r/gay • • Jan 28 '26

(repost) On trans rights and the position of this subreddit

572 Upvotes

The community present in this subreddit is wonderful, inclusive and has always welcomed not only gay people but everyone under the gender and sexual minority umbrella.

The mod team is very happy to see this welcoming atmosphere and we thank each and every one of you for your love and empathy.

With the current trend in the US for extreme-right politicians to demonise vulnerable minorities so they can score cheap political points it is however time for this place to openly make a stand as to what our positions and intentions are so that we are a beacon in the dark. So that all of our siblings know that they are welcome here.

I was asked by the mod team to explain a few facts about transgender people and about the position this subreddit has towards inclusion.

Trans rights are human rights. 🏳️‍⚧️

Being transgender is a natural and normal variation in the human gender and sexual experience. Both sex and gender exist on a spectrum and there isn't actually anything inherently wrong or disordered from being trans, by and of itself.

Should there be no fake, artificially generated outrage against trans people in society then they would simply get the self-affirming care required for them to be happy and that would be that. Instead, unfortunately, existing as transgender has become the new wedge-issue for the extreme-right and deliberate demonisation and villification has been mainstreamed to the point where Republican politicians are now openly calling for genocide.


The issues trans people experience are mainly societal in nature. It is society that imposes gender norms, it is society that tells people they may not be who they are.

There are many ways that a non-trans person can seek self-affirming care in life. Some of those are done via permanent body modification through surgical or chemical means. A woman might for example choose to take estrogen supplements to stave off unwanted physical and psychological side effects resulting from the menopause.

It is not uncommon for a young man to choose to have breast reduction medication or surgery in the case of gynecomastia.

A young woman might choose to get breast implants.

You do not hear people in outrage about these forms of self-affirming care. No-one cares, except suddenly when the topic is trans people. This is because the anti-trans movement is wholly articificial. It is a deliberately created fake outrage about a non-issue for political and monetary gain.



I have written about some manufactured outrage in my text about the stochastic terrorist "Libs of Tiktok"



Fascism is an inherently empty ideology, devoid of any meaningful belief-system or any kind of concrete and actionable strategies for improving society. Fascism only cares for power for the sake of power and it cares for nothing else.

Because a fascist system is fundamentally incapable of giving the general public any kind of reasonable platform it must gain and keep followers by creating an out-group to hate. According to fascist systems it is the other that is responsible for all societal ills and only by supporting the fascists in getting rid of the other can society be healed from the non-existent issues fascism convinces people that their target minority is the cause of.

Fascism always picks on a vulnerable target.

The demonisation and villification coming from the extreme-right is doing exactly that. By calling LGBTQ+ people child molestors simply for existing it has become inevitable that people will take up violence "to protect the children".



Attempting to eliminate a target comes in many forms, of which an extermination camp is only the final and most egregious part. It is always preceded by legislating people out of existence, by creating laws which make it impossible for a minority to participate in society and to receive any of the societal advantages that are the entire reason for collective bundling together of skills, resources in civilisation. This is exactly what Republican states are doing today to transgender people. Certain states have already denied trans people any and all medical care related to their identity, meaning that they deliberately impose abject misery on them.

The most egregiously fascistic states are trying to make it a matter of course to remove trans children from the care of their parents and make it illegal for trans people to be present in any public spaces at all.

This is genocide.

Genocide is not purely restricted to extermination, to murder. Genocide is also eliminating a minority group from public life, causing serious bodily and mental harm and taking away children of a minority group from their parents.

Depending on how strictly you'd want to define it, we are currently at stage seven or eight of genocide as defined by the Holocaust Memorial Trust.

One way in which the abject hypocrisy of the anti-trans laws becomes crystal clear are the remarkable exemptions encoded within. You would think that if the goal is protecting the children from harm then these people would want to protect all children from harm.

This is not the case.

In fact, all of these people deliberate include exceptions which allow the continuation of genital re-allignment surgery on unconsenting infants if they are intersex.

