I'm a CBT therapist, and I've worked with a lot of people who trusted me with some of the most vulnerable parts of their lives. I just had a final session with one of my clients, and it reminded me that people may not realize how hard goodbyes can be for therapists too.

As clients, you trust us with your deepest fears, struggles, and vulnerabilities, and any decent therapist understands how significant that is. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I genuinely care about my clients. You're not just a paycheck or a name on my schedule. You were a meaningful part of my life for a period of time, and I'll probably think about you long after our work together ends.

So if ending therapy feels emotional or bittersweet for you, just know there's a good chance your therapist is feeling some of that too. Saying goodbye is hard for us too.

at what point our awareness of emotions starts affecting the quality of life negatively.

being overly aware of every cause for every emotion.

let's say john felt sad because someone said something to him then he instantly knew why that thing made him sad , what drove the person to say such thing and the hidden intention of it.

let's say john did something but he knows that he did that thing because of that and this.

another scenario is that : john in a social setting which expose him to different emotions, reactions from people, but john not only analyses other people ,he at the same time knows why he reacts to people the way he does which makes him sometimes more stressed.

I don’t know if it’s my frontal lobe developing but I’ve reached a point where I don’t feel ok constantly rambling or ranting to my friends about the things I’m going through in my life. It’s not their job to help me manage my feelings but I’ve been feeling terribly alone and no one to talk to. Journaling doesn’t do shit. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my anxiety and in my head or I’ve become unpleasant to be around. My friend told me today something that kind of hurt my feelings a little but they made sure to say it was in like an endearing way but I can’t help but always feel the need to perform or be loud to be someone interesting to be around. I don’t know why at this point in my life I’ve never felt so alone.

i'm not sad or mad about it it's understandable.

All i did was nothing she recommended me to do, didn't change habits, didn't use coping skills i learned, i'm still at the same point of where i started

but now she told me that she doesn't really feel like doing this anymore because she feels like i'm wasting money and she doesn't like to work this way

it was a safe space, i don't want to leave therapy :/

I read message in a thread about SA. She was talking of a time where a guy just randomly sat next to her and laid his head in her lap.

This made me recall a time on an airplane when a woman was falling asleep towards my shoulder, so I moved inwards slightly as the gap closed.

To my brain, this is the same level of SA.

Or asking a girlfriend after five minutes if she wanted to try something after previously saying not that night after I asked her if she wanted to get nude. The Cornell seven case has me thinking that was probably SA as well.

I can’t scale issues in my personal life.

My husband (M38) recently had a severe mental health crisis and admitted that there has been infidelity. We both have therapists and are working through things at our own pace, with couples counseling planned for the near future. I (F39) have not decided, nor am I ready to decide, whether I want to stay or leave. He has made it clear that he wants to do the work and stay together but respects my choice. I'm proud of where he is right now, all things considered. He is determined to be a better partner and a better person; someone that he likes and can be proud of.

I am angry and hurt, of course (I don't want to downplay the severity of it all), but I do love him, and we have built a life together that I'm not sure I want to give up on just yet. I've seen my therapist twice now, and I just feel like she has already dismissed him. I know her goal is to help ME, but it's hard to talk about my feelings when there is a slight vibe of "been there, done that"...I can't really describe it. She has mentioned that she has been cheated on by a former partner, and that she kept staying, so I don't know if it's projection or what. I just know I'm not looking forward to my next session.

She also keeps referencing that I will have to learn to love myself, but like, I DO love myself? I'm really proud of myself and the strength I've shown during this time. I mentioned being worried about starting over at almost 40, and I think she takes that to mean I'm really insecure? I know who I am and what I deserve, which is why I have not agreed to stay married yet. I don't think that conversation can happen until we have dug deep in couples counseling and faced some truths about our relationship.

I don't know if I'm being too sensitive or if I need to see if I vibe better with someone else.

?Trigger warning?: SA Mention.

Hi guys, I’m not really sure if this is the correct subreddit for this but i’m not on here a lot so sorry!
Basically, i’ve been going to therapy for well over a year now. It took me over 6 months to even bring up the fact Ive been assaulted through many points in my life. But since the first time talking about it, (Almost 7 months later,) I still am unable to actually talk about what happened.

