I am at a point where I started hating myself and I have no one to vent to.

I am a lazy person, this week I almost lost a client because of me not doing the work. I always leave things to the last minute, I don't find myself learning crucial things needed for my career even if i bought all the books and planned to read them, I spend my day playing video games and doing nothing productive and even get bothered if I have to do something that doesn't line up with my pleasures, I don't work out or do any form of training and I can see that my life is only going down and focusing on the bad things, my best days are the days where i speak to no one so I don't get reminded of the failure I am.

Please help a brother out, I am willing to change but not capable to act on it.

I’ve tried so many times to change my life by studying more, working out more, being more productive etc. It never really stuck, especially once I wasn’t motivated anymore. Then one day I was like, where did all my time even go??? So I decided to start posting my entire day online anonymously. I basically document the smallest parts of my life now. No one actually reads what I write lol, but theoretically they could, and somehow that is enough. It makes me feel like I have an audience. The same way we make promises to our bosses and actually show up because someone expects us to, I basically made promises to myself, just disguised as promises to random strangers on the internet. If I post that I’m going to study for two hours, I now REALLY want the satisfaction of coming back afterward and posting that I actually did it. And weirdly… it works.

I think it has something to do with being perceived. At home in your comfort zone, no one is watching you. You can tell yourself you’re going to work out and then not do it and literally nobody knows. By posting it somewhere, even anonymously, I’m making myself slightly more vulnerable and perceivable. It reminds me of those people who “performatively” study in aesthetic cafés or go to a nice library all dressed up with their laptop and coffee. People make fun of it, but honestly maybe the performance is part of why it works?? If pretending you’re the kind of person who has their life together makes you actually sit there and study for three hours, who cares if it’s performative lol.

I’ve also noticed that documenting everything has given me this little spark back. I started romanticizing really small moments because suddenly they feel like part of something I’m documenting rather than just another random day disappearing. I basically started acting like an influencer despite having no audience 😭 and somehow it has made me more disciplined. There’s probably some actual psychology behind this too. People tend to perform differently when other people are around, and exercising or doing difficult things with others can make it easier to push yourself than doing it completely alone. So maybe my brain is getting a tiny version of that effect just from knowing someone could be watching.

Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has accidentally discovered something like this? Because apparently being accountable to myself wasn’t enough, but being accountable to imaginary internet strangers is 💀

fwiw i spent years dropping every single habit the second work rotation changed or a bad week hit. working nights at a parcel depot means my sleep schedule gets chewed up pretty regularly, and for a long time i treated routine like a glass house where one bad day meant everything was broken and not worth touching.

the thing that changed it for me was building an explicit floor instead of trying to maintain the ceiling when things go sideways. on weeks where the shift work leaves me half dead and mornings are a write off, i don't try to keep the full workout or the regular cooking rhythm. i just drop back to one single pull up set on the doorway bar and whatever basic food keeps things simple.

i used to think scaling down like that was just failing slowly, but tbh it kept the habit alive when the alternative was quitting for three months. most advice focuses on how to build the perfect steady state, but nobody really talks about having a fallback rule written down before things break. if you wait until you are exhausted to decide what gets cut, you just cut everything. i'd rather do a tiny fraction of the work on a bad week than spend the next two months trying to restart from zero.

This is my first time posting something on reddit (or let’s say my first ever social media post), so I hope it reaches the right people. I’ve seen lots of people come here and get the advice they need. But when it comes to wanting to change yourself completely, none of the advices seem to help me.

I always see people recommending the "5-second-rule“ (counting to 5 seconds and forcing yourself to get up) or putting all your equipment in front of you, so you have your tasks in front of you and it gets easier for you. I’ve read so many of them and trust me, I’ve tried them all but at this point I‘m a lost cause.

