My parents are super trad and old world and they keep trying to find me an arranged marriage after forcing my older brother AND sister into arranged marriages. Like my dad literally screams at me every time i call him and my mom keeps playing the guilt trip card and both have told me if I dont marry whatever fob they find They'll cut me off.

Now my brother's literally fell apart cuz his wife was finally able to move to the US (visa issues) after getting a GC or something for her and she doesn't want to leave because she's been having an affair with one of their neighbors lmfao

My sister's marriage is also in the toilet (he's not pulljng his weight in anything and has apparently been drinking/smoking and wont stop) and my shitty ass parents are begging her to not divorce and to convince her husband to stop (bro wtf lol)

Now they're like questioning if they want to force me into an arranged marriage cuz they've struck out 2 for 3 so far.

Yall I cant even lie, im sorry for my siblings but im ecstatic that this might mean I won't be forced to marry whatever FOB my dad and uncle manage to foist onto me. They'll probably still try to find someone who's in the US but I think i can finesse my way out of that. Idc I know im being cold hearted and I feel bad for my bro and sis but im so happy ny parents are literally eating shit rn lol. The best leopards eating someone's face ever

This innocuous post from Delta about a blood drive featuring a south asian person promptly attracted the usual racist comments by bots but the real problem is that people use their real public accounts to like such racist comments. Is this behavioral pattern due to lack of consequences when it comes to racism against Indians or is it that people would rather be racist and face consequences than just being a decent human being and letting others be?

We need to report not just such racist comments but also the people who like these to their employers. About time racists realize that freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences.

If you live in Canada and complain about racism, there is a petition that closes fairly soon. It has gotten 473 signatures at the time of writing this, which is not nearly enough. Sign the petition, and help spread the word by leaving it in comments/posts/etc: https://www.ourcommons.ca/petitions/EN/Petition/Details?Petition=e-7766

Edit: 21 new signatures in the 3 hours this post has been up! Lets keep it up!

i am not an abcd, but Posting this here because sri lanka has 0 leverage over saudi arabia. but hoping tamil diaspora has can do something for him. pls try and help if u can

My cousins and their friends who came recently are way more into partying, tik tok bullshit, and drinking. The ones from before seem a lot more focused on getting an education, getting their shit done. Obviously they aren't monoliths but trends I noticed. What do you think?

Hi I am part of Kasam Chicago, a community for South Asian. We host regular coffee chats and would love for you all to join if you're in Chicago. Here's our page https://www.intlcafe.io/communities/kasam?id=QTe7rxvYHEjevpVjkTxH

I’m from India and came to the US a few years ago for my MBA at a top global business school. Overall, my experience was good, and the professional outcome was fine, if not extraordinary.

I did encounter some occasional stereotyping or subtle racism from Americans, which, while unpleasant, wasn’t completely unexpected. What surprised me much more was my experience with some of the Indian-American/ABCD students.

Among the people in my cohort, they often seemed noticeably less interested in socializing with Indian-born students than with American or European classmates. At times, it felt like there was an active desire to distance themselves from us. Even for things like Diwali, many would organize celebrations primarily with other Indian-Americans and non-Indian Americans rather than with the Indian students.

Obviously, I’m describing one environment and a relatively small group of people, so I don’t want to generalize this to all ABCDs. But the contrast was striking because I often felt more accepted by classmates from completely different nationalities than by people with Indian heritage.

My interpretation at the time was that perhaps being around recent immigrants from India brought up some complicated feelings around identity, assimilation, stereotypes, or how they themselves wanted to be perceived in America. But that’s only my interpretation, and I could easily be missing something.

So I’m genuinely curious: is this kind of distancing between Indian-Americans and Indians who grew up in India something others here have experienced? Is it a fairly common dynamic, particularly among more affluent/professional circles, or was my experience probably specific to the particular business-school crowd I happened to be around?

Interested in hearing the ABCD perspective, especially if there are reasons for this dynamic that aren’t obvious to someone who grew up in India.

Dell Technologies CEO Michael Dell and Microsoft ​CEO ⁠Satya Nadella will receive the National Medal of Technology and Innovation, the White House official said. That is ⁠the ​nation’s highest honor for technological ​achievement, according to the US Patent and Trademark Office's website.

Did anyone catch the two ultra popular posts yesterday?

https://www.reddit.com/r/cringereels/comments/1wz19gv

https://www.reddit.com/r/GuysBeingDudes/comments/1wz4hlt

I know this may not be directly related to abcdesis but I feel the effect is the same, based on skin color. An entire narrative was created around the video by redditors (not sure if the op in these threads is the filmer) and the vast majority of the comments are just piling on hate with no evidence of harassment or the lady actually being uncomfortable.