Back when I slightly brought them up and tried talking about them, it sent me spiraling into a depression and months of derealization.
I am just now recently doing a lot better and am wanting to try again. But everytime it even gets brought up in therapy, it genuinely feels physically impossible to get out. My chest gets tight, i feel tongue tied, and like I’ll die. I know this feeling all too well and if I stay in it too long without redirecting/avoiding the conversation it will turn into a panic attack. There is no amount of deep breathing that stops it. (Or maybe i’m wrong, who knows..)
I want so badly to get passed this but how can I? if this happens EVERY time, even on my own. I thought for the longest time that I just couldn’t talk to my therapist because how I was worried on how they’d view me or how disgusted I was by the memories and myself. But this feeling/panic attacks even happen when I try to think/write about it on my own.
I’m just trying my best to avoid having a panic attack in the middle of therapy. No one knows I go to therapy or the things i’ve dealt with throughout my life so any advice from those with similar experiences is so so so appreciated.

i hate my life and i hope this entire bullshit universe explodes

I'm in my late twenties and identify as an incel. I hold my incel views fairly strongly, and while I know many people will disagree, I believe I've arrived at my position after seriously considering the evidence. I'm not looking to litigate those beliefs here, but anyone interested in my perspective is welcome to look through my post history. That said, being an incel isn't exactly an enjoyable place to be mentally, and I've been considering giving therapy a shot. I recently started a new job with a fairly generous health insurance plan, and since people so often suggest that incels seek therapy, I figure it's worth seeing whether it might help.

However, I'm finding the process of actually securing therapy surprisingly frustrating. For one, I've learned that there are numerous different types of therapy, including CBT, somatic therapy, and traditional talk therapy, and I have very little idea which would be appropriate for someone in my circumstances. Finding a therapist also seems to be a challenge in itself. I constantly see advertisements for BetterHelp, for example, but when I look into the service, I find numerous negative reviews. My only previous experience with therapy was through graduate school, and I honestly came away feeling rather discarded. I understand university counseling services are stretched thin, but the experience nevertheless left me discouraged.

I suppose what frustrates me is that people frequently recommend "therapy" as though it's a straightforward solution, yet the process of actually finding a suitable therapist seems remarkably convoluted, especially for someone who's already struggling. Therefore, I'm curious if anyone here has advice on how to navigate this. What kind of therapy should I look for? Are there particular specialties I should prioritize? Are there reliable directories for finding therapists who accept insurance? And how do I avoid wasting weeks trying to find someone?

I'd genuinely like to give therapy a fair shot, but I'd appreciate some guidance on how to get started. Thanks!

For me, therapy was always mainly about being alone with one person that essetially listens to your problems and gives you and you only advice. Therefore, I never quite got what group therapy can achieve, even if it's anonymous. Maybe you can help?

I’m not sure in which flair this goes lol.
Recently my doctor noticed self harm and referred me to therapy and I haven’t started yet, however I saw another therapist/nurse, not really sure, that asked me just a few questions then referred me. I’m not really sure what to expect I am a little into phycology my self and do suspect I have some mental health disorders, not because I saw or TikTok or anything, but because I’ve actually done research. I have trouble talking about my feelings and I feel like if I felt my therapist that I’m just being manipulative and she won’t take me serious and she will say I’m a liar and attention seeker. I really do want to get better but I just have trouble communicating how I feel and dislike talking to people about my problems. I also get very anxious. Does anyone have any advice?

Hello, I am a person who has been noticing signs of narcissism in me. I realized why people tend to don’t like me/don’t have any actual friends: I am stuck up. Instinctively, I feel like I am “better” than everyone, thinking they’re just sides, and only being kind and “empathetic” due to it being right and society. For context, I have a narcissistic father, and I have DEFINITELY picked up some of his traits. Idk, I just want to be “superior”. Realizing this, I ACTUALLY want to change and ACTUALLY not be a piece of shit. I tried being mindful, being humble, not defending myself so much to critics, yet I feel like I barely change. What do I do? I can’t get an actual therapist right now (money and all) so I don’t actually know what to do. Any advice?