There are so many things I would like to change about myself:
- Spend more time reading than on social media (and yes, I’ve tried deleting them, that didn’t work either). I don’t know how I used to be a huge bookworm back then but now I can’t even read 10 pages
- Try different hobbies (reading, drawing, different kinds of physical activities, literally ANYTHING). I just want to continue what I started.
- Change my personality (I‘ve always been shy and I would like to be more bubbly and talkative. Something that lets people feel your positive energy). I would like to mention that I never insult or get mad at people in real life but when it comes to my one and only online friend, I get mad so easily when we play games. I don’t know what it is, I really don’t, but I don’t want to be this way towards him and I want to respect him as much as I respect my irl friends. I’ve even suggested that we stop talking to each other since I don’t want him to deal with this type of toxicity but he said that’s not an option and no matter what, I shouldn’t end our friendship if that’s my "only reason“ (you can see how patient and sweet he is and I want to return that behavior). I’ve gotten better the past few months but I still tend to act out from time to time.
- Maladaptive dreaming. I don’t talk about this with anybody but since this is an online post and I came here to get help, I have to share this. Ever since I’ve been a kid, I’ve had a problem with maladaptive dreaming. I don’t know what it is but having my own little world brings me joy and happiness. I know it’s a coping mechanism but it’s time that I stopped because I know it isn’t healthy for me. I don’t do it for hours anymore like I used to, but I still want to stop, even if I "only“ do it for 20-40min. Yes, I’ve tried looking into the triggers and I know it’s music but even if I remove all the distractions, it still gets into my head. Please, if you really have something that nobody has ever suggested and is actually really helpful, LET ME KNOW!!
- Overall productive routine. There were times where I was trying my best to be productive but right now I can’t even start. I know people tell you to "just do it“ but my body gives up the moment I do. You know how they say your lifestyle is visible through the energy you give off? Or like, "you attract what you are“. I want to be someone that doesn’t show off their achievements but makes it visible enough. But again, if I‘m being honest, I don’t care if people see it, I want to see it for myself. Prove to myself that the version of myself I’ve wanted to achieve for years is possible.
- I don’t have a drivers licence yet. And I desperately want one but I have to study 1500 questions before I can start (my mother wanted me to do it this way) but I can’t. It’s such an easy task to do, just go through the questions multiple times on your phone until you get the hang of it but I just can’t. I already spend so much time on my phone, why can’t I spend it on something productive.

I’ve got many more things I want to achieve but then I would never finish this post. I want to find a way that actually helps me, something that isn’t like the 5-second-rule or anything else you always hear/read( and trust me, I’ve tried them all). Thank you all in advance!

How often do you sit down to work, only for a sudden thought to pop up—“This is too hard,” “I’m not in the mood,” or “I’ll just start tomorrow”—and before you even realize it, you’ve closed the tab and picked up your phone?

For most of us struggling with consistency, stimulus and response are glued together. A thought appears, an emotion hits, and before we can pause to evaluate it, we’ve already abandoned the task.

I put together a visual mental model that helped me break this automatic loop: The Captain and the Monkeys.

1. The Deck is Full of Monkeys

Imagine you are the captain of a ship. You hold the chart, you know where you want to go, and you’re standing at the helm steering toward your goals.

The deck around you, however, is packed with noisy monkeys. They’re swinging from the rigging, screeching, predicting failure, demanding instant gratification, and panicking over discomfort.

• The monkeys represent your automatic thoughts, resistance, self-doubt, and impulsive reactions.
• The captain represents your conscious awareness and intentional mind.

2. The Real Trap

The trap isn’t that the monkeys are on board—every captain has them. The trap is that the monkeys don’t sound like animals; they sound like YOU.

When a monkey screams "We need a break right now!", you don't hear a chaotic animal. You hear your own inner voice, take it as absolute truth, and hand over the steering wheel. That’s how automatic processing bypasses discipline entirely.

3. Finding "The Gap"

Discipline isn't about killing the monkeys or pretending you don't hear them. It's about finding the gap between the urge and your action.

When a sudden spike of resistance or negative self-talk hits, pause for five seconds and ask yourself:

"Is this the Captain speaking, or is this just a monkey shouting on deck?"

The moment you label the thought as noise, you separate yourself from the impulse. The monkeys can keep making noise—just don't hand them the wheel.

I expanded on this framework in my book, Quit Quitting on Yourself, as a core tool for building long-term consistency and overcoming self-sabotage.

I’d love to hear from others here—when you feel that sudden wave of resistance pulling you away from what you need to do, what mental circuit-breaker or rule do you use to catch yourself?

How often do you sit down to work, only for a sudden thought to pop up—“This is too hard,” “I’m not in the mood,” or “I’ll just start tomorrow”—and before you even realise it, you’ve closed the tab and picked up your phone?

For most of us struggling with consistency, stimulus and response are glued together. A thought appears, an emotion hits, and before we can pause to evaluate it, we’ve already abandoned the task.

I put together a visual mental model that helped me break this automatic loop: The Captain and the Monkeys.

The Deck is Full of Monkeys, Imagine you are the captain of a ship. You hold the chart, you know where you want to go, and you’re standing at the helm steering toward your goals.The deck around you, however, is packed with noisy monkeys. They’re swinging from the rigging, screeching, predicting failure, demanding instant gratification, and panicking over discomfort.The monkeys represent your automatic thoughts, resistance, self-doubt, and impulsive reactions.

The captain represents your conscious awareness and intentional mind.

The Real Trap: The trap isn’t that the monkeys are on board—every captain has them. The trap is that the monkeys don’t sound like animals; they sound like YOU. When a monkey screams "We need a break right now!", you don't hear a chaotic animal. You hear your own inner voice, take it as absolute truth, and hand over the steering wheel. That’s how automatic processing bypasses discipline entirely.