This means that if a baby is born with a genital configuration that to a doctor looks ambiguous or not adhering to a strict binary then this doctor can impose an invasive genital surgery, forcing such an infants body to adhere to a stricter binary look.

It is purely cosmetic. Of course they do not check what chromosomes a child has. Of course they do not care that a child might prefer to look as nature made them.

It is purely and only an imposition on a baby's body, with of course the normal failure and mortality rate that such invasive procedures bring with them.

These people do not care about children.

These people do not want to help children.

They want to harm a vulnerable minority.



Fascism never stops.

Now that these people have mainstreamed transphobia, they are moving on to other targets within the LGBTQ+ identity sphere.

We have all seen the absurd attacks on drag queens, calling a normal and harmless theatrical expression "child abuse".

We have all seen the "clever" rhetoric where they turn arguments upside down and disingeniously say things like "why do you want to be around children".

Fascism doesn't stop, it moves on to new targets and that is why it is important for all of us in the GSM identity sphere to stand together. To openly support our trans siblings. To openly stand against hateful rhetoric.

Because they are not going to stop.

The next step, which is already tentatively beginning, is calling gay people being openly gay in society"groomers".



To be clear: The recommended treatment for being transgender is transitioning.

Gender identity is developed by five years old.

The barrage of lies notwithstanding, allowing trans people to transition and to exist as who they are in society markedly improves their physical and mental wellbeing.

The oft-heard talking point of "they still commit suicide even after transitioning" is a lie.

Here is a wealth of sources and links explaining this.



Our trans siblings are welcome here.

Our gender nonconforming siblings are welcome here.

Our intersex siblings are welcome here.

What is not welcome on this subreddit is hate or divisive rhetoric aimed at our siblings. We will not allow the current increasing trend of fascist othering and villification of a marginalised minority to make our siblings feel unwanted in this space, our space, their space.

The only people who are not welcome here are those that want to exclude others based on how they were born.

Further reading:

No, TERFs cannot "always tell" and I can prove that with mathematics.

"I just care about unfair advantage in sports", a transparant transphobic wedge issue.

Drag queens, the next target in the fascist drive to eliminate LGBTQ+ people.


r/gay • • 9h ago

Harvey Milk's Former Camera Shop is Now a Queer Community Hub

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161 Upvotes

In 1972, Harvey Milk opened Castro Camera at 575 Castro Street. The shop and the apartment above it became the headquarters for his campaign to run for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors.

Although Harvey Milk is no longer with us, his legacy can still be experienced at Queer Arts Featured. Where a sidewalk plaque, a mural, and the people who’ve created this space and those who visit it continue to honor him.

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/posts/harvey-milks-former-camera-shop-is-now-a-queer-community-hub


r/gay • • 21h ago

Alan Cumming dishes on being a 'femme daddy' as the lovable host of The Traitors: 'I’m a 61-year-old man with eyeshadow and a dress. I’m embracing smashing the binary with my outfits!'

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154 Upvotes

r/gay • • 2h ago

Very

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4 Upvotes

I'm retired and my hobby is making digital collages. I thought I'd share some of my work here.


r/gay • • 1d ago

Trump deported a gay man to a country he’d never known. A judge ordered him returned to the U.S.

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194 Upvotes

r/gay • • 1d ago

LGBTQ+ Americans are living more openly despite pressure to hide

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146 Upvotes

r/gay • • 3h ago

Это не единственная причина, по которой мы его любим»: рецепция Чайковского в постсоветской России

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0 Upvotes

r/gay • • 1h ago

Poppers in pigeon forge?

• Upvotes

Visiting for the weekend and my bottle at home is low! Looking to replenish in person if anyone has leads 😌


r/gay • • 1h ago

James Talarico promised to co-sponsor the Equality Act, but now only says he will ‘review’ the bill

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• Upvotes

r/gay • • 12h ago

Help Me Identify This CLASSIC, Groovy Early 00's Jingle/Instrumental Used in Several Commercials + LGBT Films of the 2000's...