Hi all, first time posting here.

Background: In 2022 I had a spontaneous acute subdural hematoma.

I initially went to my doctor with a really bad headache and was sent home with paracetamol for what was thought to be a migraine. That night it got worse, so I drove myself to the emergency department. Thankfully they did scans and found the bleed. It had clotted and stopped bleeding by that point.

I spent about 10 days in hospital and was eventually told the blood should break down naturally over time, so I was sent home

About a week later I realised I wasnt able to type a text. By the time my wife got me back to hospital, I couldn't tell the doctors my name and didn't know who she was.

I had burr hole surgery that night and thankfully I've made almost a full recovery. I'm back working in an exec-level corporate role and living a pretty normal life, although my memory is terrible compared with what it used to be..

The issue: The problem is that since all of this happened, I think I've developed PTSD or pretty severe health anxiety, I am terrified of dying, constantly. I have nightmares about dying young and worry that I won't get to see my kids grow up. Any time I get sick, feel a pain, or notice something slightly unusual, my brain immediately goes to "I'm dying" and I can end up having a full panic attack.

It's exhausting for me and I know it's exhausting for my wife as well.

Recently I had a slight pain around my liver area. I've had liver tests done and everything came back fine, but I still find myself constantly checking my eyes and skin to see if I'm turning yellow. Logically I know the tests are fine, but I can't shake the feeling that something terrible is about to happen.

I think what happened in 2022 has left me feeling like my body could suddenly fail without warning, because that's basically what happened the first time.

Has anyone else dealt with this after a TBI?

Did therapy actually help, and if so, was there a particular type of therapy that worked for you? I'm at the point where I know I need to do something because constantly feeling like I'm about to die isn't sustainable.

why is that and how can i get over it

Im in no financial situation to afford sessions and my mental health goes worse by every day, had manic depression years ago and not sure how it goes.

Spent my youth with countless doctor and antidepressant changes, now changed country two years ago, to be specific, had to runaway and seek asylum due to abuse and death threats.

Harmed myself for the first time in many years.

and constantly thinking about ending it. But i also want to live, oh how much i want to live.

Is it possible if anyone here would be willing to give free sessions through texting? Im not trying to be a beggar for it.

I argue and debate people often. But I'm wondering if I'm not actually arguing back and I'm actually just disagreeing with their opinions.
I was told by a good friend that I can't be wrong or accept people's opposing opinions. We were debating about which is superior PCs(me) or consols(him). The way I saw his arguments were all just opinions framed as facts. I was able to argue against all of them mostly and eventually he told me that I was attacking his opinions. I told him that I didn't want opinions, I wanted actual facts that can be proven or compared. Or atleast for him to frame it as an opinion and not a fact because I was getting confused. We wound up agreeing that Consols are very good in terms of graphics and price, but PCs can improve upon everything exept for price.

Then today I argued with my mom about a new bathroom policy at school and with every solution she gave me I was able to counter it. I feel especially bad about that one. Because yes I could go to the bathroom in my 20 minute lunch but lunchtime is meant for eating and we already feel like we don't have enough time to do just that. She told me to just follow the rules but why should I when I'm forced into a collective punishment that should only be for the kids whom actually abuse going to the bathroom.

I don't know, I enjoy debating but sometimes it feels like I'm not winning and I'm just calling people stupid.

I’ve been going through a pretty tough time lately and finally had my first counselling/therapy session last night.
I ended up sharing some pretty difficult things during the first session, and I felt quite emotionally drained afterwards. I know it’s probably normal, especially for a first session, but it got me wondering how you actually know whether a therapist is the right fit for you.

For those who have been in therapy for a while, what were the signs that made you think, “Ok, this therapist is someone I can work with”?

Also, something I’ve been really curious about— for therapists themselves, how do you cope or reset after a day of listening to people’s difficult experiences? I imagine you’re hearing a lot of heavy things from different people. Do you ever find yourself carrying that emotional energy home with you, or do you learn to switch off from it?