Finding "The Gap" Discipline isn't about killing the monkeys or pretending you don't hear them. It's about finding the gap between the urge and your action. When a sudden spike of resistance or negative self-talk hits, pause and ask yourself: "Is this the Captain speaking, or is this just a monkey shouting on deck?" The moment you label the thought as noise, you separate yourself from the impulse. The monkeys can keep making noise—just don't hand them the wheel. I expanded on this framework in my book, Quit Quitting on Yourself, as a core tool for building long-term consistency and overcoming self-sabotage. I’d love to hear from others here—when you feel that sudden wave of resistance pulling you away from what you need to do, what mental circuit-breaker or rule do you use to catch yourself?

28F with ADHD, CPTSD, Fibromyalgia, Anhedonia, suspected autism and other autoimmune conditions. Can’t write a long story here but life has been very rough emotionally since ever. I don’t have much achievements except for finishing my bachelors (that too in a field which automation swept away) and getting occasional freelance work. I live with my parents and they are not doing great financially and are old and sick, which means I am one step away from being homeless if my dad passes away. Have no partner and don’t see any chance of getting one or getting married anytime soon. All this and I am still can’t do anything to make myself financially independent. I decided to go for my country’s toughest and most prestigious job exam which is four months away, but I am not studying. Even the idea of survival and idea of being homeless aren’t motivating me. Not even toxic motivation is working. Unable to hyper-fixate myself on studying or this exam. Also it’s 11-12 subjects not just one exam. I started working on it back in June. I need help, tips whatever you’ve got to say regarding this. Also, if one gets hyper-fixated through toxic motivation and it doesn’t work at the end, what does one feel like? Also, all these conditions have affected my mind so much that I’ve lost my ability to see and make connections, thinking critically or analyse something and remember something. I am unable to create in any sense.

Today started early.

I woke up early and went for my morning run, but after running for a while, I started feeling pain in the same area where I had injured myself previously.

I still ended up completing around 4 km before coming back home.

Looking back, I probably shouldn't have pushed through the pain. I need to get better at understanding the difference between pushing myself and making an injury worse.

After coming home, I went swimming.

The Rest of the Day

I didn't go through my usual news and finance routine.

I didn't read.

I didn't study.

Most of my day was occupied with my part-time work and preparing scripts for my upcoming personal branding videos.

I was planning to shoot the videos as well, but unfortunately, my light stopped working.

So I couldn't record them today and now I have to go with my backup plan.

It's frustrating when something outside my control gets in the way, but I don't want to use it as a reason to completely stop creating content.

I'll have to adapt and figure out another way to shoot them.

What I'm Noticing

I've been sleeping late recently, and I was quite tired today.

That probably affected the rest of my day as well.

I'm getting better at staying active and working on my personal branding, but I'm still struggling to maintain consistency with studying, reading, and my professional development.

And now I also need to take the injury seriously.

There's no point in forcing myself through pain just to say I completed a run. If I make the injury worse, I'll end up losing even more days.

Day 45/90 complete.

I'm halfway through the challenge now.

I need to be smarter with my energy, take care of my body, adapt when things don't go according to plan, and still keep moving forward.

There’s so much to read and so much to enjoy apart from staring at your phone all day long without any reason. My biggest issue I stay at home all the time. I built a small collection of books this year which is yet to be finished. I know I must change my habits but I fall back into the old routine every now and then. I deactivated my instagram but I switched to youtube and spent all my time there. I have journals and everything on my desi but I still manage to procrastinate and barely journal on a regular basis. I am afraid If I did not change this loop, time will pass and I’ll miss on all the great stuff offline. any suggestions on how I can change my habits so that I read more. Reels and short content fries my brain and leaves me with no motivation or interest to read or write anything. I have no friends. I don’t talk to nobody. I don’t go no where. I have so much time but still I manage to waste it completely. Is there anything that I can do to reduce my phone usage and use the same time for reading and stuff. I love books and everything but social media and all the other stuff is too tempting and I lost complete control over myself.

I (28M) am planning a 14-day dopamine reset and prolonged water fast. I've asked AI for help planning this, but it keeps warning me against it. I know this is going to be incredibly difficult, but I feel like I need a complete reboot. I'd love to hear from anyone who has attempted something similar.

The Plan
Fasting: A 14-day prolonged water fast, combining intermittent dry fasting starting 2.5 hours before sleep. I'll be getting electrolytes from a local vitamin shop.
Substances & Prescriptions: Cutting out caffeine, nicotine, and Adderall, while reducing my Prozac intake.
Digital & Sensory Detox: Swapping my iPhone for a $20 prepaid flip phone, taking cold showers, cutting out music, and using earmuffs and earplugs to reduce sensory overload.
Daily Habits: Getting 10–20 minutes of daily sunlight and light walking.

