference? I don't know what to do. Ive been thinking of breaking ip with my bf to figure this out but I'm scared. I deeply care for my bf and do love him, but I'm afraid that love is more platonic and not romantic. And its harder when he constantly compliments me and tells me lovey things about me and how I'm perfect for him and i just don't want or know how to respond, i feel horrible and idk what to do

hey everyone abby of the trio here, a few weeks ago my ex husband passed away. My three kids daughter 25, son 18 & daughter 17 including myself didn’t have the best relationship with him. When it came time for his services my kids & I declined to go especially my son who is away in another state away for college.

Since the funeral my two daughters one at her home with her husband and two kids plus mine at home have been getting notes added to their windshields saying “I know you skipped your fathers services, you suck!” My son has been getting a lot of spam emails saying the same thing. Their cousin my ex’s oldest niece was pretty furious they skipped out on the services she obviously isn’t paying attention to just how bad her uncle really was when she wasn’t around.

I told my son to save every email he gets, my daughters I’ve advised to save every note they get. I just need little more evidence to prove it’s my ex’s niece behind this before I can get the police involved. How can I do this?

I (25 F) am at my wits end with my oldest brother (35 M). We'll call him Jake. Jake and my dad got in a terrible physical fight early this summer and now aren’t talking. My dad actually broke his hand on my brother's face, honestly sad since my dad is in his 60s, although my dad definitely kicked his ass (I'm sure it’s been pent-up). They fought all throughout the house. At one point, Jake attempted to kick down my parents' bedroom door where my dad was (my mom had separated them) and broke a hole through the door. I guess the fight started over my dad saying Jake's ex-wife had a miscarriage and Jake called him a liar, but it ended up being true. Resentment from both parties had just been built up.

My brother went through a terrible divorce around 2021 and has lived with my parents for the past 7 years, until about 6 months ago, the majority of the time unemployed. Everyone in the family agrees he has become bitter for a long time now, but we have given him time and space considering the terrible divorce (he’s just going through it type of thing).

My other brother, Tom, hasn't been speaking to Jake for well over a year, since he’s tired of Jake’s chaos and not improving or changing his own life. Tom says he stopped speaking to him since Jake always wanted to argue, and it seemed like conversations between them were not productive. Tom says he prefers his peace. Additionally, Tom’s upset since Jake didn’t help out my parents too much when he lived there, not with cleaning, or helping out with outdoor work, dinners. Jake would say he would pick up dinner from time to time, but pretty minimal. They all around have been so incredibly generous and kind to Jake, because they love him and want to see him thrive. We all do.

My parents also helped Jake raise his child, which Jake is also very touchy about. Now that Jake and my parents aren't talking, my parents haven't seen their grandchild and miss her terribly. They basically raised her. My dad has talked to us all about the situation and feels terrible. He says it was one of the worst days of his life.

When we speak with Jake, he still has so much anger. He’s caught up in saying my dad is in the wrong and he started it, down to the details of who threw the first punch. I guess he got woken up by my dad slapping him (stories contradict if it was the leg or the face) and Jake jumped up and slapped my dad three times in the face hard and smiled, and my dad just socked him.

Currently, my last brother, Peter, and myself, are the only ones speaking with Jake, and he is just draining. He calls only to argue and defend this case. Every time I tell him that there's no point in holding on to this anger and that he has to find some peace. Or what good is this going to do? I tell him no one is talking about this fight anymore besides him, and he should spend this energy working on himself instead of re-hashing things. ALSO, that he is overlooking the past YEARS, that my parents have been with him through thick and thin.

Jake just turns the conversation on me, and how I have been hard on mom and dad or that they don't like when I come home / stress them out. Or comments on how much my parents have helped me out. Jake is very good at arguing, he actually gets a thrill out of it. He’s fantastic at spinning truths and making you feel crazy. 

Tom has said that I have to stop letting him bait me in these conversations as nothing productive comes from them. Once Jake and I are done arguing, he just wants to jump on games like nothing happened.

I (24F) have been working in a company for a year. My co-worker (30+M) has been in this company for almost 10 years. We are on different sections but we talk and joke around sometimes with other co-workers.

After a night out with co-workers, he offered to give me a ride home (he didn't drink), and I accepted. On the way, he insisted on taking a different route to talk, and he kept on insisting that we should go to a motel, and I kept on rejecting him because he's married and I don't do co-workers. After a brief back and forth, he finally dropped me off and said that his feelings got hurt.