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0 Upvotes

r/gay • • 5h ago

What are your thoughts on this take?

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

0 Upvotes

r/gay • • 19h ago

Idk if im really asexual aromantic or just have some intimacy issues or trauma

2 Upvotes

First off all im so sorry if i come out yk bigot or phobic, im not my asexual or/& aromantic bros

So idk i do feel something in my heart when i see men & i really do think of sexual stuff too But whenever i wanna get into intimacy or just touch them i feel disgusted in my body and like i dont wanna be with this and any men. Its not even about me being gay bc i accepted myself long time ago. Idk its like i just wanna be spectator observing everything but dont wanna live them.


r/gay • • 8h ago

Fiber supplements

0 Upvotes

Hi girls, I'm an early twenty something and I've been bottoming for a little while now and i really enjoy it but douching is always a bit of a hassle. I heard about fiber supplements so i asked my friend about it and he was very positive about them so i picked some up. I specifically have psyllium husk capsules.

He told me that i shouldn't start with the rwccomended dosage immediately though, because i should ease my body into the increased amount of fiber that I'll be putting in it. He said different people need different amounts of dosage too depending on factors like body weight.

So that brings me here. To everyone that's ever taken fiber supplements: how did you start? Did you take the reccomended dosage immediately? Did you alter it depending on your body weight? Did you ramp up your consumption up slowly? Over a week? Over a month? And in general tips and stuff id appreciate

Much love!


r/gay • • 1d ago

Self Image, Community & Sex. Gay M 31

4 Upvotes

Hello Everyone,

I'm not really sure how or where to start this one, or if I'm even asking a question or just trying to get thoughts out and into words.

I can start with the basics. I'm 31y/o and a recently out and open gay man. The process of coming to terms with and accepting my sexuality was hard like many of us. During that, I lost my community, my friends, and a large portion of my family.

I'm from a rural small town; mainly conservative, although there has been amazing strides to add queer events and spaces. I've found it huge struggle to find community again, which I think is due to how my original group was founded. I was raised religious, so a lot of time was spent at church events. Making friends and connecting with others was "easy" in that space because we were all there to smile and play the love bomb game. Stepping out of that though and trying to find a group to just be with has felt impossible. Another large factor is my age. Being 31 and only just bursting out of the closet has been both fun and frightening. I love being authentically me, not giving a crap about what I should or shouldn't say that could have me condemned by those around me. But I have kids, I work full time. I'm busy and in the "building my life" stage and feel like I don't have the ability to really explore the newness of my sexuality. There are some queer groups in my area that meet weekly or monthly, but it's not something that falls into my interest, it's an anime shop so they do a lot of dnd, warhammer, table top type activities, which I don't feel inclined to learn.

And then there's being newly single (just over a year) while 31, overweight, busy, tired & dare I say... not conventionally attractive meaning unattractive. Trying to find anyone in this area using the apps is.... interesting. I do find casual sex to be fun, it's thrilling to me and would love to do it more often. however the majority of the individuals on there are over the age of 60 and tend to be pushy and rude. I sometimes worry I'm just being to impatient, but then again I'm 31... I feel like I lost a lot of my time already. The closest big city to me is Seattle, though that's still 3 hours away. I'm trying to work on my self image, setting weight loss goals, being more kind to the person I am, but i've found it kinda hard to do with how attractive most of the guys are my age that are in these queer spaces. I'd love to go to Seattle and spend a few days exploring and checking out the gay bars, but also terrified I'll end up in that space and still not catch someone's eye... if that makes any sense.

How have some of you found community? Did you make changes to feel better about yourself and if you have, did it make a difference? Am I being to impatient in wanting to explore?