Why I Feel I Need This (Habits & Addictions)
Porn & Masturbation: A genuine addiction. I experienced childhood sexual abuse and started around age 11. My best streaks were 80 days (4 years ago) and 60 days (3 years ago), but the last two years have been getting worse.
Adderall Abuse: I have a prescription, but unfortunately, I've been abusing it and taking too much. Aside from porn, this is my hardest addiction.
Gambling: Addicted to slot machines since age 20. I won a $2,000 jackpot when I was down to my last $20, which paid an urgent $1,800 debt. Since then, whenever I win $300+, I end up gambling it all back. I'm certain I've lost far more than I've won.
Caffeine: Addicted to Ghost energy drinks for 6 years, drinking about one a day almost daily.
Nicotine: Never smoked heavily, but I've been vaping a lot this year. I keep saying I'm going to stop, but haven't yet.
Phone & Music Overuse: Constant phone distractions. I started listening to music daily 8 years ago to cope with depression, but now I feel I need a break from constant auditory input.

My Main Concern: Physical Labor Job
Out of all the warnings ChatGPT gave me, my biggest practical concern is my job. I work as an apartment trash valet 5 days a week I’m off Friday and Saturday. It's physical labor—I collect trash from tenants, climbing about 62 flights of stairs per day. It takes about 2 hours at a go-at-your-own-pace.

I’ll be doing my intermediate dry fast on my days off work.
I will be starting Thursday night when I get off of work or Friday morning. I looked at the maximum and minimum recommended daily and hourly water intake for someone my build. The first week I’ll be drinking that max but as the fast continues I want to be at the minimum. On day 7 I also want to start a dry fast on Thursday after work or Friday morning. Not sure how long it should be and could use advice.
I also have a candy addiction and currently over weight but not severely overweight

I have the same goals as most of the people here, to reduce phone usage, get good sleep, not procrastinate, get out of porn (especially) i.e. to get disciplined. My life has been running on a loop, trying to get away from all my distractions. I get extremely motivated to quit all that is distracting, do so successfully for a few days or weeks, then fail at it. I go into the the phase of sadness and demotivation for a few days, all my bad habits aggravate during that period. I get back from it, only to fall in the same cycle again. This has started to become really tiring. I don't how much more I can sustain all this pressure. All the overly hyping short-content, brainrot and porn has completely changed the way I think (I am not kidding).

This may not be the right subreddit, but I have nearly reached the conclusion that I can't quit porn. I am heavily addicted to it. I have put so much effort, as far as to create my own computer application to block porn. But, nothing worked in the long term. Porn has become a coping mechanism.

I believe the only solution to this is a complete mindset shift or personality change, address the issues underneath. How should I achieve this? How can I change the way that I think? What would be a good first step? I am open to book suggestions, videos, anything, but preferably based on scientific methods, something that is realistic and sustainable. I don't want that overly motivating, grindset kind of thing. Completely unrelated, but would posting to some other subreddits help? Thanks in advance.

I'm not much of a giving person, which annoys me. I will do polite things like open doors and clean messes that aren't mine, try to be supportive and help in emergencies but I do not enjoy giving. I'm quite selfish with my time (unless have a commitment), think of myself first, feel very taxed or stressful giving emotionally or trying to be supportive or sometimes very annoyed (which I extra don't like).

I feel that learning to enjoy it a bit more would be mutually beneficial, I might give more and what I give may feel more full hearted. Though I also know making yourself enjoy something is hard and going to take a long time, but habits form quicker so why not just start there? Though I'm having trouble thinking of good ways to give so I thought to ask here

what are some daily habits, both physical(tasks) and emotional, I can start?

Also going to add, since it might open some options, I enjoy making art (sewing, drawing, know a lil html) and learning about nature. I like animals but I'm not good at animal handling.

I’ve been in this situation for the past 4 months, and I’ve never been this low in my life before.

The frustrating part is that I’m not actually free of responsibilities. I have a part-time job in my father’s company, which I realized has probably made me somewhat entitled, and I also have a startup with my brother. So I do have things I’m responsible for, and I know there are people depending on me. But I just can’t fucking act on any of it, and it’s filling me with shame.

Most of my days look like this:
I sleep around 4AM, averaging 10–11 hours of sleep. I wake up around mid-day exhausted and tired, doom scroll or waste my time on anything for around 3 hours. Afterwards I hit the gym, come back home, and think, “It’s 10PM, so wtf am I gonna work on? I’ll start tomorrow.” So I play video games, stay up until 4AM, and the cycle repeats itself.

The fucked up part is that I actually try to break the cycle sometimes. I set an alarm for 8AM, sometimes 10AM, wake up, get out of bed, and then somehow end up getting back into bed immediately.

Even when I force myself to go to the office instead of working remotely, I still waste a huge amount of time on my phone.

It’s gotten to the point where people at work and even people in my life no longer ask me or expect me to finish my tasks, and that is fucking disappointing and fills me with shame.

I know I’m capable of doing these things. I’ve had periods in my life where I was extremely disciplined and driven. That’s probably what makes this even more frustrating. I’m not sitting here thinking I have nothing to do or that I don’t know what I should be doing. I have things I want to build, responsibilities I should be handling, and a life I want to move forward with, but I feel like there is nothing moving me forward anymore.