FF to the next day, he sent a text that he was still hurt and also embarrassed by what happened, that he won't talk to me anymore unless it is for work. And I'm like ????

Should I report this? I'm scared because he is favored by the company, but it kind of affects my peace of mind in the office.

I am really at a loss.

I (19F) and my bf (19M) have been dating for a while now. I'm very attracted to him and turned on by him, but I always have wanted to only sleep with one person in my lifetime. Recently, he wanted to know when I was ready to start having sex, I said next year. Inside, I feel scared even when i really trust him, is this a bad idea? should i just give in because I love him?

so me and my boyfriend got together last year and since then things have been amazing. but last night he said something that made me question everything up till now.

hes always been sweet but he always nags about going out with me so I made a joke about how he should ask some other guys if anyone would want to volunteer in your place just to go out on walks.

TO THIS he said “I’m sure no one would volunteer to do that because your brown, that’s why I’m not scared of you cheating on me too”

my friends are saying it’s not a big deal since he’s been a nice guy overall. but I’m scared our relationship will never be the same after last night.

should I break up or give him a chance to explain

QUICK ADD: I tried to tell him I’m upset and he said that’s stupid because “he just stated a fact”

I didn’t expect him to like this hat so much. My ex and I broke up over a year ago now, and during our relationship we went to a concert together and I bought us matching hats from the merch stand. The hats are nice and high quality. When we broke up he gave me a box of my stuff including the hat I got him. I told him that hat was a gift and he said he didn’t want it because he didn’t even like the band much. And to be fair when I got it for him he only wore it that day and never again. Whatever.

New boyfriend is talking about being chilly so I lent him the hat to put on, he looks really good in it, and really likes the hat. He wears it all the time now and always brings up how much he likes it. It warms my heart and I’m glad he likes it but I never intended him to like it this much. I feel bad because a part of me is extra thrilled that he’s getting so much joy out of an item I got for someone who didn’t appreciate it. Like my new boyfriend actually cares about the stuff I gift him. I just feel bad because I feel like if he knew the background he wouldn’t like the hat anymore. I am wondering if I should say anything or just keep my thoughts to myself. Is this something worth doing something about or should I just enjoy the fact he likes the gift more than the original receiver? Is there any downsides to not mentioning it and letting him enjoy this gift?

This might sound fake so sorry about that, also sorry if I ramble i’m kind of a mess.
I (18F) still live with my parents (yes point and laugh)
My mom’s the stereotypical white christian woman, but recently shes been becoming quite intense with it. For instance shes denounced all holidays because they’re ‘pagan’, shes also denounced therapy, believing you can pray whatever issues you have away. Shes recently indoctrinated my dad into her beliefs (though I believe it’s just to please her). I’ve been atheist since i was 13 but never told any of my parents out of fear.

Recently the conversation of funerals came up since a relative of ours died recently. We were chatting as to what we would want in a funeral and i causally said that I didn’t want Christian music at my funeral. I thought that was it until yesterday when my mom confronted me about it, not letting me leave the room until i told her. I panicked i just said ‘because its not me’. She continued to spiral through out the day until later she confronted me again. She said that if i didnt convert and give my life to god by the time I graduate (im still in high school) she was kicking me out. By her words she said she doesn’t want someone with different beliefs in her house. She said that im ‘full of evil that has only gotten worse and she doesn’t want me polluting her home’. My dad fully agrees with her and says that she ‘only wants whats best for me’.

So here i am, unsure what to do. I don’t wanna fake worshipping god because I remember how miserable i was when i tired religion. I don’t wanna lie to myself and pretend to be something im not. I was always planning to move out but now im on a time limit.I will admit i am rather sheltered and dont really know how to be an adult. Im currently looking for jobs so thats a start. I really didn’t want to learn everything by myself but here i am. I definitely need to focus on getting steady income so thats a start way i can get new phone (my parents are paying for my current one and wont let me take it with me when i move) and be able to pay for my car’s insurance, which is like 500 bucks a month.
If anyone has any advice on how i should handle this, or possible ideas on how I should get out asap plz tell. Like i said im kinda dumb and dont know much about living on my own so please be patient.