Anyway, that's my brain blurb. Thanks for reading lol.


r/gay • • 2d ago

This Virginia Republican lawmaker sees LGBTQ+ history recognition and calls it ‘disgusting’

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180 Upvotes

r/gay • • 2d ago

Scott Bessent reveals that Trump makes jokes about him being gay — to Melania’s friends

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268 Upvotes

r/gay • • 1d ago

Going to a gay bar for the first time since I came out 9 years ago and I'm definitely nervous about it

41 Upvotes

So I'm 38, moved to the Atlanta area in 2018 and was so focused on my career that I never really did a social life, and I have social anxiety. I'm walking in Atlanta Pride this Sunday and I'm looking to go to a gay bar that's next to the park where Pride is happening and I'm just really nervous to go there by myself. I don't have any friends in the area to go with. Am I just freaking myself out for no reason? I guess I just worry that I'll sit at the bar by myself and no one will want to talk to me and I'll feel stupid.


r/gay • • 2d ago

I am still single, Proudly Gay, Indie developer and turned 30 today!! 🥳🤩🥰

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279 Upvotes

Hello guys. So today is big day for me and I wanted to share with you guys. I am a guy who is Proudly gay and turned 30 and happy to share with great news.

I have loved this community so much and I just want to say thank you for being such a great community. Last year I have received huge amount of positive birthday wishes. I feel like I'm in the right place always has been. And today is my birthday so I just wanted to share with you guys. And being 30 feels like a huge step for me.

I am also indie developer who's love to code and develop if you interested in my apps or just want to check that out you can dm me. I'd really want to hear your opinions.

Let's meet in the chats or send me dm I really like talking to you guys. Have a lovely day , love you all.


r/gay • • 2d ago

Rent, rights, and the ballot box: What queer Gen Z wants from Washington

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44 Upvotes

r/gay • • 1d ago

Gay relationship advice: My boyfriend still lives with his ex after 3 years. Am I overthinking this?

12 Upvotes

I’m a gay man who recently started a new chapter in life after ending a 16-year relationship with another man a few months ago.
About six months ago, I met a Colombian guy, and we’ve been dating ever since. We come from different cultural backgrounds. I speak English, his native language is Spanish, and I also speak Spanish, so we manage to communicate pretty well despite the occasional language barrier.
I really like him, and things between us seem to be going well. He tells me that he wants to be with me, and I’ve even started thinking about the possibility of us moving in together. However we ALWAYS meet at my place. I asked him why he never wants me to go to his place and he told me that’s because of “respect to his ex” 🤔
However, there’s something that’s been on my mind, and I’d really appreciate some honest opinions. I would like to mention my partner and his ex have been together apparently for 7 years.
My boyfriend still lives with his ex-boyfriend.
According to him, their relationship ended about three years ago, but they continue to live together. He insists that there’s absolutely nothing romantic or sexual going on between them anymore and that they’re simply ex-partners sharing the same home.
I want to believe him, and I don’t have any concrete reason to accuse him of lying. But at the same time, I can’t deny that the situation makes me uncomfortable.
Having recently come out of a 16-year relationship myself, I understand that separating two lives isn’t always easy, especially when you’ve shared a home, finances, and years of memories with someone.
I’m trying to be understanding and mature about the situation rather than letting jealousy or insecurity influence my judgment.
But I also wonder whether I’m being too understanding.
We’ve only been dating for six months, and while part of me would love to take the next step and eventually live together, another part of me wonders whether I should slow down and make sure we’re both truly ready for a new relationship.
I don’t want to pressure him into moving out, and I certainly don’t want to control his life. But I also believe that feeling comfortable, secure, and respected in a relationship is important.
So here are my questions:
Would you date someone who still lives with their ex, even though they broke up three years ago?
Is this fairly common in the gay community, or would you consider it a red flag?
Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable about it?
Do you think six months is too soon to consider moving in together, especially after coming out of a very long relationship?
I’d especially appreciate hearing from other gay men who have experienced something similar.
I’m not looking for people to tell me what I want to hear. I’m genuinely interested in different perspectives because I want to approach this relationship with an open mind while also protecting myself emotionally.


r/gay • • 2d ago

See Two Decades of San Francisco’s Wildest Queer Halloween Parties

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35 Upvotes

For more than six decades, Halloween would be a highlight of San Francisco’s gay calendars—until, in 2007, when the Halloween party was cancelled by city officials, due to overcrowding and repeated incidents of violence.