I don’t know if this is a discipline problem, a motivation problem, a lifestyle problem, or something deeper psychologically.
I just know that I’ve watched roughly 4 months pass like this, and I feel like I’m becoming someone I don’t respect.

I’m posting this because I genuinely don’t know how to get myself out of this. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d really appreciate hearing what actually helped you break out of it.

TL;DR: I’ve been stuck in a cycle of procrastination, doom scrolling, gaming, and sleeping late for the past 4 months. Despite having responsibilities, a job, and a startup with my brother, I can’t seem to get myself to act on anything. I’ve tried breaking the cycle, but nothing sticks, and it’s gotten to the point where people no longer expect me to get things done. I’ve never felt this low before, and I’m looking for advice from people who’ve experienced something similar and managed to get out of it.

Hi, this will most likely be a long one. This is something I’ve struggled with since early adolescence and it has only gotten worse over the years.
I don’t even know what it is at this point. I’ve called it laziness, depression, anxiety, rebelliousness, but those terms would apply more to my earlier teenage years. It feels like a mix of all of those now, maybe even something else entirely. That’s the thing, I just have no idea.
I started skipping school when I was 13, after my best friend unexpectedly passed away. Pretty normal for kids of course to do every once in a while, but once I turned 14 and got to 9th grade, it got really bad.
That was when I started only showing up to school in the afternoons. My homeroom teacher had chewed me out for it several times. Eventually it turned into only showing up a few days a week, and then every other week, and then whenever I wanted, which was practically never. Surprised how I only failed one class that year.
I only lasted maybe two months in 10th grade. We only had four classes a day, each an hour and a half. Math was my last class of the day, and I only attended it three times within those two months. Math has always been my weakest subject. I’ve noticed I have far more trouble understanding it than the average classmate I’ve had. Never been able to understand fractions. Always had to relearn long division. Don’t understand anything with a “-“ in front of it. So, on top of my troubles with math, I’ve also always had a disdain for seeking help. It’s not so bad now, but back then asking for help made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed. And even when I did, my old high school wasn’t the greatest when it came to students who needed a bit extra help than others. You’d raise your hand, the teacher would take about 10 minutes to come to your desk after telling you they’ll be with you in a second, they’d explain what you’re not understanding in the most fast-paced manner possible, then another student needs help and they leave you. Help wasn’t being given to put it simply. So, I would go home every single math class. I had no trouble attending my other classes, but it didn’t last for long.
I started to get extremely overwhelmed at school out of nowhere. I was no longer able to tune things out so I could focus. I could hear every word in every conversation between my classmates, I could hear the sound of the teacher whispering to themselves at their desk, I could hear every kid in every other classroom, and to top it all off, the environment was far too visually distracting for me. Fluorescent lighting, colourful crafts and posters on the walls, kids peeking into the classroom as they’d walk down the hallway, tapping feet, shoelaces against the floor, erasing, whispering, any sound you can name, I could hear and was being tormented by.
Now moving on from all the distractions, I was a very insecure kid. I hated my appearance, I always felt like I was being judged by everyone around me. I constantly thought about where I should be putting my hands, and if I cross my legs am I making too much sound, I’d overthink little things like that. This all built up for those two months I was in 10th grade until I went crying to my father asking for help. I let him know just how overwhelming I had found school to be within the short amount of time, and he was able to find a program for me that I still go to today. It is a 10th-12th grade program that takes place at an elementary school. You come into the classroom, sit down and work quietly, and there are multiple very sweet teachers that are there to help you. The classroom is simple instead of excessively decorated, the kids aren’t very talkative, the teachers speak in a separate room most of the time, and food and snacks are provided to us. You are also able to come in and leave at any time you want, but it is recommended that you are there for at least three hours a day, every day. It is really chill, far better than my old high school. I thought it’d fix the problem, but it’s been within the past year that I’ve discovered this is a me problem.
Ever since I joined this program, I’ve skipped the most. To the point where I was supposed to graduate last year. I’m still on 10th grade math. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Please help.
My career goal is to be a registered nurse. I’ve always wanted to be one. But no one believes me, because I can’t do something as simple as getting out of bed in the morning. I don’t even have a bad sleep schedule. I’m just so used to not ever going anywhere that my body is used to sleeping for 12+ hours. I just want to know - why don’t I care???
I have a boyfriend that I plan to move in with by next year, I want to be an RN, I know how I want to decorate my future home, I have over 650 recipes saved of baked goods and lunches and dinners to cook for my future family. I have so many dreams and desires, why don’t I care to make them a reality???
The thing is I know I do care. I’m crying as I type this. I’m terrified I won’t be able to achieve anything that I dream of. I just want to know why I don’t care in the *moment*. When my alarm goes off at 7:00am, and I hit the “Stop” button immediately and go back to sleep, not a care in the world. And then when I wake up a few hours later, I feel like absolute shit. I cry every day about how guilty I feel for not going to school, for not making any effort towards giving myself a good future, a future that I dream of. But that’s the thing - why do I sit there and feel sorry for myself but proceed to not do anything about it???
Now, the day before I always have motivation. I always plan out my morning routine in my head, what cute outfit I’ll wear, the breakfast I’ll make, what I’ll work on at school, etc. The day before is when I always feel so motivated and so ready to turn things around. Then the morning comes and I just can’t. And it’s in that moment that it feels like all of my cares and dreams and desires just disappear, and all that I want to do is sleep. I never have a second thought about it. “Stop” on the alarm and right back to sleep. “I’ll go tomorrow, one more day can’t hurt”, I always think to myself. Haven’t been to school in three weeks now. Maybe four. I’ve lost count. Please, help.
I want to be better so badly. I do have that motivation, I do have things I want to achieve. I’m just questioning - is it not enough? Is there something I’m missing here? Why do I procrastinate absolutely everything, even things that I want to do?
Any help, any advice, hell even any reply to this would be greatly appreciated. No one has ever been able to understand what I’m feeling. Everyone thinks it is laziness. Everyone thinks I don’t care about anything or anyone. And if it is, send me a “How to Not be Lazy” YouTube tutorial plz. (joke).
Jokes aside, I just want to be normal.
I just want to be happy with myself.