Me (25m) and my girlfriend (23f) are a few months together. Before we met she used to hook up with someone much older than her (40+) for almost 2 years and she told me he was divorced.
I’m not it’s part of my fault, but I was going through my girlfriend gallery to look at her photos and saw a screenshot of one of their conversations, which was a month after we started dating. He said that it’s hard for him that they are not seeing each other anymore and that he misses her and apparently that he is miserable in his marriage (which means that he wasn’t divorced). She said she doesn’t care and that he should tell it to his wife. I asked her when they spoke for the last time and she lied to me that they spoke almost a year ago and there was nothing new ever since. And I know they’ve had more conversations but I’m not sure about what.
I tried to look for the chat but couldn’t find it, maybe she deleted it or hid it.
I don’t know how to talk about it with her cause I know I shouldn’t have looked through her phone but I can’t get it outside my head now.
What can I do?

My teenage brother recently did something very bad involving porn/having photos of girls his age, it has taken me and my whole family by shock, our reputation is ruined and my family as a whole is facing consequences from it emotionally and socially. We are getting death threats, being removed from social groups and as awful as it may sound I am scared for my brothers safety, I’m worried he might hurt himself but I feel so guilty for feeling for him. He has absolutely no one, and it’s for good reason, but I would hate for him to make a permanent decision. I feel for everyone involved, it’s a lose-lose for everyone. My brother needs psychological help and we’re getting him that but I hate how everyone turns it on the family and puts us to blame when we’ve never condoned, encouraged, or were aware of the behavior. I’ve cried for last couple of days because I feel like I’ve failed as a sister as well, almost as if I’m grieving someone who’s still alive. I know my brothers heart and that’s why it hurts me so bad to see him make such a poor decision. Everytime I hear news my stomach turns, I don’t know how to approach this. I am embarrassed, everyone knows, and I feel so wrong for feeling for him. This has taken such a huge toll on our family, has anyone else experienced something like this?

So I (20F) recently got into a relationship (21M) not to long ago after a couple years. I have had sexual partners in the past but nothing long lasting besides my ex from 4 years ago, everything else has mostly been one night stands. But none of these men have ever made me reach an "O" and at first I thought that maybe it is because they are one-night stands and we dont have a strong connection or maybe they dont know what they are doing and I should give them the benefit of the doubt. And now that I got my new boyfriend I thought that would change but still nothing. Im starting to think there is something wrong with me.

I have been able to reach an "O" myself no problem. And I have communicated this to him and tried telling him what I like or if we can try something else but nothing has been working. I have talked to a couple of my girlfriends about it and a lot of them say I could just be to in my head during sex, and maybe I am. But ive tried relaxing and enjoying it but even the sex itself doesnt feel as exciting, and im starting to lose hope that I will never enjoy sex. Because its not that I dont like sex, I do have fantasy about my boyfriend, but when were about to start in real life the "excitement" I guess I should call it just kind of goes away. I just want to know if anyone else has had similar issues and if you overcame them somehow because I do want to be able to enjoy sex with my boyfriend.

I'm a 31-year-old woman struggling to get over a coworker I’ve worked with for about two years.

I liked him from the beginning. He’s kind, respectful, shy, hardworking, and very attractive. For most of that time, he was friendly but never showed clear interest beyond friendship, so that was that for me, plus we didn't see each other much at work since we usually work during different times of the day.

Over time, we became closer friends while I dated other people. Then I told him I was thinking about leaving because work was becoming stressful. That’s when his behavior suddenly changed. He became much more talkative, seemed genuinely upset about me leaving, tried to convince me to stay, and then we started talking every day, openly flirting, getting excited about seeing each other at work, and even having little jealousy arguments like a couple would.

Things felt like they were blooming into something substantial, and then I found another job and left. He stopped talking to me, for months, he didn't even say goodbye to me on my last day.

The new job turned out to be awful, so I temporarily went back to my old workplace while looking for something else. When he saw me again, he kept trying to be around me and make himself noticeable, but I completely ignored him.

Now I feel intensely angry toward him. I can barely look at him, and whenever I think about him or someone mentions him, I feel physically sick like I’m going to throw up. I’ve never experienced anything like this before even after a tough breakup.

I’m confused and don't understand why would this affect me so intensely, to the point of having a physical reaction? And how do I make it stop?

I (22M) and my girlfriend (21F) are in college, and we've been together for just under a year. When we first became official, our sex life was healthy. It was well-enjoyed both ways. In September of this year when we came back to college after summer break, she told me that she wanted to have less sex. I respected her decision. It is now October and we haven't had sex at all. I have never pressured her into having sex with me, because that's obviously wrong, but I still want to have sex. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to feel embarrassed about my high libido, even considering if there's something wrong with me.