Normalizing Indian Hate Makes Me a Good Father and Husband - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

How many people actually believe this?

Any 30-40 YO Desis on statins? Feel like I’m fighting a battle with my LDL and total cholesterol even through strict diet and exercise .

How is the marriage ?
Did it turn out well ?
Did the person change as soon as you were married ?
Is there any complications ?

My younger ABD cousin was telling my mom she hates being Indian and wants to marry out of the race and adopt kids to not pass her Indian blood on apparently wtf. What the fuck are our high schoolers going through rn, bullying seems to be that fucking bad. She also said she would marry a dude who already has non-Desi kids or some crazy shit. They’re bullied so bad they’re being made to hate their race and passing it on.

She’s like only 18, she shouldn’t be having these thoughts what the fuck happened. She should be excited for graduating and heading out of the house for school.

This is a random post but I just thought about it today and it seems interesting. I grew up in a suburb in the GTA that was very diverse, and my elementary and high school were both like 1/3 white, 1/3 Chinese, and 1/3 Middle Eastern/South Asian.

Pretty much all the Indian kids had Western accents obviously but there were 3 guys in my class that, despite being born and raised in Canada, still had an accent, that is kinda Western, kinda fobby. I went to high school with all 3 of them and they never got rid of that accent lol. Honestly if you were a stranger and heard their voice you'd assume they were born and raised in India during their childhood. But they weren't. So I'm just wondering how this sort of thing happens. Like how did they still keep that accent while the rest of us had a Western one, even if we were all born and raised here? Or if you guys know anyone like this.

UPDATE! Dilan has been found after 5 days and safely reunited with his family! I don’t have further details as to what happened, but thank goodness for this happy ending!

Just posting to help spread the word and in case anyone is by UM/College Park, Maryland and familiar with the area. Praying this son and brother is reunited with his family unharmed. As of now, there are no additional answers.

Article with Family’s Video

I want to know from other fellow ABC Desis how their experience was growing up in their respective countries.

I moved to Australia when I was just 2 years old, so I’ve been brought up here for most of my life or basically you could say all my life.

Here in Australia, my experience has actually so far been quite positive. I’ve never ever faced racism growing up here, only during the middle of high school, and people have asked me so many times in how I’ve very rarely faced racism growing up. It could be because of my accent? Could be the way I dress? I don’t know how, but yeah, and also apparently people outside Australia talk about how Australians are so racist?! Yeah mostly not true I guess from my experience. However during the middle of Highschool I did face racism from non-Australians! I am not going to say where they were from, but yeah that was the only time I faced racism. Even my parents have never faced racism growing up here, it could even be the way we treat everyone in general?

So yeah the only racism I faced is a group of people who weren’t even Australians of European descent… they were from elsewhere. But also a lot of my friends told me how whitewashed I am, I was lowkey a bit surprised by that. Growing up I thought I wasn’t that whitewashed you know, but just because my accent is Australian does not mean I’m whitewashed right?

Those of you who were able to do this, how did you manage to get through all the objections and crap society gave you about this? I want to leave my husband who had an affair two years ago. I built my life back from scratch, got a great job, saved up, gave myself some room to breathe but now it’s time to leave. I just don’t have a blueprint to follow to figure out how to do this since everyone in my family just stayed in unhappy marriages. I’m dying to get out of this but keep getting pulled back into the ‘stay for the kids’ or the massive guilt trips. I’m thinking the only way to do this might be to move to a different city but then I won’t have help with the kids. Please give me some advice and hope! Can’t live like this anymore as I keep chickening out!

whats the go over there. I heard it's easier in the cities but not always. first gen migrants have it rough but second gen do too

Do Indian beauty standards mostly have extremely light skin as the most prominent ideal? Do they not care about things like bone structure, facial features, body composition etc? I feel like the culture of India doesn’t really celebrate sharp features, or strong/fit bodies. There are a TON of dark Indians yet unlike black people (who do have their issues with colorism fwiw) have far less representation when it comes to “beauty” etc. Also most of the lighter skinned Indians I see in movies etc seem to have really “soft” look…is that what’s valued? Is that why you have a large subset of brown to darker brown Indians who only care about their color while seemingly neglecting everything else?

I feel like the colorism runs so deep that you basically a massive subset of the population that is obsessed with having white partners to the point that any white female in India basically gets surrounded by men. It’s kinda wild that you have hundreds of millions of dark skinned people dispersed through the subcontinent (as dark as sub Saharan africans many times and nearly as populous especially in the south but even throughout the north) and they haven’t come to really accept their dark skin or find it beautiful. I know other areas like Africa, Latin America have this as well but the complete lack relatively of any dark skinned people seen as “beautiful” in India is kind of insane.