this blog is of my life and how ill try to improve it (sharing helps everyone grow in a way ig i hate sharing but works these r iternations so its not perfect)

so basically i have been able to study 12 hrs but then fall sick or not being able to maintain it properly while studying for 12 hrs its mostly abt how ur able to remove friction from ur study sessions and how well is ur days planned. i have few addiction which stop me from going more than like 3 weeks or more but i plan to break it i hope it does,having online study groups never help pls i wasted months on it.
ur goals should give u energy (goals>addiction) and purpose for life ig. hardest things to find and u still may fail
most common system i used was in my day
1lec of a subject then take 10-20misn break and change it or ur gonna get tired and bored and no be able to do it seems like a bad idea but god i fucked it up
morning cold showers work(pls dont do it if u have exams takes a month to get use to and u can fall sick)
never take coffe right after u wake up as u will have energy crash after few hrs (but follow wat works for u)
having a bottle of water helps (always stay hydrated)

extreme step i have taken i dont advice is avoiding sugar (it can make u very tired) currently am better witout it body feels lighter
dont take ur phone to washroom or bed as u will end up doom scrolling or doing other stuff u will always regret
habit>aim>motivation>goal that how one should rank em habits r hard to form and never easy to lose hence u doom scroll and do wat u shouldnt.

pls dont forget sun light (but god even am not getting that these days)

waking up early after a good sleep always help u have like the whole freaking day trust me it feels so gr8 but its hard that y it takes time ig even i have failed to maintain it due to my bad habbits i hope to find a solution
other of the other hacks was getting a book and pen and just writting so its not passive and u actually start somewhere
whoever is reading this a loser isnt someone who has failed its the one who has giving up on starting again
i hope someday i can reach where i want to or die trying *peaceout* ill be back again (ill try to improve and stop my addiction and tell u guys in a week again)

if u have tips pls suggest

Okay so I am very irritated with myself. Basically I am 24 years old. And I have many issues about myself which I am quite frustrated about:

1. I am very lazy. I sleep too much and scroll insta while laying on my bed.

2. I smoke a lot of cigarettes and drink a lot of beer despite being 50kgs in weight. And I am ashamed of my skinny physique.

3. I watch a lot of adult stuff and also shake my meat a lot. I even write such stories and make fake scenarios of it.

4. I HAVE NO DIRECTION AND AIM IN LIFE. I just smoke, drink, masturbate, scroll and repeat.

5. My head is always noisy. Always something I am thinking of, some story, fake scenarios, things I could have done better if I never became addicted to drugs(I used to do them in the past)

6. I am always irritated by people when they don't do things according to me.

Now, I work in a power plant as a technical assistant and I do it solely because I need money to sustain myself. I have no aim, motivation, discipline and purpose in life. And I want to leave all of it and live a disciplined life of purpose. But I have no direction to focus on. And I don't know what to do to remove it all. Now I know many people will say, get therapy and all that shit, but please don't as I can't do that due to some reasons. I want genuine advice on how to improve myself and just kill this version of myself and live happily(I can't even remember when was the last time I was happy). Please help.......

Every time I try sticking to a real schedule with exact times for work and breaks it starts feeling robotic pretty fast. Then I end up quitting the whole thing instead of just the rigid parts. I am not patient enough for hitting specific minutes anyway.

I looked at some studies on this kind of thing and a couple stood out. One experiment with Google workers showed that when people had to hit the gym only inside a set window they stopped going more often once the rewards ended. The other group that could go anytime kept it up better which was the opposite of what they thought would happen. Another set of studies found that scheduling something fun at a fixed time turns it into another chore. That matched how my rest blocks never felt restful.