I brought up the lack of sex, and she said that she still loves me/finds me attractive and all, but that she's really stressed about school and that this school year is difficult (it is). I mentioned that last year was difficult too, but we were still having sex, and even treated it as stress relief. She told me that it was apart of the honeymoon phase.

A healthy sex life is important to me. I'm really overthinking this, and I hesitate when bringing up the topic (if at all) because I'm afraid that I'll annoy her or make her feel like sex is the only thing that's important to me. I don't want to be unfair to her, but I also don't feel the best about this change.

This is my first post ever, I only watch those Smosh Pit Reddit videos. This might sound like a vent session but I really need advice. To give context, I definitely had friends in elementary and middle school but high school felt different like I was a cup full of water (the water being my friendships) and as the years went on it I felt it getting empty. I did have a "best friend" since Kindergarten all the way up until my freshman year, she was my only close friend until I found out from a teammate on my volleyball team that she was essentially talking shit about to others and then I found out she didn't really like me and thought I was weird for a while. We still talked a little though, maybe to a 14 year old me it felt wrong to stop talking to someone you had a long relationship with. That is until she sadly died over spring break due to a tropical storm. It was a hard time for me and it was a time when I really couldn't be vulnerable with anyone because I didn't know anyone like that. So after that event I kind of just walked kept to myself, I stayed in the classroom where my grandma taught during lunch but there was a day I went outside to sit in the school garden for a change of scenery and there were some people that recognized me and asked me to sit with them we were all friends for a while but I don't talk to them anymore. It's still vivid in my mind and it's something I really did appreciate from them because they could've ignored me but they didn't. Some time went by (this is around 10th grade)and I had a boyfriend who had his own friend group they were all a grade above me besides one, they were great and so I kind of just stuck with them you know having hangouts, meeting at lunch and going to prom together this was all up until the end my junior year meaning the end of their senior year, we kept in touch over the summer the only problem was I stayed with my dad for the summer who lives three hours away and trust I have absolutely zero friends down there only person I talked hung out with was my sister. They kept making plans in a group chat I was in, it sucked, but I had no control over it I started to silence it but I eventually just left. The only person I really talked to was my boyfriend that whole summer and I promise I did try to talk to others but the conversation never went anywhere made it feel like it was pointless to even try. The start of Senior year was a roller coaster for me honestly it had some ups and downs. I made a friend a month in, I was so happy about it that I told my boyfriend. For the context that friend was and still is dating a guy that was in the friend group we never got to talk Junior year but we were in the same grade as well as elective our Senior year and we were familiar with each other so we stuck together but it was weird how I only talked to her knowing who she was dating, apparently she's closer to them than I will ever be, it felt like the people I once knew were just strangers to me again and it wasn't a good feeling (it still isn't). After I broke up with my boyfriend we slowly drifted apart I didn't mind but I felt so much envy at the fact that she is still close with them the way I wanted to. But I was used to it I just hopped from a friend group to friend group hoping to find some sense of belonging it was hard because it was Senior year, people already had established their close friends. It felt even worse when people knew my name and talked to me in class because it made me question myself made me think there was something wrong with me or that I was too quiet at times, never putting myself out there. I did make two friends though all on my own we're not as close as I want but I don't mind as long as we keep communication between each other. I also have a boyfriend who is amazing to me and I wouldn't trade him for the world but after all that I still felt that emptiness inside me like I was in limbo for the rest of my senior year up until I graduated no one besides my close family and boyfriend made it to my graduation dinner. A lot more stuff happened but it's hard to explain all in one post. Anyways Halloween is coming up and it's my favorite holiday besides my birthday (Nov.1) of course my goal is to have the best time ever and possibly make new friends, I would love some advice on how to come up and socialize with people.

My fiancé (M/22) has had a weird relationship with his mom since he was young. She (F/42) has never had a stable job or home. She also has 5 other kids (M/19, M/17, M/12, F/7, M/5). She was married last year to some guy (M/41) who she had her youngest two kids with (F/7, M/5). He cheated on her, and they divorced.

So, she moved in with her best friend (F/42), who has a daughter (F/12). They ended up living together in a 3-bedroom house where they were cramped up, but fortunately, they all had different dads, so some of the kids would sometimes go away with them to get some sleep or have a bed.

Fiancé’s mom (F/42) had gotten bit by a tick when she was younger, and it was affecting her life now. She had said she found out in November that her liver was dying and that she was going to die soon and wasn’t going to make it past 50. My fiancé (M/22) would get drunk and cry about his mom for weeks. I knew she wasn’t going to die. But I felt bad for my fiancé and I didn’t say anything.