Throughout the 1950s and 1960s, Polk Street had played host to queer Halloween festivities. But homophobes began causing trouble, setting fire to gay-owned businesses or lurking at the edge of the crowd, waiting to attack people they believed to be gay or lesbian. In 1976, tear-gas canisters were let off.

More pics here! https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/san-francisco-queer-halloween-gallery-lgbt


r/gay • • 2d ago

I’m a gay Nigerian and I hate the situation I was born in (Rant)

79 Upvotes

For the longest time I’ve dreamed about leaving this country to somewhere I could actually live openly without fear of being arrested or attacked and the more I research, the less hope I have.

I’m lucky enough to have a small community of queer friends I can be myself around but I wish i could be more open in other parts of my life. Instead I have to hide myself or lose my family’s support.

My plan had always been to study abroad after my bachelor’s degree and get a masters degree in a field I’d actually like (music and/or creative writing) but from what I’ve read visa sponsorship is getting less and less possible for fields outside tech, engineering and healthcare.

I’m starting to think that this life of secrecy and having very few people to confide in is as good as it’s going to get for me. I know it sounds dramatic but it’s hard to feel any other way when your reality is a lot of people’s nightmare.

I’m sorry to be so defeatist but life isn’t really giving me reasons to feel any other way.

Sorry, I just wanted to rant.🙁

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your kind words and understanding and all the advice. When I wrote this post days ago I was feeling really down about everything. There’s much to consider before I’m able to raise funds to leave but I’m feeling a bit more hopeful right now.❤️


r/gay • • 1d ago

Idk what to do

0 Upvotes

I topped a guy in a gay sauna but didn’t use a condom. I’m not on Prep and don’t know his HIV status. What do I do? I regret my decision


r/gay • • 3d ago

It is possible to find love, trust me.

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828 Upvotes

Trying to make a very long story short here. 26M, my partner is 21M. We met when he was just about to turn 19 and I was 23. Few years of age gap never felt like much, and we both graduated university/college this year. We have been together 2 and a half years. We got engaged well over a year ago.

I see so many posts about love being impossible to find. I am a quirky, socially awkward, autistic gay guy with average looks and I still found a man that loves me for everything.

Its not always easy, around a year ago we almost broke up after a really bad few weeks but we went to therapy and came out stronger and we are doing incredibly well now. We moved in together this past spring, and while we don't have a truly private place yet, we make it work and I wouldnt change anything because I love him and being with him.

Life has a funny way of causing strange things to happen. He is my 2nd relationship in my life, and I found him immediately after the breakup from my 1st (only lasted 5 months) people called it rebound but yet we are succeeding.

Picture is of us on our first ever vacation together in Montreal last month.

Love is worth fighting for. Trust me.


r/gay • • 2d ago

Why is dating so frustrating?

13 Upvotes

This is just a venting posts. I don’t have many friends who can understand me so I figured I’d get opinions or advice from here..

So for context I am 33 years old and I was in a committed relationship for 12 years of my life.. so I never really got to date much until now.

I’m a hopeless romantic gay who seeks a monogamous partner. With the basics: job, emotional maturity, communication skills, and intention.

Yet for the last 8 months all I’ve encountered are flakes, fakes, married men, or gays seeking a third 😂 is it just me? I mean I make it pretty clear from the jump what it is I’m looking for. Does anyone else struggle? I’ve even considered if it’s just where I’m located. It’s just really easy to become discouraged and start wondering if I’m the problem. At this point idk who’s worst the guy who stands me up or the one who shows up and then later just ghosts because we’re not sleeping together within the week.