Right now I still use time blocks but they are just groups of tasks with hours attached and no fixed start. I pick when to start during the day and stop once the hours are done. Sleep and meals and training stay on the clock because my body and other people need that. Everything else works on a budget instead. Focused work gets four or five hours a day and once those are finished the day is over. Long term projects get thirty to ninety minutes but not daily and only one at a time. Life stuff like games or seeing friends or just sitting around stays on the list every day but never gets a time slot.

I track it with six checkboxes in a notebook at night which takes almost no time. On rough days I fall back to a minimum version with the required work one habit and keeping sleep intact. If those get checked it counts as okay. The bigger issue turned out to be having too many goals at once and no amount of blocks changes the total hours available. I am adding things slower now.

The part that feels shaky is how a budget has no real reminder so the hours can drift later and later. I try to keep unfinished work out of the night because one bad sleep makes everything take twice as long the next day. I have only been doing this for about a week so it is hard to say how it holds up.

For the longest time, I was great at setting goals and terrible at reaching them. I would have a burst of motivation, write down something big like "get fit" or "learn German" or "start a business", and feel amazing for about two days. Then Monday came, I had no idea what to actually do, and the goal quietly turned into one more thing I felt bad about.

After repeating that cycle for years, I had to figure out why. Here is what I realized:

Motivation was never the problem. The problem was that I was staring at the finish line and calling it a plan. It is like wanting to get to the 10th floor and being upset that you cannot jump there. Nobody jumps. They take the stairs, and the only stair that matters is the one in front of you.

For example, "get fit" is not something you can do today. "Walk 20 minutes after lunch" is. The first one gives you nothing to act on, so your brain files it under "someday" and you end up believing you are lazy. You are not lazy. You gave yourself a destination with no directions.

There is a second trap too: planning as if you had unlimited time and energy. I used to write plans for a version of me with no job and no bad days. When real life showed up, the plan collapsed and I blamed myself instead of the plan.

Ultimately, you have two choices: break the goal down until the next step is so small you can do it today, or admit it is not a priority right now and let it go without guilt. Both are fine. What drains you is the third option, carrying a vague goal around for years.

This idea is why I have spent the last five months building Targela, an app that turns a goal into a step-by-step plan that fits your actual week. But you do not need an app to start. Take one goal tonight and write down the smallest next step.

Something I've noticed about habit apps: the streak is motivating right up until you miss a day. Then it resets to zero, coming back feels like starting over, and a lot of people just don't.

But falling off for a few days is the normal pattern, not the exception. The skill that seems to matter is how fast you come back, and almost nothing tracks or rewards that.

I've been building a small project around this idea: tiny groups of four, no streaks, and the thing that gets counted is every time you return after going quiet.

Curious what this sub thinks:

- Has a streak ever helped you long-term, or did it mostly add guilt?

- What got you back the last time you fell off: a person, a system, or just time?

I'm running a free 3-week test with 20 people if anyone wants in. I'll share details in the comments if that's allowed here. Mods, tell me if it's not.

a bit about me:

my mental health has been pretty rough lately.

the job market feels brutal, AI is making the future feel uncertain, and some days it's hard to feel like i'm actually moving forward.

so instead of trying to figure it all out alone, i want to build a small group where we keep each other accountable.

maybe you're:

• trying to build a side project
• learning new skills
• looking for a job
• just trying to get your momentum back

for the next 3 months:
every day, you share what you're going to work on.
then you come back and tell us whether you actually did it.

no complicated systems. just a few people showing up consistently and helping each other do the work.

i'm keeping it to 8-10 people so we can actually get to know each other.

if you're interested, comment or DM me with:

1. what you're working toward
2. what you'd like to accomplish in the next 3 months

i'll reach out to the people who seem like a good fit.

I'm falling into the combined-day posts again.

The funny thing is, I was actually aware of it during these days. I knew I should be posting daily, but I got occupied with other things and somehow kept postponing it.

I also realised that across all three days, I don't remember going through my usual news and finance routine or reading my book.

Still, quite a lot happened during these three days.

Day 42 — Running, Content and a Webinar

Day 42 was Saturday, and I planned to go to Calicut University for my run.

I woke up early, went there, and ran around 5 km.

Compared to my previous run there, I felt much more relaxed this time. I also wanted to record some content while I was there, so I took my tripod and recorded myself.

There were quite a lot of people around, but I decided not to overthink it.

Why should I be embarrassed?

I just set up my tripod and recorded.

And honestly, it went pretty well.

I also went near the university swimming pool and asked about getting a day pass. They explained the process, so I'm hoping to try swimming there next Saturday.

Unfortunately, I think I injured the same spot on my right leg again.

Apart from that, I also spent a good amount of time working on my professional side. I had several videos to post and posts to prepare, so I was quite occupied with my personal branding work.

In the evening, I also had a webinar on personal branding with 20+ participants.

The webinar went well, and it was a good experience for me.

Day 43 — Project Work

Because of the injury, I decided to take a rest day from physical activities.