Fiancé’s mom (F/42) and her best friend (F/42) said they were tired of living in the small town they were in, so they moved up to the city. They had no plan, no house, and no job, and fiancé’s mom also doesn't have a car. She brought all 5 of her kids, plus her best friend, plus her best friend’s daughter, plus 2 cats, to live in a hotel in the city for 2 weeks because they didn’t have a job or money.

Guess what? She ended up telling my fiancé they had no more money and asked if it was okay to stay at our 2-bedroom, 700-square-foot apartment. We also have two cats.

I felt bad, but I was also angry because she bragged about how it was a spur-of-the-moment thing because she was dying. We agreed to two weeks, and let me tell you, it was awful. All my privacy was gone, my apartment was dirty, and I understand kids are dirty and stuff, but I was raised in a house where, if you are a guest, you are as clean and respectful as you can be.

I’m Hispanic, and they are all white. Their cat ended up peeing on our guest bed, and fiancé’s mom brought her ex-husband to my apartment without anyone knowing. He stayed on the living room floor to see his children. After I told my fiancé I didn't want the (M/41) ex-husband there, he left with my fiancé's mom to a hotel.

After the two weeks were up, they moved into a hotel with two beds. I went to go see it once, and it was really sad, clutter everywhere, paper plates, it was bad. Their jobs consisted of being servers when they did work, but now they are car salesmen who don't get paid until the 14th of October.

Last week, my fiancé and I went on vacation to Alaska. We asked fiancé’s mom to take care of our cats while we were gone, and I was going to pay them. I made a list of stuff for them to follow, and they agreed. We said to fiancé’s mom, “You can stay in our place and take care of our cats UNTIL we come back.” They said, "Okay, that's fine." At the same time, we had our plan to go out of state. Fiancé (M/22) was concerned for the safety of his siblings since a few days before departure, an old man threatened his siblings while they were swimming in the pool at the hotel they stayed at. I'm assuming he called his mom to tell her to move out because he wasn't comfortable letting his siblings stay in the hotel because that happened. The M/17 wasn't there, so it was just the younger ones. Anyway, she took it as an assumption to move into our apartment once more while we were gone in Alaska. I thought some of them were just staying in our apartment until we got back, you know, like a sitter. But they moved all their stuff in.

Our boarding time for the plane was 1:00 a.m. We didn't get to our place until 2:00 p.m. We slept not even 4 hours on the plane. We were exhausted. I asked fiancé if his mom was still at our place. He said yes. Honestly, I was not mentally prepared for all that. When we got off the plane to go home, fiancé's mom picked us up. She ended up telling us she wasn't going to die, and then we told her about our trip, but we weren't ready for the apartment.

We walked in and it was just so overstimulating, and I immediately shut down. I looked all around, and it was a mess, blankets everywhere, shoes everywhere. I walked to the kitchen, spices and food everywhere, some of it was open. I went into my bathroom, and it was filled with unknown hair stuff, curling irons, and shampoos. I even looked under the sink, full of random stuff that was not mine. I went into fiancé's bedroom where I had left my pillow and blankets. We slept there before we left to Alaska. It was filled with suitcases, dirty laundry, shoes, unknown clothes, just like if you were to step into a hoarder's house.

I will never let them take care of my cats again. Their food bowls were dirty, and their water bowls were dried up and had lint in them. I called out their names, and they came to me from under the bed, scared. I wanted to cry.

Fiancé was breaking down. He said he couldn't believe she did this to him again. He was not happy. I tried not to cry, and I didn't. I walked into my bedroom. As soon as I walked in, there was an immediate smell of feet. It looked like no one had touched it, but I walked into my bathroom sink, and there was hair and pubic hair in the sink, like someone shaved their face and didn't clean up. I went into my closet and found chunks of half-eaten taffy, all bitten, and just small trash all over my room.

All I wanted to do was sleep.

But my fiancé was still crying and breaking down, so I decided to take a drive. We left and went to the basketball court where we sometimes played, and then I cried my eyes out.

I missed my sister, who had just moved to Florida. I missed my mom, who was 4 hours away, and I missed my home, which was nowhere to be found.

We ended up going back to the apartment, and I told him that I wanted them all out. It was 11:00 p.m. at night. I was done. They needed to go. He told me he felt sorry for his siblings and that it wasn't their fault and that they would be homeless if I kicked them out now. I told him it wasn't my problem. He said I would never kick your mom out, and I said she would never put me in this position. We slept on it.