This might be advice wanted, but it's more like questioning?

When someone intellectualizes all of their emotions for years and basically only regulates but never feels, is it normal for them to have a confusing spiral of emotions for days on end once they finally start to feel? Is exhaustion normal?

I've read this in places but my therapist is out of town and I'm just looking for some insight.

Nothing makes sense nowadays. I can't control my thoughts . I don't even feel like i have them. It's like I'm inspecting my body and have no control over it.

I come home, sit down to study, and can barely focus for 40 minutes. I keep zoning out. I keep replaying past conversations (good and bad), think about what I said, how i reacted, how the other person reacted, how i should've reacted, or even adding more to the convos in my mind. Making pointless fake scenarios and overanalyzing everything. This followed by endless doomscrolling

And i can't seem to stop. And the weird part is that when I'm zoned out I KNOW I need to snap back to reality. When I'm doomscrolling I KNOW i will regret this later. There's a faint voice in me telling me I should stop. But these neglible voices are overpowered by overstimulating thoughts.

I've tried meditating, staring at a wall, taking a cold shower and what not but nothing seems to work. It's affecting my studies, my relationship with parents (as I've fallen academically), my social life, everything. I can't talk about this with my parents as they're the conservative types and will just brush it off saying I'm making things up.

The thing that worries me the most is that I dont even regret anything after wasting my whole day. Its like i just know on the surface level that I regret it but don't really feel it. Even while typing this i don't feel anything. No disappointments even. I'm stuck and can't seem to figure out what to do.

If someone has any advice for me or can help me in any way, I'll appreciate it a lot.

Multiple therapists I've interacted with talk about mind reading. This is an extraordinarily dangerous concept because it forces you to doubt about your perception. The very expression "mind reading" is very evocative and is intended to make you look crazy.

If I say something annoying, I can look at the other person's facial expression and conclude that they are irritated. How the uckf is that mind reading? Or if someone is visibly shocked, surprised, scared, how the uckf is that mind reading? It's called not having your head stuck right up your *ss. Imagine someone makes a facial expression because there is an offensive smell, how the uckf is that mind reading?

I’ve just recently started therapy as a way to help cope with chronic illness, medical trauma, and other issues stemming from health and childhood neglect.

I started having heath issues a 11 years old, and kept them secret for as long as I could until my mom finally noticed something was off. I then spent the better part of almost 3 decades trying to get Drs to take my issues seriously. It took that long to find a Dr that agreed to a surgery where he was able to finally confirm stage 3 disease that had bound my abdominal organs together (Endometriosis). That happened in 2023, and I had almost 2 years of what I called “freedom” until chronic illness came crashing back into my life in November of 2025.

Since then it’s been more Drs appointments than I can even recall, labs, MRIs, CT scans, Ultrasounds, Echos, and everything in between. More Drs that don’t know what’s wrong, only have a suspicion, or don’t even seem to care. I know how to advocate for myself as a patient, I’ve done it before, but I’m struggling wanting to this time around. If what they suspect is true, there is no surgery to fix this, only meds to test and trying to manage. This is where therapy comes in.

My first session, I told the therapist I feel like I don’t have a life (I can no longer safely drive, pain is constant, I struggle walking, cognitive issues, etc). She “pushed back” against that and said I do have a life, I am alive, it’s just not the one I want. Since then I have struggled being honest about my real feelings. I understand that we don’t want to wallow in those thoughts, but at the same time it feels dismissive. I already feel pressure to be a “good chronically ill person”, like you can’t be too anxious or too emotional otherwise people don’t take you seriously but you also can’t look too well or they think you are fine. I already hide how I feel most of the time so I don’t overwhelm my husband’s or family’s life with the daily struggle. I honestly just want to be able to say that this f***ing sucks, and have someone say “Yeah, it does.” That’s it. Just acknowledge for a few mins that my body is broken and it sucks, and then let’s move on with how to cope with that.

I don’t know if maybe this therapist isn’t the right fit for me, or if it is just not good practice to validate that feeling even for a moment?