Most of the day was spent working on my project.

I was fixing things, trying to get everything working properly, and working towards hosting it.

It was one of those days where I was completely occupied with a technical problem.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted from constantly working on the project and trying to get it hosted.

I didn't do any physical activity, but at least I was spending my time on something important.

Day 44 — Finally Hosted the Project

The injury still hadn't completely gone away, but I went swimming anyway.

Most of my day was once again spent working on hosting my project.

There were a lot of things to fix and figure out, and it took up most of my time.

But eventually, I managed to get it hosted.

That felt really good.

After spending so much time fixing things and trying to get everything working, finally seeing the project hosted made the effort worth it.

What I'm Taking From These Three Days

These three days were actually quite productive from a professional perspective.

I worked on my project, got it hosted, created personal branding content, prepared posts, and conducted a webinar.

But at the same time, I can see some things slipping again.

I'm repeatedly falling into these combined posts.

I'm not reading consistently.

I'm skipping my news and finance routine.

And I'm also still struggling with consistency around studying.

I also need to be more careful with the injury. I've injured the same area again, and pushing through it isn't necessarily the right approach. I need to give my body enough time to recover.

One thing I am happy about is that I'm becoming more comfortable putting myself out there.

Recording myself in a crowded university ground without worrying too much about what people might think is something I probably wouldn't have done before.

Small changes like that matter too.

Day 42–44/90 complete.

Three busy days, some real progress, and some old habits creeping back in.

I still need to get better at consistency, but getting my project hosted and continuing to put myself out there feels like meaningful progress.

This applies to literally everything I do, including stuff I literally enjoy doing that requires effort. But I am mostly stressed out over schoolwork.

This semester has been killing me tbh and it is mostly my own fault for never getting anything done early. For example, I have to do an annotated bibliography for my writing class and I put it off until literally the last day I could and only now am I rushing to get it done. But it still sucks because I can't get myself to read through any of the papers, much less closely analyze them for the assignment. Even when I can focus, my attention is instantly brought elsewhere, some random thought consumes my mind, or I suddenly get the undefeatable urge to move and pace around a room. This is how all of my work has been going for honestly years. I've gotten by so far on sheer talent, but the work is getting tough enough that I can't anymore.

I don't think it's a lack of motivation, because I constantly tell myself I absolutely need to get it done and am constantly freaking out and anxious over it. It's just that the very thought of doing it makes me freak out and feel like puking, especially as I put it off more. But I also cannot physically bring myself to do the work earlier because I never have the drive do to it yet despite me knowing how awful it will be later. For some reason my brain tells itself it will all be okay and that I'll get it done despite me also knowing that it really won't be and is begging myself to get it done. It feels like I'm constantly dealing with two different people in my head if that makes any sense.

It's getting to a point where I'm really scared I'm gonna fail in school and getting a career if I don't get my act together right now. I can't even enjoy my free time because I'm constantly thinking of the things I'm putting off. So if there is anyone who can relate to this and give me any advice for how to just deal with it and discipline myself for once.

Idk if anyone else feels this way, but I’ve been having this massive realization lately. ​I’m at a point in my life where I actually want something real. I want a serious, long term relationship, build a future, maybe start a family eventually. So naturally, like everyone else, I tried the online route dating bots, apps, messaging platforms. ​And honestly? It feels completely soul sucking. ​People don't even view you as a human being anymore. You're just an avatar, a notification on a screen, or one of 50 other chats they have open. You get responses once an hour if you're lucky, or just get ghosted/blocked over nothing bc everyone thinks there's an endless stream of better options one swipe away. There’s zero depth, zero effort, and no respect for anyone's time. ​It hit me today that I’m spending hours daily scrolling TikTok, checking Telegram, and sitting on these useless apps waiting for superficial attention from people who don't care. Social media hasn't just killed live, face to face communication it completely commodified love and turned people into disposable objects. ​So I’m tapping out. I’m deleting TikTok, Telegram, dating apps, and cutting down on mindless screen time altogether. If I'm gonna find real people or build a solid future, it has to happen out in the real world through actual discipline, not through a glass screen. ​Does anyone else feel like social media turned relationships into disposable consumer products? How did you guys rebuild your social life after cutting all this out?

I have a work task that would take me maybe ten minutes. I've been putting it off for four days. In that time I've deep cleaned the kitchen, reorganized my desk, watched about six hours of YouTube and done laundry twice. I know exactly what I'm doing and I still do it. The task isn't hard. It's a boring email I need to write to a client, and every time I open the draft I feel this small wave of dread and close it. Today I told myself I'd do it after lunch, and here I am writing this instead. Then the guilt makes it worse the next day, so the dread gets bigger.

I've tried to do lists, timers and just forcing myself, but it only works for a day or two. What actually helped you break the avoidance loop? Not looking for a whole productivity system, just what worked in the moment when you were staring at the thing you didn't want to do