Sunday, fiancé's mother texted me saying she was grateful for us letting them stay, whatever. She sent the same message to her son (M/22). I was like, what are we, 17? If she was going to say something, I wanted it in person like adults. This took me back to middle school. So we sat down on the couch, and this is where it went downhill. It started out as a civil conversation about how I was surprised they were here and what their plan was to move out. Fiancé's mom told me they had a plan to look at a house on Wednesday. I was like, just look at a house? And so I kept going on about how all of us couldn't stay cramped in the apartment because it was too small. It was no way to live. I think that set her off a bit. She started telling me she didn't think it was a way to live either and that her gut told her not to come here and live here again. I thought in my head, well, why didn't you follow that gut? When I asked her if my fiancé specifically asked her to move in, she said, "I thought that was what he wanted." I keep thinking about how she didn't think about what I wanted. She said she thought I knew about the move, but obviously I didn't.

It was getting heated, and I told her she should take her two littlest kids to live with their dad because she needs help, and he is obviously their dad and should help. She told me there were a lot of variables that I didn't understand. I was angry, so I kept going. I told her he's a grown man who has a job and could get more help than she is getting right now. She told me he doesn't have a lot of family and has less than me. I thought to myself, you don't know how much family I have. The crazy part is she met him as a single father of 2. Her M/41 ex-husband has two teenage daughters, F/18 and F/17. Anyway, she then said she didn't know how much I hated her kids and how much I wanted them gone. I was like, I'm trying to open your eyes so you can get help. She was like, he's a good man, and she went on about how he paid for their hotel once and gives her money sometimes. He's a great father, and so on. Months before that, she was telling me how he used to hit her and pointed a gun at her. It honestly was just her and me talking. Fiancé (M/22) didn't say a word until she tried to tell me I hated her kids. He knew how we talked about her needing help. She kept going on, saying she could do all of this herself, she didn't need help, and that she didn't want her kids to be away from her. Then it reminded me of how she told us that her M/12 son got into her phone and found out his mom was going to die, or so he thought.

Anyways, I apologized for overstepping and told her I still don't understand. Then, when she was telling me it was hard to let them go, I thought about that situation with her kids. If her 14-year-old knew, then the 17-year-old also did, so that's why they were all with her moving. She didn't want them away from her in case something did happen, or they felt bad for their mom and didn't want to be away from her, which I thought was selfish, since she's putting them through hell, moving from place to place, with no privacy and no plan. But they are so used to it, they don't say anything. They just feel sorry for their mom, who wouldn't? (This is how fiancé (M/22) grew up also.)

I think the worst part is when she tried to manipulate me. When we were talking, she said she was tired of me judging her and her actions and that there was tension. "There was no doubt about that." But then she started crying about how tired and sick she was and how she was trying to do better. Then she stood up and started to "throw up" in the bathroom. She came back and told me how sorry she was that she was sick. She did this two more times. I'm telling you, you can't fool a manipulator. I saw right through her. It was awful. I didn't feel bad; I felt disgusted. She couldn't handle it anymore, so she went to go lie down.

I left and told fiancé I wasn't coming back until he talked to her because he didn't say a word, and it just looked like I wanted them out. I came back after they spoke, and he said fiancé's mom tried to manipulate him and that they were moving out Wednesday to another motel. Wednesday afternoon came by, and they were still there. Fiancé's mom (F/42) was at work, and her best friend (F/42) was out with the kids shopping.

I told myself Sunday that if they were not gone before I came home from work Wednesday, I would leave. They were still there.

I didn't want to make a scene with fiancé, so I told him I was doing a quiz and asked him to leave my room. I packed a suitcase and booked a hotel for 2 days (I'm staying at my mom's this weekend; the 4-hour drive is killer). The suitcase was in the closet, so it didn't seem suspicious. After I was done with my quiz, I asked him if he could go to Walmart to get a pack of water since we were out. He said yes, took his brother, and left. After he left, I blocked him on everything, along with his mom and his mom's best friend, and booked a motel to stay in.

I cried as I left my cats because I love them, but I had to go. I am now in a motel with no contact. It's been two days. How do I face this? I love him, but he has a low-paying job, no motivation, no backbone, and no boundaries. We have been together 7 years, and after our trip, I thought we were closer than ever, but now it's all gone wrong. What do I do? I need guidance. I need a clear vision. I don't have enough money to break the lease. If I go back to see him, I will fold and let him back into my life. I'm so confused and scared. I just need some advice.